Snoop Dogg is Useless

If you are a fan of Snoop Dogg, click here before you read this.

What has the world come to, where a no-talent loser can make millions of dollars doing nothing but smoking weed and rapping horribly (if "horribly" could come near describing it)? Why would someone pay to listen to someone who can't rap, for one, and when he tries, it's along the lines of drugs, or gangs? Why should someone like this get so much money, fame, and success, while an actual hard worker, like a teacher, for example, who is actually doing something productive, recieves low pay, and gets treated like shit? Why do so many people follow a man who is always in and out of jail, doing drugs, and promoting gang violence?

I hate how he leads off this spawn of "D-O-double-gizzle" lingo that so many people try to mimic. How stupid do you have to be to think that's "cool", let alone make it part of your everyday vocabulary? That is the most moronic thing I've ever heard, end all words with "-izzle". I wonder what someone thinks before buying one of his albums: "Hey, I'm the most stupizzle nizzle you'll ever mizzle. I'm gonna go to the stizzle and bizzle an C.Dizzle of D-O-double-gizzle. Then I'm gonna smoke some mo' wizzle, and shoot some mo' nizzles." In layman's terms, this phrase translates to: "I'm stupid, someone please kill me."

Snoop Dogg's brain is fried, although you probably already knew that. With all the drugs and bad rap, the few neurons remaining inside his skull work tirelessly to shit out some more torturous lyrics for his next album. Even if the lyrics were good, the rhythm still blows. And even if the rhythm was good, the "music" sucks. The "songs" are so bad that listening to them can destroy your brain. They could be used in the war, by playing them loudly to the enemy, but that would constitute a violation of human rights. If I may quote the Universal Declaration of Human Rights:

Article 5.
  • No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment, or Snoop Dogg's raps.

Biological and nuclear weapons have nothing on the big D-O-double-gizzle fo' shizzle. I've only said that "D-O-double-gizzle" line four times, and it's already driving me crazy. How can anyone survive listening to this bullshit?

I think we know what needs to be done.


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Updated: 7/2/06.

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