A comparison of Michigan versus Florida. As written by yours truly after some keen observations. In Michigan, people try to hit deers with their cars. In Florida, people try to avoid being hit by 80 year tourists from Michigan. In Michigan, camouflage is runner up to primer as the state colors. In Florida, fake-boob flesh is next to ugly-ass pink flamingo as the state colors. In Michigan, the beer of choice is the cheapest on the shelf. In Florida, there are alotta fine shelves, but they cost more than 2.99 a 2 pack. In Michigan, rust on your car is a sign that your from around here. In Florida, add ons such as fuzzy dice, gold rims, and “I ain’t no hoochie” stickers signify you’re a Floridian. In Michigan, every rinky dink town has a ton of auto part stores. In Florida, every town has a plastic surgeon. (“dealer add on!) In Michigan, the idea of a good party is when Jed raises his Pabst Blue Ribbon in the air and says, “Hey all, watch this!” In Florida, Jed would be on the floor of someones apartment with lipstick on his face and a cell phone number. In Michigan, “Carhardts” (or whoever you spell it) is the designer of choice. In Florida, its whatever fancy Italian designer from SoBe is in style. In Michigan, you call a large group of people outdoors a 4-H Fair. In Florida, you call it a rave. In Michigan, you can buy deer urine. In Florida- F That, we don’t find CK Bambi all that desirable, however we do have Gatorade. In Michigan, there is a city called Hell. In Florida, we have something similar, its called Waldo. In Michigan, all you do on a weekend is drink and screw. In Florida, all you do on a weekend is drink, screw and then go to the beach the next day. In Michigan, my dating life has been like Moses wandering around for 40 years in the desert. In Florida, it was the land of Milk and Honey. In Michigan, they claim they kicked Florida’s ass in the NCAA finale. In Florida, we say “we were hungover from our pre-victory party”