PRINCIPIA
DISCORDIA
*
or *
How I Found Goddess
And What I Did To Her
When I Found Her
THE MAGNUM OPIATE OF MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER
Wherein Is Explained
Absolutely Everything Worth Knowing
About Absolutely Anything
Published By:
LOOMPANICS UNLIMITED
PO BOX 1197
Port Townsend, WA 98368
$5.00(cheap)
Catalogs:$2.00
Transcribed
to 1's and 0's by Druel the Chaotic, WPI Discordian
Society
Cabal of the Unemployed
mpython@wpi.wpi.edu
mpython@*.gnu.ai.mit.edu
{calendar
entered by /AHM/THX }
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
INTRODUCTION
You hold in your hands one the Great Books
of our century
fnord.
Some Great Books are recognized at once
with a fusilade of
critical
huzzahs and gonfolons, like Joyce's ULYSSES. Others appear
almost
furtively and are only discovered 50 years later, like MOBY
DICK or
Mendel's great essay on genetics. The PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA
entered
our space-time continuum almost as unobtrusively as a cat-
burglar
creeping over a windowsill.
In 1968, virtually nobody had heard of
this wonderful book. In
1970,hundreds
of people coast to coast were talking about it and
asking
the identity of the mysterious author, Malaclypse the
Younger.
Rumors swept across the continent, from New York to Los
Angeles,
from Seattle to St. Joe. Malaclypse was actually Alan Watts,
one
heard. No,said another legend -- the PRINCIPIA was actually the
work of
the Sufi Order. A third, very intriguing myth held that
Malaclypse
was a pen-name for Richard M. Nixon, who had allegedly
composed
the PRINCIPIA during a few moments of lucidity. I
enjoyed
each of these yarns and did my part to help spread them. I
was
also careful never to contradict the occasional rumors that I had
actually
written the whole thing myself during an acid trip.
The legendry, the mystery, the cult grew
slowly. By the mid-
1970's,
thousands of people, some as far off as Hong Kong and
Australia,
were talking about the PRINCIPIA, and since the original
was out
of print by then, xerox copies were beginning to circulate
here
and there.
When the ILLUMINATUS trilogy appeared in
1975, my co-
author,
Bob Shea, and I both received hundreds of letters from
people
intrigued by the quotes from the PRINCIPIA with which we
had
decorated the heads of several chapters. Many, who had already
heard
of the PRINCIPIA or seen copies, asked if Shea and I had
written
it, or if we had copies available. Others wrote to ask if it were
real,
or just something we had invented the way H.P. Lovecraft
invented
the NECRONOMICON. We answered according to our moods,
sometimes
telling the truth, sometimes spreading the most Godawful
lies
and myths we could devise fnord.
Why not? We felt that this book was a true
Classic (literatus
immortalis)
and, since the alleged intelligentsia had not yet
discovered
it, the best way to keep its legend alive was to encourage
the
mythology and the controversy about it. Increasingly, people
wrote
to ask me if Timothy Leary had written
it, and I almost
always
told them he had, except on Fridays whem I am more
whimsical,
in which case I told them it had been transmitted by a
canine
intellgence -- vast,cool,and unsympathic -- from the Dog Star,
Sirius.
Now, at last, the truth can be told.
Actually, the PRINCIPIA is the work of a
time-travelling
anthropologist
from the 23rd Century. He is currently passing among
us as a
computer specialist, bon vivant and philosopher named
Gregory
Hill. He has also translated several volumes of Etruscan
erotic
poetry, under another pen-name, and in the 18th Century was
the
mysterious Man in Black who gave Jefferson the design for the
Great
Seal of the United States.
I have it on good authority that he is one
of the most
accomplished
time-travelers in the galaxy and has visited Earth
many
times in the past,using such cover-identities as Zeno of Elias,
Emperor
Norton, Count Cagliostro, Guilliame of Aquaitaine, etc.
Whenever
I question him about this, he grows very evasive and
attempts
to persuade me that he is actually just another 20th
Century
Earthman and that all my ideas about his extraterrrestrial
and
extratemporal origin and delusions. Hah! I am not that easily
deceived.
After all, a time-travelling anthropologist would say just
that,
so that he could observe us without his presense causing
cultureshock.
I understand that he has consented to
write an Afterward to
this
edition. He'll probably contradict everything I've told you, but
don't
believe a word he says fnord. He is a master of the deadpan
put-on,
the plausible satire, the philosophical leg-pull and all the
branches
of guerilla ontology.
For full benefit to the Head, this book
should be read in
conjunction
with THE ILLUMINOIDS by Neal Wilgus (Sun Press,
Albuquerque,
NM) and ZEN WITHOUT ZEN MASTERS by Camden
Benares
(And/Or Press, Berkeley, California). "We are operating on
many
levels here", as Ken Kesey used to say.
In conclusion, there is no conclusion.
Things go on as they
always
have, getting weirder all the time.
Hail Eris. All hail Discordia. Fnord?
-Robert Anton Wilson
International Arms and Hashish Inc.
Darra Bazar, Kohat
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A jug
of wine,
A leg
of lamb
And
thou!
Beside
me,
Whistling
in
the
darkness.
Be Ye
Not Lost Among Precepts of Order...
- The Book of Uterus 1;5
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some
excerpts from an interview with Malaclypse the Younger by
THE
GREATER METROPOLITAN YORBA LINDA HERALD-NEWS-SUN-
TRIBUNE-JOURNAL-DISPATCH-POST
AND SAN FRANCISCO
DISCORDIAN
SOCIETY CABAL BULLETIN AND INTERGALACTIC
REPORT
& POPE POOP.
GREATER
POOP:Are you really serious or what?
MAL-2:
Sometimes I take humor seriously. Sometimes I take
seriousness
humorously. Either way it is irrelevant.
GP: Maybe
you are just crazy.
M2:
Indeed! But do not reject these teaching as false because I am
crazy.
The reason that I am crazy is because they are true.
GP: Is
Eris true?
M2:
Everything is true.
GP:
Even false things?
M2:
Even false things are true.
GP: How
can that be?
M2: I
don't know man, I didn't do it.
GP: Why
do you deal with so many negatives?
M2: To
dissolve them.
GP:
Will you develop that point?
M2: No.
GP: Is
there an essential meaning behind POEE?
M2:
There is a Zen Story about a student who asked a Master to
explain
the meaning of Buddhism. The Master's reply was "Three
pounds
of flax."
GP: Is
that the answer to my question?
M2: No,
of course not. That is just illustrative. The answer to your
question
is FIVE TONS OF FLAX!
SUSPENDED ANNIHILATION
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ODD# II/2,xii;68Chs3136
Principia Discordia
or
How I Found Goddess & What I Did To Her
When I found Her
being a Beginning Introduction to
The
Erisian Mysterees
Which is Most Interesting
-><-
as Divinely Revealed to
My High Reverence MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC
Omnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold
and HIGH PRIEST of
THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS
ESOTERIC
(POEE)
HAIL ERIS! -><- KALLISTI -><- ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!
Dedicated to The Prettiest One
The Upstart of one hand clapping
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- JOSHUA NORTON CABAL -
Surrealists, Harlequinists, Absurdists and
Zonked Artists Melee
POEE
is one
manifestation of
THE
DISCORDIAN SOCIETY
about
which
you
will learn more
and
understand
less
We
are a
tribe
of
philosophers, theologians,
magicians,
scientists,
artists,
clowns,
and
similar maniacs
who are
intrigued
with
ERIS
GODDESS
OF CONFUSION
and
with
Her
Doings
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Tell
You: One must
still
have chaos in one
to give birth to a
dancing star!
-Nietzsche
THE
FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF)
The
PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in
the
Fifth Year of The Caterpillar. He found them carved in gilded
stone,
while building a sun deck for his cave, but their import was
lost
for they were written in a mysterious cypher. However, after 10
weeks
& 11 hours of intensive scrutiny he discerned that the
message
could be read by standing on his head and viewing
it
upside down.
KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!
I -
There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There
is no
Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The
Erisian
Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved
home of
a Golden Worm.
II - A
Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document
Numbering
System.
III - A
Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off
Alone
& Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive
Ceremony
to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day:
of
Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of
Pork),
of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of
animal),
and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).
IV - A
Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the
Solace
of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original
Snub.
V - A
Discordian is Prohibited of Believing What he reads.
IT IS
SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL
BE
TRANSGRESSICUTED.
Test
Question from Topanga Cabal The Twelve Famous Buddha Minds
School:
If they are our brothers, how come we can't eat them?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A ZEN
STORY
by
Camden Benares, The Count of Five
Headmaster,
Camp Meeker Cabal
A
serious young man found the conflicts of mid 20th Century
America
confusing. He went to many people seeking a way of
resolving
within himself the discords that troubled him, but he
remained
troubled.
One night in a coffee house, a
self-ordained Zen Master said to
him,
"go to the dilapidated mansion you will find at this address
which I
have written down for you. Do not speak to those who live
there;
you must remain silent until the moon rises tomorrow night.
Go to
the large room on the right of the main hallway, sit in the lotus
position
on top of the rubble in the northeast corner, face the corner,
and
meditate."
He did just as the Zen Master instructed.
His meditation was
frequently
interrupted by worries. He worried whether or not the
resr of
the plumbing fixtures would fall from the second floor
bathroom
to join the pipes and other trash he was sitting on. He
worried
how would he know when the moon rose on the next night.
He
worried about what the people who walked through the room
said
about him.
His worrying and meditation were disturbed when, as
if in a
test of his faith, ordure fell from the second floor onto him. At
that
time two people walked into the room. The first asked the
second
who the man was sitting there was. The second replied "Some
say he
is a holy man. Others say he is a shithead."
Hearing this, the man was enlightened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Western
Union Telegram
To:
Jehova Yahweh
Care:
Celestial Hotel (Suite #666)
Presidential
Tier, Paradise
Dear
God;
This is
to inform you that your current position as diety is herewith
terminated
due to gross incompetence STOP Your
check will be
mailed
STOP
Please
do not use me for a reference
Respectfully,
Malaclypse
the Younger/Omnibenevolent Polyfather
POEE
High Priest
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
10. The
Earth quakes and the heavens rattle; the beasts of nature
flock
together and the nations of men flock apart; volcanoes usher up
heat
while elsewhere water becomes ice and melts; and then on
other
days it just rains.
11.
Indeed do many things come to pass.
HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19
- THE BIRTH OF THE ERISIAN
MOVEMENT -
THE
REVELATION
Just prior to the decade of the
nineteen-sixties, when Sputnik
was
alone and new, and about the time that Ken Kesey took his first
acid
trip as a medical volunteer; before underground newspapers,
Viet
Nam, and talk of a second American Revolution; in the
comparative
quiet of the late nineteen-fifties, just before the idea of
RENAISSANCE
became relevant....
Two young Californians, known later as
Omar Ravenhurst and
Malaclypse
the Younger, were indulging in their habit of sipping
coffee
at an allnight bowling alley and generally solving the world's
problems.
This particular evening the main subject of discussion was
discord
and they were complaining to each other of the personal
confusion
they felt in their respective lives. "Solve the problem of
discord,"
said one, "and all other problems
will vanish." "Indeed,"
said
the other, "chaos and strife are the roots of all confusion."
FIRST I MUST SPRINKLE YOU
WITH FAIRY DUST
Suddenly
the place became devoid of light. Then an utter silence
enveloped
them, and a great stillness was felt. Then came a blinding
flash
of intense light, as though their very psyches had gone nova.
Then
vision returned.
The two were dazed and neither moved nor spoke
for several
minutes.
They looked around and saw that the bowlers were frozen
like
statues in a variety of comic positions, and that a bowling ball
was
steadfastly anchored to the floor only inches from the pins that
it had
been sent to scatter. The two looked at each other, totally
unable
to account for the phenomenon. The condition was one of
suspension,
and one noticed that the clock had stopped.
There
walked into the room a chimpanzee, shaggy and grey about
the
muzzle, yet upright to his full five feet, and poised with natural
majesty.
He carried a scroll and walked to the young men.
"Gentlemen,"
he said, "why does Pickering's Moon go about in reverse
orbit?
Gentlemen, there are nipples on your chests; do you give milk?
And
what, pray tell, Gentlemen, is to be done about Heisenberg's
Law?"
He paused. "SOMEBODY HAD TO PUT ALL OF THIS CONFUSION
HERE!"
And
with that he revealed his scroll. It was a diagram, like a yin-
yang
with a pentagon on one side and an apple on the other. And
then he
exploded and the two lost consciousness.
ERIS -
GODDESS OF CHAOS, DISCORD & CONFUSION
They awoke to the sound of pins
clattering, and found the
bowlers
engaged in their game and the waitress busy with making
coffee.
It was apparant that their experience had been private.
They discussed their strange encounter and
reconstructed from
memory
the chimpanzee's diagram. Over the next five days they
searched
libraries to find the significance of it, but were disappointed
to
uncover only references to Taoism, the Korean flag, and
Technocracy.
It was not until they traced the Greek writing on the
apple
that they discovered the ancient Goddess known to the Greeks
as ERIS
and to the Romans as DISCORDIA. This was on the fifth night,
and
when they slept that night each had a vivid dream of a splendid
woman
whose eyes were as soft as feather and as deep as eternity
itself,
and whose body was the spectacular dance of atoms and
universes.
Pyrotechnics of pure energy formed her flowing hair, and
rainbows
manifested and dissolved as she spoke in a warm and
gentle
voice:
I have
come to tell you that you are free. Many ages ago, My
consciousness
left man, that he might develop himself. I return to
find
this development approaching completion, but hindered by fear
and by
misunderstanding.
You
have built for yourselves psychic suits of armor, and clad in
them,
your vision is restricted, your movements are clumsy and
painful,
your skin is bruised, and your spirit is broiled in the sun.
I am
chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists
build
rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns
laugh
in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that
you are
free.
During the next months they studied
philosophies and
theologies,
and learned that ERIS or DISCORDIA was primarily feared
by the
ancients as being disruptive. Indeed, the very concept of
chaos
was still considered equivalent to strife and treated as a
negative.
"No wonder things are all screwed up," they concluded,
"they
have got it all backwards." They found that the principle of
disorder
was every much as significant as the principle of order.
With this in mind, they studied the strange
yin-yang. During a
meditation
one afternoon, a voice came to them:
It is
called THE SACRED CHAO. I appoint you Keepers of It. Therein
you
will find anything you like. Speak of Me as DISCORD, to show
contrast
to the pentagon. Tell constricted mankind that there are no
rules,
unless they choose to invent rules. Keep close the words of
Syadasti:
'TIS AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO MINDS. And remember
that
there is no tyranny in the State of Confusion. For further
information,
consult your pineal gland.
"What is this?" mumbled one to
the other, "A religion based on
The
Goddess of Confusion? It is utter madness!"
And with those words, each looked at the
other in absolute
awe.
Omar began to giggle. Mal began to laugh. Omar began to jump
up and
down. Mal was hooting and hollering to beat all hell. And
amid
squeals of mirth and with tears on their cheeks, each appointed
the
other to be high priest of his own madness, and together they
declared
themselves to be a society of Discordia, for what ever that
may
turn out to be.
