The other night I lay sleeping, laying close to my wife of some 22 years. Suddenly my body lurched, and I awoke from a dream.
I told my wife that I was having a dream and someone had kicked me in the stomach. She said, "Oh My!" But then I informed her that I could identify my attacker; that I saw his hideous face plainly...It was LIFE!
A little later I dozed off again, and again I lurched...this time I said the culprit was the same...LIFE, but this time I was swinging back.
Then I told my wife (Gwen), "We've been going at it for a lot of years, but I believe I'm losing. He(LIFE) has all the weapons!"
After that, my wife was holding me and sobbing, because she loves me; and I know it hurts her that my life and my perspective of life is full of sadness and pain.
It's not easy living with chronic pain and mental illness, and it's also difficult living with someone you love that is in this condition.
I don't know why I said what I said waking from my dreams. The words just flowed out, like someone far wiser than I was speaking for me; and I'm sorry they saddened my dear wife.
So, I felt that I needed to put this down on paper, to remember, and to tell others.
Why tell others? Because people should know if they suffer from similar conditions of pain and chronic mental illness, and you have a loved one or more--Hang on to those people who love you and try to understand what you're dealing with and/or suffering through. For those people are the Special Angels of the World. Try not to make them suffer any more than you have to! And on days that aren't to bad for you, try to do something nice for them. Let them know how much you appreciate their efforts to help you and put up with your miserable ASS!(HA! HA!)
In short, love them back as much as you can! They deserve it!!
David Wiedner
Disabled Vietnam Vet
ŠAugust 2000
