I’ve been holding a secret for the last year. I’m rather ashamed of the truth, what is really going on in my relationship. I don’t know what to call it, some weird-sort of slave and master I believe. Of course, I’m the seme-uke, I guess.

Since I can remember, I’ve always been the dominant one in my relationship. Still am, but this one has a twist. It’ll take awhile to remember, but it will be worth it, believe me.

My hikari, Yugi Motou, always has had a crush on me. I’m his stronger half, and the yami-hikari is a package deal with any relationship. It’s just, I didn’t want him as he wanted me. My love life has been men, I admit that freely. The problem with us being in a relationship is that I take my job as his other half much more seriously than the other yamis do. To love Yugi may mean to break his heart if our love wasn’t true.

He doesn’t understand that. Finds as though I’ve turned him down each time he asks why there will never be an us but more of a He and I. If I had known he was persistent when he wanted something, maybe I wouldn’t have said no.

Little Yugi is, as they say, loving, adorable, and in all sense, uke. I can – could – never see him being dominant in any relationship, but he likes to be in control. It’s an odd mix, really.

He had turned seventeen (I myself turning the next age), and grandpa was called away for a month. I was to babysit Yugi, just to keep him company. No matter what age Yugi is, he doesn’t mind the company just hates the phrase babysitting. It was a usual night. It was storming that June day. So, after some of those ramen bowls and a late night horror film, this including Yugi’s adorable – yet flirting – eyes being on me most of the night, we had gone to bed. I made sure he went to bed in PJs, and then went towards my own room to go to sleep.

That night, I discovered how heavy of a sleeper I was. Somewhere from the time I fell into slumber, he snuck into my room, chaining me to my bed. I had awoken to my black nightshirt buttons being snapped, and his large eyes staring at my face.

“Aibou, what are you up to?” I had asked, expecting this to be some sort of joke. He ignored my question, using a steak knife to cut off my tight sleep pants. I began to worry; upon watching as his lust filled gaze over looked my body. Sweet innocent uke looked so…evil at that moment.

His hand, smoothly I might add, moved down my flat stomach, stomach at my belly where it turned inward, grinning playfully before rubbing my stomach. I’d be lying if I said I was not turned on by such an act. His pink lips bent down, pressing against my stomach before brushing up towards my nipples, to mainly taunt them with his tongue. Yes, I was turned on.

Any protest I had was coming to a stop, my lips were dry, and my throat ached as I stared down at him in shock. That petit pink organ moved upon my other tan nipple, playing with the nub until it, too, stood at full attention. My groin was already stiff upon watching each movement he did as he lowered his face to my stiff member. Each warm breath he took brushed the sensitive flesh, and I threw my head back, trying to return back to wherever I had turned in those moments.

“Aibou,” I said, trying to reach him, “please do not do this.” I was not naïve, I knew exactly where his lips were going as his tongue hesitantly licked the slit of my dick. My hips arched, my eyes rolling quickly. He was turning me on. He licked again, and then took my tip in his mouth, ministering those light movements upon my stiff dick.

I was flexing my arms at that point, trying to get into control on what he was doing. Kept reminding myself that I did not want such, which I was not enjoying what he had planned. Yet, as I almost freed my hand, he deep throated me, and all thought of escape were gone as I trusted my hips up to regain that moment of pleasure. He did it, and a moan left my lips. I was putty; he had me where he wanted to go.

It was rape, I’m certain. Yet, I didn’t care. I wanted him, but if I was certain, the sweet supposed-uke had plans on taking me.

Arching my hips again, I cried out as his mouth let my hot flesh, his hand running up my dick, almost kneading it before leaving me alone to was me deflate over a few minutes, then he started to knead it again. His fist started at my tip, lowering down towards my sacs before returning it, and I was lost, my mouth open in silent moans before he stopped again. Torture, blissful torture.

He pulled off my bed, and I watched him from the side of my eye as he began to remove his clothes, joyfully. He was fully erect, like myself. Anybody thought that his short figure would say he would be small down there, but he was almost as big as me. I awaited for him to push into me, but it wasn’t happening. I watched carefully as he started going through my drawers, his little butt shaking playfully.