"There
are trivial truths & there are great truths. The opposite of a
trivial
truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also
true."
-Neils Bohr
"Did
you know that there is a million bucks hidden in the house next
door?"
"But
there is no house next door."
"No?
Then let's go build one!"
-MARX
Fnords
->Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord,, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord,
Fnord,
Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord,
Fnord, Fnord, Fnord, Fnord,
Fnord,
Fnord, Fnord
Momomoto,
Famous Japanese, can swallow his nose.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
St. Trinian's
SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL POLICE
Sewing Circle
THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE ERISTOCRACY
by Lord Omar
VERSE
Mine
brain has meditated on the spinning of The Chao;
It is
hovering o'er the table where the Chiefs of Staff are now
Gathered
in discussion of the dropping of The Bomb;
Her
Apple Corps is strong!
CHORUS
Grand
(and gory) Old Discordja!
Grand
(and gory) Old Discordja!
Grand
(and gory) Old Discordja!
Her
Apple Corps is strong!
VERSE
She was
not invited to the party that they held on Limbo Peak;*
So She
threw a Golden Apple, 'sted of turn'd t'other cheek!
O it
cracked the Holy Punchbowl and it made the nectar leak;
Her
Apple Corps is strong!
*
"Limbo Peak" refers to Old Limbo Peak, commonly called by the
Greeks
"Ol'
Limb' Peak."
If a
quixotic socrates studied zen under Zorba...?
"The
tide is turning... the enemy is suffering terrible losses"
-Gen. Geo. A. Custer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
People in a Position to Know, Inc.
ON
PRAYER
Mal-2
was once asked by one of his Disciples if he often prayed to
Eris.
He replied with these words:
No, we
Erisians seldom pray, it is much too dangerous. Charles Fort
has
listed many factual incidences of ignorant people confronted
with,
say, a drought, and then praying fervently -- and then getting
the
entire village wiped out in a torrential flood.
"Of
course I'm crazy, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong. I'm mad but
not
ill"
(Werewolf
Bridge, Robert Anton Wison)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
14.
Wipe thine ass with what is written and grin like a ninny at what
is
Spoken. Take thine refuge with thine wine in the Nothing behind
Everything,
as you hurry along the Path.
THE PURPLE SAGE
HBT; The Book of Predictions, Chap. 19
Heaven
is down. Hell is up.
This is
proven by the fact
that
the planets and stars
are
orderly in their
movements, IGNOTUM
PER IGNOTIUS
while
down on earth The meaning of this
is unknown
we come
close to the
primal
chaos.
There
are four other
proofs,
but I
forget them.
-Josh the Dill
King Kong Kabal
IT
IS MY FIRM BELIEF THAT IT IS A MISTAKE
TO
HOLD FIRM BELIEFS.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The
Classical Greeks were not influenced by the Classical Greeks.
DO
NOT CIRCULATE!
What We Know About ERIS (not
much)
The
Romans left a likeness of Her for posterity-- She was shown as a
grotesque
woman with a pale and ghastly look, Her eyes afire, Her
garment
ripped and torn, and women look pale and ghastly when
concealing
a chilly dagger in their bosoms.
Her
geneology is from the Greeks and is utterly confused. Either She
was the
twin of Ares and the daughter of Zeus and Hera; or She was
the
daughter of Nyx, goddess of night (who was either the daughter
or wife
of Chaos, or both), and Nyx's brother, Erebus, and whose
brothers
and sisters include Death, Doom, Mockery, and Friendship.
And
that She begat Forgetfullness, Quarrels, Lies, and a bunch of gods
and
goddesses like that.
One day
Mal-2 consulted his Pineal Gland* and asked Eris if She
really
created all of those terrible things. She told him that She had
always
liked the Old Greeks, but that they cannot be trusted with
historic
matters. "They were," She added, "victims of indigestion, you
know."
Suffice
it to say that Eris is not hateful or malicious. But She is
mischievous,
and does get a little bitchy at times.
*THE
PINEAL GLAND is where each and every one of us can talk to
Eris.
If you have trouble activating your Pineal, then try the
appendix
which does almost as well. Reference: DOGMA I,
METAPHYSICS
#3, "The Indoctrine of the Pineal Gland"
DIRUIT
AEDIFICAT MUTAT QUADRATA ROTUNDUS
-Horace
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE INSIDE STORY!
The Law of Fives
the Law of Fives is one of the oldest
Erisian Mysterees. It was
first
revealed to Good Lord Omar and is one of the great
contributions
to come from The Hidden Temple of The Happy Jesus.
POEE subscribes to the Law of Fives of
Omar's sect. And POEE
also
recognizes the holy 23 (2+3=5) that is incorporated by Episkopos
Dr.
Mordecai Malignatus, KNS, into his Discordian sect, The Ancient
Illuminated
Seers of Bavaria.
The Law of Fives states simply that: ALL
THINGS HAPPEN IN
FIVES,
OR ARE DIVISIBLE BY OR ARE MULTIPLES OF FIVE, OR ARE
SOMEHOW
DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY APPROPRIATE TO 5.
The Law of Fives is never wrong.
In the Erisian Archives is an old memo
from Omar to Mal-2: "I
find
the Law of Fives to be more and more manifest the harder I
look."
Please
do not use this
document
as toilet tissue
The Nagas of Upper Burma say that the sun
shines by day because, being a woman, it
is afraid to venture out at night.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You
will find that the State is the kind of ORGANIZATION which,
though
it does big things badly, does small things badly too."
- John Kenneth Galbraith
THE MYTH OF THE APPLE OF DISCORD
It seems that Zeus was preparing a wedding
banquet for Peleus
and
Thetis and did not want to invite Eris because of Her reputation
as a
trouble maker.*
This made Eris angry, and so She fashioned
an apple of pure
gold**
and inscribed upon it KALLISTI ("To The Prettiest One") and
on the
day of the fete She rolled it into the banquet hall and then left
to be
alone and joyously partake of a hot dog.
Now, three of the invited goddesses,***
Athena, Hera, and
Aphrodite,
each immediately claimed it to belong to herself because
of the
inscription. And they started fighting, and they started
throwing
punch all over the place and everything.
Finally Zeus calmed things down and
declared that an
arbitrator
must be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and
all
agreed. He sent them to a shepherd of Troy, whose name was
Paris
because his mother had had a lot of gaul and had married a
Frenchman;
but each of the sneaky goddesses tried to outwit the
others
by going early and offering a bribe to Paris.
Athena offered him Heroic War Victories,
Hera offered him
Great
Wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the Most Beautiful Woman
on
Earth. Being a healthy young Trojan lad, Paris promptly accepted
Aphrodite's
bribe and she got the apple and he got screwed.
As she had promised, she maneuvered
earthly happenings so
that
Paris could have Helen (The Helen) then living with her husband
Menelaus,King
of Sparta. Anyway, everyone knows that the Trojan
War
followed when Sparta demanded their Queen back and that the
Trojan
War is said to be The First War among men.
And so we suffer because of the Original
Snub. And so a
Discordian
is to partake of No Hot Dog Buns.
Do you believe that?
-------------------------------------
* This
is called THE DOCTRINE OF THE ORIGINAL SNUB
**
There is historic disagreement concerning whether this apple was
of
metalic gold or acapulco.
***
Actually there were five goddesses, but the Greeks did not know
the Law
of Fives.
REMEMBER:
KING
KONG
DIED
FOR
YOUR
SINS
Ho
Chi Zen
is
King
Cong
5. An
Age of Confusion, or an Ancient Age, is one in which History As
We Know
It begins to unfold, in which Whatever Is Coming emerges
in
Corporal Form, more or less, and such times are Ages of Balanced
Unbalance,
or Unbalanced Balance.
6. An
Age of Bureaucracy is an Imperial Age in which Things Mature,
in
which Confusion becomes entrenched and during which Balanced
Balance,or
Stagnation, is attained.
7. An
Age of Disorder or an Aftermath is an Apocalyptic Period of
Transition
back to Chaos through the Screen of Oblivion into which
the Age
passeth, finally. These are Ages of Unbalanced Unbalance.
HBT;
The Book of Uterus, Chap. 3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do You
Remember?
1.
Polite children will always remember that a church is the ______
of
_____.
An
Erisian Hymn
by Rev. Dr. Mungojerry Grindlebone, KOB
Episkopos, THE RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS
Onwards
Christian Soldiers,
Onwards
Buddhist Priests.
Onward,
Fruits of Islam,
Fight
till you're deceased.
Fight
your little battles.
Join in
thickest fray;
For the
Greater Glory,
of
Dis-cord-i-a.
Yah,
yah, yah,
Yah,
yah, yah, yah.
Blfffffffffffft!
Mr.
Momomoto, famous Japanese who can swallow his nose,has been
exposed.
It was recently revealed that it was Mr. Momomoto's
brother
who has been doing all this nose swallowing.
Heute Die Welt
Morgens das Sonnensystem!
Abbey
of the Barbarous Relic
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Official
Proclamation -- ODD# III(b)/4,i;18Aft3135
--------------------------------------------------
POEE
DISORGANIZATIONAL MATRIX
V) The
House of Apostle of ERIS
For the Eristocracy and the Cabalablia
A. The Five Apostles of ERIS
B. The Golden Apple Corps (KSC)
C. Episkoposes of The Discordian Society
D. POEE Cabal Priests
E. Saints, Erisian Avatars, and Like
Personages
IV) The
House of the Rising Podge
for the Disciples of Discordia
A. Office of My High Reverence, The
Polyfather
B. Council of POEE Priests
C. The LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD
D. Eristic Avatars
E. Aneristic Avatars
III)
The House of the Rising Hodge
For the Bureaucracy
A. the Bureau of Erisian Archives
B. the Bureau of The POEE Epistolary, and
The Division of Dogmas
C. The Bureau of Symbols,Emblems,
Certificates and Such
D. The Bureau of Eristic Affairs, and The
Administry for The
Unenlightened
Eristic Horde
E. The Bureau of Aneristic Affairs, and the
Administry for the
Orders
of Discordia
II) The
House of the Rising Collapse
For the Encouragement of Liberation of
Freedom, and/or the
Discouragement
of the Immanentizing of the Eschaton
A.
The Breeze of Wisdom and/or The Wind of Insanity
B. The Breeze of Integrity and/or The
Wind of Arrogance
C. The Breeze of Beauty and/or The
Wind of Outrages
D. The Breeze of Love and/or The
Wind of Bombast
E. The Breeze of Laughter and/or The
Wind of Bullshit
I) The
Out House
For what is left over
A. Miscellaneous Avatars
B. The Fifth Column
C. POEE =POPES= everywhere
D. Drawer "O" for OUT OF FILE
E. Lost Documents and Forgotten Truths
-><- OFFICIAL - POEE
Head Temple, San Francisco
HOUSE OF THE RISING PODGE
Bureau of The POEE Epistolary
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
= THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF ERIS =
The official
symbol of POEE is here illustrated. It may be this, or any
similar
device to represent TWO OPPOSING ARROWS CONVERGING
INTO A
COMMON POINT. It may be vertical, horizontal, or else such,
and it
may be elaborated or simplified as desired.
The esoteric
name for this symbol is THE FIVE FINGERED HAND OF
ERIS,
commonly shortened to THE HAND.
\ /
-----><-----
/ \
NOTE:
In the lore of western magic, the \/ is taken to symbolize
horns,
especially the horns of Satan or of diabolical beasties. The Five
Fingered
Hand of Eris, however, is not intended to be taken as
satanic,
for the "horns" are supported by another set, of inverted
"horns".
Or maybe it is walrus tusks. I don't know what it is, to tell
the
truth.
"Surrealism aims at the total
transformation of the mind
and
all that resembles it"
-Breton
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-><- POEE -><-
POEE
(pronounced "POEE") is an acronym for The PARATHEO-
ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD
OF ERIS ESOTERIC. The first part can be
taken
to mean "equivalent deity,reversity beyond-mystique." We are
not
really esoteric, it's just that nobody pays much attention to us.
MY HIGH
REVERENCE MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, AB, DD, KSC, is the
High
Priest of POEE, and POEE is grounded in his episkopotic
revelations
of The Goddess. He is called [The Omnibenevolent
Polyfather
of Virginity in Gold].
The
POEE HEAD TEMPLE is the Joshua Norton Cabal of The Discordian
Society,
which is located in Mal-2's pineal gland and can be found by
temporally
and spacially locating the rest of Mal-2.
POEE
has no treasury, no by-laws, no articles, no guides save Mal-2's
pineal
gland, and has only one scruple-- which Mal-2 keeps on his
key
chain.
POEE
has not registered,incorporated, or otherwise chartered with
the
State, and so the State does not recognize POEE or POEE
Ordinations,
which is only fair, because POEE does not recognize the
State.
POEE
has 5 DEGREES:
There is the neophyte, or LEGIONNAIRE
DISCIPLE.
The LEGIONNAIRE DEACON, who is catching
on.
An Ordained POEE PRIEST/PRIESTESS or a
CHAPLIN.
The HIGH PRIEST, the Polyfather.
And POEE =POPE=.
POEE
LEGIONNAIRE DISCIPLES are authorized to initiate others as
Discordian
Society Legionnaires. PRIESTS appoint their own DEACONS.
The
POLYFATHER ordains priests. I don't know about the =POPES=.
"
This book is a mirror. When a monkey looks in, no apostle looks
out."
-Lichtenberg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Application For Membership
In the Erisian movement of the DISCORDIA SOCIETY
1.
Today's date Yesterday's
Date
2.
Purpose of this application: --membership in : a. Legion of Dynamic
Discord b. POEE
c. Bavarian Illuminati d. All of the Above e. None of
the
Above f. Other-- BE SPECIFIC!
3.
Name_________________________ Holy
Name________________
Address______________________________________________________
(If
temporary, also give an address from which mail can be
forwarded)
4.
Description: Born: []Yes []No Eyes:[]2
[]other Height:..... fl. oz.
Last
time you had a haircut: Reason:
Race: []horse []human
I.Q.:
150-200 200-250 250-300
over 300
5.
History: Education - highest grade completed 1 2 3 4 5 6 over 6th
Professional: On another ream of paper list
every job since 1937
from
which you have been fired. Medical: On a separate sheet labeled
"confidential"
list all major psychic psychotic episodes experienced
within
the last 24 hours
6.
Sneaky Questions to establish personality traits
I would rather a. live in an outhouse b.
play in a rock group c. eat
caterpillars. I wear obscene tattoos because ..........
I have ceased raping little children []yes
[]no -- reason ..........
7. Self
Portrait
Rev.
Mungo
For
Office Use Only -- acc. rej. burned
LICK
HERE!!!
*
(You
may be one
of the lucky 25)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-><-
POEE
& It's Priests
If you
like Erisianism as it is presented according to Mal-2, then you
may
wish to from your own POEE CABAL as a POEE PRIEST and you
can go
do a bunch of POEE Priestly Things. A "POEE Cabal" is exactly
what
you think it is.
