"I Wish I Had Met You Earlier" 

By: Sieya Stars 

[A Sailor Moon Story in the Rasciana/Arcainia Saga]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's Notes: A couple of things I wanted to clear up about this 
story ^_^
.  First of all, I don't want anyone to think that I am really pompous 
or
something because one of the characters in this has my real name, 
though not
everybody who reads this will know that.  But anyway, my real name, 
that is
shared by one of the characters in this story, is the name of someone I 
knew
a long time ago, and love very much, so I legally changed my name to 
hers,
and I gave the name to this before mentioned character.  So please 
don't
think that I think way too much of myself, ok?  Thanks! ^_^ 

Also, This story is part of an open ended, and non continuos, saga [or
collection] of stories that I will be writing, which will include 
Sailor
Moon stories, and non-Sailor Moon Stories, that all feature the two
Characters: Rasciana and Arcainia.  I call this open ended saga the:
Rasciana and Arcainia Saga.  So hopefully that will clear up any 
questions
you might have on that.

Also, I'd like to say that all Sailor Moon characters do not belong to 
me,
ok?  They belong to the brilliant Naoko Takeuchi, as well as Bandai, 
Toei
Animation, and countless other companies who own the rights, or have 
been
leased the rights.  However, I do own the characters Rasciana and 
Arcainia,
so please don't take these characters for yourself, I wouldn't be very 
happy
about that! ^_^  Thanks!

Also, I know that the Starlights are not really biological sisters, but 
in
my story I have them calling each other that because they are so close 
and
stuff, ok? ^_^

Well, I can't think of anything else pertinent to say, so I believe 
that I
will let you enjoy the story now!

^_^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

  

 Chapter 2
 

"Do you ever wonder what happened to Usagi after you left, or more
accurately, what she thought and felt about you when you left?" 
Arcainia
asked.

"I always assumed that she was happy with her Mamoru.  She never called
Kakyuu or me and said that she wanted or needed me, and Kakyuu always 
told
me that she seemed happy during their conversations, and while talking 
of
her marriage with Mamoru.  I don't have any reason to doubt any of 
this,"
Seiya replied.

"Have you considered the pressure she must be under to stay with 
Mamoru,
especially after having encountered loved ones from her future, 
especially
loved ones who she believes their very existence hangs upon her 
decisions
and actions?  I'm not necessarily saying she doesn't love him, but it 
has
got to be very taxing on her and her side of their relationship, to 
know
that the future of her planet, and that of a future child she has grown 
to
love before she is even born, hang in the balance.  And yet, at the 
same
time, she knows very little of her future, much less than she believes.
Pluto, and us, would never let her know too much of it.  It is very
dangerous to let someone know there future, it would be way to easy for 
them
to alter it, whether intentionally or unintentionally."

"We will show you a few things that she might not have let anyone know
about.  And later, when we return and should you decide to take us up 
on our
offer, you can ask Pluto if what we show you actually happened.  You 
know
her and trust her to tell you the truth about Usagi and the future.  
And she
knows all about what will and has occurred in this time line.  She can
confirm what you are about to see," Rasciana explained taking Seiya's 
hand.
A moment later they were in a fancifully decorated resting chamber that
appeared to be inside of a church.

Seiya was surprised when he could here the thoughts of the two girls in 
the
room, just as if they were speaking.  He knew they were there thoughts
because he could hear their voices, but they were not speaking.

Usagi was wearing a gorgeous white-laced gown and was standing by a 
mirror
stand looking at herself in its reflection.  Rei was sitting at a 
lounge
chair smiling at her and admiring her gown and how she looked in it.  
Then
her gaze rose up to Usagi's face and she saw that her best friend was
crying.  She had known Usagi long enough to see all the different kinds 
of
crying that her friend expressed, and she recognized this crying as a 
true
expression of sadness, grief, and fear.  Rei was confused, and 
concerned for
her best friend.