“Yami-kun, where is your lotion?” He asked, as if not realizing what he was doing to me, and I was hesitant to tell him where. As my voice whispered out in my desk drawer, he squealed as he pulled it out, skipping back towards me, and an deflation I had, was once more hard when my eyes watched his bouncing shaft. I tried again, trying to urge him away from this, but it never went through him as he proved me wrong again.

His slick hand went to my shaft, moving the slick substance around it, prepping me up for what he hand planned. It was cold, I had shuttered when he first started, yet I had forgotten the chill as he started to knead my cock in his hands, one playing with my sacs, the other with my tip. I was in shock, been in that state for awhile as he climbed above my hips, not even daring to prepare his own little entrance as he slammed down on my cock with full force that had him crying.

As those tears started down his cheeks, I tried to fight the chains again. It was only reflex, to have to protect him from all dangers, especially those he inflicts upon himself. If I were no in this position, I would long ago pulled him against my chest and calm him. But I’m the victim of all this, and he is experiencing the pain. A weird rape, if I do say so myself.

He calmed after a few seconds and began to thrust his body down upon my stiff member, and all care for the world around me was long gone as my head threw back in a moan. My sweet uke was riding me. I was being raped, but I was enjoying every second of it. Ra, how things change over time. His little bottom moves forward as a pant escaped his lips, moisture moving down his body. Sweat was lowering from my own stiffening neck as I cried out. He was hot, nice and tight. The perfect body.

I mentally slapped myself. He was my hikari, I was to protect him, but I was letting him do something that would likely ruin the rest of his life. Amethyst eyes long since closed as he begins to rub himself, his derrière pushed further down upon me and he cried softly. Not a pained one that would quake the heavens, but one in pleasure as he repeated the action. I was no longer looking as I felt the blood moving through my groin, his butt muscles tightening around my straining cock. I won’t last long.

His voice is breaking as he arches his back, crying out as he comes on my chest, I came in him at the same time. It was a few minutes until he had the strength to climb off me, never meeting my eyes as he untied me and I prepared to roll into a ball, as if expecting all that to be a dream. His lips clamp against mine, but I never moved as he left the room, that night, feeling rejected.

That was how all of this started. Now, I sit under the Sakura Tree, Yugi in my lap. I bare a false grin as I pull his lips against my own in a kiss. This was how it needed to turn out. We bonded sexually (even though I was not as a participating subject), and to deny him any relationship at this point could lead to his suicide. What type of Yami would I be if I let that happen?

Our relationship isn’t much different from our first time. He’s a dominant uke. He loves to control me when I’m inside of him, and I have to admit, I love that side of him. The people around us, we all have secrets, maybe not like mine, but we have our own problems. Maybe one day we will tell, but today, we only suffer.

I’ve been holding a secret for the two years. I’m rather ashamed of the truth, what is really going on in my relationship. Only with those corporate enemies can I be the big bad CEO, but when I am with Jounouchi, my puppy, I dream of being the perfect boyfriend.

Understand that it is a dream, it is impossible with what turns him on, but I guess in an odd way, I’m what he wants. Sometimes, I question our relationships, to the lower levels of who is the abused and who is the abuser. His father had hurt him most of his life, just as my stepfather has done to me, but unlike me who has gotten over it and despises it, it’s a second skin to him. He desires to have it, so I give him what he desires. He could careless for flowers and chocolate, he’d rather have me leave rings around his wrist, to scare him, to make him know I own him.

I do believe that you are thinking just like most people, that I am the abuser. I don’t want to hurt him, he asks me to hurt him. He has asked me to hit him, and when I refuse, he starts a fight with me that has me hitting him. So, to avoid pain on my own, I go to many lengths to do just as he wants. He likes to be pinned down; it sends shivers down his spine to know I own every part of him, that I’m his jealous boyfriend.