The
High Priest makes no demands on his Priests, though he does
rather
expect good will of them. The Office of The Polyfather is point,
not to
teach. Once in a while, he even listens.
Should
you find that your own revelations of The Goddess become
substantially
different that the revelations of Mal-2, then perhaps
the
Goddess has plans for you as an Episkopos, and you might
consider
creating your own sect from scratch, unhindered.
Episkoposes
are not competing with each other, and they are all POEE
priests
anyway (as soon as I locate them). The point is that
Episkoposes
are developing separate paths to the Erisian mountain
top.
See the section "Discordian Society"
ORDINATION
AS A POEE PRIEST
There
are no particular qualifications for Ordination because if you
want to
be a POEE Priest then you must undoubtedly qualify. Who
could
possibly know better than you whether or not you should be
Ordained?
An
ORDAINED POEE PRIEST or PRIESTESS is defined as "one who
holds
an Ordination Certificate from the Office of the Polyfather."
Seek into the Chao if thou wouldst be wise
And find ye delight in Her Great Surprise!
Look into the Chao if thou wantest to know
What's in a Chao and why it ain't so!
(HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
World Council of Churches Boutique
Note to
POEE Priests:
The
Polyfather wishes to remind all Erisians the POEE was conceived
not as
a commercial enterprise, and that you are requested to keep
your
cool when seeking funds for POEE Cabals or when spreading the
POEE
Word via the market place.
The
Hidden stone ripens fast,
then
laid bare like a turnip
can
easily be cut out at last
but
even then the danger isn't past.
That
man lives best who's fain
to live
half mad, half sane.
-Flemish Poet Jan Van
Stijevoort, 1524.
The Erisian Affirmation
BEFORE
THE GODDESS ERIS, I (name or holyname), do herewith
declare
myself a POEE BROTHER of THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD.
HAIL
HAIL HAIL HAIL HAIL ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ERIS ALL HAIL
DISCORDIA!
the
presiding POEE Official (if any) responds:
ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!
find
the goddess Eris To
Diverse Gods
Within
your Pineal Gland
Do Mortals bow;
POEE Holy Cow, and
Wholly
Chao
-Rev.
Dr. Grindlebone
Monroe Cabal
"common
sense is what tells you that the world is flat."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is
St. Gulik. He is the Messenger of the Goddess. A different age
from
ours called him Hermes. Many people called him by many
names.
He is a Roach
_____________________________________________________________
Legion of Dynamic Discord
HARK
RECOGNIZE that the -- DISCORDIAN
SOCIETY -- doth hereby
certify
As a Legionnaire
Glory
to We Children of ERIS
Presented under the auspices
of our Lady of Discord, ERIS
by the House of the Apostles
of ERIS.
-><-
_____________________________________________________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOW TO START A POEE CABAL
WITHOUT MESSING AROUND WITH THE POLYFATHER
If you
can't find the Polyfather, or having found him, don't want
anything
to do with him, you are still authorized to form your own
POEE
CABAL and do Priestly Things, using the Principia Discordia as a
guide.
Your Official Rank will be POEE CHAPLIN for the LEGION OF
DYNAMIC
DISCORD, which is exactly the same as a POEE PRIEST
except
that you don't have an Ordination Certificate. The words you
are now
reading are your ordination.
HOW TO
BECOME A POEE CHAPLIN
1.
Write the ERISIAN AFFIRMATION in five copies.
2. Sign
and nose-print each copy.
3. Send
one to the President of the United States.
4. Send
one to
The California State Bureau of Furniture
and Bedding
1021 'D' Street, Sacramento CA 94814
5. Nail
one to a telephone pole. Hide one. And burn the other.
Then
consult your pineal gland.
General
License was Sgt. Pepper's Commander
~~ OLD POEE SLOGAN ~~
When in Doubt, Fuck it.
When not in Doubt... get in Doubt!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trip 5!
= The POEE Baptismal Rite =
This Mysteree Rite is not required for
initiation, but it is offered by
many
POEE Priests to proselytes who desire a formal ceremony.
1) The
Priests and four Brothers are arranged in a pentagon with the
Initiate
in the center facing the Priests. If possible, the Brothers on
the
immediate right and left of the Priest should be Deacons. The
Initiate
must be totally naked, to demonstrate that he is truly a
human
being and not something else in disguise like a cabbage or
something.
2) All
persons in the audience and the pentagon, excepting the Priest,
assume
a squatting position and return to a standing position. This is
repeated
four more times. This dance is symbolic of the humility of
we
Erisians.
3) The
Priest begins:
I, (complete Holy Name, with Mystical
Titles, and degrees,
designations,
offices, &tc.), Ordained Priest of the Paratheo-
anametamystikhood
of Eris Esoteric, with the Authority invested at
me by
the High Priest of It, Office of the Polyfather, The House of the
Rising
Podge, POEE Head Temple; Do herewith Require of Ye:
1) ARE YE A HUMAN BEING AND NOT A CABBAGE
OR
SOMETHING?
The
Initiate answers YES.
2) THAT'S TOO BAD. DO YE WISH TO BETTER
THYSELF?
The
Initiate answers YES.
3) HOW STUPID. ARE YE WILLING TO BECOME
PHILOSOPHICALLY
ILLUMINIZED?
He
answers YES.
4) VERY FUNNY. WILL YE DEDICATE YESELF TO
THE HOLEY
ERISIAN
MOVEMENT?
The
Initiate answers PROBABLY.
5) THEN SWEAR YE THE FOLLOWING AFTER ME:
(The
Priest here leads the Initiate in a recital of THE ERISIAN
AFFIRMATION.)
The
Priest continues: THEN I DO HERE PROCLAIM YE POEE DISCIPLE
(name),
LEGIONNAIRE OF THE LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD. HAIL
ERIS!
HAIL HAIL! HAIL YES!
4) All
present rejoice grandly. The new Brother opens a large jug of
wine
and offers it to all who are present.
5) The
Ceremony generally degenerates.
Mord
says that Omar says that we are all unicorns anyway.
DO
NOT PULL ON YELLOW TIP
3. And
though Omar did bid of the Collector of Garbage, in words that
were
both sweet and bitter, to surrender back the cigar box
containing
the cards designated by the Angel as The Honest Book of
Truth,
the Collector was to him as one who might be smitten deaf,
saying
only: 'Gainst the rules, y' know.
HBT; The Book of Explanations, Chap 2
Answers:
1.
Harry Houdini
2.
Swing Music
3.
Pretzels
4.
8 months
5.
Testy Culbert
6.
It protrudes.
7.
No vocal cords
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
THE POEE MYSTEREE OATH G3400
50
The
Initiate swears the following: DMTS
19
FLYING BABY SHIT!!!!!
(Brothers
of the Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria sect may wish
to
substitute
the German:
FLIEGENDE KINDERSCHEISSE!
or
perhaps
WIECZNY KWIAT WTADZA!!!!!
which
is Ewige Blumenkraft in Polish.)
THE
RECENT EXPOSE THAT MR. MOMOMOTO, FAMOUS JAPANESE WHO
CAN
SWALLOW HIS NOSE, CANNOT SWALLOW HIS NOSE BUT HIS
BROTHER
CAN, HAS BEEN EXPOSED! IT IS MR. MOMOMOTO WHO CAN
SWALLOW
HIS NOSE. HE SWALLOWED HIS BROTHER IN THE SUMMER
OF '44.
Corrections
to last week's copy: Johnny Sample is offensive
cornerback
for the New York Jets, not fullback as stated. Bobby
Tolan's
name is not Randy, but mud. All power to the people, and ban
the
fucking bomb.
"This
statement is false"
(courtesy of POEE)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NO TWO EQUALS ARE THE SAME!
THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY
The
Discordian Society has no definition.
I
sometimes think of it as a disorganization of Eris Freaks. It has
been
called a guerrilla mind theatre. Episkopos Randomfactor,
Director
of Purges of Our People's Underworld Movement sect in
Larchmont,
prefers "The World's Greatest Association of What-ever-
it-is-that-we-are."
Lady Mal thinks of it as a RENAISSANCE THINK
TANK.
Fang the Unwashed, WKC, won't say. You can think of it any
way you
like.
AN
EPISKOPOS OF THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY is one who prefers total
autonomy,
and creates his own Discordian sect as The Goddess directs
him. He
speaks for himself and for those that say that they like what
he
says.
THE
LEGION OF DYNAMIC DISCORD:
A
Discordian Society Legionnaire is one who prefers not to create his
own
sect.
If you
want in on the Discordian Society then declare yourself what
you
wish do what you like and tell us about it or if you prefer don't.
There
are no rules anywhere. Some
Episkoposes
The
Goddess Prevails. have
a one-man cabal.
Some work together.
Some never do explain.
When I
get to the bottom I go back to the top
of the
slide where I stop and I turn and I go
for a
ride, then I get to the bottom and I see
you
again! Helter Skelter!
-John
Lennon
"Everybody
I know who is right always agrees with ME" -Rev Lady
Mal
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE
GOLDEN APPLE CORPS
The
Golden Apple Corps* is an honorary position for the Keepers of
The
Sacred Chao, so that they can put "KSC" after their names.
It says
little,
does
less,
means
nothing.
* Not
to be confused with The Apple Corps Ltd. of those four singers.
We
thought of it first.
- The Numeral V sign -
Used by
Old Roman Discordians, Illuminatus Churchill, and innocent
Hippies
everywhere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PERPETUAL
DATE CONVERTER FROM GREGORIAN TO POEE CALENDAR
Seasons
1) Chaos - Patron Apostle Hung Mung
2) Discord - Patron Apostle Dr. Van Van
Mojo
3) Confusion - Patron Apostle Sri Syadasti
4) Bureaucracy - Patron Apostle Zarathud
5) The Aftermath - Patron Apostle The Elder
Malaclypse
Days of
the Week* * The DAYS OF THE WEEK
1) Sweetmorn are named from the
five Basic Elements:
2) Boomtime SWEET, BOOM, PUNGENT, PRICKLE, and
ORANGE
3) Pungenday
4) Prickle-Prickle
5) Setting Orange
HOLYDAYS
A)
APOSTLE HOLYDAYS B)
SEASON HOLYDAYS
1) Mungday 1) Chaoflux
2) Mojoday 2) Discoflux
3) Syaday 3) Confuflux
4) Zaraday 4) Bureflux
5) Maladay 5) Afflux
Each
occurs on the 5th Each
occurs on the 50th
day of
the Season day of each
Season
C) ST.
TIB'S DAY - occurs once every 4 years (1+4=5) and is inserted
between
the 59th and 60th days of the Season of Chaos
SM BT PD PP SO SM BT PD PP SO
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Jan 1
2 3 4 5 1
2 3 4 5 Chs Jul 5
6 7 8 9 40 41 42
43 44
Cfn
6 7 8 9
10 6
7 8 9 10 10 11 12 13 14 45 46 47 48
49
11 12 13 14 15 11 12 13 14 15 15
16 17 18 19 50 51 52
53
54
16 17 18 19 20 16 17 18 19 20 20
21 22 23 24 55 56 57
58
59
21 22 23 24 25 21 22 23 24 25 25
26 27 28 29 60 61 62
63
64
26 27 28 29 30 26 27 28 29 30 30
31 1
2 3 65 66 67 68
69
31
1 2 3 4 31 32 33 34 35 Aug 4 5
6 7 8 70 71 72 73 1
Bcy
Feb 5
6 7 8 9 36 37 38 39 40 9 10 11 12 13
2 3 4 5 6
10 11 12 13 14 41 42 43 44 45 14
15 16 17 18 7 8 9
10
11
15 16 17 18 19 46 47 48 49 50 19
20 21 22 23 12 13 14
15
16
20 21 22 23 24 51 52 53 54 55 24
25 26 27 28 17 18 19
20
21
25 26 27 28* 1 56 57 58 59 60 29
30 31 1 2 22 23 24 25
26
Mar 2
3 4 5 6 61 62 63 64 65 Sep 3 4
5 6 7 27 28 29 30
31
7
8 9 10 11 66 67 68 69 70 8 9 10 11
12 32 33 34 35
36
12 13 14 15 16 71 72 73 1 2 Dsc
13 14 15 16 17 37 38 39
40
41
17 18 19 20 21 3 4 5 6 7
18 19 20 21 22 42 43 44 45
46
22 23 24 25 26 8 9 10 11 12 23 24 25 26 27 47 48 49 50
51
27 28 29 30 31 13 14 15 16 17 28
29 30 1 2 52 53 54 55
56
Apr 1
2 3 4 5 18 19 20 21 22 Oct 3 4
5 6 7 57 58 59 60
61
6
7 8 9 10 23 24 25 26 27 8
9 10 11 12 62 63 64 65 66
11 12 13 14 15 28 29 30 31 32 13
14 15 16 17 67 68 69
70
71
16 17 18 19 20 33 34 35 36 37 18
19 20 21 22 72 73 1
2
3 Afm
21 22 23 24 25 38 39 40 41 42 23
24 25 26 27 4 5
6 7
8
26 27 28 29 30 43 44 45 46 47 28
29 30 31 1 9 10 11 12
13
May 1
2 3 4 5 48 49 50 51 52 Nov 2 3
4 5 6 14 15 16 17
18
6
7 8 9 10 53 54 55 56 57 7
8 9 10 11 19 20 21 22 23
11 12 13 14 15 58 59 60 61 62 12
13 14 15 16 24 25 26
27
28
16 17 18 19 20 63 64 65 66 67 17
18 19 20 21 29 30 31
32
33
21 22 23 24 25 68 69 70 71 72 22
23 24 25 26 34 35 36
37
38
26 27 28 29 30 73 1 2
3 4 Cfn 27 28 29 30 1 39 40 41 42
43
31
1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 Dec
2 3 4 5 6 44
45 46 47 48
Jun 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 7 8 9 10 11
49 50 51 52
53
10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 12
13 14 15 16 54 55 56
57
58
15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 17
18 19 20 21 59 60 61
62
63
20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 22
23 24 25 26 64 65 66
67
68
25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 27 28 29 30 31 69 70 71
72
73
30
1 2 3 4 35 36 37 38 39 [1991 = 3157][Next St. Tibs Day in
3158]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOLY NAMES
Discordians
have a tradition of assuming HOLY NAMES. This is not
unique
to Erisianism, of course. I suppose that Pope Paul is the son of
Mr. and
Mrs. VI?
Will
whoever stole Brother Reverend Magoun's pornography please
return
it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
THE BEARER OF THIS CARD
IS A GENUINE AND AUTHORIZED
~ POPE ~
So please Treat Him Right
GOOD FOREVER
Genuine and authorized by The House of
Apostles of ERIS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
------
Every
man, woman and child on this Earth is a genuine and
authorized
Pope Reproduce and distribute these cards freely- POEE
Head
Temple, San Francisco
A
=POPE= is someone who is not under the authority of the
authorities.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
For
Your Enlightenment
THE PARABLE OF THE BITTER TEA
by
Rev. Dr. Hypocrates Magoun, P.P.
POEE PRIEST, Okinawa Cabal
When Hypoc was through meditating with St.
