Some of the very most obnoxious, arrogant, irritable and even menacing people I know consider themselves to be Christians. This no longer pollutes Christ for me. Over several decades of living among hypocrites (and in fact being a hypocrite myself) I have learned that just because someone is a real jerk doesn't in any way change the nature of Christ himself, nor does it alter the gift of Grace which only the death and resurrection of Christ provides any sinner who sincerely seeks salvation.

I don't enjoy the company of people who pretend that they are acceptable to Christ as they are. Grace is our ticket to acceptability. We don't earn a relationship with Christ, do we? I can either believe in Christ or not. That is my choice. I choose to believe in Him. I don't much like human society, neither within nor without of the Church (or the multitude of self-proclaimed churches). I try to love people but consistently love few as so many wield their power against others and against me in particular. This inability to fully love depicts my spiritual immaturity. Somehow I must learn to love my enemies 24/7, all day every day. But I needn't confuse love with what I feel in the presence of people who irritate me. Maybe I love them but just don't really like them. How does it help me to hang out with people who irritate me? Can't I love them at a more comfortable distance? Theoretically I love the menacingly obnoxious but that kind of love seems meaningless, doesn't it? Yet how can I change them? I can't of course. I am still learning how to be more Christlike. As a Christian I am in proverbial kindergarten. [see 1 Corinthians 13: 1-13 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.]

Life is very difficult for me when I try to participate in the mainstream. Mainstream American society, the only society of which I have much knowledge, is built on duplicity, lies, manipulation and worse still, on force, which could be labeled 'fascism.' It is this meanness of the world into which I was born that has driven me to find Christ. This ugliness of the human world is what has allowed me to invite Christ into my heart. Everything humans do in groups leads to corruption. It is the nature of humankind to be unkind. I seek Christ all day everyday because life is so terribly ugly. I see no evidence that humans are capable of creating and maintaining anything but a kind of hell on Earth.

I am attracted to the non-material nature of Christ because my experience with the very materially-conscious and even materially-obsessed ways of humans has always led to unmanageable troubles. The metaphysical teachings of Christ give me something of great value so I am trying to sell all I own to buy the field in which I have found the treasure of Christ's gift. I must always trust Christ so that Christ can truly work his miracle within my heart.

Matthew 13: 44. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field; the which when a man hath found, he hideth, and for joy thereof goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field.
45. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls:
46. Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it.

(c)Copyright 2003 Steve Sedberry, Newell, Alabama, USA