MORPHINE'S MAYHAM
by B. Bouffaunt-Froux
Is Barf Bag Baby back!?!?! Back OH! MY!. All chatters are a-tremble. Why? Because Manic Morphine (it is rumoured) is in the chatrooms again. What is she up to? Who is she preying upon? What form will she take this time?....Remember, no one has seen this supposed woman in person. Ominous isn't it.
Beware of the following suspects who in the ahem.....Elite Regulars' expert opinions are nasty girls that fit the Morphine Profile. Be very cautious chatters and remember...All suspects are "guilty until proven innocent"
1. Cuddly Dumbbum, a.k.a. "The Brow". There has been some claim as to her being Groucho Marx's illegitimate niece, hence the nickname. I can see it. This woman gives the term Bubble-Headed Bimbo a whole new definition along with with her acid tongue spitting venom. She is also the Big O(rifice)'s fav moronic moderator of the chatroom.
Kaerri, She is the only known offspring of the infamous Ilsa the Shewolf (Nazi concentration camp torturer). She claims to be half-Japanese and half Mongol. I say 100% mongrel nasty bitch. This mutt is a self-proclaimed Marxist whose slogan is "NO power to the little people - enslave the fuckers instead" Watch out girl! Every cur has its day.
3. Pillbox,seen here with her "familiar" and look-alike Tofu. She's a washed out woe begotten Wiccan...and more. She's also a hissing, spitting, clawing furball. Apparently she casts spells on chatters ...turns them into Newts or something...Oh wait...Thats just like Morphine! She's anti-male (too much testosterone maybe?). Check out her pic...maybe she's a she-male. Ring any bells?
Remember what MacBeth said..."Toil and Trouble, bubble and squeek"..oh nevermind...just watch your back.
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HERE TODAY GOTH TOMORROW
by Clive Beetlebox
Well, well, WELL. Look who the bat dragged in! It's Ron! I think?....and he's flaunting a new lady(?)love, Grovelling Gertie the Goth Goddess. This would explain his dashing new look. *LOL*
The gruesome twosome have been spotted slinking along darkened streets, Ninja-style with Fartslayer and Swinecutter, searching for fellow losers, goth geeks, cretins etc., to crawl around the graveyard, wallowing in misery; "woe is me, alas and alack" in typical goth style.
Ron's new look and girl(?)friend may not last too long (pity). A gang of
neer-do-wells tend to set upon the depressed duo every time they creep out from under their rock. Said hooligans strip them of their goth finery, dress them in colourful Hawaiian mummus, tie them to a merry-go-round in the local fun park and force them to listen to Barvarian Yodelling. The heartless thugs.
Does this lifestyle suit Ron? Let's look at the facts. The bone-in-the-nose piercing, the dangly earring in his bald spot and even the rather comical purple spike hairdo are a fashion plus for him. On the other hand....I just don't see Ron as the out-doorsey type. You know...all that not-in-front-of-the-computer stuff, like the unavoidable fresh air and exercise junk so badly needed for one of the traditional Goth activities such as Gravestone Grouchfests of gloom and doom
Ooops, I almost forgot, if you really really think you need a peek at the
perverted pair - its your funeral. Click here.
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To Submit your stories , gossip or comments click here
BABETTE'S BUZZLINE
Juicy Tidbits from JFF brought to you by
Babette Bouffount-Froux
Bonjour les chatters. Oooh...but Babette has missed all of you!! (Kiss Kiss!!) or maybe it was just the Gos (ha ha)..well anyway...
Have you heard we have a real live "crackpot, tosspot stalker" in our midst? YES!! It's true...Jackie has been officially arrested by the police for stalking Gaz!! It's about time or way overdue - years overdue. But seriously Gaz, I doubt Jackie can read the Restraining Order (she certainly can't spell).
So....now this is for Gaz so nobody else read this; Gasz, when you want to assure your privacy sneak over to her house and place serveral bottles of booze near the front door and poof! 12 hours of peace, at least!!...
Elsewhere....Tasslehoff and Cuddly DubBum have been arguing...About? Well, Dum_Bum thinks Tass is too old....For what? Who cares. Tass, take heart, Dumb_Bum is no spring chicken herself..In fact, word has it she is one year older than you at 34!! EEK!!!! She's ready for the bone-yard, maybe with the grusesome Goths. Well, here's a hug for you Tass...OH? You're very cuddly..ooops..don't tell Clive
OH, I'm so sad...in a moment I shall cry. No wedding bells for my little
Luna Guppy. Ah...Ces la vie. My little guppy got caught in the internet
while Barebum chose to chum with Luna's papa in his real life visit.
But, my little guppy still has her Juice Fruity and Metaman paddling around out there somewhere....Do I hear bells or maybe just a whistle?....Luna, I await with baited breath.....
OOOHHH!! I'm all a-flutter. Chatalyst is back....well almost. Anyway its
tres bien. We all have a new home thanks to mais ami ALcard...Merci!
Send your Gossip Tidbits to Babette here
| CLASSY CLASSIFIEDS
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FOR SALE
One slightly used and abused, attractive, fluffy, inflatable, plastic lamb doll. Cheap.
Contact: Ron
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WANTED
Book of proven, original pickup lines, suitable for use in the Internet chatrooms. Most desperately needed! Now!!
Contact: Butane
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SHARE APARTMENT
Help! I need a place to stay! Will do light housework and I won't touch your computer or your MSN, I promise.
Contact: Caelis
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FOR RENT
One very slightly used empty chatroom. Only used during the wee hours by lonely insommniacs and by the occasional old lady on the way to church.
Contact: Orion
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LOST AND FIND
I've lost my Miffy. My heart is breaking. I need my Miffy Moo. Will supply Meds.
Contact: Templar
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