--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~~~"The Pursuit of Akane"
~~~~An MST by Els-chan

~~~Featuring:
~~~Xelloss Metallium
~~~Firia Ul Copt
~~~Duo Maxwell
~~~Heero Yuy
~~~Relena Peacecraft (mustdiemustdiemustdie........)
~~~J-chan/-kun (Els-chan's fiancee)
~~~Ameria Wil Tesla Seyruun


~~~Disclaimer: The only character I own is Els-chan. That's it. J-kun/-chan belongs to a friend of mine and all the others belong to their own respective creators. Therefore, you have no grounds for suing me. So there. :P Besides, even if you did sue me, you wouldn't get much out of the deal, unless you really want my.... *counts her change* 69 cents....whoa, that worked out pretty nice, there....heheheh...ANYWAY, on with the fic.

~~~WARNING: ok, let's see here.....we got Heero and Duo making out....sexual innuendos up the wazoo....plenty of Relena bashing (Hooray!).....random stupidity......thieving of props from other anime (DAMN YOU XELLOSS!!!).....some less-than-appropriate language for the yung'uns (Oh, who am I kidding...once you reach the fifth grade, you know 'em all).......severe beatings of a certain unnamed mazoku (duh, wonder who dat could be...)........well, you get the idea. If any of this stuff offends you, don't read it. If you read this, then don't flame me 'cause I warned you about it, and that would just show you to be an idiot. 



~~~(We find our reviewers gathered in a rather cramped theatre. Not surprisingly, Els-chan is glomped 
~~~onto J-kun as she speaks)

~~~Els-chan : AHEM!!! Could we quiet down PLEASE?! *everyone else in the theatre promptly shuts their 
~~~mouths* Thank you. Today, we will be reviewing a lovely fanfic...
~~~ALL: *groans*
~~~Els-chan : AHEM! ...called "The Pursuit of Akane". I'll give each of you three guesses as to what anime it's based 
~~~on. *dead silence. tumbleweed rolls by and crickets chirp*.................................Fine, then on with the fic.
~~~ALL: *groans as the lights go out*


You can view this at http://www.singnet.com.sg/~chiaty

~~~Xelloss: *sitting next to Firia* hmmmmm.......chiaty...any relation to a chastity belt? ^_^
~~~*groans from all around*
~~~Firia: That wasn't even close to being funny.
~~~Xelloss: *pouts before smiling his patented fruitcake grin again*

This story is set one year after the start of the series and
it continues from there.

~~~Duo: *turns to Heero and promptly begins poking him repeatedly until he gets the Death Glare*
~~~Heero: *through gritted teeth* What. Do. You. Want.
~~~Duo: Welllll...I wouldn't mind some candy....or soda would be nice.....*gives Heero the puppy-dog eyes* 
~~~Could you get some for me, koibito?
~~~Heero: *blushing lightly* get it yourself...

< > represents a character's thoughts.



DISCLAIMER : We have written this story out of fun. In no
way do we own the characters of this story, they belong to Takahashi
Rumiko, Shogakukan Inc, Shonen Sunday Comics, and Viz Video. 
The song 'Everything I Do (I Do It For You)' does not belong to
us. It is performed by Bryan Adams.

~~~*several moments pass before the slow-as-ever Relena finally catches on*
~~~Relena: Koibito?! What the hell are you talking about? Heero is mine, you...you...you....hentai!!! 
~~~*glomps onto Heero's arm*
~~~Heero: *pushing her off of his arm* Omae o korosu....dammit....GET THE HELL OFFA ME!!! 
~~~Duo: *sticks out his tongue* See? He doesn't like you!

The Fabulous World of Anime

Proudly Presents

A Joint Production by Cass and GSL

~~~Relena: OF COURSE HE LIKES ME, YOU GAY LITTLE FREAK!!!!
~~~Everyone else: SHUT UP!!!
~~~*Relena sinks down in her seat and pouts*

The Pursuit Of Akane

---------------------



Part 1 : Ryouga confesses

~~~Xelloss: That he secretly enjoys wearing makeup and dancing around in women's lingerie...
~~~*Els-chan, J-kun, and Duo giggle while Heero remains stoic as ever, Ameria just stares, and Firia looks 
~~~like she's struggling to hold back a giggle only because it came from the mouth of that stupid namagomi 
~~~who she has to hate and who can never be funny or even remotely amusing and...ah, you get the idea*


He gazed into her deep blue eyes and his hand rose to 

~~~Xelloss: gently tease and play with her....
~~~Firia: XELLOSS! HENTAI!
~~~Xellos: ...hair. ^_^
~~~Firia: ..........

caress her soft cheek. Akane closed her eyes and waited expectantly for
his kiss. He leaned forward as his lips brushed against hers.
Wrapping his other arm around her tiny waist, he 

~~~Duo: accidentally held her a little too tight and snapped her in half! Yay! Fic's over! Time to go home!
~~~Els-chan: *shoving the end of Duo's braid into his mouth* Dream on.

pulled her closer into their embrace as their kiss deepened.

"Nooo! How dare you force yourself onto Akane! Ranma,
Prepare To DIE!" Ryouga lunged 

~~~Duo: *begins breathing heavily*
~~~Els-chan: *looking at him funny*...ano...are you okay?
~~~Duo: Huh? Oh, yeah...I'm just practicing my "LUNG-ing" Get it? Lungs? Lunging?
~~~*groans from all around as Heero shoves Duo's braid in his mouth and duct-tapes it there*

forward and with a mighty kick, sent Ranma into outer space. 

~~~Xelloss: See? Funding for the space program is a waste...all we need to do is to just boot people hard
~~~enough to explore the universe!
~~~Firia: *grinning and pulling out Mace-sama* Does that mean you're volunteering?

He turned towards Akane and asked, "Are you all right?"

"All right! How can I be all right when you kicked my
husband into outer space!"