Gulik, he went
there
into the kitchen where he busied himself with preparing the
feast
and in his endeavor, he found that there was some old tea in a
pan
left standing from the night before, when he had in his weakness
forgot
about its making and had let it sit steeping for 24 hours. It
was
dark and murky and it was Hypoc's intention to use this old tea
by
diluting it with water. And again in his weakness, chose without
further
consideration and plunged into the physical labor of the
preparations.
It was then when deeply immersed in the pleasure of
that
trip, he had a sudden loud clear voice in his head saying "it is
bitter
tea that involves you so." Hypoc heard the voice, but the
struggle
inside intensified, and the pattern, previously established
with
the physical laboring and the muscle messages coordinated and
unified
or perhaps coded, continued to exert their influence and
Hypoc
succummed to the pressure and he denied the voice.
And again he plunged into the physical
orgy and completed the
task,
and Lo as the voice had predicted, the tea was bitter.
"The Five Laws have root in
awareness."
--Che Fung (Ezra Pound, Canto 85)
The
Hell Law says that Hell is reserved exclusively for them that
believe
in it. Further, the lowest Rung in Hell is reserved for them
that
believe in it on the supposition that they'll go there if they don't.
HBT; The Gospel According to Fred, 3:1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
A
SERMON ON ETHICS AND LOVE
One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit
Saint Gulik to
approach
the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate
advice.
Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an
ethereal
female Voice said YES?
"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man!
Queen of Chaos! Daughter of
Discord!
Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to
lift a
heavy burden from my heart!"
WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND
WELL.
"I am filled with fear and tormented
with terrible visions of
pain.
Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is
rampant
with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own
people,
mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O,
woe."
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS
WHAT YOU WANT
TO DO?
"But nobody Wants it! Everybody hates
it."
OH. WELL, THEN STOP.
At which moment She turned herself into an
aspirin
commercial
and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species.
SINISTER
DEXTER HAS A BROKEN SPIROMETER.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
CHAPTER 5: THE PIONEERS
=THE FIVE APOSTLES OF ERIS & WHO THEY BE =
1. HUNG
MUNG
A Sage
of Ancient China and Official Discordian Missionary to the
Heathen
Chinee. He who originally devised THE SACRED CHAO. Patron
of the
Season of Chaos. Holyday: Jan 5.
2. DR.
VAN VAN MOJO
A Head
Doctor of Deep Africa and Maker of Fine Dolls. D.H.V., Doctor
of
Hoodoo and Vexes, from The Greater Metropolitan Yorba Linda
Jesus
Will Save Your Bod Home Study Bible School; and F.I.H.G.W.P.,
Fellow
of the Intergalactic Haitian Guerrillas for World Peace. Patron
of The
Season of Discord. Holyday: Mar 19. [NOTE: Erisians of The
Laughing
Christ sect are of the silly contention that Dr. Mojo is an
imposter
and that PATAMUNZO LINGANANDA is the True Second
Apostle.
Lord Omar claims that Dr. Mojo heaps hatred upon
Patamunzo,
who sends only Love Vibrations in return. But we of the
POEE
sect know that Patamunzo is the Real Imposter, and that those
vibrations
of his are actually an attempt to subvert Dr. Mojo's
rightful
apostilic authority by shaking him out of his wits.
3. SRI
SYADASTI SYADAVAKTAVYA SYADASTI SYANNASTI
SYADASTI
CAVAKTAVYASCA SYADASTI SYANNASTI
SYADAVATAVYASCA
SYADASTI SYANNASTI SYADAVAKTAVYASCA
commonly
called just SRI SYADASTI
His
name is Sanskrit, and means: All affirmations are true in some
sense,
false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false
in some
sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and
meaningless
in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in
some
sense. He is an Indian Pundit and Prince, born of the Peyotl
Tribe,
son of Gentle Chief Sun Flower Seed and the squaw Merry
Jane.
Patron to psychedelic type Discordians. Patron of the Season of
Confusion.
Holyday: May 31. NOTE: Sri Syadasti should not be
confused
with BLESSED ST. GULIK THE STONED, who is not the same
person
but is the same Apostle.
4.
ZARATHUD THE INCORRIGIBLE, sometimes called ZARATHUD THE
STAUNCH
A hard
nosed Hermit of Medieval Europe and Chaosphe Bible Banger.
Dubbed
"Offender of The Faith." Discovered the Five Commandments.
Patron
of the Season of Bureaucracy. Holyday: Aug. 12
5. THE
ELDER MALACLYPSE
A
wandering Wiseman of Ancient Mediterrania ("Med-Terra" or
middle
earth), who followed a 5-pointed Star through the alleys of
Rome,
Damascus, Baghdad, Jerusalem, Mecca and Cairo, bearing a sign
that
seemed to read "DOOM". (This is a misunderstanding. The sign
actually
read "DUMB". Mal-1 is a Non-Prophet.) Patron and namesake
of
Mal-2. Patron on The Season of The Aftermath. Holyday: Oct 24.
All
statements are true in some sense, false in some sense,
meaningless
in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and
meaningless
in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and
true
and false and meaningless in some sense. A public service
clarification
by the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual Wisdom, Wilmette.
The
teachings of the Sri Syadasti School of Spiritual School of
Spiritual
Wisdom are true in some sense, false in some sense,
meaningless
in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and
meaningless
in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and
true
and false and meaningless in some sense.
Patamunzo
Lingananda School of Higher Spiritual Wisdom, Skokie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Hey
Man...Great! I feel goofy, the way my old man looks when he's
drunk.
THE HONEST BOOK OF TRUTH
being a BIBLE of The Erisian Movement
and How it was Revealed to
Episkopos LORD OMAR KHAYYAM RAVENHURST, KSC; Bull
Goose
of Limbo; and Master Pastor of the Church
Invisible of
the Laughing Christ, Hidden Temple of The
Happy Jesus,
Laughing Buddha Jesus [LBJ] Ranch
From the Honest Book of Truth
THE BOOK OF EXPLANATIONS, Chapter 1
1.
There came one day to Lord Omar, Bull Goose of Limbo, a
Messenger
of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Mound wherein was
buried
an Honest Book.
2. And
the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and dig the
Truth,
that ye may come to know it and, knowing it, spread it and,
spreading
it, wallow in it and, wallowing in it, lie in it and ,lying in
the
Truth, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings -- an
Inspiration
to all men and a Scribe to the Gods.
3. So
Omar went forth to the Sacred Mound, which was to the East of
Mullah,
and thereupon he worked digging in the sand for five days
and
five nights, but found no book.
4. At
the end of five days and five nights of digging, it came to pass
that
Omar was exhausted. So he put his shovel to one side and
bedded
himself down on the sand, using as a pillow a Golden Chest
he had
uncovered on the first day of his labors.
5. Omar
slept.
6. On
the fifth day of his sleeping, Lord Omar fell into a Trance, and
there
came to him in the Trance a Dream, and there came to him in
the
Dream a Messenger of Our Lady who told him of a Sacred Grove
wherein
was hidden a Golden Chest.
7. And
the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and lift the
Stash,
that ye may come to own it and, owning it, share it and,
sharing
it, love in it and, loving in it, dwell in it and, dwelling in the
Stash,
become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings - an
Inspiration
to all men and a Scribe to the Gods.
8. But
Omar lamented, saying unto the Angel: What is this shit,man?
What
care I for the Word and Sayings? What care I for the
Inspiration
of all men? Wherein does it profit a man to be a Scribe to
the
Gods when the Scribes of the Governments do nothing, yet are
paid
better wages?
9. And,
lo, the Angel waxed in anger and Omar was stricken to the
Ground by an Invisible Hand and did not arise for
five days and five
nights.
10. And
it came to pass that on the fifth night he dreampt, and in his
Dream
he had a Vision, and in this Vision there came unto him a
Messenger
of Our Lady who entrusted to him a Rigoletto cigar box
containing
many filing cards, some of them in packs with rubber
bands
around, and upon these cards were sometimes written verses,
while
upon others nothing was written.
11.
Thereupon the Angel Commanded to Lord: Take ye this Honest
Book of
Truth to thine bosom and cherish it. Carry it forth into The
Land
and Lay it before Kings of Nations and Collectors of Garbage.
Preach
from it unto the Righteous, that they may renounce their
ways
and repent.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
CONVENTIONAL CHAOS
GREYFACE
In the
year 1166 B.C., a malcontented hunchbrain by the name of
Greyface,
got it into his head that the universe was as humorless as
he, and
he began to teach that play was sinful because it contradicted
the
ways of Serious Order. "Look at all the order around you," he
said. And
from
that,
he deluded honest men to believe that
reality
was a straightjacket affair and not the happy romance as men
had
known it.
It is
not presently understood why men were so gullible at that
particular
time, for absolutely no one thought to observe all the
disorder
around them and conclude just the opposite. But anyway,
Greyface
and his followers took the game of playing at life more
seriously
than they took life itself and were known even to destroy
other
living beings whose ways of life differed from their own.
The
unfortunate result of this is that mankind has since been
suffering
from a psychological and spiritual imbalance. Imbalance
causes
frustration, and frustration causes fear. And fear makes for a
bad
trip. Man has been on a bad trip for a long time now.
It is
called THE CURSE OF GREYFACE.
Bullshit
makes the flowers
grow
& that's beautiful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Climb
into the Chao with a friend or two
And
follow the Way it carries you,
Adrift
like a Lunatic Lifeboat Crew
Over
the Waves in whatever you do.
(HBT; The Book of Advise, 1:3)
[graphic
deleted... if you wanna see it, READ THE BOOK]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Meanwhile,
at the Chinese laundromat...
DOGMA
I - METAPHYSICS #2, "COSMOLOGY"*
THE BOOK OF UTERUS
from the Honest Book of Truth
revealed
to Lord Omar
1.
Before the beginning was the Nonexistent Chao, balanced in
Oblivion
by the Perfect Counterpushpull of the Hodge and the Podge.
2.
Whereupon, by an Act of Happenstance, the Hodge began
gradually
to overpower the Podge -- and the Primal Chaos thereby
came to
be.
3. So
in the beginning was the Primal Chaos, balanced on the Edge of
Oblivion
by the Perfect Counterpullpush of the Podge and the Hodge.
4.
Whereupon, by the Law of Negative Reversal,** the Podge swiftly
underpowered
the Hodge and Everything broke loose.
5. And
therein emerged the Active Force of Discord, the Subtle
Manifestation
of the Nonexistent Chao, to guide Everything along the
Path
back to Oblivion - that it might not become lost among Precepts
of
Order in the Region of Thud.
6. Forasmuch
as it was Active, the Force of Discord entered the State
of
Confusion, wherein It copulated with the Queen and begat ERIS,
Our
Lady of Discord and Gross Manifestation of the Nonexistent Chao.
7. And
under Eris Confusion became established, and was hence
called
Bureaucracy; while over Bureaucracy Eris became established,
and was
hence called Discordia.
8. By
the by it came to pass that the Establishment of Bureaucracy
perished
in a paper shortage.
9. Thus
it was, in accord with the Law of Laws.
10.
During and after the Fall of the Establishment of Bureaucracy was
the
Aftermath, an Age of Disorder in which calculation, computations,
and
reckonings were put away by the Children of Eris in Acceptance
and
Preparation for the Return to Oblivion to be followed by a
Repetition
of the Universal Absurdity. Moreover, of Itself the Coming
of
Aftermath waseth a Resurrection of the Freedom-flowing Chaos.
HAIL
ERIS!
11.
Herein was set into motion the Eristic Pattern, which would
Repeat
Itself Five Times Over Seventy-three Times, after which
nothing
would happen.
____________________________
* This
doctrine should not be confused with DOGMA III - HISTORY
#6,
"HISTORIC CYCLES," which states that social progress occurs in
five
cycles, the first three ("The Tricycle") of which are THESIS,
ANTITHESIS
and PARENTHESIS; and the last two ("the Bicycle") of
which
are CONSTERNATION and MORAL WARPTITUDE.
** The
LAW OF NEGATIVE REVERSAL states that if something does
not
happen then the exact opposite will happen, only in exactly the
opposite
manner from that in which it did not happen.
Dull
but Sincere Filler
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
"And,
behold, thusly was the Law formulated: Imposition of Order =
escalation
of Disorder!"
[H.B.T. ; The Gospel According to Fred, 1:6]
THE
FIVE ORDERS OF DISCORDIA ("THEM")
Gen.
Pandaemonium, Commanding
The
seeds of the ORDERS OF DISCORDIA were planted by Greyface
into his
early disciples. They form the skeleton of the Aneristic
Movement,
which over emphasizes the Principle of Order and is
antagonistic
to the necessary compliment, the Principle of Disorder.
The
Orders are composed of persons all hung up on authority,
security
and control; i.e., they are blinded by the Aneristic Illusion.
They do
not know that they belong to Orders of Discordia.
But we
know.
1. The
Military Order of THE KNIGHTS OF THE FIVE SIDED TEMPLE.
This is
for all the soldiers and bureaucrats of the world.
2. The
Political Order of THE PARTY FOR WAR ON EVIL. This is
reserved
for lawmakers, censors, and like ilk.
3. The
Academic Order of THE HEMLOCK FELLOWSHIP. They
commonly
inhabit schools and universities, and dominate many of
them.
4. The
Social Order of THE CITIZENS COMMITTEE FOR CONCERNED
CITIZENS.
This is mostly a grass-roots version of the more
professional
military, political, academic and sacred Orders.
5. The
Sacred Order of THE DEFAMATION LEAGUE. Not much is
known
about the D.L., but they are very ancient and quite possibly
were
founded by Greyface himself. It is known that they now have
absolute
domination over all organized churches in the world. It is
also
believed that they have been costuming cabbages and passing
them
off as human beings.
A
person belonging to one or more Order is just as likely to carry a
flag of
the counter-establishment as the flag of the establishment--
just as
long as it is a flag.
Don't
let THEM immanentize the Eschaton.
HIP-2-3-4,
HIP-2-3-4
Go To
Your Left-Right....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
THE
FOLLOWING IS QUOTED FROM BERGAN EVANS
ON
NORBERT WEINER, NUCLEAR PHYSICIST
The second concept Wiener has to establish
is that of entropy.
Probability
is a mathematical concept, coming from statistics. Entropy
comes
from physics. It is the assertion-- established logically and
experimentally--
that the universe, by its nature, is "running down",
moving
toward a state of inert uniformity devoid of form, matter,
hierarchy
or differentiation.
That is, in any given situation, less
organization, more chaos, is
overwhelmingly
more probable than tighter organization or more
order.
The tendency for entropy to increase in
isolated systems is
expressed
in the second law of thermodynamics-- perhaps the most
pessimistic
and amoral formulation in all human thought.
It applies however, to a closed system, to
something that is an
isolated
whole, not just a part. Within such systems there may be
parts,
which draw their energy from the whole, that are moving at
least
temporarily, in the opposite direction; in them order is
increasing
and chaos is diminishing.
The whirlpools that swirl in a direction
opposed to the main
current
are called "enclaves". And one of them is life, especially
human
life, which in a universe moving inexorably towards chaos
moves
towards increased order.
