"It is -- my time??"
"No, no, no, you got
LOTS of time! -- Six years. Okay, anyway ..."
=====================================
~ "The Last Laugh" ~
A Collection of Quotes, Jokes, and
Insights on Hades' favorite subject
Updated
June 11, 2005
"Get it? The goat was already dead! Ya get it? Eh, oy ..."
Hey, I
figured, the guy is the Lord of the Underworld, right? But he also has a great
sense of humor. This little page here is a collection of, er, *remarkable*
insights I have found on the subject Hades is so actively involved in -- Death.
Why try to
find humor in Death? Because, hey, while it is inevitable, and a little scary --
okay, a lot -- what better approach can we take to put it in perspective than a
little humor? These people I'm quoting seem to think so, anyway.
Newer stuff
will appear at the top as I find good bits, so check back often, okay Babe? If
ya got a good one, too, feel free to e-mail
it to me - thanks!
See? There
ARE worse things than Death. Like dying and getting that sawmill worker's
epitaph, for instance. ;-) Enjoy!
NOTE:
If you e-mailed me a death quote, I DID receive it -- but then subsequently lost
it when my computer crashed. Please, please, please, by all means, resend it
and I'll be sure to put it right back up!!
Sorry for losing 'em; they were some good ones.
"You! You're
supposed to be dead!"
"... Am I not? [*pause*] ... Oh."
~Pintel and
Captain Jack Sparrow in "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black
Pearl"
"Life's not too short. Death's just real long."
~ A really
cool t-shirt
"I do not care enough about life to be afraid of
death."
~ D'Artagnan
in Alexandre Dumas's "The Three Musketeers"
"My candle burns at both ends;
it will not last the night;
but ah, my foes, and oh, my friends --
it gives a lovely light!"
~ Edna St.
Vincent Millay
"But, Data -- they were already dead. I mean, what more could have happened to them?"
~ Captain
Jean-Luc Picard in "Star Trek: The Next Generation"
"How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life."
~ Captain
James T. Kirk in "Star Trek"
"I shall not die of a cold. I shall die of having lived."
~ Willa Cather
"Fear not death, for the sooner we die the longer we shall be immortal."
~ Benjamin
Franklin
"For what is it to die,
But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind?
And when the Earth has claimed our limbs,
Then we shall truly dance."
~ Kahlil
Gibran
"Is death the last sleep? No -- it is the last and final awakening."
~ Sir Walter
Scott
"While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are
rejoicing to meet him behind the veil."
~ John Taylor
"To die would be a great adventure."
~ Peter Pan,
in James M. Barrie's play
"There will always be death and taxes; however, death doesn't
get worse every year."
~ Author Unknown
"Hades! How are things in the Underworld?"
"Well, they're just fine, you know -- little dark, little gloomy,
and as always, full a' dead people. Aww, what 'cha
gonna do."
~ Zeus and Hades in "Hercules"
"Hey, John, I gotta ask -- have you ever killed anybody?"
"Counting today?"
~ Michael J. Fox and James Woods in "The Hard Way"
"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
~ Steven Wright
"Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's
troublesome."
~ Issac Asimov
"He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by
death."
~ H.H. Munroe
"Please don't be sad,
If when you go,
You die without
A lot of dough.
For you will find,
When you are gone,
There isn't much
To spend it on."
~ Bruce Lansky
"Death is a mere comma, not an exclamation point!"
~ Neal A. Maxwell.
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to
achieve immortality through not dying."
~ Woody Allen
"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the
hospitals dying of nothing."
~ Redd Foxx
"Death is Nature's way of saying, Howdy."
~ Author Unknown
"How shocking to the human mind
The log did him to powder grind.
God did command his soul away
His summings we much all obey."
~ An epitaph on an old gentleman from Vermont who died in a sawmill accident
"Die, v.: To stop sinning suddenly."
~ Elbert Hubbard
"Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg
to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your
wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get
remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for
thirty five years and you pay it back and then one day you have a massive
stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets
and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into
rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then one
day you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city
bus and then you die. Maybe."
~ Denis Leary
"All say, 'How hard it is that we have to die' - a strange
complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live."
~ Mark Twain
"He intended to live forever, or die in the attempt."
~ Joseph Heller
"Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to
have nothing whatsoever to do with it."
~ W. Somerset Maugham
"While crossing the Styx I could tell
That the ferryman didn't fare well.
He despairingly said,
'All my clients are dead,
'And my business is going to hell.'"
~ Leslie Danford Perkins
"Today is the last day of your life, so far."
~ Author Unknown
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it."
~ Mark Twain
"Oh Death, Oh Death, Thou art so unfair;
To take away Sonny, and still leave us Cher."
~ Eric Idle
"The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of
eternity."
~ Seneca
"So, do you have any funny quotes about Death?"
"... I can't wait."
~ Me and my Mother -- said with a smile
Back to The Main
Page, Babe.