Frisbee Golf with Mencher

There are just times that ya gotta say “no” to cheap watered down beer and blaring dance music. Ya gotta do something totally whack and unusual here and there. So with that in mind, I will explain just such a mindless activity called Frisbee Golf.

First- you must do this at night, its just no fun during the day. Besides the odds of hitting pedestrians who are just innocent bystanders is greater as is the chances of you looking like more of an idiot. Plus I just don’t like to drink during the day.

Now you need at least one other person, one with some sense of coordination who can trek about two miles. Once you have your competition lined up, ya gotta get Frisbee’s. I recommend not using one that has sentimental value or that cost more than a buck. Do not try and buy one in Gainesville after 10PM. Do not goto the following places: Winn Dixie, Albertsons, Wal-mart. A Walmart employee informed us that “Frisbee’s were out of season.” What the fuck? Its not like they are damn strawberries or something (wait, that’s another story all together!) Its not like they expire or go bad.  I suggest boycotting these stores of suppression and capitalism.

However you can get free ones. Just about any decent chain pizza place has got ‘em. Now this was Mencher’s idea, not mine. So we drive to Domino’s Pizza but he didn’t wanna go in because Phi Beta Sigma fraternity was in there- the wuss. However we did goto Papa Johns on Archer who didn’t have them but said the one on University did. So we go over there to Papa Juan’s and Mencher comes back with 2 cheap-ass Frisbees. Don’t boycott them, I like pineapple pizza.

Now the rules are pretty simple. I suggest mandatory drinking,a good drink or 5 will suffice. Its simple- pick a target to hit, preferably a non-living or moving one (like a RTS bus). For golf lingo, say “Gate 12, that’s about a 4 par” Pick some hard and creative targets, but try and avoid hazards such as lakes, trees, stadiums, and police. A college campus is the ideal setting as there are plenty of things to nail.

You can keep track of who wins each round and the scores if you want, though this requires additional coherence and mathematical competency. Try not to say “I’m Tiger Woods” too often however being loud and obnoxious is certainly entertaining.

Streets can be dangerous because for some reason cars seem to get in the way. Me, I am not exactly the Frisbee coordination king and often I came near death. See, you have to throw your Frisbee wherever it lands. That includes the middle of roads, such as 13th Street. Cars don’t seem to be receptive to you playing through a round…one unruly Accord ran Mencher’s Frisbee over.

Avoid targets that are over 15 feet high, such as light posts (we chose one near the Hub). Just imagine a pair of idiots trying to throw a Frisbee straight in the air. Talk about a boomerang effect. I almost scalped myself.

You will undoubtedly see nature’s finest species out there. Besides rabid squirrels, you will see some whacks. We saw this one guy stand on his head for minutes meditating in the ceramic lab while another group of students was playing baseball (using real bats) in the Building Construction building. However plan on attracting some attention- we were told several times how cool we were. But that doesn’t hold much weight coming from some drunks or loners walking around UF on a Saturday night.

Be careful of your targets and destruction. One of my less better judgments was using the AZD house as a par 7. While we didn’t hit a window Mencher came close,but lucky for us they didn’t come out and beat our ass. These jazzy mid aged drunks across the street thought we promoting Pappa Johns pizza. I don’t think they had enough blotter.

It is inevitable that one of your Frisbee’s will vanish in its own Bermuda Triangle. For some momentary lapse in coordination, I roofed one on Mallory dorm. So mental note, carry back up. Mencher later sank one in the depths of hell near the stadium…but we didn’t pay for the damn things so no loss there.

-Seth would give “golf club” a totally new meaning…