| The BDSM Community |
| What does it really bring to my life? Is it worth the risks or burdens it sometimes poses on me? My answer is a loud YES!! For within the Community there is much good, not only to myself but to A/all who enter. When i use the word Community, for the most part i am referring to offline support, social and play groups, online chat rooms and forums, and any other venue the BDSM Community may be found communicating and meeting within. In Gloria Brame's book, Come Hither, the BDSM community is defined as follows: ~The community: a blanket term used to refer to the organized SM/fetish communities, including the thousands of leather clubs, SM venues (bars and play-spaces), educational outreach groups, social clubs, support groups, and all other organizations which openly celebrate S/M fetish sex. The Community does not include everyone who is interested in kink, but is limited to those who actively seek out and maintain close social contact with other kinky people through groups and organizations. ~ For myself, i think of the BDSM community as compromising all people, with an active interest in participating within it. Be they novice, experienced, or Grand Masters. Online only or offline, to me, all that participate positively, in the Community have value to it. Our Community is a subculture, containing many other subcultures. And frankly, being a small part of it amazes and humbles me. We welcome, so many different lifestyles, fetishes, sexual orientations, roles, protocols, etiquette, and even dress codes to our community. To me it's exciting! A Community that let's me be me! Our members incorporate many different roles, each with their own unique egos and characteristics. Masters, Mistress's, Dominants, Tops, submissives, slaves, bottoms and switches, are all cherished members! Some members are single, others engage in many different types of relationships, monogamous, polyamory, families, members of households, D/s, S&m, Master/slave, etc. Within all of that mixture, we also have many different lifestyles practicing BDSM and joining our Communities. Gay, lesbian, straight, pansexual, Old Guard, Leathermen, Gorean, Goth are but a few! Here in this Community, the list of possibilities is endless. i can think of no other Community as diverse as our BDSM Community! Wars are fought over fewer differences, than we have among our own members. Is that not humbling? So what good is it? What purpose does the Community serve? If you have read this far, there is a good chance that you are seeking something from your fellow lifestylers. Somewhere in the Community you will find what it is you seek. Be it answers to your questions, education, instructions, or plain information. It is here and available. Assistance with medical or legal problems, with your own growth, reassurance or support for yourself, help to cope with frezies or drops, it's here. A hand to hold when coping with release, a path from a dangerous situation, safety advice, even a safe call network, all here in our Community. Perhaps it's others you seek? Others, that understand how you feel and can help, a Mentor or Trainer, a playmate, perhaps even a partner! Whatever you're feeling, help support and information is here within the BDSM Community. All you need do is reach out for it. Like all groups, there are sometimes disputes and disagreements, yet it's been my experience that ours is a very loving and supporting Community. The Community grows and fluctuates. Groups evolve and change, old favorites sometimes cease to function, new exciting ones appear! Sometimes the Community goes through hard times, just as we do. Most times the Community shines brightly and accomplishes many wonders. On occasion we find groups that we deem unsuitable for ourselves. Perhaps we think of them as meat markets, full of wannabees, or a war ground, full of intolerances. i try to remind myself, some people need those groups, at that particular time in their own journey. Those that are very unsuitable or unsafe, will soon be ousted. Live and let live, tolerance and respect for each other are key elements to being an asset to the Community. Simply move on to find the group that suits where you are in your personal journey and where you wish to be. Quickly, we find groups that help us flourish! And which do meet the standards each of us have choosen for ourselves. From time to time, many of us have stated that we will leave this lifestyle or our Community. More then once, i myself, have made this statement, usually when in pain, frightened, overwhelmed or in disagreement over something. Always i have felt lost or dissappointed. There are times when Community support has really surprised me. Support sometimes comes from people, you had no idea even saw you. It's then, that i realize the Community watches it's own. It watches our behavior, our actions, it records our reputations, acknowleges our achievements. Some have expectations of our Community, and become loud perhaps hostile when these expectations are not instantly met. They forget the lessons of patience and tolerance we learn so quickly in this lifestyle. Our Community is one, that teaches and guides, mostly by example and seldom by hard and fast written rules. The only firmly established, written rule i can think of that all groups within our Community demand, is Safe, Sane and Consensual. The cornerstones of our Community are respect, honor, tolerance, protocols and discretion, follow these as you will and the Community will never fail you. It humbles me and i am honored to be a small part of it. I encourage and challenge you to give something back to this Community, as it only works with your participation. Lend someone a hand or an ear, pass along a hug, or a simple word of praise or encouragement. Share your thoughts on a forum or two, write or speak, so that others may follow your example and find their own path. Each time you give back to your community, you will find yourself grow. walk in pride, knowing you are not alone all of us are here with you. satin_ocean April 2002 |
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| last updated Jan 9, 2004 |