The eXtremis X-files Fanfiction
[ Lucy Love's the X-files ]
Lucy Loves The X Files

Written by Lucy Scully (scully@ecsis.net) and Sexy DrScully (enigmaticdrscull@hotmail.com)

Rating - G

Summary: Ricky is missing, so Lucy seeks the aid of Agents Mulder and Scully to find him. Lucy has special plans on how she wants to thank them for finding her husband.

Disclaimer: OK so Lucy and I decided to get together and do a little plotting But alas the incredible Mulder and Scully are not ours, therefore we are returning them to their rightful owners at this time. Mr. Carter, here you go, we didn’t hurt them at all. And see nothing but a suggestion of a kiss, so you can relax. Mulder and Scully belong to CC, 20th Century Fox, 1013Productions and David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson who bring them to life so realistically that we hope we’ve captured their mannerisms well. No infringement was intended. This is purely entertainment and no profit is being made off of it. I Love Lucy is has been a DesiLu production and belongs to the amazingly talented Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. May they rest in peace. No infringement is intended.

Lucy Loves the X-files

The Ricardos Living Room

3:15 p.m.

Lucy couldn't take it anymore. She knew that Ricky was supposed to be home hours ago. The anxiety was building. There had been a case of a missing band leader a year ago. Surely this is not happening again. Why would anyone want to take a band leader? she asked herself.

She thought - Ok, if I were a band leader, where would I hide? No, that is no good. He is not hiding from me, he is gone! Or is he hiding? I bought that hat even though he told me not to, but he wouldn't leave over this? Ricky, oh, Ricky! Where could you be?

I know, Lucy thought. I'll call the FBI. I hear they have a perfect team of agents that can get the job done quick. Obviously the police think this is not serious enough.

She looked up the number and called immediately. Then she called Ethel and Fred to come over while she waited for the FBI to come.

Washington DC

8:30 a.m.

Mulder filled Scully in on the events that had been happening with the missing band leader, Ricky Ricardo.

"I need to kind of fill you in on Mr. Ricardo's wife before we leave." Mulder told Scully.

"Ok, I'm listening." she said.

"There have been rumors that Mrs. Ricardo is a bit touched. Not insane, just a bit overly zealous. The Lone Gunmen are big fans of Ricky Ricardo, so they know all about him and his family. When the Ricardos went to Hollywood a few years ago, strange things would always happen when she was around movie stars. She can get into the strangest kinds of predicaments, that I've ever heard of!" Mulder said.

"Now, Mulder. Strange for you, or strange for ordinary people?" Scully smiled. "O.K., when do we leave?"

The Ricardos’ Apartment

5:23 p.m.

"Lucy, when did you notice Ricky was missing?" asked Fred.

"Well, when I came in from shopping for that new dress, I noticed that Ricky's coat was still hanging in the closet, and he never leaves his coat. So I looked around and then called the club, and they said that he had not been in yet, " Lucy replied as she was pacing the floor.

"Tonight was the big premiere for his new number - "Drums Along The Conga Line."

"Lucy, are you sure Ricky isn't playing a joke on you or something? The other day, I heard him yelling at you for buying that new hat," Ethel said as she was eating chocolates.

"Ethel! I know that is not it. I promised not to buy another hat, and he forgave me. This is different, I just know it!" Lucy cried as she walked into the bedroom.

The Next Day

Mulder and Scully arrived at the Ricardo's apartment at 9:00 a.m. Mulder looked at Scully before knocking on the door. “Well here goes nothing,” said Mulder.

“”I bet.” Replied Scully sarcastically.

“Do I detect a hint of negativity Agent Scully?”

“No, not at all Agent Mulder.”

Just then the door opened to reveal a tall, slim, red head who looked like she was right out of an old sitcom. The dress, the hair, everything about her screamed Donna Reed.

“Yes?”

“Mrs. Ricardo? I’m Agent Mulder and this is Agent Scully. We’re here about you’re husband.”

“Oh! Please come in! Did you find him? I’ve been so worried! It’s not like Ricky to disappear without a word to anyone. WOW! A female FBI agent! When did they do that?” Scully shot a quizzical look to Mulder who looked like he was thoroughly amused by the tall woman. Scully was the first to reply to Mrs. Ricardo.

“No, I’m afraid we haven’t found him ma’am. And the FBI has been employing women for quite some time now. If we may ask you just a few questions?”