IF THE
TELEPHONE RINGS TODAY..... WATER IT!
-Rev. Thomas, Gnostic
N.Y.C. Cabal
Personal
PLANETARY
Pi, which I discovered, is 61. It's a Time-Energy
relationship
existing between sun and inner plants and I use it in
arriving
at many facts unknown to science. For example, multiply
nude
earth's circumference 24,902.20656 by 61 and you get the
distance
of moon's orbit around the earth. This is slightly less than
the
actual distance because we have not yet considered earth's
atmosphere.
So be it. Christopher Garth, Evanston
"I
should have been a plumber."
--Albert Einstein
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
"Grasshopper
always wrong in argument with chicken"
-Book
of Chan compiled by O.P.U. sect
= ZARATHUD'S ENLIGHTENMENT =
Before he became a hermit, Zarathud was a
young Priest, and
took
great delight in making fools of his opponents in front of his
followers.
One day Zarathud took his students to a
pleasant pasture and
there
he confronted The Sacred Chao while She was contentedly
grazing.
"Tell me, you dumb beast."
demanded the Priest in his
commanding
voice, "why don't you do something worthwhile. What is
your
Purpose in Life, anyway?"
Munching the tasty grass, The Sacred Chao
replied "MU".*
Upon hearing this, absolutely nobody was
enlightened.
Primarily
because nobody could understand Chinese.
*
"MU" is the Chinese ideogram for NO-THING
TAO FA
TSU-DAN
FIND PEACE WITH A
CONTENTED CHAO
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
THE SACRED CHAO
THE
SACRED CHAO is the key to illumination. Devised by the Apostle
Hung
Mung in ancient China, it was modified and popularized by the
Taoists
and is sometimes called the YIN-YANG. The Sacred Chao is not
the
Yin-Yang of the Taoists. It is the HODGE-PODGE of the Erisians.
And,
instead of a Podge spot on the Hodge side, it has a PENTAGON
which
symbolizes the ANERISTIC PRINCIPLE, and instead of a Hodge
spot on
the Podge side, it depicts the GOLDEN APPLE OF DISCORDIA to
symbolize
the ERISTIC PRINCIPLE.
The
Sacred Chao symbolizes absolutely everything anyone need ever
know
about absolutely anything, and more! It even symbolizes
everything
not worth knowing, depicted by the empty space
surrounding
the Hodge-Podge.
HERE
FOLLOWS SOME PSYCHO-METAPHYSICS.
If you
are not hot for philosophy, best just to skip it.
The Aneristic Principle is that of
APPARENT ORDER; the Eristic
Principle
is that of APPARENT DISORDER. Both order and disorder are
man
made concepts and are artificial divisions of PURE CHAOS, which
is a
level deeper that is the level of distinction making.
With our concept making apparatus called
"mind" we look at
reality
through the ideas-about-reality which our cultures give us.
The
ideas-about-reality are mistakenly labeled "reality" and
unenlightened
people are forever perplexed by the fact that other
people,
especially other cultures, see "reality" differently. It is only
the
ideas-about-reality which differ. Real (capital-T True) reality is a
level
deeper that is the level of concept.
We look at the world through windows on
which have been
drawn
grids (concepts). Different philosophies use different grids. A
culture
is a group of people with rather similar grids. Through a
window
we view chaos, and relate it to the points on our grid, and
thereby
understand it. The ORDER is in the GRID. That is the Aneristic
Principle.
Western philosophy is traditionally
concerned with contrasting
one
grid with another grid, and amending grids in hopes of finding a
perfect
one that will account for all reality and will, hence, (say
unenlightened
westerners) be True. This is illusory; it is what we
Erisians
call the ANERISTIC ILLUSION. Some grids can be more useful
than
others, some more beautiful than others, some more pleasant
than
others, etc., but none can be more True than any other.
DISORDER is simply unrelated information
viewed through
some
particular grid. But, like "relation", no-relation is a concept.
Male,
like female, is an idea about sex. To say that male-ness is
"absence
of female-ness", or vice versa, is a matter of definition and
metaphysically
arbitrary. The artificial concept of no-relation is the
ERISTIC
PRINCIPLE.
The belief that "order is true"
and disorder is false or somehow
wrong,
is the Aneristic Illusion. To say the same of disorder, is the
ERISTIC
ILLUSION.
The point is that (little-t) truth is a
matter of definition relative
to the
grid one is using at the moment, and that (capital-T) Truth,
metaphysical
reality, is irrelevant to grids entirely. Pick a grid, and
through
it some chaos appears ordered and some appears disordered.
Pick
another grid, and the same chaos will appear differently
ordered
and disordered.
Reality is the original Rorschach.
Verily!
So much for all that.
The
words of the Foolish and those of the Wise
Are not
far apart in Discordian Eyes.
(HBT;
The Book of Advise, 2:1)
The
PODGE of the Sacred Chao is symbolized as The Golden Apple of
Discordia,
which represents the Eristic Principle of Disorder. The
writing
on it, "KALLISTI" is Greek for "TO THE PRETTIEST ONE" and
refers
to an old myth about The Goddess. But the Greeks had only a
limited
understanding of Disorder, and thought it to be a negative
principle.
The
Pentagon represents the Aneristic Principle of Order and
symbolizes
the HODGE. The Pentagon has several references; for one,,
it can
be taken to represent geometry, one of the earliest studies of
formal
order to reach elaborate development;* for another, it
specifically
accords with THE LAW OF FIVES.
THE
TRUTH IS FIVE BUT MEN HAVE ONLY ONE NAME FOR IT.
-Patamunzo Lingananda
It is
also the shape of the United States Military Headquarters, the
Pentagon
Building, a most pregnant manifestation of straightjacket
order
resting on a firm foundation of chaos and constantly erupting
into
dazzling disorder; and this building is one of our more cherished
Erisian
Shrines. Also it so happens that in times of medieval magic,
the
pentagon was the generic symbol for werewolves, but this
reference
is not particularly intended and it should be noted that the
Erisian
Movement does not discriminate against werewolves-- our
membership
roster is open to persons of all races, national origins
and
hobbies.
____________________________________
* The
Greek geometrician PYTHAGORAS, however, was not a typical
aneristic
personality. He was what we call an EXPLODED ANERISTIC
and an
AVATAR. We call him Archangle Pythagoras.
[diagram
of HODGE/PODGE TRANSFORMER deleted... DtC]
5. Hung
Mung slapped his buttocks, hopped about, and shook his
head,
saying "I do not know! I do not know!"
HBT; The Book of Gooks, Chap. 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
BRUNSWICK SHRINE
In the
Los Angeles suburb of Whittier there lives a bowling alley,
and within
this very place, in the Year of Our Lady of Discord 3125
(1959*),
Eris revealed Herself to The Golden Apple Corps for the first
time.
In
honor of this Incredible Event, this Holy Place is revered as a
Shrine
by all Erisians. Once every five years, the Golden Apple Corps
plans a
Pilgrimage to Brunswick Shrine as an act of Devotion, and
therein
to partake of No Hot Dog Buns, and ruminate a bit about It
All.
It is
written that when The Corps returns to The Shrine for the fifth
time
five times over, than shall the world come to an end:
IMPENDING DOOM
HAS ARRIVED
And Five Days Prior to This Occasion The
Apostle The Elder
Malaclypse Shall Walk the Streets of
Whittier Bearing a Sign
for All Literates to Read thereof:
"DOOM", as a Warning of
Forthcoming Doom to All Men Impending. And
He Shall Signal
This Event by Seeking the Poor and
Distributing to Them
Precious
MAO BUTTONS and Whittier Shall be Known as
The Region of
Thud
for These Five Days.
As a
public service to all mankind and civilization in general, and to
us in
particular, the Golden Apple Corps has concluded that planning
such a
Pilgrimage is sufficient and that it is prudent to never get
around
to actually going.
___________________________________
* Or
maybe it was 1958, I forget.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
STARBUCK'S PEBBLES Which
Is
Real?
*
* *
*
*
Do
these 5 pebbles [note: they were pebbles,originally..try doing
ASCII
pebbles -DtC] REALLY form a pentagon? Those biased by the
Aneristic
Illusion would say yes. Those biased by the Eristic Illusion
would
say no. Criss-cross them and it is a star.
An
Illuminated Mind can see all of these, yet he does not insist that
any one
is really true, or that none at all is true. Stars, and
pentagons,
and disorder are all his creations and he may do with
them as
he wishes. Indeed, even so the concept of number 5.
The
real reality is there, but everything you KNOW about "it" is in
your
mind and yours to do with as you like. Conceptualization is art,
and YOU
ARE THE ARTIST.
Convictions
cause convicts.
Can you chart the COURSE
to Captain Valentine's SWEETHEART?
Hemlock?
I never touch the stuff!
When I was 8 or 9 years old, I acquired
a split beaver magazine. You can imagine
my disappointment when,upon examination
of the photos with a microscope, I found
that all I could see was dots.
7.
Never write in pencil unless you are on a train or sick in bed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
ERIS
CONTEMPLATES FOR 3125 YEARS
-------------------------------------------Pun-jab
is Sikh, Sikh, Sikh!-
-------
THE
PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE)
A
Non-prophet Irreligious Disorganization
MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSC
Omnibenevolent
Polyfather of Virginity in Gold
HIGH PRIEST
THE
ERISIAN MOVEMENT HOUSE OF
APOSTLES
OF ERIS
(X)
Official Business ( )Surreptitious Business page 1 of 1
pages
Official
Discordian Document Number (if applicable): n/a
( ) the
Golden Apple Corps (X)House of
Disciples of Discordia
The Bureaucracy, Bureau of: DOGMAS
( )
Council of Episkoposes: Office of High Priesthood, Sect of the POEE
( )
Drawer o
_____________________________________________________________
_________________
Today's
DATE: day of the Carrot yesterday's DATE: Yes -><-
Originating
Cabal: Joshua Norton Cabal - San Francisco
TO:
REV. RAMPANT PANCREAS, tRRoCR(a)pttM; Colorado Encrustation
Brother
Ram,
Your
acute observation that ERIS spelled backwards is SIRE, and your
inference
to the effect that there is sexual symbolism here, have
brought
me to some observations of my own,
ERIS
spelled fore-part-aft-wards is RISE. And spelled inside out is
REIS,
which is a unit of money, albeit Portugese-Brazilian and no
longer
in use. From this it may be concluded that Eris has usurped
Eros
(god of erotic love) in the eyes of those who read backwards;
which
obviously made Eros sorE. Then She apparently embezzeled
the
Olympian Treasury and went to Brazil; whereupon She opened a
chain
of whorehouses (which certainly would get a rise from the
male
population). I figure it to be this in particular because MADAM
reads
the same forwards and backwards. And further, it is a term of
great
respect, similar to SIRE.
And so
thank you for your insight, it may well be the clue to the
mystery
of just where Eris has been fucking around for 3125.
FIVE TONS OF FLAX!
-><- Mal-2
Not for
Circulation!
KALLISTI HAIL ERIS ALL
HAIL DISCORDIA
safeguard
this letter, it may be an important document
Form No.: O.D.D. IIb/ii.1-37D.VVM:3134
_____________________________________________________________
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
DOGMA III - HISTORY #2, "COSMOGONY"
which
is not the same as DOGMA I - METAPHYSICS #2, "COSMOLOGY"
(Book
of Uterus)
In the beginning there was VOID, who had
two daughters; one
(the
smaller) was that of BEING, named ERIS, and one (the larger)
was of
NON-BEING, named ANERIS. (To this day, the fundamental
truth
that Aneris is the larger is apparent to all who compare the
great
number of things that do not exist with the comparatively
small
number of things that do exist.)
Eris had been born pregnant, and after 55
years (Goddesses
have an
unusually long gestation period-- longer even than
elephants),
Her pregnancy bore the fruits of many things. These
things
were composed of the Five Basic Elements, SWEET, BOOM,
PUNGENT,
PRICKLE, and ORANGE. Aneris, however, had been created
sterile.
When she saw Eris enjoying Herself so greatly with all of the
existent
things She had borne, Aneris became jealous and finally one
day she
stole some existent things and changed them into non-
existent
things and claimed them as her own children. This deeply
hurt
Eris, who felt that Her sister was unjust (being so much larger
anyway)
to deny Her her small joy. And so She made herself swell
again
to bear more things. And She swore that no matter how many
of her
begotten that Aneris would steal, She would beget more. And,
in
return, Aneris swore that no matter how many existent things Eris
brought
forth, she would eventually find them and turn them into
non-existent
things for her own. (And to this day, things appear and
disappear
in this very manner.)
At first, the things brought forth by Eris
were in a state of
chaos
and went in every which way, but by the by She began playing
with
them and ordered some of them just to see what would happen.
Some
pretty things arose from this play and for the next five zillion
years
She amused Herself by creating order. And so She grouped
some
things with others and some groups with others, and big groups
with
little groups, and all combinations until She had many grand
schemes
which delighted Her.
Engrossed in establishing order, She
finally one day noticed
disorder
(previously not apparent because everything was chaos).
There
were many ways in which chaos was ordered and many ways
in which
it was not.
"Hah," She thought, "Here
shall be a new game."
And She taught order and disorder to play
with each other in
contest
games, and to take turns amusing each other. She named the
side of
disorder after Herself, "ERISTIC" because Being is anarchic.
And
then, in a mood of sympathy for Her lonely sister, She named
the
other side "ANERISTIC" which flattered Aneris and smoothed the
friction
a little that was between them.
Now all of this time, Void was somewhat
disturbed. He felt
unsatisfied
for he had created only physical existence and physical
non-existence,
and had neglected the spiritual. As he contemplated
this, a
great Quiet was caused and he went into a state of Deep Sleep
which
lasted for 5 eras. At the end of this ordeal, he begat a brother
to Eris
and Aneris, that of SPIRITUALITY, who had no name at all.
When the sisters heard this, they both
confronted Void and
pleaded
that he not forget them, his First Born. And so Void decreed
thus:
That this brother, having no form, was to
reside with Aneris in
Non-Being
and then to leave her and, so that he might play with
order
and disorder, reside with Eris in Being. But Eris became filled
with
sorrow when She heard this and then began to weep.
"Why are you despondent?"
demanded Void, "Your new
brother
will have his share with you." "But Father, Aneris and I have
been
arguing, and she will take him from me when she discovers
him,
and cause him to return to Non-Being." "I see,"replied Void,
"Then
I decree the following:
"When your brother leaves the
residence of Being, he shall not
reside
again in Non-Being, but shall return to Me, Void, from whence
he
came. You girls may bicker as you wish, but My son is your
Brother
and We are all of Myself."
And so
it is that we, as men, do not exist until we do; and then it is
that we
play with our world of existent things, and order and
disorder
them, and so it shall be that non-existence shall take us
back
from existence and that nameless spirituality shall return to
Void,
like a tired child home from a very wild circus.
"Everything is true - Everything is
permissible!" -><-
-Hassan
i Sabbah
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
There
is serenity in Chaos.
Seek ye
the Eye of the Hurricane.
