NEWS AND VIEWS FOR YEAR OF 2003 FROM RABBIT ISLAND EDITOR, MR. SWEENEY

THE WAR IN AFGHANISTAN

Well folks, a lot has happened since I last updated this page, back in 1999. First of all there was that attack on the twin towers which now gives anyone flying an airplane in that general area an unimpeded view of that beautiful state, New Jersey. Then there was the war against Afghanistan. A war we faught to give heroin traders and poppy growers free reign to market their wares. Most recently we have the war in Iraq, which I think was faught to rid the country of Saddam Houssain and his henchman in so that we could control his henchmen. So far, so good!

MY GRANDMOTHER

I just got married to the love of my life in February. It was a grand affair in Puerto Rico. I'm hoping that will stifle naysayers who have accused me of being gay. To them I say, 'hogwash', and to my friend 'Bob' I say, please return my underpants.

PRESIDENT MCPHERSON TO JOIN JAY GARNER IN IRAQ

No more kegs in the no fly zone, and no more weed in the no high zone!

For those of you with a bad memory, it was never about ONE MAN! It was about an ADMINISTRATION, and we're going to have to thank this guy for giving Bush the post-coup mandate. Speaking of mandate, where is Bob?

BILL CLINTON

I'm not entirely convinced he was not responsible for the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.

CNN, MSNBC

I'm still confused as to the difference between Amber Alert, Code Yellow and Vanilla Coke.

What many people have forgotten is that before there were 'jobs' people hunted and fished. So take that unemployment check, buy yourself a gun, a fishing pole and some bait, and head down to the East River!

Not that I ever would or ever have used it, but do me a favor and download Space Ghost. Eek!