New World Order plans massive reproductive campaign!
5/15/2002
Obviously threatened by recent Sasquatch and other non-human hominoid population growth, the NWO is planning a massive reproductive campaign, aimed at regaining complete human hegemony over other primates! Although the total Sasquatch and Primate population only numbers around 12 million and grows at about 2% every decade, the New World Order is rapidly losing control of the non-human hominoid population and needs to correct that trend. The NWO is advocating more out-of-wedlock birth, poverty, and the destruction of all birth control devices. They also would like health classes to begin teaching that abstinence is for "losers who can't get any" and promote unprotected sex! This disturbing news comes on the brink of an announcement by the New World Order that Europe's native population is not growing, leaving the world's biggest sasophobic continent without a native base to operate hate and smear campaigns. Sympathetic immigrants from North Africa are entering Europe in waves, and are beggining to upset the established anti-sasquatch opulent class, with their belief in hominoid equality, and animal rights!
We adamantly oppose this new campaign by the Forces of Darkness, who hope to replace grace, light, and truth, with hate, intolerance, and unwaranted bigotry!
English Prime Minister Tony Blair was quoted with saying "All we are doing is extirpating the barriers that prevent against sexual intercourse amongst unmarried couples, we are simply removing old religious dogma and replacing it with enlightened carnality."
French Presiden Jacques Chirac was quite a bit more informal "Finally the people of France can get it on!."
Russian President Vladimer Putin, fresh off signing a treaty which pledged further cooperation with NATO and consequently the NWO, said " Homo Sapiens have a fudamental natural right, or lex naturalis, procreate whenever and however they would like to! The government has no job poking its nose in other people's business."
The Sasquatch Militia released a statement calling on all men of character and piety to defend the sanctity of marriage, and the right of Sasquatch to exist.