"Usagi, what is wrong?  You have been looking forward to the day of 
marrying
Mamoru for almost as long as I have known you.  Has he told you that he 
was
going off to America again or something?  Please tell me why you are 
sad,
Usagi-chan?"

"Rei, could you do me a favor?  I can no longer afford to keep 
something,
and yet I don't want to loose it.  But it is too dangerous for me to 
have it
any longer.  I need you to keep it for me, and let no one know of its
existence or it's significance.  But I just can't stand the thought of
having it be so far from me that I can never see it again or not 
knowing
that it is taken care of?" Usagi rambled brokenly.

Rei was taken by surprise by the grief, and hopelessness she heard in
Usagi's voice, and wondered what she could possibly want Rei to have 
that
would be so important to her friend, and yet cause so much fear, "Sure,
Usagi, you know that I would help you with anything I can.  What it is 
it
you want me to keep?" Rei asked.

Usagi moved her hand up her side some, and then seemed to plunge it 
into the
side of her stomach, where it disappeared.  Rei recognized that Usagi 
was
reaching her hand into her extra-dimensional Senshi Pocket that all of 
them
had gotten attached to their bodies along with their Senshi powers.  It 
is
where they kept their henshin sticks, Mercury her computer, and Sailor 
Moon
her lockets with the Silver Imperium Crystal.  But Rei was totally 
taken by
surprise when Usagi's hand reappeared with a small bear key chain that 
Rei
had never seen before.  She wondered what was so important and 
dangerous
about a bear key chain.

Usagi handed the key chain to her friend as strong sobs escaped her 
throat.
She quickly swung back towards the mirror and got hold of her sobs, 
trying
to brush her tears away and appear happy again.  On his part, Seiya 
stared
at the key chain, then Usagi, then the key chain again, before resting 
his
gaze finally on Rascia, who had tears in her eyes.

His blossoming thoughts were interrupted by Rei, "Usagi, what is wrong?  
Why
are you so afraid and yet so attached to this key chain?  Why are you 
so
sad?  Please tell me, I want to help?"

Usagi turned back around, and Seiya could hardly believe she was the 
same
girl who had sobbed and cried a few minutes ago.  She was totally 
composed
and seemed very happy, she could have won an acting contest, in Seiya's
opinion.  He would almost have not believed she was upset, but he had 
seen
the same intense sadness and other feelings in her eyes and body a few
minutes ago and knew them to be true.  He couldn't believe how 
incredibly
well she could conceal her feelings.

From somewhere outside the room Seiya could hear loud, ceremonial music 
that
he recognized as wedding music.  Usagi must have heard it to, because 
she
picked up a lovely laced veil on the vanity behind her and put it on 
her
long, flowing, gorgeous, wavy, blond-silver hair, before walking to the
closed door.  She then turned back to Rei, who stood up and 
straightened her
own dress and hair, while still looking at Usagi with concern in her 
eyes,
"please Usagi, what is wrong?  Why is this bear so important and 
terrifying
to you?" Rei asked, a tear escaping her eye.

"That is a bear that Seiya-chan gave me on that date he asked me out on
shortly before Chibi-Chibi came to Earth.  He won it in a 
prize-grabbing
machine at the local, yearly festival we went to.  At first he kept it 
for
himself, even though I made it clear that I thought it was won for me 
and I
wanted it.  Later, he gave it to me in thanks for going out with him.  
It
made me realize for the first time how much he wanted to be with me, 
and how
much I meant to him.  I have treasured it ever since.  But now I can no
longer afford to," she said.

Rei was still confused, though she had noticed the affectionate "-chan" 
name
ending that Usagi had placed on Seiya's name.  So Usagi kept it as a
reminder of a good man who loved her and wanted to give her something 
to
thank her for spending time with him, what was so dangerous about that.  
She
voiced this confusion.

