THE RABBIT ISLAND TERRORIST PAGE

  Boutros Boutros Gali says: Welcome to the Rabbit Island Terrorist Page! Unfortunately, recent cruise missile strikes have made the world a hostile place for Americans. Fortunately, Mr. Sweeney has provided you with some helpful tips on how to avoid being murdered by right-wing fundamentalist Islamic terrorists!

TIPS FOR AVOIDING TERROR

 

  1. When traveling abroad, always wear clothing with images of the American flag. That way terrorists know where you're from and they're not going to mess with you! This is especially true in countries like Afghanistan and Sudan.

    2.  

  2. Don't be afraid to enter Islamic holy sites with a water gun that looks like a real gun. If you do so, start waving it around and let them know who's boss.

 

  1. When you're in airports, play practical jokes on security guards to make their day go a little more smoothly. Talk about how they "completely missed" the bomb that you sent through the luggage department. Then, once they complete an intensive search, let them know you were "just kidding around"

    2. .

  2. When you're in predominantly muslim countries, brag to strangers that "there are more missiles where the last ones came from!"

.

  1. Terrorists love to have Americans as guests in their homes. When you're visiting a middle eastern country, do your best to find the terrorists so that you can play "hostage".

    2.  

  2. Ask locals in terrorist-sponsoring countries to find "terrorist training camps" so that you can "take pictures" and send them to the United States military so that they can carry out more strikes. Chances are they will be more than happy to help you.

    3.  

  3. When traveling to Libya, shout vengefully in the street "Remember Lockerbie!"

    4.  

  4. Local Osama Bin Laden sympathizers need to be taught a lesson and you're the one to do it. Let them know who you are and where you're from and then punch them in the face. If there is an angry crowd nearby, they will probably run away from you in fear.

    5.  

  5. In the event of a VX nerve gas or anthrax attack, do not breath.

    6.  

  6. When visiting any American embassies abroad, always run at the guards, especially if you're wearing a backpack.