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A Day In The Life

That Guy was waiting for them as they stepped out of the apartment. His car, parked haphazardly across the sidewalk, was thickly covered in mud halfway up the doors and it was rapidly drying to the consistency of concrete on this already hot morning.
"Oh no..." Scully groaned.
"What's the matter?", Shturmie asked, concerned at the tone of dread in her voice. He turned, following her gaze.
"It's him", she said flatly.
"Oh brother. Now what?". He could been asking so many things with this question.
The passenger window rolled down with a smooth electric whirring sound and she could see That Guy's head protruding from the car as he called out.
"Come on you guys, hurry up!" he said loudly.
Shturmie sighed. "I guess we should go see what he wants" he said in a now-familiar tone of resignation.
"No, let's just ignore him. Maybe he'll go away". She was kidding, but neither of them laughed. They both knew he would never leave.
The morning sun was bright and warm, and Scully and Shturmie shaded their eyes from it as they walked down the short flight of steps to the car. It was going to be a beautiful day. It was already a beautiful day. The scent of flowers wafted deliciously through the air and the joyful shrieks and laughter of children could be heard as they played in a small park nearby.
"What do you want That Guy?" she asked.
Being petite, she didn't have to stoop far to see into the car. From the mess, It was obvious he'd slept in it overnight. She didn't even want to know why.
"Your opinion on something" he said jauntily as he shoved the sports section of a two-day-old paper off his lap and climbed out of the vehicle. His clothes were wrinkled and he looked like hell, as he blinked rapidly several times in the bright sunlight.
"Hi Shturm, how's it going?" he asked.
"Hey Agent That Guy. Fine I guess. We were just on our way to get breakfast". Emphasis on 'were' Shturmie thought glumly to himself.
"Great, I'm starved," he said enthusiastically, "I finished all the Oreos yesterday evening and haven't eaten today!". The cookie crumbs were still on his tie. He absent-mindedly brushed them off.
"Well, actually That Guy", Scully said firmly, "we we're planning on a nice private breakfast. You know, just the two of us? Me and Shturmie?". And not you, you idiotic, over-grown schoolboy.
She scolded herself for this thought. He had no-one else. She felt pity for him, even though he was such a pain in the butt. After all these years together, all the trials and tribulations, she couldn't help feeling some affection for him. But his relentless attacks on her efforts to make time for herself and Shturmie sometimes ground her nerves to shreds. As a result, she was sometimes a little curt with him. Like now.
Nevertheless, he looked completely unabashed.
"Oh come on! You'll love what I got! It's right up your alley. Have you ever heard of the Loch Ness monster?". He was grinning like a kid that had The Worlds Coolest Secret and was just dying to share it with someone.
"No, what's that?" Shturmie asked with feigned innocence. This should be good, he thought to himself. He glanced at Scully. She was trying to hide a smirk.
That Guy looked non-plussed for a moment. He was capable of the most comically inane expressions.
"You're kidding, right? You've never heard of the Loch Ness monster? Get outta here!". He looked from Shturmie to Scully then back again.
"Please don't provoke him Shturmie, honey", sighed Scully. "You know he has a tough time with your brand of humor."
Great, she thought. What a day this was going to be. Maybe if we ran... No, That Guy was pretty fast. He'd catch her in a second, she knew.
"Hah! I knew he was kidding" said That Guy, but he looked relieved. "I have the proof you guys, actual, undeniable evidence of the existence of a prehistoric mammal inhabiting the lake, and I want you to take a look at it."
A woman pushing a baby carriage walked by on the other side of the street and two small children clattered happily past her in the opposite direction. Normal Lives, thought Scully. One day, she knew, she and Shturmie would have their own children to play with, but for now they would have to humor this one.
"What kind of evidence That Guy?" she asked politely. Scully was not even remotely interested, but he was going to tell her anyway, she knew. Shturmie was beginning to look most unimpressed she noted.
"I'll tell you over breakfast! It's great stuff!" He was positively beaming. "Get in" he said, as he settled himself behind the wheel once more.
Scully looked at Shturmie. She should have just curled up in his big strong arms again and gone back to sleep this morning, then they wouldn't be in this situation. The thought brought all the memories of the previous night flooding back upon her again. It was all so perfect. It was always perfect. The passion, the tenderness, the excitement. Shturmie was the ultimate lover...
Her gentle reveries were rudely shattered by That Guy. "Hey, hurry up, times a-wastin'! Get in the car you two!"
"Well?" asked Shturmie. "Shall I kill him or do you want to do it?" He couldn't help but be a little amused though. He sincerely believed that Agent That Guy would make a fine comedian one day. An annoying comedian, but he'd still make people laugh, one way or another.
"Oh God!" exclaimed Scully as she reached for the door handle. Small birds twittered amongst the branches of the trees above her head and from somewhere nearby the smell of frying bacon teased her senses. This was not a day to be wasted. She thought of all those other days squandered in darkened labs and dusty offices. All those priceless, irretrievable moments of joyous life that had passed her by. Too many moments.
Suddenly and thrillingly her mind was made up.
"Sorry That Guy, you're on your own with Nessie. Shturmie and I have a date."
She firmly closed the passenger door again and walked over to Shturmie. He took her arm in his own and they walked off together down the leafy street, in search of a good breakfast. It really was a beautiful day.

Copyright Shturmovik[KGB]

1999

scullysland@yahoo.com

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