Why must my past
Return to me
Unwanted?
Something I'd forgotten
And let die
Ressurrected.
More beautiful and right.
Than I had dreamed.
Now, not mine
Though it could be.
Mine to hold
Mine to touch
Mine to trust
Mine to love.
Could be all mine.
No one elses
Finally I have the chance
The opportunity
I longed for before.
In the past.
But is it best left there?
I cannot see.
What I want isn't always
What I need.
I want someone
To hold me
To touch me
To trust me
To love me
And no one else,
I need the same
To make me smile inside.
But would I get it
From the past?
A chance I feel the need to take
For mine and the past's own sake.
I'd give my life
For one so simple
It bores me.
So uncomplicated
It smothers me
With monotony.
I'd give my mind
For one that knows
What it really desires.
A heart
That doesn't changes loves
As raven's flight changes direction.
Waited and hoped
For so long
For Another.
Now, Another is different
To how they had
Previously seemed.
I'm unsure if I wanted
Who they are
Or who I thought they were.
Feeling strangely inadequate
To be with them.
Undeserving and ungrateful.
I can't comprehend
Why I feel this way
When I'd wanted so long.
Should I leave?
Willing to give up what
I needed?
Or stay?
To discover who they are
And find myself wanting them for that.
It'll be better
I can see.
So then i'm secure.
My mind at ease.
Perfectly content.
Black's never black
White's never white.
Neither clear cut
In the heat of a fight.
At first seeming opposite,
Different.
No similarities
No way to confuse.
You choose.
Then aims become blurred.
Reasons become unjust.
Actions become uncalled for.
Opinions become extreme.
No longer so opposite
Different.
Similarities
The possibility to confuse.
More complex than first impressions.
Regret follows as you,
Now committed
Resent.
Unable to leave
Laid down your life
Won't repeat this mistake
Hindsight proves.
Black's never black
White's never white.
Never give an answer
Until you've looked in all light.
And disrupted my perfect dream
When I saw you.
I tired tohate you for it
But gave up trying
As I realised I couldn't.
Now i want you
But I don't know if it's the real you
Or who I think you are.
Risk everything on a theory?
Leave for a new dream?
I can't tell.
Need something to help me.
Not losing what i want twice.
Need you to say, show if you feel.
Two dreams with love impending
One or other must come to an ending.
Alone, silently dreaming of feelings to come.
Days not tainted by depression.
Nights not haunted by relentless demons.
When she can awake and smile at seeings sun's dawn,
When she can sleep with the moon shining upon her and laugh in her dreams.
Constantly waiting for the untimely day.
Expecting it's arrival with such faith.
She knows it will come,
It has to.
Otherwise her dreams are ended,
Removed by faith.
Lied to by her soul.