| Random Spewings and Whanot |
| The Eyes What does one see, When they look into my eyes? Do they see what I see, Or am I blind to my own self? In my eyes I see my hatred, Such frozen darkness reveals little. Yet their golden state shows contentment, Decently relaxed, as in a warm hug. Their usual brown holds nothing, Emotions are invisible in that void. But tell me please, what do you see? Is it what I see, maybe the real me, Or another well-placed shield of my lies? Do you see how I feel, the life I live, Or something else, maybe something unknown? One’s eyes can say so much, yet mine say little. What do they tell you? |
| Concept:Inevitability Life is death, and death, inevitable, all a never-ending waste of our time. One's will to live is useless, questions only wasted breath, for the answers lie witin thyself, but the search just ends in death. Why does everyone bother to feel, love and hate, pleasure, pain, when all it does is distract you, from time passing until your end? Each and every one of us has a demise not set in stone. But one thing is highly certain, we will all die eventually. I don't know when it all will end, nor have a clue to it's beginning. But I know life is a waste of time, so why not stop the clock now? |
| Loser How do you deal with losing something you never really had? And in the painful midst of this, keep from losing it all? I've lost every shred of hope, wanting something so close yet still so out of reach. Every breath is killing me. The realization of truth, of inexistence and invisibility, that I will never be enough, is most assuredly not pleasant. But knowing all of this, and the searing pain it caused, I also know it's all okay. I just never was enough. I've lost before, sometimes, though they never felt like this. But I know I can survive, so long as I really want to. |
| Tears pour forth, unbidden, from eyes that shed thousands over time unknown to all. I never cry yet cry forever in a life that will not end. Pain ignored, broken heart unnoticed, and myriad hatreds pent up inside. Eventually, it will kill me, physically and mentally, but not permanently. I've lived and died, and lived again, all a never-ending cycle of hell. I am inexistent, yet here I stand, invisible, yet still you see me, or so the world believes. You call me young, fifteen, but you know not how false that statement truly is. I've lived so many lives, all loveless, and doomed to pain. The lives all blend, schitzophrenia, they claim it now to be. Inside, I'm violent and empty, my heart refusing to beat. I want to die, but can't bother, for I'll only suffer through another life I don't deserve to live. |
| Slip into the Void into the eyes of fire and tears of blood let life fade to black. Hide in the darkness forget your past defy the future for there is only black. This world is gone it's people extinct troubles hate pain love all of it's gone numb. Open your eyes to it everything fades to black. |
| I have died tonight. I am weded to the darkness thatsuffocated my soul. I have only loved the pain which tore my heart to shreds. My only real emotion is in the pouring rain. A sky forever crying over a world so full of hate. I built a life of glass shards that shattered with my sigs. The only warmth and comfort was the dying fire in my eyes. Now I no longer exist life is not worth my time. But you do not care. You live in your own world one so far away and fake. You all are so controlled having no mind of your own. You never really saw me didn't even know my name. But one day your heart will die and then you'll know my pain. Enjoy that little world of yours I'll be there to greet you in hell. |
| Rosedust Pouring rain and unshed tears drown me in their beauty. Clouded skies and clouded mind hide me in their darkness. Shadows in this stormy night provide my only comfort. I live among these shadows, the only home I've known. White rose amidst dark thorns, just an illusion of existence. Survival of the social means the death of the invisible. Such is this eternal night, killing me so slowly. As the rose wilts and I m gone, will this world even notice? Shadows start to disappear, thunder rolls into the distance. The world now dries and crumbles, and this white rose is just dust. |
| No point in life Abandoned here Without oxygen Numbed flesh Consuming ache No will to survive Pain ebbs away Heartbeat slows Truth hidden within Suffocated all Lonely tears drop Unnoticed Acidic emotions Disintegrated soul Delusional mind Hopeless heart Barely breathing Pulse fades Empty of purpose Lacking comfort Nowhere is safe Refuse to feel Begin to bleed Again. |
| Vision blurred yet no tears fall. The pain remains that began this mess. I feel so empty though unsure why. I love you so but long to end this life. My past is over yet haunts me still. Memories linger and drive me to disappear. Mentally drowning yet outward so calm none could see the truth hidden within. Bloodthirsty, unstable and wishing to be numb. This is no way to live but I know I cannot leave. You hold me here keeping me afloat in this sea of pain. I could never bear the thought of upsetting you and so I remain my heart your prisoner |