~~~Ameria: Ano....shouldn't that exclaimation point be a question mark? 
~~~J-kun: Which one?
~~~Ameria: Well....both of them actually....frankly, it shows a lack of intelligence on the part of the.... 
~~~Relena: Oh, be quiet? What is your problem, anyway! What kind of grammar freaks are you!
~~~J-kun: I see what you mean, Ameria...

"What! Your husband? But.... I thought you hated him."
Ryouga's face was contorted with shock and despair.

~~~Xelloss: *pulling his face and thereby contorting it*
~~~Firia: What in all hells are you doing, namagomi?
~~~Xelloss: Contorting my face. *continues his contortions until suddenly it rips*
~~~Ameria: *turns green*
~~~Relena: *turns green and faints* x.X
~~~Firia: OO;;;;; Doesn't that hurt?!
~~~Xelloss: Nah....besides... *pulls off his usual grinning face to reveal another one underneath* I always keep 
~~~a spare! ^_^
~~~Everyone except Els-chan: oO;;;
~~~Els-chan: *sighs* What have I told you about stealing Chichiri's masks, Xelloss? You are going to get me in
~~~sooo much trouble....

"Yes, at first but he was always there for me. You weren't.
Ryouga, you had gone for so long, I couldn't wait for you, I..I
couldn't."

~~~*Chichiri appears out of nowhere, thwaps Xelloss upside the head, then vanishes again*
~~~Xelloss: *rubbing his head* Thank you, Chiri-chan!!! ^_^
~~~Firia: *muttering* If I didn't know better, I'd swear he liked getting hit...

"But, Akane, I.... Love....You."

~~~Duo: *doing his best Relena impersonation* But, Heero, I....love...you.....
~~~Heero: *whipping out his gun and pointing it at the real Relena* Too bad; I hate you.

"You're too late, as usual," Akane said bitterly.

~~~Els-chan: *breaking into song* 'Cause it's too late baby, yeah, it's too late.......
~~~J-kun: *kisses her to shut her up before she deafens everyone*

"Noooooooooooooo." An anguished cry reverberated
throughout the entire forest. Ryouga sat up, his heart threatened
to leap out from his chest 

~~~Xelloss: *suddenly holding a still-beating heart in his hand* Now, now, what did I tell you about trying to escape? Get back in there....*shoves it into his chest*
~~~Everyone else: Oo;;;; eeeewwwww....

and his face was ashen white. He looked around and realized that it was all a dream. Upon this realization,
he managed to calm himself down. Akane's final words kept replaying
in his mind and he vowed never to let this dream become a reality.
He had to profess his love for Akane before it is too late. 

~~~Ameria: That should be "was", methinks.

With a determined look on his face, he got up and ran towards the direction
of the Tendo dojo (or so he thought).

~~~Duo: Instead, he ran smack-dab into a wall.
~~~J-kun and Els-chan: *sigh* Knowing him......

----------------------------------------------------------------------




6 months later.



After walking though the Sahara desert, braving past the
riots in Indonesia and wandering into the nuclear testing in India,
Ryouga finally reached the doorstep of the Tendo dojo. 

~~~Ameria: Ano...how far away does he live from this place?
~~~Els-chan: *sighs* Oh, somewhere in the same town...or the roundabout area....
~~~Ameria: oo;; But then.....why did he....
~~~J-kun: Bad sense of direction. *nod nod*

His eyes were brimming with tears of happiness. As he knocked the door,
his mind filled with images of him and Akane 

~~~Duo: gettin' it _on_!
~~~Xelloss: No, no, no....they were doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel...
~~~Firia: Hentai....
~~~Xelloss:....yes, they were investigating pyramids and swamps and.....
~~~Els-chan: -_-;; Just shut up, Xelloss.

living happily thereafter. As fate would have it, a car came by, splashing water onto him
transforming him into a cute little black piglet known as P-chan.
(Oh, the irony of it all.) 

~~~Ameria: Actually, I really fail to see the irony.

"Oh my!" Kasumi said, as she carried P-chan into
the house. "Akane, look what I've found!" Kasumi passed the
little piglet into Akane's waiting arms. As she hugged him and
planted kisses onto the little pig, he muttered a little "Bwee"
before he fainted. 

Ranma entered the room and was fuming with anger when he
saw Akane with P-chan. 



----------------------------------------------------------------------




Later that night while everybody was asleep, a dark shadow
was creeping into Akane's room. Moving with a grace of a martial
artist, it carefully removed 

~~~Heero: all of her clothes...*wicked grin*
~~~Everyone else: *stares at him in shock*

P-chan from Akane's sleeping form. It jumped through the window into the backyard below, with P-chan
struggling in its hand. With lightning speed, it poured a kettle
of hot water onto P-chan before he could protest.

A naked Ryouga appeared and shouted, "Why did you do
that for?!"

~~~Heero: *as Ranma* Well, I thought it was kinda obvious....I certainly couldn't do anything with you 
~~~while you were a piggy.....and now, not only are you human again, you're dressed juuust right for what
~~~I've got in mind...
~~~Duo: *as Ryouga* *starry-eyed* Oh, Ranma! *clasps his hands over Heero's* I thought you'd never 
~~~make your move! *pounces on Heero and starts making out with him*
~~~Everyone else: Oo;;;;;
~~~Xelloss: Can I join in? ^_^

"An honourable martial artist would never take advantage
of a girl." 

~~~Heero: *coming up for air* A guy, however...
~~~Duo: Besides, who said I was honorable? *lip-locks Heero again*

Ranma countered as he dumped several articles
of clothing to Ryouga. 

~~~Ameria: Can you dump anything _to_ someone? I mean, isn't it usually _on_ someone?
~~~Xelloss: You know, Ameria, making fun of other people's bad grammar is very unjust...
~~~Ameria: *goes a little pale* It...it is? Oh, no!!! I've failed as a warrior of justice!!! NOOOOOOO...
~~~Firia: *thwaps Xelloss* Like you'd know anything about justice...

