Sasquatch Militia Rally is a Huge Success

5/9/2002

Hoping to strike a cord with the college aged supporters of equal rights for all, The Sasquatch Militia had a Gathering over the weekend, and it yielded major results! By all estimations over 5,000 people wearing Cowboy hats showed up! This may have been due to work by our Propaganda Minister, telling everyone that Garth Brooks would be performing later on that Evening. Nontheless, the massive recruitment campaign yielded several new and productive members, including one man who claims "Elvis isn't dead, he went to live with the Sasquatches" This is definitely a productive and large group of stomptroopers. Please welcome your new brothers and sisters into the organization if you see them after Basic Training.

In other news....

The Sasquatch Cavalary rides into Town!

On Sunday morning the Sasquatch Militia's cavalry regiment under the Command of regional commander 10th Grade Chett, rode into town, and began an extensive 28 hour combat simulation drill. These drills were aimed at producing survival in combat, and better communication over radios,and cell phones. No motorcycles were lost, and one stomptrooper was admitted to the local Hospital for dehydration. The routine went very smoothly, other than a few anti-sasquatch demonstrators who threw rocks and insisted we "drop dead" or "dig a hole and bury yourselves freaks!' and the occasional "Get your stomptrooper out of my Yard" type where present. Future exercises are planned under the Command of General Nate later in May, and on July 4th, all stomptroopers, are expected to Participate in Supreme Commander Kyle's food drive, and subsequent picnic. This will be followed by a 48 hour anti-psychotronic field weapon test, and a 12 day simulated battle. This is the closest to real-life combat drill we do all year, and we expect precociously good results this year.

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