GOOD KNIGHT LADIES by B. Bouffant Froux Boujour chatters...but OHH!! Where am I? Is it Disney Chat?, Fantasy Chatland? It must be - we have faeries, sprites, wizards, vampires, goths, mermaids, super heros and majik makers of all types, and now!!! Be still my heart.. I'm all a-flutter. The Knights of Chatalyst are returning. This exclusive elite club is making a come back. Led by Wyldfire Knight of the Round Table (note; table is round so there is no fights about sitting at the head of the table) who is recruiting "a few good men" to join him in battle. Yes girls!! You too can join the action and become DAMES!! Ladies picture this; Dame (your name here) ventured forth on a dangerous recon mission to ferret out evil doers(?). Then...armed with names and misdeeds of said evil doers(?) you return triumphant to your knight in shining armour, so he may ride out to battle the evil doers(?) and rid Chatalyst of them forever! (well, a little while anyway). Wow... isn't that exciting? Just apply to Lady Ari, the well known, long time lady-in-waiting to the original Chatalyst Knights. This reporter would like to welcome the Knights back with a "BOTCR" set of Action Figurines for a room-warming present. TALLY-HO!

FROM MIDDLE EARTH TO MIDDLE CHAT by Clive Beetlebox You have all heard of "Lord of the Rings", well here is the sequel - Bored of the Chat Rings. The fabulous new movie starring our own Ronnie in ALL the roles. The story follows a bored Dildo Buggers who is on a quest searching for repulsive Rollum. Why? The chatroom is boring! Only Rollum can whip those hum-drum chatters up and get some action going. Dildo meets many strange chatters on his journey but he must not dally he has to find Rollum!! Exciting news!! Digital Chicken has unearthed this rare artifact from the movie. Its an original "Dork Warrior" table lighter. When you hit it on the head flames shoot out of its mouth. Its a trifle dangerous but it does double as a blow torch. Notice how the artist of this piece caught Ron in a rare smile - or maybe he's drunk, its hard to tell. This priceless relic will be auctioned off on the EBay site soon. For those interested, the O'Shady and O'Shoddy Bros Toy Company has issued Middle Chat collectible action Figurines. Click on the BOTCR Title below for more Ronnie figurines.

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BABETTE'S BUZZLINE Juicy Tidbits from JFF brought to you by Babette Bouffount-Froux Well, its that time again. Summer is windidng down. But I just know that everyone has been busy frolicking in the sun and making merry - what fun!! Now back in the chat room....I see Lord Armpit is making merry with Shapeless, now that sounds like fun. For those not in the know Shapeless is Silver Tarnish's sister, but don't hold that against her. Now that these two cute kids are an item, I see vision of a double "woodsy-Woodland wedding. "Sister's are forever", afterall. WARNING!!! This is for all you young men out there. AmyCryMeARiver is prowling around for any available young tom cats, using a new name (cant you believe it) Pussy Cat! Last I heard she was still 47 and not getting any younger. So watch your back boys or she'll sink her claws into you. Also.....Juiced-up Janey, or Tipsey Topaz is STILL staggering after GAS. Well, it at first you don't succeed, keep trying till we all throw up. But seriously, isn't it about time to weave your way through the driver's test again!?!?!? Remember...If at first..... Send your Gossip Tidbits to Babette here

FIRST RUN FAIRY TALES This is for all the JFF chatters - see your own stories in print and read your friends tall tales Here's a song from our old friend and faithful contributor Mystic Songwriter: Wang-Bang Ronnie, Sung to the Tune of Bang-Bang Lulu,(Classic Military Shant.) Wang bang Ronnie, Ronnie's a closet gay. Who're we gonna take shots at If Rogaine goes away? Rogaine had a boyfriend, his boyfriend had a truck, Ronnie liked to shift the gears, his boyfriend liked to fuck... Wang bang Ronnie, Ronnie's a closet gay. Who're we gonna take shots at If Rogaine goes away? Some people work in factories, Some people work in stores, Ronnie wanks in yahoo, hitting on fourty-something whores.. Wang bang Ronnie, Ronnie's a closet gay. Who're we gonna take shots at If Rogaine goes away? Some girls like 'em fat, Some girls like 'em thin, Ronnie's in the kitchen greasing up a rollin pin! Ronnie had a boyfriend, known for miles around, All the girls went after him when he came into town. Rogaine got real nervous, Rogaine got real sick, Then he almost fainted when he saw his twelve-inch prick! Wang bang Ronnie, Ronnie's a closet gay. Who're we gonna take shots at If Rogaine goes away? Ronnie made some porridge, It was very thick, Rogaine wouldn't eat it, But he'd smear it on his dick! Wang bang Ronnie, Ronnie's a closet gay. Who're we gonna take shots at If Rogaine goes away? I am thankfull I am not the plastic ring On Ronnie's pasty hand, Cause E'ery time he'd scratch his arse, I'd suffer the nasty land! Wang bang Ronnie, Ronnie's a closet gay. Who're we gonna take shots at If Rogaine goes away? Ronnie had a turtle, her boyfriend had a duck, They put them in the bathtub to see if they would fuck.. Wang bang Ronnie, Ronnie's a closet gay. Who're we gonna take shots at If Rogaine goes away? Rogaine had a brother, his name was Tiny Tim, He jumped into the river to see if he could swim. He started to go downstream, he headed toward the falls, Ronnie jumped to save him and grabbed him by the balls.. OH! Who're we gonna take shots at, ifffffffffffffffff...... Rogaine goes away?

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