Internet Translations V3.3
By a MaiKaiFish
By popular demand the sequel to V1.0. Once again, what you read online is not what you get! (Based on my many hours of conducted research).
“Oh I never go into chat rooms” = “I am that asshole in the chat rooms that says “Any hot hoochies wanna trade pics with a NY stud?”
“Haven’t seen you on in awhile” = “My computer sends off a siren when you get online so I can make lame ass attempts at trying to get your digits.”
“Haven’t seen you on in awhile” = WHAT YOURE THINKING “Yeah you freak, I must have misspelled your name when I tried to put your ass on block”
“I’m thinking about going back to college” = “Cosmotology school here I come!”
“Fraternities are ok” = “I was a total tool and even the toolshed fraternities wouldn’t take me. But once I went to a house party and I saw some beer in the fridge 2 and a whole bunch of girls showed up but I think they were 16. Crazy, I know, but a true story”
“Sororities are ok” = “Those girls wouldn’t even give me time of day. Wenches. That’s the last time I buy them drinks”
“I smoke occasionally” = “I will walk out of serious rounds of nook and have a smoke break” (true story here! Don’t do this at home)
“Ok put me on your buddy list” = “Ok, I will put you on my block list, freak”
“I’ve never met anyone online” = “I’ve met more people online than in real life”
“I’ve got curves in all the right places” = “There isn’t a cheesecake I didn’t like”
“Wow, I like that too” = “I’m just saying this because I want to get in your pants. I don’t give a rat’s ass about your ugly mutt”
“You can find me online later” = “After I change my screen name, good luck.”
“All these guys IM me all the time” = “My user profile screams Easy Slut all over it”
“I just cant meet the right person” = “Why do I have so many restraining orders against me? Damn house arrest”
“Goodnight- talk to you soon” = “You’re my new online girlfriend!”
Seth hasn’t had to change his user name yet.