By SMF 1998 
Author note: One of my fave ones I ever wrote.

Ok, so Ive been a slacker lately. But I had this major mid term and for once I decided that it would be nice to study a bit. Well its all over now and Ive been having this delusional thoughts lately. I hope you enjoy this scholarly piece of literary work.


So there ya are- its Saturday morning and back then, you were up at 9AM. (I know some of us are just coming home, or releasing last nights hedonism in the toilet). But hey, youre 7 or 8 years old. Can ya remember?

Good, so youre eating your Booberry crunch waiting for the little blue guys to come on the air....Yes the Smurfs. Lah-lah-la-la-la-la   la-la-la-la-la...You all know the theme song!

So lets think about this- Ya got a 100 guys and one woman! Plus you got these old
loonies such as Gargamel and his low IQ kitty Azarael. Im sure the thing has rabies, he was always drooling. And the old man, well Im sure he waits by the bus everyday waiting for someone in pigtails to take back to the lab.

But lets get to the point. Im sure Smurfette is no virgin. I mean, cmon- 100 dashing smurfs! Look theres Hefty and Im sure he is a bed rocker, unless he is on steroids, well then he's a "short-short man." Vanity is always thought was one of those who thought was gay, but really is just a little femine. I bet he is a bed room animal.
Brainy smurf- what do you think that book he carries around is??? Its the Kamu Sutra! This guy is probably into some deviant stuff involving duct tape and leather essentials. Handy smurf is obvisouly handy for some reason- guess what that is?
Pappa smurf is pretty much a voyeur and just has a hidden videocamcorder so he and grandpa smurf can remember what it is like. Baker smurf-well lets just say he's got something cookin' in the oven- all the time! This was the "Smurfy way to do things"  I BET!  Those little horn-balls.

And Smurfette is living every woman's fantasy, I mean she's the sole object of attention here and everyone wines and dines her. She has 100 willing Smurfs to do whatever it takes. Thats why she has such a big grin on her face all the time. Smurfette hooks up more than all cartoon characters.

Seth's list of Smurfs that didn't make the grade:

Roofie Smurf
Inbred Smurf
S&M Smurf  ("I said, who is your daddy?")
Necrophiliac Smurf ("Wanna play dead?)
Puff Daddy Smurf
Mad Dog 20-20 Smurf ("It's only 2.98 a bottle")
3-Some Smurf
Glue Sniffer Smurf ("Where's the Elmers")
GTA Smurf (See an old Eazy-E album)
Raver Smurf
Kosher Smurf
Cannibal Smurf aka Tyson Smurf   ("You gonna eat that?")
Hangover Smurf   ("I never will drink again...")
Phat Smurf
Frat Boy Smurf  ("Thank you, Sir, may I have another!")
Porn Star Smurf

Ok, well Im just out of control here so I better end it. So to everyone, have a Smurfy day as always, I hope this brought a smile to your faces...
as always-Seth

(Seth does not condone the activities of Smurfette, no matter how deviant they are)