| "Roger Ebert gave it a thumbs-up."
"No." "The other guy did, too," Dawn added. "I don't care. I'm not seeing a vampire movie. They're always lame and people slay willy-nilly. It's just wrong." "A love story?" "No. If I'm not getting any, Meg, Julia, and Sandra shouldn’t be getting any either." "So…so far we have a nay to animated, romance, action, and horror movies." "What can I say? I have eccentric tastes." "Well, how about a comedy?" Willow offered as Xander came into the living room carrying a small blue bag. "Oh…Buffster. Hey…" He fidgeted nervously. "Are you girls going out? I thought you were going out." "We *are*," Willow said firmly. "We're just deciding on a movie." "No. We're not deciding anything. I'm not going out while the First is plotting to turn us into people-kabobs. We need to be home. The girls need to be training--" "Spike and Anya have them out on patrol, Buffy," Xander said, shifting the bag discretely so that it was tucked half under his coat. "See? We can *totally* go out tonight. Maybe we'll just go to the Bronze," Dawn said. "Get a soda…listen to music…relax." "How about we decide in the car?" Willow suggested. "I'll get the coats! Dawn, why don't you start the car." Squealing, Dawn grabbed the keys. "Meet you out there," she called and sped through the door. Willow passed Buffy's jacket to her and donned her own. "Come on. It will be fun." "Right! Lot's of jollity!" Xander agreed frantically. "You want to come, Xander?" Buffy asked, resigned to her night of forced fun. "No. Nah…I'm just going to stay here. Supervise the potentials and…do my Christian duty or whatever. " "Your Christian duty?" "Yeah. Not exactly sure what that means, but--" The front door suddenly flew open. Andrew charged in and dropped a set of keys on the table. "Okay. I unloaded the cake and I got the wine you told me to get, Xander. Thanks for letting me use your car, Willow. It took a long time 'cause I got carded and they didn't believe I was twenty-one and two months old so they called the manager and then--why is Buffy here?" His eyes froze and his mouth hung open. "She's actually just leaving," Willow cut in before the slayer could answer. "So…let's go, Buffy." "No." "No?" Xander gulped. "No. Something is going on here and I want to know what it is. Why does *Andrew* need to use *Xander's* car to buy wine? Why do you keep trying to push me out of the door and why in the name of my gorgeous pink Pradas does Xander have a bag from Sunnydale Fine Jewelry under his arm and DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO DENY IT BECAUSE I CAN SMELL JEWELRY A MILE AWAY!" Buffy scowled and tapped her foot. "Now, something is totally going on here and I want to know what it is or I'm not leaving this house. Period." Buffy finished her rant, crossed her arms, and pursed her lips. Frozen in shock, Willow, Xander, and Andrew exchanged guilty looks. Finally Willow spoke. "Okay, Buffy. We didn't want to say anything but things have been kind of crazy around here and Xander thought it would be great to have a su--" "SUPPER!" Andrew suddenly chimed in. "A nice supper." He looked hopefully at Buffy, willing her to buy the lie and leave. "Why would I need to leave so you could make dinner?" "Good question, Buffy," Andrew said. "Very good. And you deserve an answer. A good one. The reason you need to leave is…is because…" "BECAUSE IT'S ROMANTIC!" Xander shrieked without warning. "Huh?" Buffy said. Three pairs of eyes turned to Xander. "Romantic. You know…" He turned to Willow with a look that pleaded for her to save him. "With everyone gone…we could be…alone." "Uh-huh. Alone." "Right." "With…Andrew?" "R--Right. With Andrew," Xander replied weakly. Andrew let out a small eep while Buffy cast her eyes heavenward. "So…you want me to leave so you and Andrew can have a romantic dinner alone?" "Right!" Willow finally jumped in. "Sorry, Buffy. We didn't want to keep this from you but we didn't know how you'd take it. I mean, you kinda wigged when I came out so how was Xander to know what you'd say if *he* came out, right?" Andrew let out another frightened eep. "So we're just going to leave and let Xander and Andrew have a…date?" "Right! Let's go!" Willow reached for Buffy's arm to steer her to the door. "And the cake?" she suddenly shot out. "The what?" "The cake." "Dessert!" Andrew choked. "It's for desert." Having finally found his tongue, Andrew warmed to the lie. "Xander loves cake. It's chocolate. He loves chocolate, too. I'm going to make him dinner--with *wine* and then we're gonna have cake. For dessert. Cause it's romantic Just him and me. All alone. Together." The blond stepped close to Xander and bravely took his hand. Buffy took a tentative step toward the door as Andrew breathed a sigh of relief. Without warning, she spun back. "What about the jewelry box?" Quick as a flash, Xander answered, "A present. For Andrew. It's