Ryouga frantically put on the clothes and lunged 

~~~Duo: *stops making out with Heero just long enough to do his weird breathing thing....until Heero 
~~~pulls him back again*

forward to attack Ranma shouting, " I would not be in that cursed
form if not for you!" 

Ranma, seeing the attack, leaped away to safer grounds and
launched an attack of his own. Ryouga blocked the blow and tried
to punch Ranma in the gut but Ranma wasn't there and his fist
connected with the wall.

~~~Els-chan: *as the wall* owwww!!! What'd I ever do to you, huh? Waaaaahhhhh...... 
~~~*uses this as an excuse to glomp onto J-chan*

"Stop that! Both of you are waking up the whole neighbourhood,"
as a giant mallet appeared 

~~~Ameria: It's the Hammer of Justice!!!
~~~Firia: A mace would have been far more effective......
~~~Xelloss: You mean...like...._this_ one? *reaches under Firia's skirt and produces Mace-sama*
~~~Firia: AIEEEEEEEE!!! *snatches Mace-sama back from Xelloss and begins smashing him into the ground*
~~~Xelloss: *throughout his beating* ^_^

to smash the two martial artists into pancakes. "Boys." Akane muttered as she went back to
her much-needed sleep.

~~~Duo: *having finally quit going at it wit' Heero* Y'know, Firia...I think he actually _likes_ that...
~~~Firia: Nani? *looks down at the still smiling Xelloss*.....................oh, sh*t.


----------------------------------------------------------------------




Morning has arrived and usual mayhem has started. (insert
the usual fight scene between Ranma and father, which ended with
both parties in the koi pond) Ryouga went to look for Akane and
found her in the kitchen making some sort of poisonous 'food',
which would make Kodachi proud. 

"Akane, can I have a talk with you alone after school?
We can meet in the park." Ryouga said. 

~~~Ameria: Um...so now Ryouga lives with them?.....I'm lost.....

"Well, okay," Akane nodded absently as she poured
a kilogram of flour into the luminous blue soup. 

~~~Xelloss: Hey, looks like my cooking...

"Ryouga, do you want to try some?"

"Er, why don't you give it to Ranma instead, I'm not
hungry right now." Ryouga nervously replied as he backed
away.



----------------------------------------------------------------------




While Akane and the others were in school, Ryouga hid in
a room to 

~~~J-chan: take care of business...heh heh...
~~~Duo: *grinning* with his new girlfriend Hangela, no less...heheheh....
~~~Heero: *snorts* What makes you so sure it was a _girl_?

prepare a confession of his feelings for Akane. 


"Akane, you are the apple of my eye. 
Thy infinite beauty makes the world go round. 
Thou art the air that I breathe, 
The soil that I walk on 
And the water that I quench my thirst with. 
Thou art the........"

~~~Els-chan: Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is once again time to play our favorite game of...
~~~Everyone else (except Relena, who's still unconscious and, if we're lucky, not breathing): SEXUAL 
~~~INNUENDO!!! YAY!!!!!

, Ryouga
thought as he tossed the paper away.


"I need something more natural. How about...... 

If you were the tree, I would be the woodpecker. 
If you were a flower, I would be the bee hovering around you.

~~~Duo: Damn, this guy really knows his innuendos.... 

If you were a leaf, I would be the earth that catches you
when you fall. 
If you were the earth, I would be the sun that shines on you.
If you were a flea, I would be the dog that provides a home
for you. 
If you were a rat, I would be the garbage can where you find
food. 
If you were a fly, I would be that pile of shit. 

~~~Xelloss: Awwww, how romantic!!! *turns to Firia* Would you be a pile of shit for me?
~~~Firia: No, but I will help you find a rat, you NAMAGOMI!!!

Ew, this is so disgusting. No, I have to think of a better
one." Another crumpled piece of paper joins the rest in the
trashcan. 

"How about.... 


Look into my eyes 
You will see what you mean to me. 
Search your heart 
search your soul 
And when you find me there 
You'll search no more. 
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for, 
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for." 

~~~Ameria: Funny, this sounds awfully familiar....

Ryouga broke off singing off-tune, "You know it's true,
everything I do, I do it for you. Don't tell me it's not worth
fightin' for. I can't help it, there's nothin' I want more. Ya
know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you." 


In the background, we hear dogs whining and people shouting
"SHUT UP!!!" In a brilliant moment of insight, he realized
his crooning could never compare to that of Bryan Adams and unless
he wants to be flattened by Akane's mallet, he had better write
another confession.

"Ah" inspiration hit him 

~~~ALL (except Relena): Ouch.

and he began scribbling into a piece of paper. 


"The second I saw you, I knew it was love. 
The moment I touched you, it was love. 
And after all this time, you're still the one I love.
I was once lost, always struggling in a unfamiliar territory
But you give me hope to carry on. 
On all those lonely nights when I'm lost, 
All I need to do is to think of you and I'm home. 
I always imagine us having a future together, 
A cozy house, several children and you welcoming me back from
work. 
I want to make this a reality. 
Akane, I love you." 

~~~Xelloss: Firia, I.....
~~~Firia: *blink blink* *slight blush*
~~~Xelloss: I love what you've done with your hair! ^_^
~~~Firia: *blink blink blink* Nani? *shrugs* Whatever...

