I Hate New York

I can't stand New York. I can't think of one good thing to say about it. Seriously.

Why do I hate New York? Here's why:

• The state government consists of fascists.
  
  Governor George Pataki, as well as the rest of state's legislature, are Nazis. Take a look at the laws we have here. (Source)
  

  In Staten Island, New York, You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.
  In Ocean City New York, It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.
  In Carmel, New York, a man cannot be seen in public while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
  # NY State Laws A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
  # It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
  # A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
  # The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
  # A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his or her pocket.
  # While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.
  # Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.In Greene, New York, During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.
  # In New York City... Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".
  # It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing."
  # You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.
  # Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
  In Ocean City, New York It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle.
  In Staten Island, New York, It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior."
  

  See what I mean? Only Nazis pass laws like that. I should be able to jump off a building at my own risk. The penalty is death? So, if I was jumping off a building in an effort to kill myself, wouldn't that law guarantee that I die anyway, giving more incentive to do it? And why can't I throw a ball at someone's head for fun? What if I do it, and I decide it's not "fun?" Will that get me out of it? I especially hate the last one. If my son tried to be gay (or "girlie, as they call it), I'd disown him (after calling him both a "faggot" and a "queer").
• The weather here is horrible. I swear, today, the day I am writing this (May 30, 2006), there was about 137.3% humidity, and it was 90 degrees. Not five days ago, IT FUCKING SNOWED. Yes, in late May, it snows before it reaches 90 degrees. This is bullshit. We also get more snow than any other state, yet for three straight days last winter, it was 70+ degrees. There has never been one full day of perfect weather here. Something inevitably goes wrong every day.

• Everyone I've ever talked to from outside the state thinks I'm from the city. Hey dumbass, there's a whole state up here. And most of it is more rural than parts of the midwest. Mostly farms or woods. The city is over 100 miles from where I live. Get a clue, you retards. I'm going to scalp the next person who assumes I'm from the city, just as this quality photograph shows me scalping my neighbor's cats:
  

• It's the third gayest state in the union. (If you're wonrdering what the first two are, Massachusetts and California.) Just as the above law states, it's illegal to try and stop your children from becoming "faggots" or "queers". Oops! I guess I shouldn't say that.

  Why is everyone fighting for gay rights? It's not discrimination based on a genetic factor like ethnicity or sex. (And don't be stupid. If it was genetic, why would gay people still exist in increasing numbers?) It's discrimination against an action. It's like fighting for the rights of child molesters, or serial killers. I'm sure they didn't want to be what they are, but no one sympathizes with them. Look at all the diseases being spread, and the way men are "supposed" to act these days. Real men don't dress like "faggots", why do they try to make us? I'm a man, dammit. Grow some balls.

• The final reason is that it's illegal to scalp people. What kind of world do we live in where you can't scalp people anymore? I've already been arrested 400 times for this. Doesn't the first amendment guarantee this right? If I may quote the U.S. Constitution:

  "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances; or the freedom to scalp people."

I'm going to take this to the Supreme Court.

I hate New York.

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Updated: 5/30/06.

© 2006 Scalping People