A POEE MYSTEREE RITE - THE SRI SYADASTIAN CHANT
Written, in some sense, by Mal-2
Unlike
a song, chants are not sung but chanted. This particular one is
much
enhanced by the use of a Leader to chant the Sanskrit alone,
with
all participants chanting the English. it also behooves one to be
in a
quiet frame of mind and to be sitting in a still position, perhaps
The
Buttercup Position. It also helps if one is absolutely zonked out
of his
gourd.
RUB-A-DUB-DUB
O! Hail
Eris. Blessed St. Hung Mung.
SYA-DASTI
O! Hail
Eris. Blessed St. Mo-jo.
SYA-DAVAK-TAVYA
O! Hail
Eris. Blessed St. Zara-thud.
SYA-DASTI
SYA-NASTI
O! Hail
Eris. Blessed St. Elder Mal.
SYA-DASTI
KAVAK-TAV-YASKA
O! Hail
Eris. Blessed St. Gu-lik.
SYA-DASTI,
SYA-NASTI, SYA-DAVAK-TAV-YASKA
O! Hail
Eris. All Hail Dis-cord-ia.
RUB-A-DUB-DUB
It is
then repeated indefinitely, or for the first two thousand miles,
which
ever comes first.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
The
Classification of Saints
1.
SAINT SECOND CLASS
To be
reserved for all human beings deserving of Sainthood.
Example:
St.Norton the First, Emperor of the United States and
Protector
of Mexico (his grave near San Francisco is an official POEE
shrine.)
THE
FOLLOWING FOUR CATAGORIES ARE RESERVED FOR FICTIONAL
BEINGS
WHO, NOT BEING ACTUAL, ARE MORE CAPABLE OF
PERFECTION.
2.
LANCE SAINT
Good Saint
material and definitely inspiring.
Example:
St. Yossarian (Catch 22, Heller)
3.
LIEUTENANT SAINT
Excellent
Goddess-Saturated Saint.
Example:
St. Quixote (Don Quixote, Cervantes)
4.
BRIGADIER SAINT
Comparable
to Lt/Saint but has an established following (fictional or
factual).
Example: St. Bokonon (Cat's Cradle, Vonnegut)
5. FIVE
STAR SAINT
The
Five Apostles of Eris.
Note:
It is an Old Erisian Tradition to never agree with each other
about
Saints.
Everybody
understands Mickey Mouse. Few understand Herman
Hesse.
Only a hand full understood Albert Einstein. And nobody
understood
Emperor Norton.
-Slogan
of NORTON CABAL - S.F.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
TESTS
BY DOCTORS PROVE IT POSSIBLE TO SHRINK
=ON OCCULTISM=
Magicians,
especially since the Gnostic and the Quabala influences,
have
sought higher consciousness through assimilation and control of
universal
opposites-- good/evil, positive/negative, male/female, etc.
But due
to the steadfast pomposity of ritualism inherited from the
ancient
methods of the shaman, occultists have been blinded to what
is
perhaps the two most important pairs of apparent or earth-plane
opposites:
ORDER/DISORDER and SERIOUS/HUMOROUS.
Magicians,
and progeny the scientists, have always taken themselves
and
their subject in an orderly and sober manner, thereby
disregarding
an essential metaphysical balance. when magicians
learn
to approach philosophy as a malleable art instead of an
immutable
Truth, and learn to appreciate the absurdity of man's
endeavours,
then they will be able to pursue their art with a lighter
heart,
and perhaps gain a clearer understanding of it, and therefore
gain
more effective magic. CHAOS IS ENERGY.
This is
an essential challenge to the basic concepts of all western
occult
thought, and POEE is humbly pleased to offer the first
breakthrough
in occultism since Solomon.
"Study
Demonology with an Enemy This Sunday"
sez
Thom,Gnos
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
POEE
ASTROLOGICAL SYSTEM
1) Om
your next birthday, return to the place of your birth and, at
precisely
midnight, noting your birth time and date of observation,
count
all visible stars.
2) When
you have done this, write to me and I'll tell you what to do
next.
The
Eminent 16th Century Mathemetician Cardan so detested Luther
that he
altered Luther's birthdate to give him an unfavorable
horoscope.
The
theorem to be proved is that if any even number of people take
seats
at random around a circular table bearing place cards with
their
names, it is always possible to rotate the table until at least two
people
are opposite their cards. Assume the contrary. Let N be the
even
number of persons, and let their names be replaced by the
integers
0 to N-1 "in such a way that the place cards are numbered
in
sequence around the table. If a delegate D originally sits down to a
place
card P, then the table must be rotated R steps before he is
correctly
seated, where R=P-D, unless this is negative, in which case
R=P-D+N.
The collection of values of D (and of P) for all delegates is
clearly
the integers 0 to N-1,each taken once, but so also is the
collection
of values of R, or else two delegates would be correctly
seated
at the same time. Summing the above equations, one for each
delegate,
gives S-S+NK, where K is an integer and S=N(N-1)/2, the
sum of
the integers from 0 to N-1. It follows that N=2K+1, an odd
number."
This contradicts the original assumption. "I
actually solved
this
problem some years ago," Rybicki writes, "for a different but
completely
equivalent problem, a generalization of the nonattacking
'eight
queens' problem for a cylindrical chessboard where diagonal
attack
is restricted to diagonals slanting in one direction only.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
THE
CURSE OF GREYFACE AND THE
INTRODUCTION OF NEGATIVISM
To choose order over disorder, or disorder
over order, is to
accept
a trip composed of both the creative and the destructive. But
to
choose the creative over the destructive is an all-creative trip
composed
of both order and disorder. To accomplish this, one need
only
accept creative disorder along with, and equal to, creative order,
and
also willing to reject destructive order as an undesirable equal to
destructive
disorder.
The Curse of Greyface included the
division of life into
order/disorder
as the essential positive/negative polarity, instead of
building
a game foundation with creative/destructive as the essential
positive/negative.
He has thereby caused man to endure the
destructive
aspects of order and has prevented man from effectively
participating
in the creative uses of disorder. Civilization reflects this
unfortunate
division.
POEE proclaims that the other division is
preferable, and we
work
toward the proposition that creative disorder, like creative
order,
is possible and desirable; and that destructive order, like
destructive
disorder, is unnecessary and undesirable.
Seek the Sacred Chao - therein you will
find the foolishness of
all
ORDER/DISORDER. They are the same!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
ERISIAN MAGIC RITUAL - THE TURKEY CURSE
Revealed
by the Apostle Dr. Van Van Mojo as a specific counter to
the
evil Curse of Greyface, THE TURKEY CURSE is here passed on to
Erisians
everywhere for their just protection.
The
Turkey Curse works. It is firmly grounded on the fact that
Greyface
and his followers absolutely require an aneristic setting to
function
and that a timely introduction of eristic vibrations will
neutralize
their foundation. The Turkey Curse is designed solely to
counteract
negative aneristic vibes and if introduced into a neutral or
positive
aneristic setting (like a poet working out word rhythms) it
will
prove harmless, or at worst, simply annoying. It is not designed
for use
against negative eristic vibes, although it can be used as an
eristic
vehicle to introduce positive vibes into a misguided eristic
setting.
In this instance, it would be the responsibility of the Erisian
Magician
to manufacture the positive vibrations if results are to be
achieved.
CAUTION- all magic is powerful and requires courage and
integrity
on the part of the magician. This ritual, if misused, can
backfire.
Positive motivation is essential for self-protection.
TO
PERFORM THE TURKEY CURSE:
Take a
foot stance as if you were John L. Sullivan preparing for
fisticuffs.
Face the particular greyfaced you wish to short-circuit, or
towards
the direction of the negative aneristic vibration that you
wish to
neutralize. Begin waving your arms in any elaborate manner
and
make motions with your hands as though you were Mandrake
feeling
up a sexy giantess. Chant, loudly and clearly:
GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE!
The
results will be instantly apparent.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
A
PRIMER FOR ERISIAN EVANGELISTS by Lord Omar
The SOCRATIC APPROACH is most successful
when confronting
the
ignorant. The "socratic approach" is what you call starting an
argument
by asking questions. You approach the innocent and simply
ask
"Did you know that God's name is ERIS, and that He is a girl?" If
he
should answer "Yes." then he probably is a fellow Erisian and so
you can
forget it. If he says "No." then quickly proceed to:
THE BLIND ASSERTION and say "Well, He
Is a girl, and His name
is
ERIS!" Shrewedly observe if the subject is convinced. If he is,
swear
him into the Legion of Dynamic Discord before he changes his
mind. If
he does not appear convinced, then proceed to:
THE FAITH BIT: "But you must have
Faith! All is lost without
Faith!
I sure feel sorry for you if you don't have Faith." And then
add:
THE ARGUMENT BY FEAR and in an ominous
voice ask "Do you
know what
happens to those who deny Goddess?" If he hesitates,
don't
tell him that he will surely be reincarnated as a precious Mao
Button
and distributed to the poor in the Region of Thud (which
would
be a mean thing to say), just shake your head sadly and, while
wiping
a tear from your eye, go to:
THE FIRST CLAUSE PLOY wherein you point to
all of the discord
and
confusion in the world and exclaim "Well who the hell do you
think
did all of this, wise guy?" If he says, "Nobody, just impersonal
forces."
then quickly respond with:
THE ARGUMENT BY SEMANTICAL GYMNASTICS and
say that he
is
absolutely right, and that those impersonal forces are female and
that
Her name is ERIS. If he, wonder of wonders, still remains
obstinate,
then finally resort to:
THE FIGURATIVE SYMBOLISM DODGE and confide
that
sophisticated
people like himself recognize that Eris is a Figurative
Symbol
for an Ineffable Metaphysical Reality and that The Erisian
Movement
is really more like a poem than like a science and that he
is
liable to be turned into a Precious Mao Button and Distributed to
The
Poor in The Region of Thud if he does not get hip. Then put him
on your
mailing list.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
SINK
A GAME
by Ala
Hera, E.L., N.S.; RAYVILLE APPLE PANTHERS
SINK is
played by Discordians and people of much ilk.
PURPOSE:
To sink object or an object or a thing... in water or mud or
anything
you; can sink something in.
RULES:
Sinking is allowd in any manner. To date, ten pound chunks
of mud
were used to sink a tobacco can. It is preferable to have a pit
of
water or a hole to drop things in. But rivers - bays - gulfs - I dare
say
even oceans can be used.
TURNS
are taken thusly: who somever gets the junk up and in the air
first.
DUTY:
It shall be the duty of all persons playing "SINK" to help find
more
objects to sink, once; one object is sunk.
UPON
SINKING: The sinked shall yell "I sank it!" or something equally
as
thoughtful.
NAMING
OF OBJECTS is some times desirable. The object is named by
the
finder of such object and whoever sinks it can say for instance, "I
sunk
Columbus, Ohio!"
"In a way, we're a kind of Peace
Corps."
- Maj. A. Lincoln German, Training
Director of the
Green Beret Special Warfare School, Ft. Bragg, N.C.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
A Joint
Effort of the Discordian Society
POST
OFFICE LIBERATION FRONT
Export License Not Required
THIS IS
A CHAIN LETTER.
WITHIN
THE NEXT FIFTY-FIVEDAYS YOU WILL RECEIVE THIRTY-
ELEVEN
HUNDRED POUNDS OF CHAINS!
In the
meantime - plant your seeds.
If a
lot of people who receive this letter plant a few seeds and a lot
of
people receive this letter, then a lot of seeds will get planted. Plant
your
seeds.
In
parks. On lots. Public flower beds. In remote places. At City Hall.
Wherever.
Whenever. Or start a plantation in your closet (but read
up on
it first for that). For casual planting, its best to soak them in
water
for a day and plant in a bunch of about 5, about half an inch
deep.
Don't worry much about the weather, they know when the
weather
is wrong and will try to wait for nature. Don't soak them if
its
wintertime. Seeds are a very hearty life form and strongly desire
to grow
and flourish. But some of them need people's help to get
started.
Plant your seeds.
Make a
few copies of this letter (5 would be nice) and send them to
friends
of yours. Try to mail to different cities and states, even
different
countries. If you would rather not, then please pass this
copy on
to someone and perhaps they would like to.
THERE
IS NO TRUTH
to the
legend that if you throw away a chain letter then all sorts of
catastrophic,
abominable, and outrageous disasters will happen.
Except,
of course, from your seed's point of view.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Q.
"How come a woodpecker doesn't bash its brains out?" A. Nobody
has
ever explained that.
Mary
Jane says "Plant Your Seeds. Keep Prices Down."
"And
God said, behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed,
which
is upon
the
face of the earth... to you it shall be for meat."
-Genesis 1:29
[graphical
stuff deleted -DtC]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Questions
Have a
friendly class talk. Permit each child to tell any part of the
unit on
"Courtesy in the Corridors and on the Stairs" that he enjoyed.
Name
some causes of disturbance in your school.
Chapter
1, THE EPISTLE TO THE PARANOIDS
--Lord
Omar
1. Ye
have locked yerselves up in cages of fear--and, behold, do ye
now
complain that ye lack FREEDOM!
2. Ye
have cast out yer brothers for devils and now complain ye,
lamenting,
that ye've been left to fight alone.
3. All
Chaos was once yer kingdom; verily, held ye dominion over the
entire
Pentaverse, but today ye was sore afraid in dark corners,
nooks,
and sink holes.
4. O
how the darknesses do crowd up, one against the other, in ye
hearts!
What fear ye more that what ye have wroughten?
5.
Verily, verily I say unto you, not all the Sinister Ministers of the
Bavarian
Illuminati, working together in multitudes, could so
entwine
the land with tribulation as have yer baseless warnings.
DESPITE
strong evidence to the contrary, persistant rumor has it that
it was
Mr. Momomoto's brother who swallowed Mr. Momomoto in the
summer
of '44.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Advertisement
_____________________________________________________________
__________________
BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI
Founded by Hassan i Sabbah, 1090 A.D. (5090 A.L., 4850 A.M.)
Reformed by Adam Weishaupt, 1776 A.D. (5776 A.L., 5536
A.M.)
THE ANCIENT ILLUMINATED SEERS OF BAVARIA
invite YOU to join
The World's Oldest and Most Successful Conspiracy
Have
you ever SECRETLY WONDERED WHY
IS there an ESOTERIC
ALLEGORY
con-
The
GREAT PYRAMID has FIVE sides cealed in the apparently
innocent
(counting
the bottom)?
legend of Snow
White
and The Seven
Dwarfs?
WHAT IS
the TRUE secret SINISTER WHY do scholarly
anthropologists
REALITY
lying behind the ANCIENT TURN PALE with terror at
the
Aztec
Legend of QUETZLCOATL? very MENTION of the
FORBIDDEN
name YOG-SOTHOTH?
WHO IS
the MAN in ZURICH
WHAT REALLY DID HAPPEN
that
some SWEAR is LEE
TO AMBROSE BIERCE?
HARVEY
OSWALD?
If your
I.Q. is over 150, and you have $3,125.00 (plus handling), you
might
be eligible for a trial membership in the A.I.S.B. If you think
you
qualify, put the money in a cigar box and bury it in your
backyard.
