TRAITORS!

A.K.A: Benedict Arnolds, spys, haters, infiltrators, Dirty Scumbags, betrayers, double-crossers, renegades, mutineers, insurgents, deviants, defectors, two-timers, turncoats, and dissedents.

1. Mike - Defects to other side, under fear of rettribution by Non-Sasquatch Majority. Began serving the Militia May 2nd, and by May 8th had fully renounced the organization. We suspect he was either scared of the Non-Sasquatch Majority, or was in a fact an undercover scumbag, sent by the federalists to spy on our organization, A formal investigation has been launched.

Update: On May 15 Michael Williams was readmitted to the Sasquatch Militia following an investigation into his deviancy. It was determined that Mike was being mind-raped by psychotronic federalists, and was insane. After Mike returned to sapient thought, he was re-evaluated and commissioed as the Secretary of Commerce by the Sasquatch Militia's Hierarchy.

 

We've got our eyes upon you traitor! The NWO will no longer be able to Mind-rape you behind our backs and attempt to cover it up. All individuals beware, Mike is extremely unstable after being mind-raped and also extremely sensitive, so if he exhibits any of these symptons near you, be sure to call the Sasquatch Militia University Hospital and alert Dr. Twig and he will give you instructions on how to restrain this monster.

We've got our eyes on you traitor!

 

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Do not trust these scumbags with small children or other valuable belongings! But you can trust Mike becuase he is no longer being mind-raped, at least for now!!