"After today, I will be living with and spending the rest of my life 
with
Mamo-Chan.  Our lives will be joined and my time without him and my 
private
space and time will be at an end.  I will not have a chance to indulge 
in
could-have-beens without being discovered eventually.  And that cannot 
be
allowed.  Crystal Tokyo, this world's future, and my dear Chibi-Usa's 
life,
all depend on me and my actions, and lack thereof.  No one must know,
discover, or suspect that I have, or am still holding, that bear in 
private,
wondering if I am forever loosing something so dear to me.  No one must 
know
that I have stronger feelings of love and admiration for its retriever 
than
I ever let on to him or anyone else.  No one can know that I have 
frequently
wondered if I will never know a love that was meant to be in two 
hearts,
between two people whose lives were not destined to be together.  And I 
can
never let my dear Mamo-Chan know that I have looked at that bear and 
thought
those things, on a regular basis, ever since that fateful day at the
festival.  The time for indulging myself in can-not-bees is over.  And 
too
much is at stake, including my dear daughter's life, that I must let go 
of
the past, and yet I can't get rid of it for good.  It is not fair to 
Seiya
to do that, nor could I stand the thought of it in uncaring hands.  So 
I
entrust it to you, my dear Rei, to keep it with you.  And maybe, once 
in a
blue moon, I can visit you and look at it, and remember the man, who 
dared
to love a woman, who was forced to break his heart, against her 
wishes,"
Usagi finished.

Seiya was stunned, awed, speechless, and infinitely touched at the 
loving
feelings she had just unknowingly admitted to him, and by the amazing 
inner
strength and turmoil she must have been going through to have faced
everything so well, in the midst of such confusion, fear, 
responsibility,
and love.  He had no idea that she had been going through all that, and 
had
felt all that, even while he was still on Earth, and afterwards as 
well.
She had always seemed to be totally in love with Mamoru, and probably 
was to
some degree, after all he was her first love, and had done much for 
her.
The pain and heartache and fear she must have been going through all 
these
years to have such a heavy burden on her shoulders must have been
overwhelming for her.  And she probably, until now, had felt like she
couldn't trust the knowledge to anyone, for fear that it might alter 
her
destined future and the life of her future child.  He hadn't really 
known
until now what the pink haired girl's relationship to Usagi had really 
been,
since she had left by the time he had entered Usagi's life; he knew of 
her
through pictures he had seen of her in Usagi's room and hearing her 
talked
about by Usagi and her friends.

His thoughts were interrupted by Rei, "All this time you have felt this 
and
suffered through this and you told none of us?  We could have helped 
you or
been with you for this.  You needn't have suffered through all of this
alone, Usagi!  We would have understood and done something to help you 
in
some way, shape, or form.  But I thought that you only loved and wanted 
to
spend the rest of your life with Mamoru, and didn't have any of that 
kind of
love for Seiya, that is why I asked you if you only loved Mamoru, that 
night
I came over to your house and you told me that you hadn't heard from 
Mamoru
since he left for America.  Oh, Usagi, I am so sorry that you had to, 
and
still feel forced to, have to go through all of this!  If you need time 
to
think, or if you want some time to talk about things, or if you want to 
talk
to Pluto about this before you make any life changing decisions, or
whatever, I can go out there and say you are really sick or something!  
This
is too important for you to go into it when you are suffering so badly, 
and
have been alone for so long.  There is still time!" Rei pleaded to her
friend.

Seiya just stood, paralyzed by empathy and sadness, at Usagi's plight, 
and
watched as a single tear escaped Usagi's happy appearing eye.  Rei 
walked up
and wiped the tear off of Usagi's face.  Usagi only smiled more, and 
gently
removed Rei's hand from her face, before turning to the door and 
peaking
out.  On seeing the last of her best friends, and bridesmaids, walking 
out
the nearby hallway door, and out into the church aisle towards the 
waiting
priest, she turned back to Rei, and her smile slipped just a fraction.