Ryouga with a satisfied smile on his face, carefully folded
the paper and placed it inside his pocket. He approached Kasumi
to ask if she could lead him to the meeting place which she happily
agreed. 

~~~Ameria: And the bad grammar mazoku strikes again....
~~~Xelloss: Sure, just blame all the troubles in the world on us...
~~~Ameria: I'm sorry, Xelloss-san...
~~~Xelloss: *blink blink* What for? I was serious. Blame all the troubles on us. Really. ^_^

----------------------------------------------------------------------




The sun shone brightly and the birds were chirping merrily,
all in all, it was a peaceful afternoon in the park. Until....

~~~Xelloss: as we POOOISON the pidgeons in the park.....
~~~Ameria: Nooooo............*holds her head, trying to get that retched memory out of her mind* (1)

"Ranma, no baka!" and Ranma was seen shooting into
outer space, courtesy of Akane Airlines. 

~~~Duo: Please fasten your safety belts...oh...there aren't any.....
~~~Heero: This sounds an awful like the fore-mentioned space program.

Several moments later, Akane stormed into the park and sat down next to Ryouga. Ryouga
seeing the angry look on Akane's face, was hesitant to confess
his feelings for her yet.

~~~J-chan: Can you blame him?
~~~Els-chan: *giddy and cuddly* Nope...*snuggles into J-chan's shoulder*

Akane slowly calmed herself down, looked sweetly to Ryouga
and asked, "What do you want to talk to me about?" 

Ryouga nervously swallowed and took out his written confession
of love. He began to read, "The second I saw you--"
when suddenly, a gust of wind blew the piece of paper away. "My
paper!" he yelled as he watched the piece of paper fluttered
into a nearby pond. He turned to Akane who has an expectant look
on her face. 

~~~Heero: Don't. Touch. My. Gundam.
~~~Ameria: Ano...Heero...I don't think that's what he was talking about.

"The second I saw you...I...uh..." as he looked desperately into Akane's eyes,
trying to seek inspiration from them. 

"Yes, Ryouga? What are you trying to say?" She
asked impatiently.

Ryouga was flustered as he couldn't remember the words and
spoke the first thing that came to his mind. "The second
I saw you, I knew Ranma made you angry and I'm going to make him
pay for it." Ryouga hurriedly left the scene.

~~~Firia: *sigh* Oh, yeah....nice recovery......*shakes her head*
~~~Xelloss: *suddenly grabbing Firia's hands in his* Firia, the second I saw you, I....
~~~Firia: *blink blink* 
~~~Xelloss: I knew you were nothing more but a giant lizard. ^_^
~~~Firia: *twitches as the vein starts popping out* Na...ma...go...mi.....

"He asked me here to tell me this! I don't believe it."
She muttered to herself. 

~~~Xelloss: You know, they say talking to yourself is a bad sign...
~~~Duo: Who were you talking to, Xelloss?
~~~Xelloss: Huh? Oh, just myself... ^_^
~~~J-chan: That really wasn't funny.

----------------------------------------------------------------------




Ryouga was walking aimlessly and reproached himself. "I'm
such a coward! 

~~~Heero: I agree.
~~~Relena: @_@
~~~Duo: Ah, nice and peaceful.

I don't have to rely on a stupid piece of paper 
to confess how I feel. All I have to say is just three simple
words. If I don't, Akane might mar..ry Ranma." 

~~~Ameria: Does he have some sort of speech impediment?
~~~Firia: He does seem to stutter an awful lot, doesn't he?

He shuddered at the thought. "The next time, I swear I will tell Akane
my true feelings for her." Busy with his introspection,
he failed to notice that the sky has become dark. The sky roared

~~~Els-chan: *imitating Gourry* Roooooaaaarrrr....

as rain came pouring down, triggering his curse. 

"P-chan, what are you doing outside?" Akane exclaimed
and hugged P-chan to her bosom.

~~~Ameria: Where'd she come from? I thought he left her in the park.
~~~J-chan: *shrugs* I dunno, but I wouldn't mind being hugged to that bosom...
~~~Els-chan: Hey!

"Bwee bwee bwee," the piglet squealed (which in pig language means 
I Love You). Ryouga thought to himself that it was so easy for him to 
confess in pig form when Akane couldn't understand him. 

~~~Heero: That's because he's a coward.

"Come on, P-chan, let's go home." Akane said.



----------------------------------------------------------------------




Back in the Tendo dojo, Ranma was surrounded by his fiancees.
Shampoo was sitting on Ranma's lap and trying to feed him. "Ai
ren, come try my new recipe." Nearby, Ukyou brandished her
spatula, trying to separate both of them. "Can you please
get off me? I can feed myself." Ranma said as he tried to
push Shampoo off his lap.

~~~Duo: *blink blink*............is he gay or something?
~~~J-chan: Nah, he's just afraid to be affectionate with _any_one.
~~~Duo. Oh. Sounds kinda like Heero, huh?
~~~Ameria: -_-;; What are you talking about? You two were just going at it! 

"Ranma, no baka, why is Shampoo sitting on your lap?!"
Akane's battle aura was already raging furiously. 

~~~Heero: *as Ranma* Because she likes it here.
~~~Duo: *as Ranma* Duh, because I like having a hot chick sit on my lap! Hell, wouldn't you?
~~~All the males and J-chan: Yuuuup!

"Didn't you want to break off the engagement? So why
should you care? Besides, Shampoo has a much a better figure than
you and she is a good cook too." Ranma answered on reflex.

~~~Firia: *pulls out Mace-sama* That deserves a beating...

Shampoo smirked at Akane and turned to kiss Ranma full on
the lips. Ranma was too shocked by the kiss to notice that Ukyou's
battle aura has flared up as well. Two simultaneous battle cries
were heard "Ranma, no baka!" and "Shampoo, you
hussy!" Ukyou attacked Shampoo with her spatula, separating
Shampoo from Ranma as Akane lunged forward to attack Ranma with
her mallet. Faster than a speeding bullet, Akane's mallet smashed
repeatedly onto Ranma. "WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!" Each time
her mallet connected with Ranma's body, her fury and heartache
only increased. 

