| My Favorites of Nej's Writings |
| Just a girl, on the street You're on the street, you see a girl her lips are a bloodless white her skin drawn and pale. Her hair raven's black, Cropped jagged as though a symbol of her pain. Her eyes, you see are red with the tears of countless hours. She walks alone, head hanging down, Dressed in a simple, ankle length black skirt, with a black flowing blouse with frayed long sleaves. As the wind blows you begin to see what was obviously hidden There are scars all over her wrists Some so obviously new. You change directions, falling in line with her step. She looks up, confusion marks her pale face. You ask if there's something, anything you can do. She seems to think, then looks back. She smiles. Under all the tears and pain she's more beautiful then you thought. "Thank you." she says. "You've just done enough, simply by caring, asking." You walk with her for a time. She stops in a park, sits on a bench. She tells you the story of what brings her such pain. "My parents are dead, my brother ran away, our foster parents hate us, No one cares to listen. Until today no one has asked if I was alright." You wonder how such things could happen to this girl, such a beauty and a wonder. Her eyes now dry, look back up at you. You hand her your number, tell her to call you if she needs anymore help getting through the day. She smiles again, the pain leaving her face. The girl gives you a small hug then turns and starts to leave You stop her for a moment, and ask her her name Angel, she says. The weeks pass, Angel calls you every day. Years pass, you're the best of friends now Maybe even more. Just because, You saw a girl, on the street, and asked if she was alright. |
| I'm thinking about.... I'm thinking about how you make me feel. When you smile, and what it does to me. What can i say? You're in my mind, more and more I've come to find. I'm thinking about when you look at me, what it might be that makes you love me. The reasons that make you believe, in all the things I do, and what makes you say "I'll be here for you." I'm thinking of how you are always there to give a shoulder to cry on or be the person who cares. How I know that you mean what you say, when you say you love me. I'm thinking about how special I feel, how safe I feel, when your arms are around me. How when life for me spun out of control, you held onto me, you never let go. I'm thinking about how.... I know you love me... And how I know I love you too. I'm thinking about, Only you. |
| The Color Red To me it means any number of things The scar I see, here on my wrist from which blood once flowed It means: The thought of death how its been so close for far too long The scar I see that My best friend also bears Red means life, it means death emptiness, pain, despair, Being ALONE It means: detachment from all that is real It means: The broken love that never had a chance to be It means: the blood is flowing freely once more Red is the metallic ring of that hidden knife It means the sharp blade that started it all red means the stain from that one single drop of blood that escaped to the floor Red signifies torture to which I am eternally subject to bear Red, is the intollerable hatred I possess for life itself and for those who manipulate it For me there can be all of no escape from the things the color Red brings to my mind when I close my eyes |
| Unknown In a dark corner I sit alone The darkness masking what is not to be known Through the darkness a light beam falls onto my face, there it reveals all The face you see is one of pain Of hurt unnoticed for far too long I start to turn aside, in your mind u wonder why You begin to speak but I refuse to hear In the dark voice rings out weak yet clear You barely hear it, you strain to hear "Why are you here? You never cared before You said we were friends So perhaps you can tell.. Why you left me alone, never noticed my pain You sat with your friends and forgot I was there Your boyfriend more important more special to you Than someone whos stood by you and helped you get thru Yet when life for me spun out of control You did not see. You left me alone. So now here you stand, wanting to help Well now its too late. I'm much too far gone In my heart I am suffering beyond all compare What was left of my mind is no longer there I am dying in my soul and then after that The person you knew will be all but gone Whats left of me here will be simply the shell Of a person you knew who you thought you knew well Why pick now to start to care? It never mattered before so why start now?..." The voice fades and the light disappears You are in shock at what you hear not knowing what to say You start to speak but Ive melted into the dark... You see, its too late. I'm already gone |
| Back to my writings |
| Graffiti Sky Staring at a Graffiti Sky Littered with names from the past Faces drawn up in the stars Hopes and dreams that couldn’t last Memories pour from the open sky Like open scars, never ending pain Things I’ve tried so long to forget But faces, like yours, appear again Names spray-painted across the night Like writing displayed on an alley wall Marks the legacy of the people I was If only ‘twas easy to forget it all Horizons brighten, the Graffiti fades With it all, emotions dimly drain Tomorrow though, it will all rush back For with the Graffiti, my past, comes my pain |