our--our one-month anniversary. I bought him…something. Something good. Good and manly. For our anniversary." "Your anniversary of *what* exactly?" "The anniversary of…" Xander looked at Willow beseechingly. "One month since our first kiss!" Andrew jumped in. "Yeah, it was one month ago today that my little Xanderkins kissed me and it was really magical. We were all alone and--" Andrew stopped when he saw Xander drawing his finger across his throat in a threatening manner. Buffy appeared to be considering what she'd been told. "Oh," Buffy finally said. Then she stood still and refused to move, staring first at Xander, then at Andrew. "Hey, Willow? I think you need to reboot the Slayer," Xander joked. Buffy looked at Xander. "Are you happy Xander?" They could hear Dawn honking the horn in the driveway. "Sure. Happy as a clam. That's me. You better get going." He tried to reassure Buffy with a weak grin and she seemed to accept it. "Okay, then." Buffy placed a quick kiss to his forehead and then grabbed Andrew by his t-shirt. "If you hurt him, you'll *wish* I let Willow skin you. Understand?" Andrew nodded frantically. "Good." She let go of his shirt. "Have fun tonight guys. And, um...congratulations." Then she walked out the door. Willow buttoned her coat as fast as she could. "I'm sorry guys! So, *so* sorry! She wouldn't decide on the movie and then she wouldn't leave and did I mention I'm sorry?" Xander and Andrew quickly dropped their hands and rubbed sweaty palms across their pants. "Spike and the potentials will be back in two hours. Giles will by here by nine with the extra chairs. Did you get the watch okay, Xander?" "Yeah," he said, holding up the bag. "The engraving looks great. Buffy's gonna love her surprise party." "Thank you so much, Xander. And thanks for taking one for the team, guys. We'll tell her the truth after we get back. Oh! And make sure you have all of the decorations up by the time Giles gets here." "Yes, Master," Xander joked. "Now *go* before she gets more suspicious." Willow gave Xander a hug, grabbed her purse, and ran through the door as Dawn honked again. Alone at last, Andrew and Xander breathed a sigh of relief. "Wow, that was close. I really thought--" "*I* kissed *you*?" "Huh?" "You told Buffy that *I* kissed *you*!" "Yeah? It was part of our cover." "But I wouldn't do that! I mean, the more obvious story would be that *you* kissed *me*." "Why is this a big deal, Xander? She bought it, didn't she?" Andrew set the bag of wine on a table and crossed to the closet where he began dragging out bags of decorations they'd hidden there the week before. "And Xanderkins? Where the hell did that come from? I'm just saying that--" "Do you wanna be on top?" "Huh?" "Or would you rather do the bottom?" "Excuse me?" Xander blushed. "Do you want to hang the bottom streamers or the top streamers?" "Oh," Xander said with relief. "It doesn't matter." "Of course it does. We only have two hours. Spike and Anya can't keep the wannabes out forever and once they get here it's all just fighting about missing hair clip thingees and who can thumb wrestle better. Totally nonproductive." "I know. When I look at the smiles on their faces…I just know they're about to steal, explode or throw something. So time is limited…I guess I'll take…bottom?" Xander said uncertainly. "Good." Andrew threw a roll of streamer at Xander and then set about instructing him on how they should be arranged. He referred frequently to a party planning book he had checked out from the library for just this reason. "You need to start at that sconce over there. That's where the balloons will go." Xander eyed the wall suspiciously. "Um…it goes where?" "*You're* the one in construction, Xander. The sconce. The wall bracket candle holder thingee." The two men worked dutifully for a half an hour. Trouble struck when Andrew attempted to use tape on a particularly bumpy part of the wall. The streamer came loose and fluttered over Xander who was occupied with a streamer of his own. "Hells bells! Hold still, Xander. I'll get it." Andrew climbed off of the stool he'd been standing on and grabbed the offending paper, twisting it into shape. He stepped back and surveyed their progress. "That's *not* how it looked in the book." "I'm sure it will be fine. You've done a great job organizing this." "Well you had the good idea in the first place." Andrew continued twisting the strip of paper until it had a perfect double-helix design. "Andrew?" Xander asked, keeping his eyes firmly fixed on the task at hand. "How did you know I like chocolate?" Andrew shrugged. "Just know. I know lots of things about you." "Really? Like what?" "I know…that you like peanut butter sandwiches but not peanut butter and jelly. I know you broke that pot over there last year but Buffy's still never found out. I know that you love Babylon 5, which is SO COOL. There's lots to know about you, I