One of our Underground Agents will contact you shortly.
I DARE YOU!
TELL NO
ONE! ACCIDENTS HAVE A STRANGE WAY OF HAPPENING TO
PEOPLE
WHO TALK TOO
MUCH ABOUT THE BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI
May we
warn you against imitations! Ours is the original and genuine
"Nothing
is true. Everything is Permissible"
-
Hassan i Sabbah
NIL
CARBORUNDUM
ILLEGITIMO
_____________________________________________________________
__________________
"Illuminate
the Opposition!"
-- Adam Weishaupt,
Grand Primus Illuminatus
Official
Bavarian
Illuminati
"Ewige
Blumenkraft!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
INTER-OFFICE
WIRE SENT
THE
ANCIENT ILLUMINATED SEERS OF BAVARIA - VIGILANCE LODGE
Mad
Malik, Hauptscheissmeister; Resident for Norton Cabal
DISCORDIAN SOCIETY SUPER SECRET CRYPTOGRAPHIC CYPHER
CODE
Of
possible interest to all Discordians, this information is herewith
released
from the vaults of A.I.S.B., under the auspices of Episkopos
Dr.
Mordecai Malignatius, KNS.
SAMPLE
MESSAGE: ("HAIL ERIS")
CONVERSATION:
A B C D
E F G H I J K L M N O P
Q R S T U V W
X Y Z
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26
STEP 1.
Write out the message (HAIL ERIS) and put all the vowels at
the end
(HLRSAIEI)
STEP 2.
Reverse order (IEIASRLH)
STEP 3.
Convert to numbers (9-5-9-1-19-18-12-8)
STEP 4.
Put into numerical order (1-5-8-9-9-12-18-19)
STEP 5.
Convert back to letters (AEHIILRS)
This
cryptographic cypher code is GUARANTEED TO BE 100%
UNBREAKABLE.
BEWARE! THE PARANOIDS ARE WATCHING YOU!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Here
is a letter from A.I.S.B. to POEE:
_____________________________________________________________
__________________
The World's Oldest And Most Successful Conspiracy
BAVARIAN ILLUMINATI
Founded by Hassan i Sabbah, 1090 A.D. (5090 A.L., 4850 A.M.)
Reformed by Adam Weishaupt, 1776 A.D. (5776 A.L., 5536
A.M.)
(
)Official Business (X) Surreptitious
Business
From:
MAD MALIK Hauptscheissmeister
Dear Brother Mal-2,
In response to your request for
unclassified agitprop to be
inserted
in the new edition of PRINCIPIA, hope the following will be
of use.
And please stop bothering us with your incessant letters!
Episkopos Mordecai, Keeper of the Notary
Sojac, informs me
that
you are welcome to reveal that our oldest extant records show
us to
have been fully established in Atlantis, circa 18,000 B.C., under
Kull,
the galley slave who ascended to the Throne of Valusia. Revived
by
Pelias of Koth, circa 10,000 B.C. Possibly it was he who taught the
inner-teachings
to Conan of Cimmeria after Conan became King of
Aquilonia.
First brought to the western hemisphere by Conan and
taught
to Mayan priesthood (Conan is Quetzlcoatl). That was 4 Ahua,
8 Cumhu,
Mayan date. Revived by Abdul Alhazred in his infamous Al
Azif,
circa 800 A.D. (Al Azif translated into Latin by Olaus Wormius,
1132
A.D., as The Necronomicon.) In 1090 A.D. was the founding of
The
Ismaelian Sect (Hashishim) by Hassan i Sabbah, with secret
teachings
based on Alhazred, Pelias and Kull. Founding of the
Illuminated
Ones of Bavaria, by Adam Weishaupt, on May 1, 1776.
He
based it on the others. Weishaupt brought it to the United States
during
the period that he was impersonating George Washington; and
it was
he who was the Man in Black who gave the design for The
Great
Seal to Jefferson in the garden that night. The Illuminated
tradition
is now, of course, in the hands of The Ancient Illuminated
Seers
of Bavaria (A.I.S.B.), headquartered here in the United States.
Our teachings are not, need I remind you,
available for
publication.
No harm, though, in admitting that some of them can be
found
disguised in Joyce's Finnegan's Wake, Burroughs Nova Express,
the
King James translation of the Holy Bible (though not the Latin or
Hebrew),
and The Blue Book. Not to speak of Ben Franklin's private
papers
(!), but we are still suppressing those.
Considering current developments--you know
the ones I speak
of--it
has been decided to reveal a few more of our front
organizations.
Your publication is timely, so mention that in addition
to the
old fronts like the Masons, the Rothchild Banks, and the
Federal
Reserve System, we now have significant control of the
Federal
Bureau of Investigation (since Hoover died last year, but that
is
still secret), the Students for a Democratic Society, the Communist
Party
USA, the American Anarchist Assn., the Junior Chamber of
Commerce,
the Black Lotus Society, the Republican Party, the John
Dillinger
Die For You Society, and the Camp Fire Girls. It is still useful
to
continue the sham of the Birchers that we are seeking world
domination;
so do not reveal that political and economic control was
generally
complete several generations ago and that we are just
playing
with the world for a while until civilization advances
sufficiently
for phase five.
In fact you might still push Vennard's The
Federal Reserve
Hoax:
"Since the Babylonian Captivity there has existed a determined,
behind-the-scenes
under-the-table, atheistic, satanic, anti-Christian
force--worshipers
of Mamon--whose undying purpose is world
control
through the control of Money. July 1, 1776 (correct that to
May
1st, Vennard can't get anything right) the Serpent raised its
head in
the under-ground secret society known as the Illuminati,
founded
by Adam Weishaupt. There is considerable documentary
evidence
to prove all revolutions, wars, depressions, strikes and
chaos
stem from this source." Etc., etc., you know the stuff.
The general location of our US HQ,
incidentally, has been nearly
exposed;
and so we will be moving for the first time this century
(what a
drag!). If you want, you can reveal that it is located deep in
the labyrinth
of sewers beneath Dealy Plaza in Dallas, and is presided
over by
The Dealy Lama. Inclosed are some plans for several new
potential
locations. Please review and add any comments you feel
pertinent,
especially regarding the Eristic propensity of the Pentagon
site.
Oh, and we have some good news for you,
Brother Mal! You
know
that Zambian cybernetics genius who joined us? Well, he has
secretly
co-ordinated the FBI computers with the Zurich System and
our
theoriticians are in ecstasy over the new information coming out.
Look,
if you people out there can keep from blowing yourselves up
for
only two more generations, then we will finally have it. After
20,000
years, Kull's dream will be realized! We can hardly believe it.
But the
outcome is certain, given the time. Our grandchildren, Mal! If
civilization
makes it through this crises, our grandchildren will live in
a world
of authentic freedom and authentic harmony and authentic
satisfaction.
I hope I'm alive to see it, Mal, success is in our grasp.
Twenty
thousand years....!
Ah, I get spaced just thinking about it.
Good luck on the
Principia.
Ewige Blumenkraft! HAIL ERIS.
Love,
MAD MALIK
PS:
PRIVATE - Not for publication in The Principia.
We are
returning to the two Zwack Cyphers for classified
communications.
Herewith
your copy. DO NOT DIVULGE THIS INFORMATION -
SECURITY
E-5.
[note:
Graphic Cypher deleted DtC]
_____________________________________________________________
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
Part
Five The Golden Secret
NONSENSE
AS SALVATION
The
human race will begin solving it's problems on the day that it
ceases
taking itself so seriously.
To that
end, POEE proposes the countergame of NONSENSE AS
SALVATION.
Salvation from an ugly and barbarous existence that is
the
result of taking order so seriously and so seriously fearing
contrary
orders and disorder, that GAMES are taken as more
important
than LIFE; rather than taking LIFE AS THE ART OF
PLAYING
GAMES.
To this
end, we propose that man develop his innate love for
disorder,
and play with The Goddess Eris. And know that it is a joyful
play,
and that thereby CAN BE REVOKED THE CURSE OF GREYFACE.
If you
can master nonsense as well as you have already learned to
master
sense, then each will expose the other for what it is:
absurdity.
From that moment of illumination, a man begins to be free
regardless
of his surroundings. He becomes free to play order games
and
change them at will. He becomes free to play disorder games just
for the
hell of it. He becomes free to play neither or both. And as the
master
of his own games, he plays without fear, and therefore
without
frustration, and therefore with good will in his soul and love
in his
being.
And
when men become free then mankind will be free.
May you
be free of The Curse of Greyface.
May the
Goddess put twinkles in your eyes.
May you
have the knowledge of a sage,
and the wisdom of a child.
Hail
Eris. T'AI
___ ___
___
___
___ ___
_________
_________
_________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
THUS
ENDS PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA
This being the 4th Edition, March 1970,
San Francisco; a
revision
of the 3rd Edition of 500 copies, whomped together in
Tampa
1969; which revised the 2nd Edition of 100 copies from Los
Angeles
1969; which was a revision of "PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA or
HOW THE
WEST WAS LOST" published in New Orleans in 1965 in five
copies,
which were mostly lost.
If you
think the PRINCIPIA is just a ha-ha, then go read it again.
(K) ALL RIGHTS REVERSED - Reprint what you like
Published
by POEE Head Temple - San Francisco
" On The Future Site of Beautiful
San Andreas Canyon"
Office
of My High Reverence
Malaclypse
the Younger KSC
OPOVIG
HIGH PRIEST POEE
KALLISTI
THE
LAST WORD
The
foregoing document was revealed to Mal-2 by the Goddess
Herself
through many consultations with Her within his Pineal Gland.
It is
guaranteed to be the Word of Goddess. However, it is only fair to
state
that Goddess doesn't always say the same thing to each listener,
and
that other Episkoposes are sometimes told quite different things
in
their Revelations, which are also the Word of Goddess.
Consequently,
if you prefer a Discordian Sect other than POEE, then
none of
these Truths are binding, and it is a rotten shame that you
have
read all the way down to the very last word.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
DISCORDIAN
SOCIETY
Dedicated
to an Advanced
Understanding of the Paraphysical
Manifestations
of Everyday Chaos
DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE A LOPSIDED PINEAL
GLAND?
Well,
probably you do have one, and it's unfortunate because
lopsided
Pineal Glands have perverted the Free Spirit of Man, and
subverted
Life into a frustrating, unhappy and hopeless mess.
Fortunately,
you have before you a handbook that will show you how
to
discover your salvation through ERIS, THE GODDESS OF CONFUSION.
It will
advise you how to balance your Pineal Gland and reach
spiritual
Illumination. And it will teach you how to turn your
miserable
mess into a beautiful, joyful, and splendid one.
POEE is
a bridge from
PISCES
to AQUARIUS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
the
Words of the Illuminated Rated
X... NATURALLY
Why are
we Here ? SUPPRESSED
KNOWLEDGE
Have
you ever secretly HYGIENE
wondered
why the Great The Lord
promised:
"Therefore,
Pyramid
has five sides? - behold, I will bring evil
upon
counting
the bottom? the house of
Jeroboam and
will
cut
off from Jeroboam him that
GRAND
OPERA pisseth
against the wall..."
"Wherefore
my bowels shall sound
-I Kings 14:10 (This
like a
harp for Moab, and mine unsanitary
practice
caused
inner
parts for Kirharesh." serious
erosion of the mud
-Isaiah 16:11 walls)
Face to
fact with the mighty forces and elements of nature, the
thoughtful
man
fearlessly
contemplates his place in the great cosmic scheme.
-><- POEE -><-
YES,
I'd like to know the Five Simple Actions that will turn Me into a
"Mental
Wizard" in a Single Weekend.
Warning!
Prolonged
use in a darkened room may induce hallucinations or
trigger
undesired side effects. Should not be used in the presence of
persons
subject to epilepsy.
THIS MAY BE THE MOST IMPORTANT GUIDE IN YOUR LIFE!
-THE GODDESS ERIS PREVAILS-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
SPECIAL AFTERWORD
to the Loompanics Edition of PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA
G.H.
Hill, San Francisco, 1979
All Rites Reversed (K) Reprint What You Like
INTERVIEW WITH NORTON CABAL
by Gypsie Skripto, Special Correspondent
It has been ten years since I net the
mysterious Malaclypse the
Younger.
I was free lancing for the underground papers and went to
POEE
Hear Temple at 555 Battery Street to try for an interview.
I found him in the Temple PO Box busy wrapping
up the new
Fourth
Edition of PRINCIPIA. He seemed impatient with me, insisting
that he
didn't have the time or inclination for foolish questions from
reporters.
Undaunted, I burst out with questions like whether he
preferred
Panama Red or Acapulco Gold and how the fuck did we
manage
to fit inside of a tiny post office box and other things apropos
a naive
young semiliterate dropout hippy writer. He asked me if I
wanted
to drop mescaline and fuck all night and said he knew how to
turn
himself into a unicorn and there might be room for a tiny
interview
on the cover of the PRINCIPIA if I wanted to work for the
GREATER
POOP so I said sure, OK, I've never dropped mescaline in a
post
office box before.
It turned out I was among the last to see
Malaclypse. As
subsequent
issues of GREATER POOP revealed, he was to disappear
and
POEE business was to be assumed by his students at Norton
Cabal.
Professor Ignotum P. Ignotius, Department of Comparative
Realities,
was assigned the Trust of the POEE Scruple and Rev. Dr.
Occupant
became Keeper of the Box. The newly published copies of
PRINCIPIA
were distributed by Mad Malik, Block Disorganizer, who
had
distribution contacts with the Aluminum Bavariati. Practical
relations
remained in the hands of concept artist G. Hill.
When the 1000 PRINCIPIAS were gone the
GREATER POOP
stopped
publishing, Head Temple closed down and the Cabal just
seemed
to evaporate. Finally even the box was closed. But over the
years I
noticed that copies were still circulating, and that
independent
Discordian Cabal would occasionally pop out of nowhere
(and
still do ). And I would wonder what ever happened to
Malaclypse.
When I read the ILLUMINATUS trilogy I
resolved to again find
and interview
the denizens of Joshua Norton Cabal of the Discordian
Society.
* * *
As I cabled over Nob to San Francisco's
Station 'O' Post Office I
couldn't
help but wonder at Goddess' hand in assigning street
addresses
to Her outposts. Mal2 had told me that Good Lord Omar
always
filed everything under "O" for OUT OF FILE.
"Maya is marvelous" I was
thinking when I rapped on the little
metal
door and was greeted warmly by a huge beard who introduced
himself
as Professor Ignotius. He ushered me into a spacious wood
paneled
and tapestry hung parlor where three others were laughing
and
passing around a wine jug. The sunny one in a tunic was the
Reverend
Doctor Occupant, the trim khaki and jeans was Mad Malik
and the
wine jug claimed to be Hill. I got the recorder on....
GYPSIE
SKRIPTO [in response to a question]: ...1969 but only briefly. I
guess I
missed you guys.
MAD
MALIK: No wonder, he was pretty much a one man show then.
We were
just his students and were usually off on errands. You
worked
for the POOP?
