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Darkness Falls

One night, in an office at Ten Thirteen Productions...

Frank: "Full House!"

John: "Again? How the hell can you have another Full House? Are you fucking cheating?"

Frank: "Screw you, Shiban! No need to be a sore loser!"

Rob: "But another Full House? That's three tonight, already! Show me your goddam hand again!"

Frank: "Read 'em an weep, boys!"

Kim: "Isn't that what the critics said about your last few screenplays?"

Frank: "Oh, ha ha! Look out, Seinfeld, here comes Manners."

Kim: "Seinfeld is lame. Jon Stewart, on the other hand - now there's a funny guy!"

Rob: "Oh yeah, I never miss The Daily Show! Did you ever see-?"

Vince: "Hey, guys, you have to come see this!"

Frank: "Vince, I'm dealing here! Are you in, or what?"

Vince: "The hell with that, you have to see this!"

Kim: "See what?"

Vince: "It's Chris!"

John: "I've seen him, he's ugly. Deal the damn cards, Spotnitz!"

Frank: "I thought he left ages ago?"

Vince: "So did I, but he's in his office!"

Rob: "So? Whoopdeeshit Gilligan, he's- Jezuss Frank, how many times do I have to tell you, don't deal them like that! You bend the corners up!"

Kim: "That's a classic fucking cheat. It's no wonder you're President."

Vince: "But he's crying!"

Rob: "Huh?"

Frank: "What, Chris? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Vince: "No, seriously, he's weeping like a baby!"

Kim: "Bullshit!"

Vince: "Straight up, I swear to God!"

[They look at each other for a moment, then scramble from the table. Soon...]

Rob: "Christ almighty! He is crying! I never thought I'd see the day!"

John: "I don't know - you guys remember when the reviews of Space came out? I swear, I thought he was going to fucking die that time..."

Frank: "Man, this is sad. I can't look at this."

Rob: "So, let's go back to the game!"

John: "Fuck, has anybody ever told you that you're an insensitive pig, Bowman?"

Rob: "Only my mom. Fuck you, Shiban, let's go play poker!"

John: "I'm going to go talk to him."

Vince: "You think we should? Maybe it'll just embarrass him."

Frank: "Hey, this is the guy who wrote Space! Nothing embarrasses him."

John: "Come on."

[They knock on Chris's door...]

Frank: "Hey big guy, what's up?"

John: "Listen, Chris, don't worry about it, OK? So, it's over? There'll be plenty of other shows! I bet you'll do something even better than the 'Files! Wait and see!'

Vince: "Sure, man! You've a ton of good shit left in you! Look at those stories you wouldn't shoot because FOX told you to cut out the juicy bits! Just find a Network that'll cut you some slack, and you'll be away laughing!"

Frank: "Jeez, I don't know, Vinnie. A Network that lets you get away with more than FOX? Even HBO can't believe some of the shit that gets aired on FOX...! I'm surprised the FCC doesn't just have a guy in Rupert Murdoch's office all the time."

Rob: "Shut up, Frank! But they're right, you know? We've got all these new concepts to work on. Christ, you've dumped enough shit on my desk recently! I thought you were all fired up about those!"

Chris: "No, you guys just don't understand-!"

John: "Sure we do! This has been a life, man! The X-Files isn't just another TV show! Hey, we know that! We've been through it all with you, every step of the way!

Vince: "Chris, you've given us all a life and a future! You've bought joy and excitement into the lives of millions! This show was one of the most influential ever, period! shit, even if you decided to retire, you'll always be revered as the guy who created The X-Files! Even those dumbass whiners on the 'net can't take that away from you, not ever!"

Rob: "Yeah man! And you let me direct 'Future! I mean, that was a gift! I'll be grateful to you for that from the bottom of my heart until the day I die. Man, it was The X-Files movie! And we're going to do more! Come on, buck up! Think of the movies!"

Frank: "He's right. The X-Files still lives! It'll live until we say it's time for it to die!"

John: "No, it'll outlive us, all of us, even you, Chris! I know we've had our tough times through the years, and we haven't always seen eye-to-eye on everything. But, hell, even Duchovny knows where you were coming from. It's been a fucking hypersonic blast, man, from beginning to end!"

Rob: "Come on, dude. Let's get the fuck out of this dump and go get shit-faced. My treat."

Frank: "Damn, that sounds good!"

Chris: "No, we can't-"

Kim: "Sure we can! Let's just turn out the lights and walk out that door, right now!"

John: "God, Chris, we've had an amazing run! We love you like a brother, dude, but we all knew it had to end sometime. I thought you were keener than anybody to wrap it up?"

Frank: "Me too! Look, nothing is worth weeping this much about! Perk up! Let's go!"

Chris: "I'm telling you, we can't!"

Kim: "Why the hell not?"

Chris: "Take a look out the window..."

[They move to the glass and peer out. The street is on fire...]

Frank: "What the fuck?

Chris: "It's the fans. I tried leaving an hour ago, but they threw rocks at me. They've blocked all the exits! You think I'm crying over a fucking stupid TV show, for Christ's sake? Jezuss! The fuckers trashed my fucking Ferrari...!"

Copyright Shturmovik[KGB]

2002

duane_barry@altavista.net