Sasquatch Militia Ordains Spiritual Leader

5/10/2002

The Sasquatch Militia has ordained its Spirtual Leader, Phathineth, or Phaj. He is an able bodied officer and will provide support the the Militia and its members throughout the rough times we are currently living in. He was ordained on Friday after completing a special boot camp and intensive Minnesota Basic Standards test! He will bring valuable guidance and spiritual warfare tactics to our organization and will be inducted in the Hierarchy on Monday. All members are to be under direct submission to The Holy Phajer and follow his orders without questioning or whining. The Holy Phajer will also be available from 2:00-2:05 after school for Counseling and shock therapy. Members are expected to donate generously to him and stay out of his way. He will conduct surfing lessons this summer at lake Phalen, if interested, you must first complete our underwater demolition course, offered at the same location.