Couches and Roaches

Well- for those of you whom had to suffer through a year or more in dorm life- you will certainly relate to this brief lil story. Think of the Volkswagon commercial with the guys picking up that recliner... Da-da-da:

Living at FAU's dorms for roughly 3 years (yes years, remember its in Boca so apartments cost a small organ) I had to acquire some things to make my living experience my pleasant. One of the first acquisitions my sophomore year was this couch. A hideous post disco brown, complete with these cheesy brass trim bars. Of course, from the roadside, it seemed like a hidden treasure- so anyways my roomie Sturts and I tossed this fine thing in the back of truck and lugged it up a few flights of stairs into our dorm- cell block 201-203.

Now this couch came with a set of problems we were not expected- it was full to the brim with bugs- mainly roaches. yes cucarachas. well all we had noticed at first was the Camel Light stench- we had had time to check under the pads- but days later when we had an outbreak of German militiant roaches- a full investigation was launched and our treasure couch was the HQ for Roach Central- the damn thing was chock to the brim with the critters who had then moved to new territories- perhaps a manifest destiny rendition, because they had taken over our suite area. Now of course we cleaned the couch out and fully nuked it with Raid (Berry scent) but by then the roaches had established themselves as illegal aliens. No green cards were issued. Border police and immigration were notified.

I remember coming back on night from a party- not drunk but overserved- and swore i saw a roach carry a beer out of my fridge. Sturts would come home drunk and start beating the roaches against the wall with a shelving board. Mitch would tell us drunken stories of how he ate roaches in boot-camp.
After a month of constant roach genocides and ruthless executions- the roaches retreated to our neighbors across the hall. The battle was won and the couch lasted a whole year through other cruel and unusual punishments such as drunkards drooling in their sleep on it- spilt beer (a travesty in itself) and ugly alcohol induced hookups (we have the video footage still on some of those!). By the end of the spring term- this couch had seen its last life and it ended up mysteriously in one of the dorm parking lots (my idea to put it on the administration lawn was curtailed by the fact that the couch was falling apart).
About an hour ago- once again in dormitory spirit- for some reason I had the urge to grab another couch (luckily this one was a sectional) and im gonna go check right now to see if a roach army is entrenched...though i couldnt get the whole couch in Menchers truck, we got 2 out of 3- the middle piece is now next to the front doot of my friend Suzy's apartment so when she reads this it will be sitting out there- chilling out. Of course she doesnt quite know its there yet- but thats just details- its the thought that counts.

(Seth's other original dorm couch survived four years before wear and tear took its toll)