guess." "If anyone ever looked," Xander laughed. "I *always* look!" Andrew said, then blushed. "Well I know things about you, too," Xander said, fidgeting nervously with his roll of streamer. "Like…." "Like you have a brother named Tucker." "Big deal. Everyone knows that." "Ah, but does everyone know he called you Andy-poo-poo when you were little?" Andrew let go of his streamer in dismay. "How did you know that?" he demanded as Xander grinned slyly at him. "You talk in your sleep," he explained. "Oh." "And you're a really good cook," he added shyly, not meeting Andrew's look. "Yeah? Thanks." "No problem. It's the truth. That's why I said what I said. About you making me dinner." "Well I would." "Would what?" "Would make you dinner. If we were celebrating for real. Or dating or something like that." "You would? What would you make?" Xander finally turned to watch Andrew put up the length of streamer that had come loose. "Probably something high in fat *and* cholesterol." "Two of my favorite food groups!" "Yeah…and some great chocolate dessert, but without whipped cream because I know you don't like it." Xander smiled at the back of Andrew's head as he taped the streamer in place. "You knew that?" "Yeah, Anya told me." Thank you Anya, Xander though to himself. Was nothing sacred? "Well, for what it's worth, Andrew, I would love a meal like that. If someone I cared about made it just for me? I think that would be…cool," Xander finished. "You do?" Andrew asked, getting off of his stool. "Sure. *If* we were dating," he added. "Which we're *not*." "Right." They began to pick up the leftover bits of trash and streamers. "If we *were* dating, would you buy me the watch?" Andrew suddenly asked. Xander considered the question. "I probably wouldn't buy you the watch because you already have one and men don't really need jewelry…but I'd buy you something else. Maybe a Star Wars collector plate or something." Andrew was nearly speechless. "You would?" he gasped. "Sure. If it was something you wanted. Something that would make you think of me." "If we were dating, I wouldn't need a plate or a watch to think of *you*, Xander." "I guess not." The room suddenly seemed a lot smaller and warmer than it had earlier. Xander shifted nervously from foot to foot as Andrew came nearer to him. The blond man took the trash from Xander's hand and added it to his own pile, then left to throw it in the kitchen trash. Xander breathed a sigh of relief because for minute there, things felt really weird. "Hey, Xander," Andrew called. "Yeah?" "If we were really on a date tonight, I'd be bringing you dessert right now." Andrew said as he returned. "I guess you would," Xander said as the Incredible Shrinking Room returned. "I'd probably be pouring you some more wine," he added. "Then what would we do?" Andrew was close now and for some reason, Xander felt no need to pull away. "I'd feed you some in front of this fireplace." Andrew licked his lips briefly and Xander watched hypnotized. "And I'd feed *you* some, too. We would talk and laugh about whatever had happened today because we'd be such totally good friends." "That sounds really nice, Andrew." Xander felt his hands sweating nervously. He was sure Andrew could see the perspiration dotting his forehead. "Then you'd feed me the last bite even though you wanted it," Andrew said, "just because you're a nice guy." Xander nodded his agreement, not willing to trust his voice at that moment. "But when you put it in my mouth, a little chocolate would get on my lip--" "So I'd lick it off *for* you," Xander finished, his face inches from Andrew's. "But I couldn't stop with a lick. I'd have to kiss you and taste you because you're so, so sweet." Andrew looked at him with lust-lowered lids. "If we were dating." "Yeah," Xander said. "If we were dating." He could feel Andrew's warm breath on his chin. His face was so close and his lips looked so soft and before he was entirely aware that he was doing it, Xander'd brushed his lips across Andrew's. "Like that?" Andrew asked breathlessly. "Just like that," Xander answered. "Then what would *you* do?" Andrew licked his lips again. "I'd put my hands here," he whispered and set his sweating palms on Xander's hips, pulling him close. "*If* we were dating." "I'd *let* you do that. I mean, if we were dating, I'd *want* you to do that." "Why?" "Because I'd want to feel your body right next to mine. I'd want to know…" Xander stopped. "You'd want to know what?" Andrew asked, mesmerized by Xander's mouth. "I'd--I'd want to feel if you were hard for me," Xander rushed out, shocked by his own boldness. Andrew shuddered visibly. "Xander?" "Yeah?" "We're not dating." "No, we're not." Xander wrapped his hands around Andrew's neck and ran this thumbs over the shorter man's throat. "Xander?" "Yeah?" "Could we start?" The End |
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| Buy the Lie |