I had quite an eventful vacation this year in the motherland of Florida. I think I can best explain it in statistics, numbers, ratio’s and other numerical ways. I hope you all had a wonderful break, some good New Year’s stories and perhaps a resolution or two that you’ll keep longer than that nasty fruitcake some clown gave you for the holidays. Price of roundtrip ticket to Tampa: $68.50 (Northwest) Seat assignment from Kansas City – Tampa: 3A (Can you say…1st Class?) # of drinks consumed from KC to Houston: 4.5 # of times going to bathroom on plane: 1  at airport: 2 # of drinks consumed from Houston to Tampa: 2 # of skanky women wearing “Hooter’s Clearwater” t-shirts in 1st Class: 1 # of times “The Nanny” was shown on the flight:2 # of times I thought about shagging The Nanny rotten: 1 Time of arrival at Tampa Int’l: 12:43AM # of hot topless women we saw at Clearwater Beach:2 Time taken from parking lot to beach to see them: 30 seconds # of hotty bikini women: 12 MILTHS: 5 Distance walked to find an ATM at Clearwater Beach: 1 mile Distance to an ATM if we went “the other way” : 100 yards # of football games watched: 4 # of movies watched: 2 # of Bagel Bites eaten: 8 # of holiday cards my dog Pekoe almost ate: 2 Pounds of Pastrami he actually snaked off our kitchen counter: about ¼ Shoes he started gnawing on: 2 Other objects: 3 # of Tampa Bay Bucs we saw at the mall in Tampa: 1 Jacquez Green’s height: 5’8 $ amount of the 3 pair of socks I bought at the Republic: $13 $ amount of black sweater/shirt I got there: $19 Cost of that shirt in pesos: 1.9 million (ok, I don’t really know the exchange!) # of black shirts in my wardrobe: 10 # of times in past year  I said I wouldn’t buy any more black shirts: 3 Arrival time to New Year’s Party: 12:08AM # of people stuck in Chloe’s car because I didn’t know where we going: 3 # of people I hadn’t seen in 5 years: 2 Female to male ratio at party: 2:1 # of incriminating pictures taken: (haven’t developed my film yet!) Ratio of those that spent the night: 5:1 # of Triple X thoughts about that whole situation: -33- # of crappy weather days in Tampa: 5 # of times my other dog, Andi, took a #2 while I was walking her: 1 # of times I cleaned it up: 0 (it was a messy #2!!) Score of tennis match between me and my brothers girlfriend: 6-0 Score of the waffling I gave my brother in tennis: 6-1 # of times I have beaten him previously: 0 # of times he threw his racquet: 1 # of “victory dances” I did during the match: 10 # of Titanic comments I made about his game: 34 Lowest price of gas in Tampa: .87 cents Price in Boca: $1.16 Price in Lawrence, KS: $1.09 Price in Oslo, Norway: About 3 bucks a liter # of times my mom asked me how I could listen to music without words: 3 # of people of my grandfather called “Old Geezers”: 7 # of Beta’s who partied it up with me at Riverfront: 19 Length of Mooch and Marc Gurovs hair, combined: ½ inch # of girls I dated while at FAU who now make 3 times what I do: 1 Chance I now have with her: ZERO # time of departure from Las Olas diner: 3:50AM Size of salmon half serving at Red Lobster: 2 inches Size of salmon half serving I got after I said “where’s the rest of it”: 6 inches # of strippers we met Saturday night: 3 # of them whom were transvestites: 1 Odds of me singing a karaoke song: 1 in 10,000 Price of Mencher’s brother’s CD: $8 # of minutes after landing in KC that I wish I was back in Florida: Approx 5 Temperature upon arrival: 45 Time it took me to find my car in the parking lot: 10 Cost of parking for 12.5 days: $50 # of bottles of the Captain I could buy with 50 bucks: 4 (on sale) Price of my plane ticket once again: $68.50