History of Sauron!             Written and illustrated by our very own Wolfie-thu

Once upon a time (well, not really, since time had not yet been invented) there was this guy named Eru. Now, Eru was pretty lonely, so he decided to make some beings who he could play, teach, harrass, and generally amuse himself with. These beings were called the Ainur. The Ainur were divided into two groups: Valar and Maiar. I suppose you could say the Valar were like angels, and the Maiar were like... ummmmmmmmmm... cherubs!

Yeah, that's it. So, anyways, there was on little Maia named Artano. Artano was a goo Maia, (most of the time) he always remembered to clean up after himself, and he didn't bite other Ainur like Curunir did. Unfortunately, little Auley soon came under the bad influence of Melkor, who not only smoked, drinked and cussed, but also stayed out in the Void long after curfew. Bad, bad Melkor.

Artano adored Melkor, and was often heard to say "You're my hero Melkor! I want to be just like you when I grow up!", to which Melkor replied, "Sure, kid." Now while all this was going on, a strange idea began to form in Eru's mind. A strange, wild idea. A strange, whild, perhaps even MAD idea!!! Eru decided he would teach the Ainur to make music!!!!! A music that would ring through the empty voidlessness of the Void and create something new and wondrous!!!! Verily. With this in mind, Eru summoned the Ainur to him, and propposed to them the theme from which the music would develop from. He also distributed instruments: Manwe got a flute, Yavanna a bongo, and Olorin a viola, but poor Curunir was only given a triangle, as it was the only instrument they could be sure he wouldn't injure himself or others with. Long the Ainur practised, till the sounds of their hoinking and tootling became too much for the ears of Eru so he decided that the music should begin. And so it did. The music soared through the Void like a thousand orchestras all playing in harmony, and filled the Timeless Halls with melodies almsot as beautiful as the "Friends" theme song. Yet, when the music had only played for a little while, a note of discord came to the ears of Eru. And lo! There was Melkor and Artano, who had started up their own little impromptu jam session in the midst of their brethren's playing (Melkor on tuba, and Artano on harmonica). And in one chord, deeper than the abyss, higher than the firmament, piercing as the light in the eye of Iluvatar, Eru screamed out, "Mel-KOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" And the music stopped. PAGE 2 -- HOME --