Only Heaven Knows

As we head towards the future, we face an illusion of existence. An explicit vision of being, signifying the open choices we will confront, to set our fate in this earthly existence. And yet I wonder why, people attempt to defy the odds of cheating the way we are, avoiding the unavoidable at any costs to the lives of others. Against the ethics people stand by. And to the science in which we attempt to grasp.

Mulder stared up into the canopy of darkness that had appeared, as the sun dissolved behind the horizon. The stars twinkled against the black night, displaying constellations of the far away galaxies. The Milky Way flowed in abundance of stars; all aligned and charted upon astronomical data in accordance to the way the astronomers and scientists had discovered them. Mulder pondered upon that thought.

In actual fact, what was displayed upon the night sky, was the past of something that had existed in a time gone by. It was… Ethereal. It was an illusion. Nothing else needs more say.

He swallowed his thoughts to himself as the night sky was lit up with a bright shooting star. A smile crept across his face at the sight. The light passed by all the familiar star signs that Mulder had been taught as a kid. Watching them, naming them in turn, his eyes strayed to a bright red star. Not recognising it, he decided to appoint it a name. But before he could, his cell phone rang.

Punching in the receive button he said, “Unless this is very important, or you are good looking, then I’m hanging up.”

“Well I’ll take option two,” Said a familiar voice on the other line. Mulder laughed to himself, contemplating the facial expression belonging to the other line.

“Scully. So I’m guessing not only that, but you have something important?”

There was a sigh on the other line. “Not necessarily. Actually, I was calling let you know that the autopsy you had me perform. The results concluded nothing unusual, so I’ve handed the case over to the Crime Division, and I’m counting that you aren’t going to be too fussed about this.” Scully paused briefly.

Mulder chewed over the thought. “Well, if that’s what you turned up then I’m fine on that. Actually my high priority at this moment is trying to figure out a name for a star I haven’t seen in these skies before.”

“Mulder, where are you?” Scully asked coyly.

“You know that park around the corner from my apartment, where I jog regularly? I’m there, just looking. Any ideas as to what I should call it?” Mulder continued.

“Name it after me. Listen, I’m going to drop by and leave the final case reports at you’re apartment ok? And then I don’t want to be called for a while or go any where! I’ve had it for this week!” Scully said with relief in her voice. “And whether you have something on or not, I am going to just wind down for a couple of days. You know, refuel my self. Oh and Mulder? You might want to have some sleep too.”

Mulder had to admit he agreed with Scully, and was feeling the same way himself with all the travelling he had been doing lately. From Los Angeles to New York, and then off to Los Vegas, chasing a serial killer, all in the time span of only a bit over a week.

“You ask that of me, and then want a star named after you?” Mulder smiled, and looked up into the night sky, trying to imagine the glowing red star. Hmm. Scully. “Besides, I was actually planning a trip around the world with you. After seeing a bit of the world, a little more couldn’t hurt.”

“Mulder. I’d rather do autopsies. At least they give me a chance to doze off.” Scully laughed.

“Hey, are you doing anything right now?” Mulder said, on the verge of an idea. “Because, if you aren’t then why don’t you come down here and I’ll show you the star named after you!”

“Ok, well give me a couple of minutes, and I’ll be there. Want me to pick up some coffee or something?” Scully said, through shuffling papers and packing up her belongings.

“Ok. See you here in about 20 minutes.” Mulder said before turning his phone off.

Mulder glanced up at the red star. Scully’s name did suit it. It was a fiery star, standing out above the rest, always catching his eye wherever they were looking. Much like Scully.

Mulder got restless waiting for Scully. He did not have his watch on, it was back at his apartment, and he was positive that she was taking longer than expected.

He decided to listen to some music in order to distract him. After flicking through some channels, Mulder listened to a song that seemed to catch his attention. Lyrics of a song always had a meaning, whether it was intended to or not. It always seemed to tell a story. Depending on what mood a person was, the words held a different perspective.

Deep, deep in our hearts,
Strangers apart
Oh please come back to me…
No more to leave
Never to breathe
I give my word to you.

Mulder had heard this song once or twice, not that he had had the time then to actually listen to the words closely. But the story in this song seemed to relate to himself and Scully.

Love in my mind,
Love in my soul
I just can’t let go
Sadness fills my life on my foolish plight.
Only heaven knows.

Tears, Tears in the night
Sorrow takes flight

Oh please come back to me.
Each we believe
Never to grieve
I give my word to you.

The more he listened the more he realised how suiting it was.

Love in my mind,
Love in my soul
I just can’t let go
Sadness fills my life
On my foolish plight.
Only heaven knows.