~~~Ameria: Yare, yare....violent, aren't we?
~~~Everyone else: *turns to stare at Ameria*
~~~Ameria: What?
~~~Firia: Do you know just how much like Xelloss-chan you sounded there?
~~~Els-chan: *raising an eyebrow* Xelloss-_chan_, is it?
~~~Firia: *blushing profusedly* I....I mean....
~~~Xelloss: *resting his head in Firia's lap* Awwwww.....I feel special now.....
~~~Firia: -_-;; Well, don't.......*sighs*

His words had cut her deeply, far more than that
kiss with Shampoo.  she wondered.

Her vision began to blur. Akane blinked furiously to prevent
tears from falling. 
Her vision started to go blurry again. 

~~~Duo: You go girl! Don't you let anyone see that man-whore is getting to you!
~~~J-chan: Thank you, Duo, for that lovely impersonation of a talk show audience member....

Akane ran up the stairs with P-chan in toll, leaving Ukyou
and Shampoo to pick up the pieces that was Ranma. Once in the
privacy of her room, she began sobbing. "P-chan, why can't
I have a normal fianc� instead of the stupid jerk who is
always surrounded by women. 

~~~Ameria: Again with the mis-used punctuation...

All he does is criticize my cooking
or insult me. I just want a man who loves me wholeheartedly,
to be always there. He need not be a great martial artist or a
handsome guy so as long as he treats me well." P-chan 'bwee'd
in sympathy, snuggled closer to Akane and rubbed his nose against
her leg. "Why does he always hurt me like that? Does he love
me at all? Maybe we should just call off the engagement since
we seem to quarrel all the time. Besides, all his other fiancees
are more feminine than I am, how can I ever compete? 

~~~Ameria: And that second comma in the last sentence should be a semi-colon.
~~~Xelloss: A semi-colon? *pulls out a human colon and tears it in half* You mean like this?
~~~Everyone else: Ewwwwww....

To him I'll always be a violent tomboy. Maybe I should just give up on this
'relationship', we will both be happier." With one final
sob, she curled up on the bed with P-chan and fell asleep.

~~~Ameria:....the writer really doesn't like to use semi-colons, does she?
~~~Els-chan: *looking over at Xelloss* Perhaps it's best that she doesn't....ewwww...

P-chan crawled off the bed and went in search for hot water.
He tried to find the toilet or the kitchen but found Ranma in
the dinning room instead. 

~~~Heero: If he was looking for hot water, then why would he want to find a toilet?
~~~Duo: Maybe he had to take a dump?
~~~Relena: *finally waking up* Ohhhhhh...*rubbing her head* What happened?

Without hesitating, P-chan zoomed in
to bite Ranma at his leg. "Ouch, what you do that for, you
pig boy!" Ranma tried frantically to shake P-chan off his
leg. Grabbing a nearby tea cup filled with hot tea, Ranma emptied
the contents onto P-chan. 

~~~Xelloss: *promptly beginning to fill her in* Welll...first my heart jumped out of my chest, and I had a 
~~~hell of a time trying to get it back in, then Heero and Duo started making out like there was no tomorrow...
~~~Relena: NANI?! *looks back and forth between Duo and Heero who just smirk at her* No..........they 
~~~didn't........Heero would never....
~~~Heero: Wanna bet? *pulls Duo close to him and starts making out with him all over again*
~~~Relena: OO;;; Noo! HEEEEEEERRROOOOO!!! WHY?! *runs out of the theatre, sobbing hysterically*
~~~Firia: *blinking* Hey...how'd she get out? I thought it was impossible for any of us to leave...
~~~Els-chan: Yeah, well....I got sick of her and her bitching, so I made an exception....frankly, if she didn't leave, 
~~~I was going to have to make an exception to my other rule and let Heero kill her.
~~~Heero and Duo: *stop goin' at it and pout* Awwwwwwww......
~~~Duo: You shoulda let him do it!!!

Ryouga got up and went in search for his backpack. The gods
must be smiling at him for he did not get lost to and fro. With
a familiar battle cry "Ranma, prepare to die!", Ryouga
charged at him. Ranma was not prepared for this attack and still
groggy after Akane's wallop, did not evade the attack in time.
"This is for hurting Akane," Ryouga landed blow after
blow on Ranma's chest. "How can you make her cry?" Ryouga
continued. 

"What?" Ranma yelled as he jumped away from Ryouga.
Ranma's heart sank 

~~~Xelloss: Hmmmm....*rips his heart out and drops it in a bucket of water and sees that it floats* Funny...
~~~mine doesn't sink...
~~~Everyone else: -_-;;;

on realization that Akane cried because of
him. This momentary distraction had allowed Ryouga an advantage
to punch Ranma into an unconscious state.

~~~Heero: Cheap shot.
~~~Duo: Besides, I thought we established the fact that you weren't supposed to take advantage of people.
~~~Firia: No, no, that was just girls.

Ryouga, feeling happy about defeating Ranma, went to check
on Akane. It was an improvement compared to his past attempts,
it only took him an hour to find Akane's room. He knocked on the
door and waited. Just as he was about to give up, a teary-eye
Akane opened the door and let him in. Akane smiled at Ryouga but
her eyes showed signs of despair. His heart was broken at this
sight.  he thought.
With a deep breath, he confessed, "Akane, I can't bear to
see you looking so upset. Why carry on this engagement if that
jerk, Ranma, is treating you so badly. Especially since there
is someone else who loves you with all his heart and soul. This
person has fallen in love with you from the beginning and his
passion grows stronger with each passing day. He would do anything
to protect you, for you are all that matters. Akane, you would
make that man the happiest person on earth by giving him just
one chance to prove his love." Ryouga's hand covered Akane's
as he softly continued. "Akane, that person is me. I have
loved you from afar for so long. Could you please give me a chance?
Say you would go out on a date with me." Ryouga stared beseechingly
into Akane's eyes.

