| Proof, You Say?? |
| Do you still need proof that Nanaimo is crawling with Saturnians?? Well, try this on for size: Nanaimo is basically know for three things: (1) the Bastion, (2) the world's largest bathtub, and (3) the Nanaimo Bar. Here's why I think they apply: |
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| j(1) The Bastion: This is obviously a ship meant for space travel. I mean, LOOK AT IT!!!! That pointed roof isn't there to keep snow off (what snow???)! Those Nanaimo officials are just telling you that it was part of some old fort. The truth is, is that when the Saturnians came here, they brainwashed everybody into beleiving that it's been here since who knows when. You may think it's nothing more than wood, and other building matierials, but in all reality, there are rocket boosters under that thing strong enough to blast you all the way to Sarturn and back in 5 minutes flat!! |
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| (2) The World's Largest Bathtub: We here in Nanaimo all know about the Bathtub, but for any foreigners, Nanaimo has the world's largest bathtub, a symbol for our world famous bathtub races. Now why in the hell would anyone need a bathtub big enough to fit, like, 20 people in it?? For that matter, why would anybody want to race a bathtub?? I'm telling you, it's all part of those crazy Saturnians' plans to take over the world!! |
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| (3) The Nanaimo Bar: This is Nanaimo's very own treat (however, the picture is a poor representative of it)! However, it is my belief that the Saturnians have discovered a way to turn Nanaimo's own snack food against them!! I think that the Saturnians have mixed mind altering drugs into these squares of chocolatey goodness which makes the will of any Nanaimoite completely docile. |
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| ***NOTE**** I do not actually beleive these claims, nor do I wish to insult anyone. In fact I love Nanaimo, and all its attributes (except maybe our transit system, but that's another story). It's all just fun and games here at Saturn Bound!! |
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| Take me home!!! |