“Oh of course, please come in, come in. These are our friends and landlords, Ethel and Fred Mertz. Ethel, Fred, these are the FBI agents that I called. Agents Scully and Mulder. Please sit down. Can I get you anything?”

“No thank you Mrs. Ricardo. We just have a few questions for you. When was the last time that you saw your husband?”

“Well the day before I got up and made breakfast and then left while Ricky was still eating. I went shopping and when he never came home I noticed that his coat was still in the closet. I got worried. I called the club, but they said he never came in. Please, can you find my husband?” Mulder looked at the distraught woman. The poor woman looked like she was about to have a nervous breakdown. She must really love her husband, Mulder thought.

“Well we’re going to do everything we can Mrs. Ricardo. Now do you know of anyone who would want to hurt your husband? Maybe an enemy, someone who was angry with him over something? Someone that might have to do with his club or show?”

Lucy turned to Mulder and smiled, “No Agent Mulder. Everybody loves Ricky. Who would want to hurt him?”

“Mrs. Ricardo, is it possible that he left of his own accord? Was everything all right in your marriage?”

Lucy stared at the woman in from of her, “LEFT? You think that he ran out on me?! Agent Scully, My husband loves me and our son! He would NEVER leave!!! And I resent the fact that you would even suggest such a thing.”

“I apologize if I upset you Mrs. Ricardo but I had to ask. Many times it is the case that spouse runs off with the money or the child. I meant no disrespect.” Lucy sighed.

“No, I understand. It’s just that I don’t understand where Ricky could have possibly went to! He never left without his coat.”

“Well we’ll do whatever we can Mrs. Ricardo.”

“ Thank you.” They all got up and Mulder and Scully left.

“Well Mulder, that was definitely strange. They look like they’re stuck in some weird time warp! What’s with the clothes and hair? And since when did women get to work for the FBI? What was with THAT?”

“Yeah, it is weird. Well what do you say we head over to the club of his.”

“Sure sounds good.”

The back room of the Golden Palms Club

1:13 p.m.

Xavier Cugat was pacing the floor. He couldn't believe that Ricky Ricardo was that easy to kidnap. There he was just sitting at the breakfast table, reading his newspaper, drinking his coffee, and eating his bacon. WOW, laughed Cugat. This was a cinch. All Cugat did was knock on the backdoor, and yell, "Milkman!" Then Ricky opened the door, without looking, and yelled, "Lucy! Come pay the milkman!" Then Cugat went in for the rush.

Now, here is Ricky Ricardo tied up in a chair in the back room of the Golden Palms Club.

"Ricky Ricardo!" yells Cugat. "I told you that if you started to sing "Drums Along the Conga Line" this would happen. You knew that was my song!"

Ricky could not speak because Cugat stuffed a sock in his mouth. Ricky just sat there shaking his head trying to say something. Finally Cugat let the sock out of his mouth.

"That was Marco's song, Cugat! You didn't write it, Marco did!" Ricky said with frustration, because they had had this conversation before. "I can't believe that you would stoop this low!"

Cugat just growled something at him. No way would he let this Cuban dream boat take credit for that song.

"You don't get it, MR. Ricardo. Marco is my long lost brother. I am trying to protect him. This happened a year ago, when I took that other bandleader and held him hostage. Marco is too nice to say anything, so I'm taking up for him AGAIN! That song was for me, for my club, not for you and your Tropicana night club!" Cugat yelled.

"All right, all right! Take the song, Cugat! I won't let the cat out of the hat bag about your number, " Ricky promised. "Now let me outta here.!"

"No way, are you going anywhere, Ricardo!" Cugat sneered.

The Ricardo's Apartment

2:00 p.m.

"Weren't they a lovely couple, Ethel?" Lucy said, trying to get her mind off Ricky for a minute.

"I still did not know that there were lady FBI agents! How keen! Did you see that smart suit she was wearing? And those cute shoes? I have the perfect ha-! What am I saying? Ricky's missing, and here I am gabbing about clothes! But the way Agent Mulder said that everything would be ok, I just have this wonderful feeling that they will find him. There is something about that man that I trust. I can feel it, I know it, Ricky will be home soon"

"It's all right, Lucy. Ricky would understand. Agents Mulder and Scully look so smart, I know they will get the job done!" Ethel said trying to reassure her.

"You are right, Ethel. They were just the cutest little couple. I could just see the way they looked at each other that they are meant for each other. I wonder how we could get them together? I think I read somewhere that it is against bureau policy for agents to fratinize on the job. But this is a perfect opportunity! That is what I'll do! When they find Ricky, I will fix them up - as a couple - and that will be my way of thanking them!" Lucy said with a gleam in her eye.

