Run (I Miss You)
by Mel and Nora

Notes: - Contains the lyrics of the song "I Miss You" taken from Incubus's album "Make Yourself".

Sendoh ran out of his house clutching onto what was probably the last 'thing' he would have of Hanamichi's. His thoughts were only that of wanting to not let Hanamichi go. He only had that red headed boy on his mind and he didn't know where to run to. Albeit that all, he kept pushing himself forward, directionless but moving on. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and stinging his eyes. Breathing and choking back his sobs were already a big problem but running and not knowing where to go was making his effort seem and feel pointless. Sendoh stopped finally when he reached the intersection, he has to make up his mind, Koshino's or Youhei's house. No, Sendoh chose to go forward.

The pedestrian light changed from blazing red to a zealous green and Sendoh sped forward pushing past people. He had to stop Hanamichi from making the biggest mistake in his life.

***

Hanamichi blew his nose loudly, ignoring the awkward glances from a few women who were seated opposite of him. He smiled at the small grinning face he held in his hand. It was a Purikura he and Sendoh took just before the latter left when they went to a local fair in downtown Kanagawa. Just before Sendoh walked out of the door and out of his life. Hanamichi ran his finger across Sendoh's picture and another tear rolled down his cheek. He did not bother to brush it off this time as he was not going to be bothered by his own public show of self-humiliation. At least not now. The pain in his chest seem to burn more now that Sendoh is far but he knew he had to do what he thought was the best thing. He did not agree with his decision but that's the way of life, the worst and saddest choice was always the right choice. Hanamichi let out a sob and it startled the little girl next to him who quickly left, running to her mother across the park.
Hanamichi clamped a balled fist over his mouth, slightly pushing it in to stop his sudden urgency to cry. He squeezed his eyes shut as if it would take his mind of what was happening, even for a moment.

He can't live without Sendoh. That much he knew and will forever know.

***

"Please...let me cross the bridge...it's important I get to the intersection immediately," Sendoh was pleading to the officer, tugging at the older man's sleeve.

"I'm sorry sonny. No can do, the rules are the rules. Nobody crosses after 5," the policeman pulled his sleeve from Sendoh.

"Kuso," Sendoh cursed under his breath as he threw a last glance at the back of the retreating policeman. He looked at his watch and began to contemplate what to do next. There was still 5 minutes to go before the next ship comes. Measuring the distance between himself and the other side of the bridge, Sendoh firmly made up his mind. It's now or never Akira, he thought to himself and broke into a run, pushing aside the people standing in his path and leaping over the fence as a runner would over hurdles.

"Eh?? Hey, boy! I told you that you can't cross now! Hey!" The policeman stared dumbfoundedly at Sendoh as the tall boy managed to squeeze himself out of his firm grasp, taking him completely by surprise. His senses quickly came back to him as he realized what Sendoh was attempting, he blew his whistle as loudly as he could and shouted, "Get your ass back here boy, the ship's coming!"

"Huh?" Sendoh was almost thrown off his feet as the drawbridge suddenly gave a jerk and began to ascend upwards to let the forthcoming ship pass. Shit, he thought to himself but he had to get to the other side now or it will be too late. He eyed the distance and saw that the gap had become much larger now and any sane person wouldn't even dare to think of what he was about to execute. Swallowing his courage, Sendoh mentally motivated himself as he felt adrenaline pumping into his legs again.
Okay, this is just like slam dunking from the 3-pointer line. If Hanamichi can do it then so can I.
And he leapt.

Screams of horror pierced through the crowd as they saw a boy soaring from one end of the drawbridge to the other.
"He's fucking crazy man!"
"Oh, shit I can't believe I'm seeing this!"
"Somebody stop him, he's going to die!"
"Shut up ya'll, can't you see that he's gonna..."
"Hey, look he made it, he actually made it!"
"What???!"

True, as they squinted to see the daredevil, a figure was seen teetering madly at the edge of the ascending bridge hanging on to dear life as he scrambled over to safety. A collective sighs of gratefulness(?) escaped the crowd and some even started to clap their hands.
"Did you see that? I never saw anyone jumped that far before!"
"You idiot, don't you know who he is? That's Akira Sendoh, the greatest basketball player from Ryonan High! And I bet that was the best jump I've ever seen him do in his entire basketball career."
"Really? Heheh, and I thought he was suicidal maniac. Well, it'll be a great shame if he died."
"Ah, and why's that?"
"Well, he's cute."

Oblivious to the havoc that he had created, Sendoh was momentarily apprehended, his heart pounding wildly from his recent attempt at flying. When the fact that he was still alive finally registered in his troubled mind, Sendoh quickly got up to his feet and started to run as in his mind he can only picture Hanamichi's face.
I have to get to him, fast!

*FLASHBACK*

Ring...ring...