I remember how all of this started, to think our relationship had started in such a way. Back then, we argued, he had been the only person who could ruffle my feathers. Around the summer, when everybody (except Jounouchi, from lack of money) was at summer camp, the mutt would come around my place with the excuse ‘I wanna see Mokie’. I originally thought that had been it, but the days I was home, he’d spend the most time with me. After awhile, I started to believe that he also was seeking company around his own age group. Truth was, he was nice to speak with. We didn’t talk about Kaiba Corp, or school. He didn’t bug me on my grades, or on being world best (didn’t mention Yugi, which I was thankful for). The two of us talked about everything besides that (mostly our family background).

The Brooklyn accent he used was not a phony; he had lived in New York until the sour age of ten when his father was sent to Japan. Domino was a pain to him, it being the cause of his parents to break up. America gave his father time off, the needed time for his parents to keep their relationship going, but Japan failed to help that. Both parents had grown further apart until there was no more.

Soon, I became aware of the abuse that Jounouchi suffered at home. When he was beat and such, with all his strength, he’d come to me, in seek of company. Hurt and comfort I guessed, but each time we met, we had sex. It wasn’t ‘passionate’, it was the complete opposite. He wanted me to take him hard, to pin him down – I was more than happy to do such.

As our relationship began to work, I pulled him out of his father’s home to give him the perfect relationship. I wanted to be his savior, his lover. But, as soon as he was away from his father, our sex life was not the same. He was often not in the mood. In that time, I read articles, books, and recommendations to replace the spark back into the sex life. Everything thing I did failed. He didn’t like the chance of being caught, he didn’t like dirty sex, it wasn’t working.

After awhile, I began to seek another chance to get him in the mood for our sex again. We laid in bed, in each other’s arms, as I whispered in his ear. Nothing made sense to me any more, I was a genius, but I could not tell what was happening to us. I couldn’t get rid of him, he was my love, I’d die before saying our relationship wasn’t working out (that’d be too much like his past). His lips were moving, uncertainly, before he sat up, staring down at me, and I had the feeling he was going to throw our relationship away.

“Kaiba,” that was it, he never called me that any more, and he always loved using nicknames, “I think I know why our relationship isn’t working…” He whispered.

“Please,” I placed a finger on his lips, silencing him from words I didn’t want to here, “don’t speak like that.” I couldn’t meet his eyes as I stared down upon my blanket.

“I ain’t dumping ya, Kaiba, so let me talk.” He smiled playfully, and I stared up mutely as I held him close once more, satisfied with those words. “I jus’ feel that the spark in missing. The abuse is missing. I swore to myself, I was not using you for comfort, but every time I left my dad’s house, I was hard and ready for you. Then, you would take me, as if I were a mere hooker, and I’d get harder, and the sex was wonderful.” He was blushing red, a cute color for his skin, if I do say so myself. “I want that again, Kaiba.”

“What do you want, puppy? To go back home to your father?” I asked, harshly. There was love in my tone, but I was angry that he would even think of returning home.

He shook his head silently, playing with his lips. “No, I want you to do that to me. I want pain…Kaiba. The flowers and sweet kisses are a nice gesture, but I don’t want what everybody else craves, I want what only the cruel Kaiba can give me.” Jounouchi was staring at me with those big eyes, and my anger was rising. I didn’t want him calling me Kaiba, or cruel. He was my love one, only they could see the true side of me – the sweet side that is. “Don’t hold back, Kaiba. Be your old self. Like when we swung them punches at school, you turned me on so much I would jump you.”

What little sanity I had left shot out the window as I took in what he said. Long ago, I had promised myself to never do anything that Gozaburo did to me, but those eyes were staring at me in sincerity, he wanted to be abused. For all my intelligence, I didn’t know what to do. I always wanted to make him happy, and Ra, it looked the only way to make him happy was to do the thing I said I could never do.

