| }{ Two Of You }{ now I am told there were two of you... oh what will I do now I have to go back to that dark place... my mind cant hold onto all the pieces how do I walk in that door... how do I let them take you away how do I live to see another day I cant take anymore of this I dont believe in god anymore I have lost my faith... I can find no reason for this... two little loves lost... each of you one... all together three... mommy is so alone now... Mommy is going over the edge... and I think ill just run for it... I want it...I want it to end... I'd be so free just to die... to be with you... not in this world... then the pain would stop... I am losing my mind... my soul already spent... heaven is hell... its not a place at all... its a trick...to make us grovel to something higher, something mighty the strength that crushes & tears I can run I can jump....can fly over the edge can scream all the way down... ill be free for a few moments, a few moments of peace I will scream for you my loves Ill give my life for you I could not bring you into this world I was not allowed...it was not my choice it was the beast...he came and took you away he took you to make himself happy... do you know how much I wanted you did you know that I cared... did you here me scream when I saw you I hit the floor and begged I cried for you, I begged for you I asked for you to stay... I ragged against the powers that controlled me... my face was burning...my body tensed... no one would come near me... I was a wild animal...unleashed against forces unseen but felt close at hand... I was going to kill or I was going to die... there was nothing to fight... you were so defenseless... I wanted to fight for you... I would have died for you... I would have killed for you... I will never forget you my unborn loves.... little sparkling jewels, deep within my heart no one can take you from me there and forever you can stay... Ill always keep you safe from them... those that do not care... I was not allowed to burry you and this I will never forgive.... you should have a place to lay in the softest greenest grass... there should have been a tree to shade you from the summer sun... where birds alight to sweetly sing of your mothers immortal love~ they would not let me have you... so I kept you in my heart... no one can hurt you there... I cherish your little hearts my dears... and love your unsung souls... for in me they sing...in me they are loved... no matter that you did not walk this earth... you shall walk within my heart little ones... Ill think of you there, I will remember you both I will find peace for us... I will search to the ends of the earth... each of you one... together we are three... somehow I will set us free... my dear loves and all that can never be... |
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