"Hello?"
"..."
"Hello? Who's there?"
"..."
"Look, I don't have the time to play booty call with you so if you don't have anything else to say you low-life, motherfu..."
"...Sendoh?"

Who's this? Sendoh stopped in the middle of his diatribe as he tried to recognize the voice at the other end of the line. That monotonous voice was vaguely familiar. Could it be...
"Rukawa?"

"It's good to know that you still recognize my voice."
"Hey, what's up? This is a surprise. Usually you don't even talk that much, I guess it's different now that you're on the phone eh?"
"I'm not calling for idle chats."
"Really? So, what's up?" Cradling the mobile phone between his head and his left shoulder, Sendoh went to the kitchen as he stirred himself a mug of hot coffee.

"What did you do to Hanamichi?" Rukawa blurted, getting straight to the point.
Sendoh paused in the middle of his act before replying, "What I did or didn't do is really none of your business Rukawa."

"..., I just saw Hanamichi today."
"Oh, so you did huh?"
"Dammit, stop being so nonchalant Sendoh!" Rukawa finally burst out, taking Sendoh by surprise.
"Oh, that's a real big word coming from you." Sendoh retorted, unwilling to take on this sudden assault from the normally emotionless Rukawa.

"Look, I'm not in the mood of taking any crap from you so just shut up and listen. I saw Hanamichi today and he was...," Rukawa paused as if his sudden outburst had finally reminded him of his highly uncharacteristic behaviour.

"Yeah, you already told me that. So what else is new?"
"Must you make this so difficult?"
"Only if you want it to be," Sendoh replied.
"Fuck you."
"Anytime sweetie."
"..."

"Listen here Rukawa, I appreciate your...uhm, generous 'offer' but I really am not in the mood right now. I just had a rough day and~"
"He was...distraught."
"What?"
"Distraught! Hanamichi, I saw him crying at the park. Dammit, and he won't even talk to me about it. He didn't even call me a 'baka kitsune'. He just looked at me with this...this broken look in his eyes and just...just ran away," Rukawa spoke softly. "Oh, but I know exactly why he cried. It's because of you."

"Uh...I, no way. How'd you know it was me? It could've been anybody," Sendoh shook his head, unwilling to believe Rukawa's heart piercing words.
It could even be you.
And Sendoh felt a stab of jealousy ate his heart but he quickly toss that thought away.

"It was you alright. He was holding that stupid sticker picture thing of your stupid self in his hands." Rukawa snorted in disgust.

"Wha...what? The purikura?" That stunning revelation again took Sendoh completely by surprise that he missed Rukawa's insult on his intelligence.

"Whatever."
"That still doesn't prove anything."

Rukawa let out a long resigned sigh before speaking again. "Look, what I'm trying to say is you'll never know what Hanamichi might do to himself in times like these."

"...why do you care so much about him? Are you still in love with him?" Sendoh said accusingly, his hands balling into a fist as another wave of jealousy surged uncontrollably within him.

There was a pause at the end of the line before Rukawa replied.
"What I did and didn't is really none of your business Sendoh," he said, throwing Sendoh's previous words back at him.

"ARE YOU?" Sendoh found himself shouting into the phone, so great was his jealousy that he trembled, spilling the coffee forgotten in his hands onto the smooth tiled kitchen floor.

"I was. Or maybe I still do, I don't know!" The normally poised Rukawa hissed.
"I knew it. I was right all along. That little cheater...," Sendoh bit out in disgust and hurled the mug at the already marred floor, the glass splintered into tiny little pieces.

"Listen to me, Sendoh. I'm the one who still love him but I know now that it is one-sided because in his heart there is only YOU." Rukawa paused again before muttering softly, "That do'aho."
"..."
"It's true. I knew him well, Sendoh. He's over me, don't you get it?"
"Bullshit."

Rukawa sighed again at the latter's stubbornness but nevertheless he pressed on.
"It was all my fault, I'm the one who broke his heart, his spirit in the first place. I'm the one who left him..."
"... Listen here Rukawa. Let me make this clear again. I really DON'T have the time to listen to your sappy love stories and most of all not when it involves MY Hanamichi-" Sendoh said in a poisonous tone but he was quickly cut off by Rukawa.

"Idiot, listen to me! Do you have any idea why he was admitted to the hospital right after I broke up with him?"
"No. I guess he caught a bout of flu?" Sendoh answered sceptically.
Gritting his teeth, Rukawa hissed into the receiver, "He was admitted because he had slit his wrist open. He tried to kill himself!"

It took a long time for the word suicide to register into his mind but it finally did Sendoh's knees suddenly grew weak and he found himself sliding to the floor, gripping the phone in his hands as if holding on for dear life, his heart slamming against his chest.
No, he mouthed.

"I can never forgive myself for what I did to him but you...you listen to me carefully Sendoh," Rukawa's soft voice dripped with icicles and Sendoh felt a sudden chill creep up his spine.
"If anything bad happens to Hanamichi, I'll kill you."

