:: faery wings ::

NOTICE OF REMOVAL

I shall be posting in tabulas from now on, due to some added conveniences which I am unable to provide for myself. Thank you for having been kind enough to visit me all the while, and I hope you will visit me at tabulas too!

This site will still be here, but will probably undergo some changes in terms of layout and function over time, as and when I think up some. Once again, thank you for visiting!

>> Go to my new blog!

Alright... Q&A time. Someone asked me which blog she should be reading now, although she reads both anyway. I do admit it's been confusing recently, over which blog my "fans" should be reading more regularly. Well, my answer to it is this: Here I post stuff that I would rather people read, where they won't waste time going through my ramblings in too much detail. Also, I do not post overly long entries here to avoid cluttering it up too much and end up archiving more than I should. Apparently, there IS a limit on Frontpage Express to the length of a page. And anyway I don't really like pages that go on forever, so I won't inflict them on you.

I just found that blogs really do reflect how people think. The way they write, in general. Pardon my use of these people as examples but, people like Mel ramble. Their thought processes are observable through a piece of prose and detailed in such a way that you can see the associations. The piece will not be structured and may involve a lot of run-on sentences that never seem to end but don't seem to really carry on into one another. In any case she doesn't have a very clear picture of what she wants to write before she actually sits down and writes it. People like Emily, now that's different all together. Emily thinks everything through before she actually sits down and writes her blog. She is careful about what goes into her blog. That may or may not be a good thing, cos it means you aren't getting all that you would by reading her blog as if you were talking to her, with all the various facial expressions etc.

And me? I really am not very sure, and I doubt the fairness of my passing a judgement on myself. Whereas I do strive for structure, and sometimes you can see my thought processes moving from topic to topic, it is inevitable that someone with my spontaneity should not be more whimsical at times. Although I do structure my whimsicality sometimes. Oxymoron? *shrug* Think about it. It's possible. It is also the Singapore government's ideal state of things. Think out of the box, inside a bigger box.

Haha... I have a heart of gold... well well... wonders will never cease. Saw this quiz on Emily's blog, or rather, when she was writing an entry. She got the crystal heart, while Siwei got a heart of stone. Knowing Siwei she is probably rather pleased to have it too. I think the poet one is off too... I mean, not that I can't be a quiet poet, but I can have upbeat, whimsical poetry too. And anyway you should just see the other results... they're just too silly to be really any kind of results.

As suggested by my title, I have just changed my bedlinen. In case anyone is still ignorant, I absolutely ADORE bedlinen with beautiful designs and rich textures. Which makes for a poor pocket. So if anyone ever is at a loss as to what gift to get me, well, take your pick from bedlinen, ankle socks, great gadgets (think laptops, handphones, cameras, speakers, mouse, PDA, webcam, Mac G4 Cube etc), modes of transport (cars, bikes etc - I don't have a licence but if you think highly enough of me to give them I will jolly well go learn), pets, and cash vouchers for books, food and shopping.

I am as of now waiting for Weiming to cook some tangyuan (God knows why) so he can settle down to watch a movie with me. I have only just downloaded a few, and am about to indulge in the rare luxury of actually sitting down to watch it on my computer. In fact, I should go so far as to say that I have never really done it in all my time staying in hall, save for The Sixth Sense and Dirty Harry (which I never understood) that time cos of module requirements. Long live xiaonan.com!!!

It's a deliciously lazy day thanks to the weather... no sun, but no rain either, because of the downpour yesterday that seemed neverending.

Before I start on anything else, I just wanna say: Thanks for all the encouragement and comfort peeps... i truly understand at last what it means to divide one's sorrows by sharing... and I can't help but feel very touched by what each of you have said, whether as a comment here on my blog or in person to me. I really appreciate your gestures of support in times when I feel troubled.

