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Root Of All Evil

Meanwhile, at FOX headquarters...

Gail: "Yes?"

PA: "Ms Berman, that conference call is ready."

Gail: "Fine."

[She punches a button on the 'phone]

Gail: "Gail Berman."

Chris: "Hi Gail, it's Chris Carter here. How are you?"

Gail: "Fine. How can I help you, Chris?"

Chris: "Um, well, this is going to sound kind of silly, but some of the guys feel that we should check it out, and, uh, well..."

Gail: "Yes?"

Chris: "Well, you see, somebody has suggested that you guys are - I mean, FOX - are only really interested in The X-Files for, well..."

Gail: "Mr Carter, I'm sorry, but I'm rather busy-"

Frank: "He's trying to say that you guys only give a shit about profit!"

Chris: "Jeezuss, Frank, you said you'd let me handle the talking!"

Gail: "Who was that?"

Frank: "Frank Spotnitz, President of Ten Thirteen! The guys you're milking dry!"

Gail: "Ah, Frank, how nice. What's your point?"

Rob: "You're milking us dry, that's the goddam point! Ow! What'd you do that for?"

Chris: "Shut the hell up!"

Gail: "Me?"

Chris: "No! No! Sorry, I was talking to my colleague."

Gail: "Mr Carter, I'm afraid I don't have time for this-"

Frank: "Yeah, I guess you have to go and suck the blood out of some old lady-"

Chris: "Shuttup!

Vince: "Tell her we think our margin sucks!"

Chris: "You guys shut up! Let me handle this! Jeez! Can you please reassure these guys that you are as dedicated to ensuring that The X-Files remains a quality drama as we are, so's I don't have to listen to them whine anymore?"

[Silence]

Chris: "Hello, Gail, are you there?"

Gail: "Yes. Was that question directed at me?"

Chris: "Well, yeah..."

[She laughs]

Chris: "Hello...?"

Gail: "Mr Carter, I don't have time for jokes."

Vince: "What jokes?"

Frank: "See, I told you she was a fucking moron!"

Chris: "Shuttup! Uh, Gail, I don't understand? I mean, you guys are committed to keeping the show good, above all else, right?"

Gail: "I'm hanging up now, Chris."

Chris: "Wait! Are you telling us that it's true?"

Gail: "Is what true, Mr Carter?"

Rob: "Hey, don't play games with us, you fucking dragon bitch! Owww, knock it off!"

Chris: "Listen, Gail, we here at Ten Thirteen Productions pour our hearts and souls into that show! We work 25 hours a day to make sure that it's the best it can possibly be and we demand assurance that FOX is going to do their part to see that it stays number one! We don't need to be sold short just to maximize a corporate bottom-line, not when we work so hard..."

[He is drowned out by a blaring public address system and a roaring crowd]

Gail: "Mr Carter, are you at the track?"

Chris: "Uh...no... We just have the TV turned way up..."

John: "Woohoo! Hey you guys, I just won $50!"

Gail: "Good day, Mr Carter."

[She hangs up]

Gail: "Why the hell didn't I take that job with PBS...?"

Copyright Shturmovik[KGB]

2002

duane_barry@altavista.net