"Thank you dear friend, but my time is up, if it was even there to 
begin
with.  Destiny, my dear Mamo-Chan, my future kingdom of Crystal Tokyo, 
and
my dear Chibi-Usa's lives are waiting for me at that church podium in 
front
of the priest.  I cannot let any of them down.  So, I'm afraid the time 
for
truth bearing is over, and the time for reality is here.  Please keep 
that
bear safe, in a caring place in your temple, where it will never be 
lonely
or forgotten, and some day again I will be able to look upon it and 
remember
it, and it's retriever, fondly in my heart.  And until you get home, 
keep it
secreted in your extra-dimensional pocket, where no one will suspect
anything from it.  And where it will be out of my temptation to retake 
it,"
Usagi said, another tear escaping her otherwise happy looking face.

Seiya couldn't resist, and walked up to her and tried to wipe this 
second
desperate, heart broken tear from her lovely face, but his hand passed 
right
through her, and he stepped back beside Rascia, painfully reminded that 
he
was only a spectator in his beloved's past.

"But we can still ---"

Usagi cut Rei off gently, "Rei, thanks, but what must be must be, and 
it is
now time for you to take your part as my Maid of Honor and precede me 
down
the aisle.  My father will knock on the door momentarily.  We don't 
want to
keep Destiny waiting," Usagi replied, brightening her smile up again 
and
gently patting her friend on the shoulder and walking her out the door.  
Rei
tried to protest, still holding the bear in her hands, but Usagi kept 
her
from voicing her objections, "Sailor Mars, I order you to proceed with 
the
wedding like you heard none of this, and I order you to promise me to 
secret
that bear in your Pocket, and keep it secretly hidden in your temple.
Please don't tempt your Princess and Future Queen to jeopardize all 
that
relies on her," she whispered firmly in Rei's ear as the Future 
Neo-Queen
Serenity pushed her concerned friend into the hallway where Usagi's 
father,
Kenji Tsukino, was waiting for them.  He smiled warmly at them. 

Rei nodded back to Usagi's father and turned her head to her best 
friend and
reluctantly nodded her assent towards her Princess, before quickly 
shoving
the bear key chain into her extra-dimensional pocket.  Rei then quickly
swept her hair behind her back, straightened her posture, and walked 
down
the aisle, trying desperately not to look grieved at her best friends
deepest secret.  When she reached her destination and looked back, she 
saw
Usagi walking up the aisle with her dad, masking her sadness so well, 
and
looking like the most happiest woman on earth, when Rei knew she was 
not,
and several sad tears sprang out of her eyes.  Makoto saw this and 
whispered
to Rei if she was ok, and Rei wiped the tears away and told Makoto that 
she
was just crying in happiness for her friend, which Makoto believed.  
From
that day on, Rei kept her promise to Usagi and never let anyone know of 
what
she had heard that night.

****************************************************************************
********

Thanks for starting to read my story, this is one of the first two 
Sailor
Moon fanfics I've tried posting on the Net, so I hope that you all like 
it!
^__^  If you want to email me with comments, questions, or *sigh* 
flames, or
suggestions or something, please send them to iluvthecheetah@hotmail.com.  
And, if you like reading Mamoru/Usagi romance stories, instead of 
Seiya/Usagi ones, than please read
my other first fanfic: "Mixed Identities" .  Thanks!  ^_~

Oh, oh, oh!!! ::Jumps Up and Down cause I almost forgot to tell you!  
And if
you start out reading this on my own Site, then this is quite redundant 
for
you, but if not, Theeeennnn.......    I have A Sailor Moon 
Website!!!!::

This is the URL for it:
 .  If you 
are
not already at the Site, reading this story, then Pleassseee Preettyy
Pleaaassee Visit It, It would mean so much to me!  And Pleasseee Sign 
my
Guestbook too if you get the chance, Cause I ABSOLUTELY LOVE getting
GuestBook Entries!!!!

Thank You!!!!!!!!!  ^_^

-Seiya Stars 

    Source: geocities.com/seiyausagifanfic2