Bullshit Phrases that should be destroyed

I was sitting around the other day thinking about how the world would be better off if everyone except for me was dead. That way, I wouldn't have to hear these bullshit phrases every second of my life. You know what I mean, those things people say all the time JUST TO PISS ME OFF! I hate these phrases:

"My Bad"-This is the "hip" way of saying "sorry", but it succeeds only in me shoving my size 764087 boot up their ass. This makes me want to go around and rip out everyone's larynx, just so there's no chance anyone can say this. My bad? Since when did "bad" become a noun? This is usually uttered after someone does something that's flat out stupid, like drop some poor woman's baby into an alligator infested swamp. It's as if they think everything is just fine because they said "my bad." So when I go around scalping them, it'll be just fine afterward, as long as I throw in a "my bad."

"Your Mom"-It's unbelievable that anyone still says this. When I was in eighth grade, people started saying it, and I immediately knew it was stupid. Now, people my age are still saying it, and they have worn it out to the point where if it is worn out any more, it will collapse into an infinitely dense singularity with no volume, but an intense gravitational force. It's old, banal, and saying it is synonymous with saying, "I AM A COMMUNIST". People use this as a response to any question, serious or otherwise, and there is absolutely no consideration of timing. One time I asked someone "Is that history essay due tomorrow?" which was followed by "YOUR MOM." Bam! Perfect timing to remind me that I want to kill you. At that time, [your mom] I proceeded to rip off[your mom] his arm and hit [your mom] him in the head with [your mom] it. I hate [your mom] everyone who has ever said it, therefore; I hate [your mom] everyone. Your mom.

"Phat"-Nobody who says this knows what it means. Nothing better than taking a simple everyday word, spell it incorrectly, and change the meaning to "DA SHIT", and repeating it to your "HOMIES" more often than when a thought manages to force its way into your head. Phat stands for "Penis Humping Ass Taster". How was this word started? Some bitch called someone else "fat", and when he turned around to beat the shit out of her, she quickly said "I mean it in a "k00l" way!LOL LOL!" Forced to play along with it for years, everyone around them quickly took to the new idea, and it became the "HIPzzZ00rrRRzzZZ" thing to say. I hate everyone who says this, and I have every intention of kicking their phatasses. I hope they die.

"Shotgun"-The First Law of Supreme Ass-Munching Bullshit claims that if you say "shotgun", you are entitled to whatever you were presumably going to fight over, such as the front seat in a car, or some other such petty bullshit. People who say this think that everyone in the universe knows what the hell they are talking about, and that everyone will comply. This one bitch in my school tried to get a piece of pizza before me, so she said "shotgun". When she reached to get it, I took out my katana and chopped her in half. The only thing saying "shotgun" is good for is to let someone know you are about to blow their brains out. Of course these are the same people who touch their nose when they don't want to volunteer for something, like throwing garbage out. It is like they think they'll turn invisible when they do it. This pisses me off so much. Bitch, you will throw my fucking garbage out, or I'll stomp your face into the ground.

"Shotty"-Somebody figured that since "shotgun" is so "k00l", they would make it even "k00ler" by shortening it to "shotty", like everyone in the world gives a shit about the whole thing anyway.

"The best/worst/[insert adjective ending with -est here] ever"-This phrase is just so worn out and tired. Anyone who uses it has no judgement as to when this phrase should be used. For example, if someone had an ordinary bad day, maybe their boss yelled at them, or they have a lot of homework, they will come home and shout "THIS IS THE WORST DAY EVER :( " You think it's the worst day ever? Well, I'm sure I can make it worse for you.

"Sweet"-Add this to your list of 10,000,000,000 words for "cool". This is generally what skateboarders and potheads say when they want to show their appreciation for something. For example: "Look at that sweet jump!" Nobody cares about your stupid skateboarding jargon, or your stupid euphoria. Go kill yourself already.

"Sick"-See sweet.

"Emo"-Stop saying this, you idiots.

"That's how I roll."-No.

"Grillz"-Stupid.

"Bling"-Stupider.

"Nigga"-Stupidest.

"Only in America"-This phrase is only uttered by people who have never been outside the country, and think that America is the only nation where people walk on two feet. This is usually said when someone brings up a bizzarre trivial fact that could happen no other place than here. A good example would be "Gas prices have been rising for years" to which some moron will reply "Only in America!!!11". Stupid.

"What's up/'sup/WHAZZAP!"-Is it that difficult to say "hello" to somebody anymore? I never hear anybody greet someone else with anything other than "Hey, 'sup?". This used to be a way to ask someone what is occurring in their lives, but now it is used excessively. The asker never cares "What is up?", and the answerer never answers with anything other than "nm LOLOL". Really, nothing? So you're telling me that since the last time I've seen you, you've done nothing but go home, stare at the wall all day, and come back to talk to me? Come on, people, at least make some distinguishment between yourself and everyone else. You are all a bunch of soulless clones with nothing better to do than strive for average, nothing higher, nothing lower. Why do you want to be just like everyone else? What is so great about everyone? Most people are stupid and weak, so why would that be your goal? Morons.

I've had enough of this. If I write any more, my head will explode.

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Updated: 11/21/06.