Gypsie:
Well, for one night anyway. The interview is in the
PRINCIPIA.
REV.
DR. OCCUPANT: Malik was the only one he would ever let write
for the
POOP or get on the letterhead.
Gypsie:
Did you [Malik] have higher authority than the others?
Malik:
No, [but I was allowed to speak in the POOP] because
[Malaclypse
the Younger] hated politics. He was infuriated with
Johnson
and nixon over Viet Nam because it was turning the
renaissance
into a political revolution and was stealing his sacred
thunder.
So he trained me in Zenarchy, which he learned from Omar,
and I
was the official anarcho-pacifist for the Cabal. Also I was
liaison
to The Ancient Illuminated Seers of Bavaria, the Chicago
Discordians.
Later Omar activated the Hung Mung Cong Tong and ELF,
on
zenarchist principles, and also Operation Mindfuck. I was also into
those.
Though at the time I was masquerading in GREATER POOP as a
created
cabbage to throw off the FBI.
Gypsie
[to Hill]: Since you wrote it, I take it you are an anarchist?
G.H.
Hill: Since then I have given up anarchy. Too many rules--
hating
the government and all that stuff.
IGNOTUM
PER IGNOTIUS: It's like hating your own fantasies.
Malik:
[Anarchy] is also standing up and proceeding forward, fantasy
rule or
not. The condition is the same.
Occupant:
Brother needs some wine!
Malik:
We have had this argument before, Reverend Doctor Brother.
But
wine before platitudes, fill it up.
Gypsie
[to Hill]: And pacifism?
Hill:
I'm not sure I ever was one. Mal2 was not, Malik was. Personally
I
accepted self defense yet I could never reconcile that with the
ideal.
I finally gave up on that one too. Actually I just gave up on
idealism.
Ignotius:
Idealism lives with rules. Realism lives with rocks.
Hill:
Yeah. I get along better with rocks.
Malik:
Mal2 once told me that pacifism was a dilemma. If everybody
was a
pacifist then everything would be perfect. But nobody is going
to be a
pacifist unless I am first. But if I am and somebody else is not, then I get
screwed.
He said that there were five choices under that
circumstance.
The first was napalming farmers and the second was
executing
your parents. The third was hypocrisy, the fourth was
cowardice,
and the fifth was to swallow the dilemma. Zenarchists are
trained
in dilemma swallowing.
Occupant:
So are other Erisians, like POEE.
Ignotius:
That is characteristic of the Discordian perspective.
Hill:
But of course training contradicts Discordian principles.
Malik:
Oh so what. Contradictions are nothing to Discordians.
Occupant:
Dilemma, Schilmemma. [to Gypsie]: What do you think of
this,
pretty ma'am? We don't get to hear your thoughts.
Gypsie:
I'm reporting now, you talk.
Occupant:
Later then?
Gypsie:
Perhaps. Later.
Occupant:
You are smiling.
Gypsie:
Hey, guy, later. [to Hill]: Doesn't this leave you a little schizy?
Hill:
It's OK, I'm half Gemini.
Gypsie:
What's the other half?
Hill:
Taurus. That makes me a stubborn schizy.
Ignotius:
I'm a Whale.
Occupant:
I choose Satyr.
Malik:
Spirits don't have signs.
Hill: A
character can have a sign if I want it so.
Occupant:
Well I can have a sign if I want to and screw both of you.
Malik:
Come on Greg, you just think that we are your characters....
Occupant:
You were inhabited by Malaclypse the Younger. He caused
you to
create roles and those roles are being performed by us spirits.
Ignotius:
A perfectly normal pagan relationship.
Hill:
Well you can look at it like that if you want to, but I created
Mal2 to
my specifications just as I conceived all the rest of you.
Occupant:
You didn't invent Eris. She caused you to think you created
the
spirit
of Malaclypse.
Hill:
Oh bull! Besides, I changed her so much the Greeks would never
recognize
her.
Occupant:
That's what She wanted!
Ignotius:
Deities change things around all the time.
Malik:
What you don't realize is that a spirit has a self identity.
Hill:
Nope. A spirit is a product of definition and the one who is doing
the
defining around here is me. Your identity is what I say it is. Just
to
prove it, I'm going to change your name.
SINISTER
DEXTER: It's OK with me. Fate is fate. I never much liked
"Mad
Malik" anyway.
Ignotius:
Besides people confused him with Joe Malik in
ILLUMINATUS.
Dexter:
I sort of enjoyed the confusion part.
Occupant:
Doesn't prove anything anyway.
Gypsie:
That name sounds familiar. Where is it from?
Hill:
Its a name I came up with in the old days and never used it
much.
Its on page 38 of the PRINCIPIA referring to Vice President
Spiro
Agnew. I always thought I invented it but now it sounds like a
Stan
Freberg name now that I think about it. It may have stuck in
my
preconscious memory from early TV.
Gypsie:
Can you use it without his permission?
Hill:
If it is his? I don't know. I hope so. it means "left right" in Latin
and is
a perfect name for a libertarian anarchist. Actually in my kind
of art
the question of what can I use freely and what can I not is a
very
tricky problem.
Gypsie:
How do you mean?
Hill:
Well, take a collage for example. Like the early one on page 36
of the
PRINCIPIA. Each little piece was extracted from some larger
work
created by some other artist and published and maybe
copyrighted.
I find them in newspapers and magazines mostly. Often
from
ads. With a collage you select and extract from your
environment
and then assemble into an original relationship.
The
PRINCIPIA itself is a collage. A conceptual collage. All of it
happens
simultaneously. But visually it is a montage, passing through
time,
like a book does.
There
is a lot of pirated stuff in the PRINCIPIA, especially in the
margins.
But also I sympathize with artists who must own and sell
their
works to earn a living. Art, like knowledge, should be free
fodder
for everyone. But it isn't It is perplexing.
Gypsie:
Where did all the things in PRINCIPIA come from?
Hill:
Well, a full answer would take another book in itself. Most of the
writing
credited to a name is a true person and almost always a
different
name means a different person. Most of the non-credited,
you
know, Malaclypse, text is mine although some things credited to
either
Mal2 or Omar were actually co-written and passed back and
forth
and rewritten by each of us. The marginalia, dingbats, and
pasted
in titles and heads and things came from wherever I found
them--some
of which is original but uncredited Discordian output,
like
the page head on 12 and other pages which is from a series of
satiric
memo pads from Our Peoples Underworld Cabal. All page
layout
is mine and some whole graphics like the Sacred Chao and the
Hodge
Podge Transformer are mine but mostly I just found stuff and
integrated
it. Mostly I did concept, say 50% of the writing, 10% of the
graphics,
all of the layout.
Gypsie:
Specifically, what are some of the sources?
Hill:
Weel, the poem on the front cover is by Walt Kelly and was
spoken
by one of his characters in Pogo. The government seals
starting
from page 1 are from a book of sample seals from the U.S.
Government
Printing Office. Western Union on page 6 got into the act
because
I used to be a teletype operator and had access to blank
forms.
Rubber stamps came from all over the place and some, like
the
apple on page 27, I carved myself. A few I ordered to my
specification,
like on page 1. The quote on the top of page 8 might be
from
Barnum, I'm not sure. The jumping man on page 12 is from an
advertisement.
I recognize the style--a popular commercial artist--
but I
don't know his name. The Chinese on the page is a grocery ad, I
think.
The Norton money on page 14 is historic,plus my little
additions.
The apple on page 17,as well as the triangle on 23 and the
Sacred
Chao on 50 are, believe it or not, pasteups of mimeographs,
from
Seattle Cabal. That group produced the best damn
mimeography
I've ever seen. The Lick Here Box on page 23 is one of
many
tidbits making the rounds in alternative/underground
newspapers
in those days. Trip 5 page header on 29 was a chapter
title
in one of Tim Leary's books. The Knight on the bull with the TV
antenna
on his helmet on page 46 came from a very artistic
magazine
called Horseshit and put out by two brothers from Long
Beach.
I don't remember their names. Wonderful magazine.
Occupant:
Eris told Mal2 what to use and where to find it.
Hill:
Yeah, in a way that is right. That is why my name does not
appear
anywhere on the PRINCIPIA and why it was published with a
broken
copyright--Reprint What You Like. I knew I was taking
liberties
and didn't want my intentions to be misunderstood. It was
an
experiment and was intended to be an underground work and
that
involves a different set of ethics than commercial work.
Gypsie:
There are no real names at all?
Hall:
Oh, some. Camden Benares is a real name because he legally
changed
his original name to his Holy Name. Also, instead of using
Mordecai
Malignatus I used Bob Wilson's real name on page 12
because
Werewolf Bridge was a work before Discordianism. And of
course
real people like Neils Bohr crop up in quotes.
Gypsie:
What do you think about the PRINCIPIA now? Would you
want to
change it?
Hill: I
consider it a successful work and I wouldn't want to change it.
In some
ways it is immature and I am not the same person I was 10
years
ago, but it accomplished the objectives I set for myself and it
has the
effect I wanted it to have. There are a few errors though.
Gypsie:
Like what?
Hill:
Oh, I changed a quote from Tom Gnostic on page 61 and I don't
think
he ever did forgive me for it. He's right. Starbuck's Pebbles
should
have been preceded by the Myth of Starbuck which was
being
saved for something else and never got used. I should have
used it
when I had the chance. And then Eris did a neat little trick on
me by
having IBM make the Greek selectric typewriter element not
coincide
with all the characters on their keyboard. So the little
"kallisti"
that appears on the title page and lastly on the back cover
came
out "kallixti" and I was too dumb to know the difference.
Gypsie:
Will there ever be a Fifth Edition?
Hill:
There already is a Fifth Edition, by Mal2. It is a one page
telegram
that reduces everything to an infinite aum. I found it at
Western
Union where a machine got stuck and kicked out hundreds
of
pages of nothing but m's. He made it the Fifth Edition and then
left.
Principia/Malaclypse
was a very personal work for me and actually
took 10
years to culminate. it was one single statement that included
my
adolescence in the 50's and my young adulthood in the 60's.
When I
finally had the paste-ups done I knew that I had finished it.
That is
why, quote, Malaclypse left. I knew it was finished. I didn't
know
exactly what it was, but it was done.
Occupant:
See?
Gypsie:
Earlier you said that you met your objectives. Just what were
those
objectives?
Hill:
Well, that's hard to answer because it kept refining itself over
the
years. In 1969 I mainly though of myself as a cosmic clown and I
set out
to prove, by demonstration, that a deity can be anything at
all.
In
other words, people invent gods and not the other way around.
Later I
decided that I was doing some kind of conceptual art.
In the
50's my culture taught me that I was created by and for a
deity,
a specific male deity, and that all other deities are FALSE. Yet
my
growing experience showed me that any deity is true in some
sense
and false in some other sense. So I set out to do what my
society
told me is impossible--make a real religion from a patently
absurd
deity.
In the
50's a female deity was blasphemy. In the 70's a humorous
deity
is still considered impossible, ridiculous, and blasphemous. As
far as
I'm concerned, I have proven my point. Eris is a real deity and
even
though I don't promote Erisianism as a serious religion....
Occupant:
I do!
Dexter:
You speak for yourself.
Ignotius:
Here, here.
Hill:
...I do point out that it makes just as much sense from its own
perspective
as all the others do from each of their own perspectives.
Occupant:
I think paganism is a valid spiritual path. I encourage
Erisianism
because it makes fun of itself. i think this is healthy.
Ignotius:
If you can live rewardingly with Goddess Eris you can live
with
any deity, including none at all.
Dexter:
I don't much go for the worship business but I argee with
Occupant
about the spirit of the thing. We live in a time of turmoil,
the
whole planet is in a state of change. If we, as a species, cower
from
the confusion then we die with the dying. This is revolution.
Ignotius:
I am an athiest myself. There is no Greg Hill.
[laughter]
Gypsie
[to Hill] : What do you think of ILLUMINATUS?
Hill:
Oh, I love it. I was finishing PRINCIPIA when Shea and Wilson
were
working on ILLUMINATUS. It took Dell five years to publish
it...maybe
that is significant. The 1969 Discordian Society was a mail
network
between independent writers of various kinds. Norton Cabal
was
just me and my characters and I used the other Cabals as sort of
a
laboratory. In return other Discordians would bounce their stuff off
of me.
We would toss in ideas and anybody could take anything out.
It was
a concept stew. The exchanging of ideas and techniques
broadened
and encouraged all of us.
I like
ILLUMINATUS for the surrealism. A very effective method of
writing.
Ignotius:
I got misquoted. Worse, I wasn't even in that scene and if I
had
been then I would have said something else.
Dexter
[to Ignotius]: That was me in that scene.
Ignotius:
Oh, is that what that was?
Dexter:
He got our names mixed up.
Hill:
He got mixed up about me too, in COSMIC TRIGGER. Bob says that
when
Oswald was buying the assassination rifle, my girlfriend was
printing
the first edition of PRINCIPIA on Jim Garrison's Xerox. It
wasn't
my girlfriend, it was Kerry's; it wasn't the FIRST ED
PRINCIPIA,
it was some earlier Discordian thought; it wasn't
Garrison's
Xerox, it was his mimeograph; and it wasn't just before
Kennedy
was shot but a couple of years before that.*
The
FIRST ED PRINCIPIA, by the way, was reproduced at Xerox Corp
when
xerography was a new technoloGypsie. Which was my second
New
Orleans trip in 1965. I worked for a
guy on Bourbon Street who
was a
Xerox salesman by day.
Dexter:
I think that George Dorn took too much guff from Hagbard. If
someone
pulls a weapon on me, I'm more inclined to either leave or
kill
the sonofabitch.
Occupant:
You are supposed to be a pacifist.
Dexter:
I'm speaking figuratively of course. I'll tell you more
tomorrow.
Gypsie
[to Hill]: Did you really translate erotic Etruscan poetry?
Hill: Sure,
but I used a pen name. I signed it "Robert Anton Wilson".
[A
quick rap is heard on the door]
Gypsie:
I have only one question left...
Dexter:
I'll get it.
Gypsie:
...what I really want to know is how can we all fit inside of a
tiny
little post office box?
Dexter[to
Gypsie]:It's a telegram for you, from Mal2.
Gypsie:
To me?
[Paper
tearing]
Gypsie
[reading]: "If I told everybody how they could live inside of a
post
office box then everybody would stop paying landlords and go
live
inside their post office boxes. It would collapse the building! Can
you
imagine, post offices collapsing all over the country, the
hemisphere,
the PLANET! The whole world's communication system
would
be destroyed. No,no, I must not say. I dare not!
-------------
* I
checked this further with Mr. Thornley. He says that the woman
in
question was not his girlfriend, she was just a friend, and it wasn't
a
couple of years before Kennedy was shot but had to be a couple of
years
after (but before Garrison investigated Thornley). --GS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~
FIFTH
EDITION ODD#
Infinity
PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA
or
A CATERPILLAR'S PRAISE TO THE BUTTERFLY
being the
FINAL STATEMENT
of Malaclypse the Younger
published by Joshua Norton Cabal
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WESTERN UNION
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