~~~Duo: *coughs*

Akane was shocked and had no idea that Ryouga had felt this
way about her. 

~~~Els-chan: *turning to J-chan* Y'know, ya think she woulda caught on by now....
~~~J-chan: *shrugs* Yeah, but then again, she still doesn't know he's P-chan. 

Being in a fragile state, she was touched by his
speech 

~~~Xelloss: And wished he would touch _her_...
~~~Firia: Namagomi....

and was moved by the knowledge that someone has cared so
much about her. 
but she quickly banished the thought away before it made her sad.

~~~Ameria: But I thought she was already sad...

Maybe it's time to move on. "Yes, I would like to."
Akane replied.

 It was all Ryouga could do to restrain himself
from shouting out in joy. Finally, he was going out with Akane,
the kind, beautiful, innocent, gentle, lovely... The way he was
feeling now, he couldn't do a Shi Shi Hodakan to save his life.

Akane smiled faintly at Ryouga's silly grin. 
she wondered. "When?"

~~~Duo: Yes, you did that. It's all your fault. Bad girl.
~~~Heero: Maybe someone needs a little...punishment...
~~~Duo: ^_^ Me!!!
~~~Everyone else: oo;;

"Huh?" Ryouga blinked, waking himself out of a
daydream in which he and Akane were sitting intimately in the
park, murmuring sweet nothings. 

~~~J-chan: Y'know, they really shouldn't be getting intimate in the park...there are yung'uns about...
~~~Els-chan: But J-chan, what about the time we.....
~~~J-chan: Shhhhh! 

"I asked when is our uh... date?" asked Akane,
blushing.

"Oh...How about Sunday? We can spend the whole day
together," said Ryouga as his cheeks turned to a delightful
shade of pink.

~~~Heero: Since when was pink ever delightful?
~~~Firia: Hey! What's wrong with pink?! *whips out Mace-sama*
~~~Heero: OO;; *shuts up*

"Ok."

"Ok," Ryouga replied as he floated out of Akane's
room and closed the door. Then he did a victory dance that was
a hybrid of the moonwalk and the a-go-go. 




----------------------------------------------------------------------




Three days had past. It was now Sunday morning and Ryouga
was still in the Tendo house! Wasn't it amazing what could be
achieved with the proper motivation?

~~~Duo: *unenthusiastically* Yes. Amazing.

"Kasumi, I'm going out with a friend. Back after dinner,"
said Akane softly.

"Ok. Oh my! You look kawaii!" exclaimed the eldest
Tendo daughter.

"Really?" Akane beamed as she twirled around and
struck a pose. Kasumi nodded.

~~~Duo: *whips out a boombox from hammerspace and starts dancing to "Vogue"*
~~~Heero: *sighs and yanks Duo back into his seat by his braid*
~~~Ameria: Actually, that seemed an awful lot like a Sailor Moon transformation....twirl around, then strike a pose.....

"Well, I'll be off now. Bye."

"Bye. Have fun."

Akane walked into the dojo where Ryouga was waiting. With
his bad sense of direction, if Akane had waited for him to fetch
her, their date would have to be cancelled. "Come on Ryouga,
let's go before the others wake up."

"Uh..." Ryouga's throat suddenly felt dry as he
stared at Akane. "You...lookk...beau..tiful," he stammered.

~~~Ameria: Again with the speech impediment.

For once, he wished he was like Kuno, able to eloquently express
how ravishing Akane was in her pale yellow sundress and the matching
crescent moon earrings. 

~~~Ameria: SEE?! I _told_ you there was something very Sailormoon-esque going on!
~~~Firia: *sighs* Yes, Ameria, we get the point....

Now, they were walking in silence to the bus stop.  Ryouga thought. It was perfectly logical for them
to keep the date a secret. Like Akane had mentioned, her father
would kick up a big fuss about her being unfaithful to Ranma,
Genma would try to sabotage the date and who knows what Nabiki
would do. However deep down, a part of him was afraid that Akane
hadn't wanted anyone to know about the date, that she didn't _want_
to go out with him, that she didn't want Ranma to know about it
because she cared about him. His heart sank. 

~~~Duo: Geez, how pessimistic can this guy be?

 'because it might be the only chance I get,' a
part of him answered.

~~~Ameria: Funny, I didn't know that a question was even posed....
~~~Xelloss: Speaking of questions...say, Firia...
~~~Firia: *twitch* Yeessss?
~~~Xelloss: What kind of garter do you use to keep such a heavy mace up?
~~~Firia: ARRRGH!!! NAMAGOMI!!! *beats on him once again*
~~~Xelloss: ^_^

After lunch, the two were strolling in a park.  "Ranma no baka" she muttered under
her breath.

"Huh?" Ryouga turned towards Akane.

"Nothing," said Akane as she walked faster.

 Ryouga scowled.  He thought
sarcastically. Then he saw it. A bush with pale blue blossoms.

~~~Xelloss: A _bush_, huh? With blossoms to boot...
~~~Firia: Hentai namagomi......

"Here. For you," he said shyly while thrusting
forth 

~~~Duo: Whoa!!! *covers his eyes* I'm too young to see this!
~~~Heero: *snorts* Yeah, right...like you haven't seen _that_ before...
~~~Duo: Oh, yeah... ^_^
J-chan: ....too much information....

a bunch of flowers. Akane was surprised. Her hand reached
out to accept the flowers just as a shout rang out. 

"Hey, no picking of flowers!" They both turned
to see the speaker, a policeman, running towards them.

