| .:: Stupid Quotes ::. "Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound." - Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm "I invented the internet". - Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer "I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone, Actress "How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby." - Anonymous Manufacturer "This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time." - Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL "During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails." - AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian "Two grand slams in a week - man, that's seven or eight ribbies right there." - Bill Madlock, Baseball broadcaster "You guys line up alphabetically by height." - Bill Peterson, Florida State football coach "Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl." - Bill Peterson, football coach "The internet is a great way to get on the net." - Bob Dole, Republican presidential candidate "I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears, Pop Singer "Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver." - Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman "The team has come along slow but fast." - Casey Stengel, Baseball player/manager "I think the team that wins Game 5 will win the series. Unless we lose Game 5." - Charles Barkley, NBA Basketball Player "China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese." - Charles De Gaulle, former French President "Football players win football games." - Chuck Knox, football coach "Most lies about blondes are false." - Cincinnati Times-Star, headline "If you give a person a fish, they'll fish for a day. But if you train a person to fish, they'll fish for a lifetime." - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President "It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago" - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President "It's time for the human race to enter the solar system!" - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars "I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." - David Acfield "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." - David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes. "The only reason we're 7-0 is because we've won all seven of our games." - David Garcia, baseball team manager "Sit by the homely girl, you'll look better by comparison." - Debra Maffett, Miss America 1983 "We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out." - Decca Records Rejecting the Beatles, in 1962 "Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something." - Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated "We're just physically not physical enough." - Denny Crum, Louisville basketball coach "Weather forecast: precipitation in the morning, rain in the afternoon." - Detroit Daily News "The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing." - Dizzy Dean explaining how he felt after being hit on the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series. "Can you get a ticket for running a stop sign that is not there?" - Driver school applicant |