Click.

"Oh, my God. Hanamichi!"

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Rukawa's words came rushing back to him as Sendoh pushed himself forward, all the while glancing at his watch, timing the distance between his current location and Hanamichi's apartment. Suicide? No, never would he think that Hanamichi was capable of doing something as outrageous as that. But Rukawa would never tell a lie. It's just not in his nature to do so. So lost in his thoughts was Sendoh in that he just ran ahead without thinking, his mind and heart was only set to see Hanamichi alive and animated in his arms again when a loud honk and a sudden screech of tyres snapped him out of his thoughts.

He looked up and stood stock still as he saw a large truck coming his way...

***

Unlocking the door of his apartment, Hanamichi reached down to remove his footwear and despite himself, he called out, knowing that nobody will answer him.
"Tadaima."

Silence.

His heart sank and the tears that he had valiantly tried to suppress once again slid down his face. Furious with his inability to control his emotions over this one guy, Hanamichi resorted to his old way of relieving stress and banged his head as hard as he could against the white painted concrete wall.
Damn, he was so numb with sadness that he couldn't even feel the throbbing pain that should be assailing him. Tossing his sneakers away, he threw himself onto the couch, not even bothering to shut the door as he closed his eyes as tightly as he could, wanting to shut the whole world away from him.

Minutes passed by and Hanamichi awoke with a jolt as he realized that he had fallen asleep. His stomach groaned in protest, indicating that he should at least be getting some nutrition into his system which by the way had been subjected to 2 days' worth of fasting.
Forcing himself to get up, Hanamichi slouched into the kitchen as he turned on the electric kettle and made himself a cup of instant ramen. He poured himself a cup of coke he managed to scavenge from the refrigerator and carried his sorry meal to the living room, intending to watch some NBA action on ESPN and settled himself in front of the television.
But to his utmost disappointment, there was nothing even remotely interesting on air today and as he flipped through the channels in boredom, his gaze travelled around the living room and saw a lone object that he couldn't quite recognize resting in a dark corner, it's presence almost unnoticeable amidst the mountainous pile of junk in his apartment. Intrigued, Hanamichi left the couch and went to inspect the object and sucked in his breath in recognition.

It was a guitar.
Sendoh's guitar.

***

"ARE YOU BLIND?!"

"I'm really sorry man, I really am," Sendoh stuttered as he apologized to driver of the truck which in spite of it's massiveness had managed to defy it's own momentum and stopped in time and thus sparing Sendoh of his second trip to meet his Maker today. Ignoring the scandalized looks thrown at him by passing pedestrians, Sendoh spotted the nearest cab and frantically waved it down.
As he climbed into the cushioned seat, he reached down into his pocket to retrieve his mobile phone, intending to call Hanamichi.
When he pressed the keypad, the word "1 missed call" flashed through the screen and at once the caller's name was displayed. Sendoh quickly punched the key to "Reply" but alas, there was no net connection. Sendoh turned white and cursed under his breath.

"Where to, boy?
"Kanagawa Apartments, Sakuragi's Residence. And step on it, I need to get there now!"
"No problem."

Hanamichi, please be safe! Oh God, please keep my Hanamichi safe!

***

Hanamichi sighed in disappointment when the same robotized message was played again into his ears.
"The number you have dialed is currently busy. Please leave a voice message after the beep."

Beep!

Hanamichi sighed again as he absently dropped the receiver onto the couch, his other hand stroking the smooth wooden curvature of Sendoh's accoustic guitar. He remembered a lot of things about this instrument...about the time when Sendoh used to serenade him to sleep. The time when he stubbornly tried to learn to play the guitar in spite of Sendoh's frequent tutoring and failed. He also remembered the time when he was so frustrated with this inability of his that he had plucked one of the metal strings a bit too hard and it broke, leaving him with a bleeding finger and a smashed guitar as a result. He imagined that Sendoh would be furious with him but instead of lecturing Hanamichi for destroying one of his most prized possessions, Sendoh had tenderly taken Hanamichi's bleeding finger into his mouth and sucked it till the wound was dry...

Hanamichi was still smiling to himself as he continued to doodle with the instrument and out of nowhere, words began to form in his head and drawn to the melody he was playing, Hanamichi began to sing. A song coming from the very depth of his heart...

To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three fold utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you?

I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you.

As the last strummings of the guitar faded away, Hanamichi stared into space and closed his eyes and he felt tears spilled over the brims of his eyes yet again but this time he just let it be.

"I miss you, Akira."

Hanamichi didn't expect anybody to reply and was startled when a touch as gentle as the wings of a butterfly wiped the tears away.
"Huh?" Hanamichi was startled and opened his eyes and saw Sendoh bent on his knees, his hand held the mobile phone close to him and his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I miss you too, Hanamichi."

THE END.


2001(c) Mel and Nora