"Quick, let's go!" Ryouga yelled as he sprinted
away, dragging Akane with him.



(After hours of running...)



"STOP!" shouted Akane. They halted to a stop in
a dark corridor. "I think... the policeman stopped... chasing
us... a long time ago," she panted. 

~~~Els-chan: *snorts* Well, duh....especially if he was anything like the cops in my hometown.... 
~~~*pictures a fat cop chasing a donut down the street and snickers*

"All right." 

 

~~~Duo: *as Akane* Damn! And here I was hoping he would take off his shirt and show me that sweaty, 
~~~bare chest rippling with muscles...
~~~Heero: *as Ryouga* W...What w..w...was that?

She thought jealously. "Where are we?" Ryouga shrugged sheepishly. 

"Great. We wouldn't be lost if you hadn't picked those
flowers."

"I'm sorry but its just that you looked so moody and
then I remembered that you liked those blue flowers so I thought..."
His voice trailed off as he held up his right hand which was still
holding the bouquet. Akane's face softened. "I'll dump
this," continued Ryouga.

"No!" Akane grabbed the wilting and disheveled
bouquet and smiled. "Its lovely. Thank you." Ryouga's
heart soared. "Now, let's get out of here." Akane
sighed as she led the lost boy out of the corridor and into a
noisy, green field.

~~~Ameria: Why would the field be noisy?
~~~Xelloss: Why, that's easy! Because there were many, many couples there having...
~~~Firia: Xelloss!
~~~Xelloss: .....some lovely games of Brass Rackets. ^_^
~~~Firia: .........

(In French)"...This is a crucial moment for Holland
and Belgium. With only minutes before time-out, this corner kick
may spell a victory for Holland. He kicks! The ball sails towards
the goal posts only to be kicked away by a man with a striped
bandanna. A man with a striped bandanna? Wait a minute, he isn't
part of either soccer team! What's he and that girl doing here?"

~~~Xelloss: Having...
~~~Firia: yes, yes, we know...
~~~Xelloss: ...sex. ^_^
~~~Firia: NAMAGOMI!!! 

Holland and Belgium players and umpires began advancing angrily
towards our hapless pair, while hurling verbal abuses. 

~~~Els-chan: How can you hurl something that's verbal?
~~~Xelloss: *hurls all over the seat in front of him* Ahhh...much better...^_^
~~~Everyone else: ewwwwwwwww....

The packed stadium, the players' speeches and the sign proclaiming, "World
Cup '98", began to fit like a jigsaw puzzle in Ryouga's mind.
They're in France! Akane and Ryouga looked at each other and
ran away before things got really violent, with Ryouga yelling
out apologies. 

~~~J-chan: *holding her nose* uggggh....the smell.....
~~~Els-chan: *fairly irritated* XELLOSS!!! CLEAN UP THAT MESS NOW!!! 
~~~Xelloss: OK! ^_^ *gets right to work scrubbing away*

Minutes later, they were in a street full of shops. Ryouga
had asked around and found out that they were in Paris. Of course,
the Eiffel tower looming in the distance was a dead giveaway.
When Akane found out, there was a strange gleam in her eye, kind
of like Nabiki's eyes when she sees a thousand yen. She was like
a tornado, zooming in and out of the shops, trying on this and
that. 'I'm shopping in Paris!' was the sum total of her thoughts
that afternoon. 

~~~Xelloss: Done! *chucks messy cloth right onto Firia's lap*
~~~Firia: *turning green* AIEEEEE!!! GET THIS OFF OF ME YOU NAMAGOMI!!!
~~~Xelloss: *blink blink* *grin* OK! *removes her dress in a fraction of a second, leaving her in just a slip*
~~~Firia: AHHHHHH!!!! *whips out Mace-sama again and begins beating him*
~~~Xelloss: ^_^

Later that evening, Ryouga and Akane were sitting in a French
restaurant, poring over their menus. Well, actually Ryouga was,
Akane didn't know French and her English was terrible. A waiter
came over and asked for their orders. Akane randomly pointed
to a dish and said, "This." 

Ryouga paled. "Uh, Akane, you've just ordered their
deluxe special. It's a dinner for a party of ten." 

~~~Xelloss:.....what's wrong with that? Lina could eat that in.....hmmm....a minute flat.
~~~Firia: *trying to hide herself* *blinks* I think we've been around them too long....
~~~Ameria: *nod nod*

Akane's eyes widened and asked Ryouga to help her order instead. Ryouga
nodded and started ordering food in fluent French. 

"Wow, when did you learn to speak French so fluently?"
asked Akane as she started on her dessert.

"You don't go around the world without learning a few
things along the way. I'm sorry that I got us lost but we'll
take the first flight back to Nerima in the morning. We'll spend
the night in the Hilton hotel."

~~~Duo: Oooohhh...what are _they_ planning on doing, hmmmmmm?
~~~Heero: Spending the night in the Hilton hotel.
~~~Duo:.....ano, Hee-chan....that's not what I meant....

"Flight? Hotel? How could you afford it? You've already
paid for all of my purchases."

"With this," said Ryouga as he whipped out 

~~~J-chan: Hey, c'mon now, Ryouga, you're in the middle of a restaurant! Save that until you get back to the hotel!
~~~Els-chan: *giggles*

a credit card from his backpack. "My parents gave me one. I can't
possibly carry all the currencies." He smiled a bit when
he saw Akane's surprised look.



----------------------------------------------------------------------




Everybody was in the Tendo home having dinner when the phone
rang. Kasumi answered it and a minute later, motioned Nabiki
and Ranma into the kitchen. "Akane is in Paris with Ryouga."