Things have more or less blown over at home, as you should know if you read yesterday's damnably long tabulas entry. As I mentioned there also, while it has blown over, I am still resolved to carry out my long-term plan, though the impetus to effect it is not as strong as a few days ago. I guess in a sense it is a good thing too... I can take more time to make sure I succeed. If there is anything strongheaded little me hates, it is to make up my mind to something, start it, and fail, only to go crawling back to the very people who made me start it. It simply does not sit well with my pride, which I know I would probably do well to get rid of or reduce but won't. Like they say, little people have big egos to compensate. *wry smile* Incidentally, Sher described the tabulas entry as "what an eyeful of blog", so if you are inclined to go read it, well, you have been warned.

It is raining like there is no tomorrow... The pouring has kept up all day, and not stopped at all... surely even rainclouds need a breather!?

My lil hamsters are SOOOOO cute! I'm calling them Do, Re and Me. Hahaha... cos they look like a set of notes, each one smaller than the next. Only three left now, we tried to reintroduce the babies to Piki, but he ended up killing one in just two bites, one to the neck and another to the side. The baby simply didn't stand a chance. Boy how I cried after witnessing the cruelty. Father killing son, and with such aggression that I simply found it hard to believe it was my docile old Piki. *wipe eyes*

Meme is making up for it though, by being extremely endearing. She fell asleep curled up in my palm this afternoon. She is just so sweet. Her eyes started opening just today. She looks scrawny and odd with her gangly legs, but I guess things will all shape up fine once she can see properly to eat and put on weight.

Tomorrow is the birthday of my mother. Oddly enough, I have never had any particularly strong attachment to my mother, any sort at all. Call me coldblooded, but my mother's conduct in my observation, reads like a manual on how to drive your husband away from heart and home, and how not to mother your children. Granted, they provide all things material for my upbringing, but to absolutely honest, I feel as if that is all I am indebted to them for.

I WISH I COULD!!!! And call me materialistic, but I would too, if I could survive outside on my own at this point of time. I could go to work. Or something. But something just prevents me from rebelling outright. In recent times, my dad really is driving me nuts. Funny how HIS excuses never work for anyone else except when he uses them. It is alright for him to be busy with his life and pursuing his interests on the side when others aren't allowed to. Or he makes up stories where they (the victims, so called) are almost always the deviant sexual protagonists with all sorts of wayward sexual exploits. I sometimes wonder what is going on in his head. Probably some wild colourful sexual orgy since he always makes it out such that everyone else is always thinking of sex in some perverted way when in reality its just him who is doing it. IT in every sense of the word. *roll eyes*

He has suddenly completely ruined my day. And made me more determined than ever to go for class in Friday. Which I needed to anyway.

I foresee a miserable weekend which I do not know, short of disowning my family, how to avoid without incurring more unpleasantry.

As usual, your friendly resident webmistress has archived everything. The pot pourri link.

Why is the topic 'vampire alert'? Because of my eyes, which are now so malevolently red that when Weiming saw me he got quite a fright cos I just woke up and he hadn't seen my eyes for quite a number of hours. So this is what happens when you don't close your eyes for long enough sleeping. For the record, I finished Wilkie Collins' The Woman in White in ONE night. I impress even myself. Yes, I didn't sleep a wink while I was at home all of last night, I only slept when I came back to hall. Whenever I go home, I just think, shit I really just wanna get married soon and move away. FOR GOOD. *sigh*

And at the very least I have slept away that terrible inclination of mine ot speak like the book I have just read. Call it an affectation if you will. I just have an odd tendency to starting to think in the syntax of the book I was reading while I am reading it, or after reading it, in particular books from the 18th and 19th century. IS THERE SOMETHING INHERENTLY WRONG WITH ME?

Did I mention Momo had babies? They are now just over a week old... Maybe I didn't mention them cos I thought they might not survive, didn't wanna get attached to them. Well anyhow there were still 4 left at last count, though she ate two earlier last week.

And of course I am procrastinationg something else again since I am writing my blog. I am putting off the inevitable task of doing my CS tutorial (due tml morning online) and paying my starhub bill (all $100 overdue dollars of it). And then I am going back to sleep again. YES.

My brain is a blank. Everything is moving just a little slower than it ought to be. I can hardly even form my sentences properly. Every sentence is an effort of epic proportions. I think I will just give up and not tax my little brain anymore. It needs rest.