Lifting my hand, I placed all my strength into one blow, backhanding him off my bed. It stung, probably more for me, then to him. He pulled himself off the floor, a hand falling to his cheek with a grin. A sadistic bastard was what I had fallen in love with. I pulled myself out of bed, quickly turning my face from the emphatic look to one of a cold hearted bastard as I grasped his hair, pulling him up to look into my face. “This is what you want, puppy?” I asked him. He nodded, his cheek red from where I slapped him, eyes falling closed from the pain my yank was bringing. Yet, though all this, I could tell he was hardening.

Taking in a deep breath, I tried making another step to our love life, trusting his arms above him and held him down as my free hand grasped his upper thigh. Almost carelessly, I sat on his leg, placing all my weight to pin it down as I stretched his thigh painfully away from covering himself, and he cried out. Deep down I didn’t want to do this, but I wasn’t going to drop our chances together, he was mine.

Jounouchi threw his head back as I pressed my finger into his entrance, lowering my face down towards his. “You like not knowing what’s going to happen, isn’t it, puppy? This is the only way you’ll ever want to stay with me, and the only way I can be the best boyfriend, is to punish you like some whore.” Jounouchi was hardening at my words, my finger pressed into his entrance, giving me the satisfaction to see him cry out in pleasure. In return to being hurt, he wanted my comfort, plain and simple. Well, until someone would find out about us. He no longer looked lost to my passionate touches as I leaned down towards his mouth and attacked his lips with my own. My once chaste kiss no longer there, but a vicious claim to the reaches of his mouth, marking it as mine as I tasted his own velvet reaches.

This was doing a number on myself, I admit, my dick was constrained inside my pants as I stretched his small entrance with two of my fingers before slipping in my third. No mater how much he wanted pain, I could never give it to him with my entrance – it would be to much on my heart to watch him cry on my shoulder due to hard entrance. Almost like a cry from an angel, he lifts his hips to feel the pleasure my fingers on his prostate again.

I remove my fingers from his entrance, and applied lotion to his hand, placing it near my erection. “Prepare me, mutt.” I say harshly, and he whimpers, but it’s not in fear, but in great pleasure to what is the near future. His hand wraps around my cock, slicking the cold substance across me, and I was unable to hold a moan as he leans towards my tip, applying lotion to that as well. With a slap to his wrist, I give him reason to pull away as I position myself against his entrance. “Ready?” I whisper in his ear.

He nods, a soft cry escaping his lips as I push all the way into him, then put my lips on his to cover up whatever escaped his mouth. His stretch legs wrap around my hips, pushing me further into him until I can’t go in any further, and he cries out. Pulling my hips out, I immediately slam back into the warmth of his body, and he cries out again. “Jounouchi,” I touch his face, and he stares at me with great lust.

“I love you, Seto,” He whispered, equaling his trusts back towards me as I slammed into his prostate many times. His inner muscles squeeze around me, his body tensing, and I know he is coming. Grasping his cock between our bodies, I rub his balls, watching his head fall back, lips paling considerably. He’s at the pinnacle of passion, and I can tell as his body completely tenses in a freeze, and he came between us. The weeks of lust no longer haunted either of us for he had solved our dilemma. He’s my smart puppy. I jet my hips back into him, and with a startled moan, I washed his abused entrance with my sperm, before pulling out and staring down at him with a grin.

“Is that what my puppy needed?” I whisper in his ear, and he shudders, pulling me close.

“Abuse me like this, Seto.” His voice was hoarse, like it normally was after our passion – not mattering if he screams or doesn’t. “I want to be dominated. Love to feel helpless.” Those words are what I never thought he’d ever say, the puppy that didn’t let anyone hurt him, had asked me to.

That was how all of this started. Now, I sit under the Sakura tree, Jou in my arms dressed to cover bruises I had given him. I swore I didn’t want to lose him, ever. If beating him was the only way I could ever keep him, so be it. I was going to beat him, show my love, and then shower him with comfort sex. Our odd relationship.

If asked by the police why I’m hitting the ones I love, it’s not domestic abuse. It’s a kinky side of him that I want to fulfill because no one else could ever understand. The people around us, we all have secrets, maybe not like mine, but we have our own problems. Maybe one day we we’ll tell, but today, we only suffer.