A Good Communication Skill Building a Meaningful Relationships
Between partners, communication should not be limited to sharing one's thoughts. Expressing one's feeling is also necessary. Effective communication involves sharing whatever matters to both partners, either directly or indirectly, by verbal or non-verbal means. As our Asian ways of expressing ourselves are often indirect and non-verbal, we need to be more aware of these non-verbal expressions.
We need to bear in mind that men and women may differ in the way they communicate. Men tend to be less verbal and too focus on reasoning. Generally, women are more expressive with feelings and words (note: does not apply to all gals coz I happen to know one sob sob )
Communication is not easy. It is a two-way process of sending and receiving messages. It requires careful listening and appropriate responses. It is important to realise that what one partner says to the other may not be received in the way intended.
For example, Susan wanted to find out what her husband did in the day in order to know more about his work. She asked,"What have you been up to" To her husband Jim this question sound interrogative. So Jim replied harshly, " What do you mean? I have been working!" and turned away. What Susan attempted to communicate was concern. But Jim received it as unwelcomed interrogation.
A message may be received differently from its intended meaning. How a message is communicated gives meaning to it. The tone of voice, choice of words, facial expressions and body movements that accompany the delivery of the spoken message affect the receiver's interpretation of what is being communicated. The sender has not effectively communicated till the message is accurately received by the receiver.
In the above example, Susan might have raised her voice and look impatient when she asked Jim the question, causing him to interpret the question negatively. Jim, on the other hand, might have been troubled and tired and hence responded to her question without much thought.
The receiver's mood, perception and interpretation also play a part in the communication process. Thus consistency between the verbal and non-verbal messages, clarification and feedback are essential for effective communication.
Like Susan and Jim, you need to be aware of your styles of communicating with one another, change unhelpful ways and develop effective communication skills. The goal is to convey thoughts and feelings to each other clearly and directly in culturally appropriate ways.
You can learn to share with each other at deeper level. Although you may begin to communicate at a safe and superficial level, you should work at sharing ideas, opinions and feelings which you normally do not disclose to others.
As you communicate effectively at deeper levels, you will build trust and strengthen the bonds of love.
Guidelines for Improving Communication