"Now Lucy, how many times has Ricky told you to mind your own business as far as other people are concerned?" Ethel said raising an eyebrow.

"Don't you see, Ethel, Ricky will be so glad to be home, that he won't pay any attention. Besides, this gets my mind off things, and it gives me a plan." Ethel rolled her eyes in frustration because she knew that she was going to be dragged into something again! Tropicana Night Club

2:12 p.m.

Mulder and Scully pulled up to the club and went inside. Looking around it was like something right out of Casablanca. Right down to the piano player named Sam. Mulder turned and gave Scully a look that said, ‘And people think I’M spooky.’ Scully chuckled at him and started humming the theme from the Twilight Zone. Mulder smiled at her and started looking for a manager.

“Hey Scully, you think they would hire you?”

“Hire me as what Mulder?”

“A showgirl of course. You know you could wear those cute little beaded outfits.” Scully looked up at him with a smirk. “Sure Mulder. And you can bang on the conga drums.”

“Excuse me, can I help you?”

“Yes, actually you could. We’re looking for the manager. I’m Agent Scully and this is Agent Mulder. We’re here about Mr. Ricardo’s disappearance.”

“OH! Of course! Well that would be me, Alvin Littlefield. Please come and sit down. Now what is it that I can do for you?”

“Well we have some questions to ask. Did Mr. Ricardo have any enemies that you know of? Any one who was angry at him or anyone he’s argued with before, maybe recently?”

“Agent, uh.. Scully was it? You must understand that this is New York. And show business is incredibly competitive. There are those in the business that I’m sure would prefer Ricky’s club not be as successful as it is. But the truth is I can’t think of any one of our competitors who would do something like this. Try and steal the business away yes, but not kidnap Ricky. But the other day, I heard Xavier Cugat and Ricky outside discussing very loudly something about a song. Xavier Cugat is the bandleader across the street who runs The Golden Palms, " said Mr. Littlefield.

"All right, Mr. Littlefield. Thank you for your time. If we have any further questions, we'll be in touch with you, " Mulder said as he stood up.

"Scully, put on your dancing shoes, and let's go check out the Golden Palms Club, " Mulder said gleefully.

The Golden Palms

8:28 p.m.

The customers were just about filling up the dance floor. Mulder and Scully were actually enjoying this music.

"Gee, Scully, this music sure does have a good beat to it. Makes me want to get out there and show them my stuff, " Mulder said smiling.

Scully just gave him that usual look of - You are insane, Mulder. They eventually made there way down the hall, with Mulder dancing along as Scully walked in front, almost acting like she did not know him. In the backroom, Cugat was yelling at Ricky.

"I can't let you go! Don't you understand? You will go straight to the police. No, I think I will put you on the fishing boat to China. They'll never be able to understand what you are saying to them there!" Cugat laughed. Ricky could not speak. For once he was at a loss for words.

"Did you hear that, Mulder? It sounds like someone is yelling," Scully said.

They leaned closer to the door. Mulder gave her the nod, and as usual,

Scully kicked the door in. They were standing there with their guns out aiming at Cugat. "Federal Agents! Drop your weapon!" Scully yelled.

"Uh, Scully, he doesn't have a weapon, all he has is a sock!" Mulder said.

"Hands up, and slowly put the sock on the floor!" Scully yells at Cugat. Cugat, being the bandleader that he is, slowly put the sock down.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!” He yelled. “I never hurt him. I was only protecting my brother!" Cugat said.

"Mr. Ricardo, are you all right?" Mulder asks.

"I'm fine, thank you. Just please untangle me, " Ricky pleads. Scully unties Ricky while Mulder puts the cuffs on Cugat until the police get there.

"Let's get you home, Mr. Ricardo. You're wife has been so worried about you, " Scully said.

The Ricardo's Apartment

10:34 p.m.

Lucy was making coffee when she heard that old familiar voice, "Lucy, I’m home!" She dropped everything and ran to the living room.

"Ricky! Oh, Ricky! I knew they would find you! I’m so glad to see you! I'm never letting you out of my sight again!" Lucy said as she kissed him.

"Oh, thank you, thank you so much for finding my husband! Agent Mulder, I knew you and Agent Scully would find him!" Lucy said as she gave Agent Mulder a peck on the cheek. Mulder just grinned and Scully looked amused.

"Mrs. Ricardo, your husband is fine. No damage has been done. We'll be on our way now, " Scully said.