~~~Ameria: *as Kasumi* Not only that, but they're sharing a hotel room together.
~~~Els-chan: *as Nabiki* Well, I guess that means they'll be screwing like rabbits.
~~~J-chan: *as Ranma* Hey!!! No fair....I wanna score too......stupid Ryouga....

"What!" shouted Ranma while Nabiki raised an eyebrow.

"Apparently, they had gotten lost and will be spending
the night in a hotel," continued Kasumi.

"Nani!" yelled Ranma. 

~~~Duo: *as Kasumi* *very slowly* I...said....they...had...gotten....lost...and...will...be...spending...the... night...in...a...hotel.
~~~Heero: *as Ranma* Oh. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

"They'll be catching the first flight home but they'll
miss school tomorrow. Akane said not to tell father or uncle
Saotome about it. I hope Akane has a great time there, and Ryouga
is such a nice young man." 

~~~Els-chan: *blink blink* Say, J-chan?
~~~J-chan: Yeah?
~~~Els-chan: When did they start calling him 'uncle Saotome'?
~~~J-chan: *shrugs* Maybe it's the work of a fansub.
~~~Els-chan: Oh. That makes sense.

"Sure, onee-chan," agreed Nabiki, perhaps a little
too quickly.

~~~J-chan: Translation- "Ok, I won't tell them, but I'll tell everyone else."
~~~Els-chan: For a price, of course.

Ranma began even angrier as he imagined Akane and Ryouga
alone in a hotel room. Nabiki noticed his reaction and couldn't
resist a little teasing. "Why Ranma, don't tell me you're
jealous?"

"What? Me, jealous over that uncute tomboy? Never!

~~~Duo: Nope. He's jealous _of_ that uncute tomboy.
~~~Heero: *as Ranma* But _I_ wanted to screw like rabbits with Ryouga!!!

She could stay there with Ryouga for all I care!" 

"Sure," smirked Nabiki. 



----------------------------------------------------------------------




Next morning, Nabiki and Ranma walked to school, upon reaching
the school gate, a familiar cry was heard. "Akane, thy sweet
angel, let me prove my love for you. Do not worry, for I shall
be gentle. Wait. Where's Akane?" The Blue Thunder of Furinkan
High looked around but could not find his beloved. "Foul
sorcerer," he shouted, while aiming his wooden bokken at
Ranma, "What have you done to Akane? Release her at once!"

~~~Xelloss: I tied her up and whipped her good.
~~~Firia: OO;;;;;
~~~Els-chan: -_-;;; The sad part is, you would.

"Nothing! I haven't even seen her for two days!"
Ranma yelled while grabbing Kuno's weapon and flinging him to
the ground several times. Everyone else, with the exception of
Nabiki, cringed at the sight. They all moved back to let a fuming
Ranma storm into class. Once, the danger had past, they began
bombarding Nabiki with questions. 

~~~Ameria: So the danger only passed once?
~~~Firia: Someone really needs to work on their punctuation.

"Ok. You know the rules. One thousand yen each to
know why Akane wasn't here and why Ranma is so mad," said
Nabiki.



----------------------------------------------------------------------




Lunch time. Ranma fumed in a seat 

~~~J-chan: Hey! No smoking in class!

as he thought of all the rumors that were spreading like wild fire, like Akane and his
engagement were off, the missing pair were in love and the most
ridiculous of them all, they had eloped! A few gossipmongers
had tried asking him for details but sending one of them to the
sick bay, soon put an end to their questions.  Ukyou sat down and offered him
okonomiyaki. Ranma started to gobble up the food in his usual
speed, somehow being angry seemed to have increased his appetite.

"So is it true that Akane and Ryouga are out on a date?"
asked Ukyou. 

"Who cares!"

~~~Duo: You do, jackass.
~~~Els-chan: *blinks* Wow....that sounds just like the dubbed Ukyou, too....

"Well, I've always thought that they got along well.
She is gentle and sweet when talking to him. But around you,
she is angry most of the time." Ranma ate faster, ignoring
her. Ukyou pressed on, "You don't have to worry Ranma, I'll
always be here for you. I won't dump you unlike Akane."
Ranma scowled. 

"Ni hao ai ren. Shampoo heard violent girl abandoned
you. She know Shampoo best choice so give up. Brought special
ramen to celebrate," Shampoo purred as she glomped onto
Ranma.

~~~J-chan: *as Ranma* *pushing Shampoo off* Not now...eating...

 thought Ranma.

~~~Els-chan: Again with the "uncle" thing....and why would Ranma call his fiancee's father "uncle"? 
~~~Wouldn't that make him engaged to his cousin, then?
~~~J-chan: *sighs and pats Els-chan on the head* Don't try to think about it too much, koi.

In cyberspace, a Korean and an Eskimo were chatting. "Did
you know Akane has left her fianc� and eloped with another?"
typed the Korean.

"Really? Who's Akane?" typed the Eskimo.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

~~~Everyone stretches and stands up.
~~~Duo: Yes! It's finally over!
~~~Els-chan: Ano...not quite...
~~~Firia: NANI?! 
~~~Els-chan: Well...there's still at least four parts left...
~~~*groans from all around*
~~~Els-chan: Hey! Watch it, or I'll write you all into lemons with Relena!
~~~Everyone else: OO;;; We'll stop!
~~~Els-chan: *grins* Good.


~~~A/N: Sooooo, I forgot to write this in the disclaimer, although I imagine it became fairly obvious. 
~~~This fic is not mine. I just MST'd it. The funny thing is, I was supposed to be writing my English term 
~~~paper when I wrote this, so, um....oops. I guess I'll just be up reeeeal late again. Oh, well, anyway...C&C, please! 
~~~Thanks!

Ja,
~Els-chan

*****************************************************************************************

(1) Um, to understand this, you should read "Poisoning Pidgeons in the Park" in the Slayers humor section...damn, I 
forgot who wrote it now....it's really good though.