24may2004monday
NO my mother didn't die. *mutter mutter*
everything sucks. just go away lah.
17may2004monday
has it been five days? -.- feels so long. there's a sense of everything being stretched infinitely...my days are filled with emptiness! i can't remember what i've been doing at all. getting old, getting old. LOL.
went to serangoon central after school today, with siew tee. No afternoon pe, since the guys are having their napfa tests. I am utterly envious of how far they can jump for SBJ. Grrrr. anyway, we sat at mac's where i had two terrible ice cream cones. the twenty five cents is probably 250g of fat. EACH. argh. was my therapy anyway, so i guess i shouldn't feel bad about it. Greyness is drenching my life, and i do not know what to do. LOL. need to mope until i find some sort of satisfactory explanation to this, or its lifted from me. Need to be alone a bit. sorry.
on a brighter note, i managed to laugh till i cried during chinese. damn funny, chinese class. i think i may actually start looking forward to them. They are dreadfully mind numbing, but its a break from the brain strain of econs, and i enjoy chinese lah, quite. hahaha.
i have decided to try and look at life with a "half full" attitude. everyday i will try and blog about one good thing that has happened. starting small. i should like to be more positive. was reading the article on environment that ng boon sin gave out, and was terribly cynical about whatever the guy said. sheesh. -.- oh yes. ng boon sin cracks me up too. me and ginny were just laughing our heads off at her. shhh. please someone shoot me if i end up a teacher, especially if i'm as bad as her.
12may2004wednesday
My mother told me once before, that during the Hungry Ghost Festival there'd be those gigantic moths in the house. They were supposed to be the spirits of the departed, who've come back to watch over their loved ones. 10may2004-- was really depressed. the thought that i'd spent her anniversary doing nothing brought me close to tears, the closest i've been for a while. like what jo said,
"apparently i hafn gotten over it as much as i thot i had.
eight years. has it really been that long?
10th may."
was feeling pathetically miserable. switched off the computer, went out of the room to head back to mine. what did i see in the corridor?
a moth
calmly, quietly sitting on the wall, just beside my head as i walked past.it wasn't one of those gigantic moths...just small and brown. was she trying to let me know she didn't blame me? hope so.
i am intensely moved.even if it is just me thinking too much.
if moths represent souls, she came back to say it's okay
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