"No wait! You can't go yet! Please stay and be our guests at the Tropicana tomorrow night," Ricky said in between kisses from Lucy.

"Well, Scully, what do you say? Did you bring your dancing shoes? And it is the weekend, " Mulder asked her with a look in his eye. "Why not?" Scully said shrugging her shoulders.

"Yes, how wonderful! It will give us a chance to go shopping for you a dress, " Lucy said smiling at Scully.

"Uh oh, be careful, Agent Scully!" Ethel said as she was walking out the door. Wonder what that means, Scully thought.

Macy's Department Store

9:30 a.m.

"I'm so glad you and Agent Mulder decided to stay. This will give us a chance to talk. Thank you again, so much for finding Ricky," Lucy said to Scully as they headed for the dresses.

“It’s really not a problem Mrs. Ricardo. It’s what we do.”

“Oh, please call me Lucy. If you don’t mind me asking, are you and Agent Mulder….”

“NO! I mean, no, we’re just friends and partners. That’s all.” “Seems like a waste if you ask me.”

“Excuse me?!?”

“Well you’re both just so lovely. And you look very good as a couple. And it’s obvious that you care for one another. Oooooo would you just LOOK at this dress! It would be perfect for you! And with that color red! It’s so hard to find dresses that look good on a red head isn’t it? You must try it on!” Lucy grabbed the dress off the rack, it was an ankle length sky blue silk shear shift dress that left nothing to the imagination.

“I don’t know Lucy. I mean… there isn’t really very much to it….I don’t think that I could possibly wear something like this.”

“Are you kidding! With your figure! Of course you can.. go on try it on! Agent Mulder will just die when he sees you in that dress. Trust me!" Lucy said as she pushed Scully into the dressing room. Oh, what the heck! I'm not getting any younger, Scully thought.

The Tropicana Nightclub

8:00 p.m

Ricky was onstage singing his numbers, with a larger crowd than usual. After reading about the kidnapping in the local paper, the people were naturally curious. Xaiver Cugat was suffering an emotional breakdown from low attendance at his club, therefore, prompting him to kidnap Ricky. Ricky never gave the secret away that Marco was Cugat's brother. No cat out of the hat bag from Ricky. Needless to say, Ricky did not perform "Drums Along the Conga Line." Lucy and the Mertzes were sitting at a table in the front with Agent Mulder. They had been waiting on Agent Scully for 15 minutes.

"Don't worry, she'll be here!" Lucy assured Mulder.

"It's just not like her to be late for anything," Mulder told Lucy. Lucy just smiled and gave Ethel a wink.

Just then, as Ricky was announcing his next song, Scully walked in. Mulder just had to stand up, with his mouth open wide. He could not believe that was his Scully standing there so beautiful in that dress with her hair pulled up and curled around her face in loose ringlets.

"Well, Agent Mulder, aren't you going to ask her to dance?" Lucy nudged him.

"I, uh,...." were all the word he could get out of his mouth.

"This next number goes out to two wonderful people, who I owe a great deal to. Would Agents Mudler and Scully please come to the front?" Ricky said smiling.

Scully stood there and waited for Mulder to take her hand as the band began to play, "Cheek to Cheek." Ricky started walking off the stage to get Lucy so he could dance with her and sing to her. "Well, Agent Scully. May I have this dance?" asked Mulder.

"I would be delighted," Scully said smiling.

Mulder held her close and listened to the words of the song. He could not believe that this was his Scully! Dancing so close with her, and smelling that wonderful perfume smell. Scully noticed that he was taking in her perfume.

"Like the perfume? That is some of Lucy's favorite. It's called My Sin. She brought some back for her son's babysitter, and it smelled so good, she bought some for herself. She just knew you would like it." Scully told him.

Mulder just stopped and looked at her with a stunned look on his face.

"Um hum," was all Mulder could say. "We'll talk about that later." He did not want to ruin this moment. He looked over at Ricky and how he was holding Lucy so close and looking into her eyes and singing those lovely and romantic words to her. He stopped dancing and looked Scully in the eyes.

"Mulder, what's the matter?" she asked. Mulder couldn't take it anymore, so he gently bent his head down and kissed her.

"Oh, Ricky, look! I just knew they belonged together! I'm so happy! Another match made in Heaven!" Lucy said as she kissed Ricky once again.

THE LOVE IS OUT THERE!

PLEASE SEND FEEDBACK~!!!!! OR LUCY IS GOING TO START BAWLING!



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