It was hard to describe in his mind his relationship towards Scully. He was not involved with her, but his feelings for her were more than just being partners for the FBI. And it was not just love either. Something like that was too easy to commit to. But with Scully? It was different. Mutual maybe. Metaphysical was a better way to place it. It went as far as the earth extended and beyond. Two parts made a whole. And as Jerry Maguire had said ‘You complete me.’ That’s exactly how he felt about Scully. He was lost without her. But to actually express this to her. Impossible.

Mulder began to drift off and eventually fell into a deep sleep.

20 Minutes later…

Scully parked her car over at the parking lot behind Mulder’s apartment, and decided to walk over to the park after having dropped off the Field Reports. Her day had been hectic and busy. She had spent half the day trying to stay awake in front of her computer screen, writing transfer reports to AD Skinner, to resolve her, - their – part of the case. And she was relieved that Mulder had dismissed the case as a no goer. Often he seemed eager to pursue a case that was out of the ordinary.

Scully crossed the road, still carrying two Styrofoam cups with her hands, thanking for the lids that were pressed tightly on top, sealing the coffee, as she spotted Mulder lying down on the grass with a couple of his small objects around him.

Trying not to disturb his concentration, as she believed his was looking up at the stars; she sat down beside him and noticed that he was asleep with Earphones in his ears, attached to a Walkman.

Scully smiled to herself as she placed his coffee beside him, but also out of reach so that he wouldn’t knock it if he woke up all of a sudden.

Taking a small sip of her own, she looked down at Mulder, watching him breathe in and out slightly. His face was relaxed, not in the tense or stressed form, which she had seen from him most of the times he had slept before. Having had not much sleep, she was actually glad that he had closed his eyes. It was a nice night, and out of curiosity, she peered up into the sky to see if she could make out the star that Mulder had named after her.

She too was also taught the constellations by her father, as he also told her about the times during the war on a still night of silence he used to create stories for the stars, naming them from the sheer size and form, character and roles. Of course there were made up, but Scully stilled remembered the names and all the stories. Perhaps she would have shared them with Mulder, had he not been sleeping.

And then her attention was brought back to Mulder as she was sure he had stirred slightly, or spoken in his sleep. Often she wondered whether he had trouble sleeping at night, and what he dreamt about. Scully cared about Mulder, and about all the things around him which had affected him and which still held the effect, tormenting him. Probably in his sleep.

But then again, Mulder was known to have other interests, needless to say. And she was also sure that if she ever saw Mulder sleeping with a smile, he would be content.

Then a thought startled Scully. What could make Mulder content? What did he need? Surely even if he did find his sister, it would not be the only thing to make him happy. There are other needs in this world. And not just the basic essentials.

The Personality inside is what defines a person. The experiences one has with another also defines a person. And not only in just other peoples minds.

Scully looked down again at Mulder, considering the fact that maybe she could make him content. She did feel that way about him. But not just love either. Love was not the only thing to make people happy. The way you act, or treat someone etc. Scully always wondered about Mulder’s view of her.

Could it be possible that She could ever confront to Mulder or even herself this issue? Surely she had encountered it several times. And she was sure Mulder and found it, but whether or not it was for certain. Scully watched Mulder for a while. His mouth was pursed together, but only slightly. His eyes closed lightly, and she could feel the air coming out of his nose.

How could that be? She wasn’t even that close to Mulder. Well, she shifted her self towards him, to get a better look. It wasn’t as though she came this close to him every day.

He did always lean over her, gently placing his hand on her back or shoulder when reading a case file that she had found. Or sometimes when they were lost together, they had their personal times, always cuddling close to keep warm.

Scully smiled at the thought of what it would be like to kiss Mulder’s lips. To taste him. She did enjoy his smells she had to admit. They were well defined. And his voice. It made her feel good to even hear him say her name!

His hair was dark brown and she gently reached her hand to brush it from his face, however it continued to flop back. But his eyes were intriguing. Illuminate, deep pools, a reach tone of brown.

And now the more she thought about him, the more she felt the need to kiss him. It was tempting, but their relationship remained straightforward. The FBI had special regulations for this kind of thing, which was a pain in the ass.

Scully wondered if things had been different if they didn’t work together. But then, if they hadn’t worked together, they may have not gotten to know each other this well, so it wasn’t such a bad thing. At least she got to see him every day.

But now the kiss thing was bothering her. Surely it couldn’t hurt. He was asleep – and he definitely was a deep sleeper. Could it be possible?

Scully was drawn towards his mouth, running her fingers along the contours of his cheekbones, following his chin, before homing in on his lips. She leant forward to kissing him softly before pulling away.

And Mulder opened his eyes.

- Scully eXtremis