Vespa Scooter

If I had the chance.. and... " mood " .. I might want to take my basic theory... cuz.. I am thinking of getting off.. getting a small scooter.. just for the sake of transport.. well.. isn't it convenient to have some kind of transport... then.. I can literally fly anywhere I want.. even in the dead of the night.. I can even meet up Weixiong and a couple of old friends and go motor-ing ... and head for supper ... 24 Roti Prata?.. wowow... !! but.. all of the above speech by me... now.. had turned into nothing but...  farts... cause.. If everything's smooth and cool.. I'll be leaving this place to study.. so.. I can't ship the whole freaking scooter over to Down Under right?... heee... so ah... suan le lah hor ...

"I.. awake from my dreams.. I can't find my way.. without you... " Endless Rain - X Japan

I'm tired of my life.. yes.. I'm sick and tired of this bloody life of mine.. I'm tired of losing things... I simply don't understand why I had this very short term memory... I don't even remember where the hell is my second HP battery.. and I'm terribly pissed at myself.. Where's my freaking battery!! I'm always very upset when things gets misplaced..

My greatest wish of all time...  is perhaps... just to own bungalow... just a small one will do... then.. everyday.. I'll then only have to walk 15 steps.. and soak my tired feet into the warm ocean waves.. I could also lay my mat on the sand.. and watch those sea gulls fly by ...   I need not worry about the slightest shit or anything that's missing.... I would not want to care about... even if the sky's falling down on me...

Tomorrow afternoon.. I'm going to JP to get Mr. Charles's Specs.. It's been delayed for so long now.. heh~... then off to Sim Lim.. oh.. I can also scout for Kelly's MD player..  I promised to call her back later tonight.. but.. I think I would want to spend time with myself since we've already chatted yesterday night..

I still can't find my damn battery...

 Personality Test

http://www.similarminds.com/personalitytests.html

Pretty accurate?.. hmmmm ... should be... I think I'm pretty much a impractical person.. hmmm... but I think I'm a very introverted person...

I'm really in debt to Mr.. Charles... I had " forced" him to get the specs from there and now... It's really for collection.. and .. all thanks to me.. it's still not being collected... well.. she's just not there... heh..

Read the papers today.. one women commented on the advertisement on " Emirates Airway... " hmmm... did I actually get the spelling right?... hmmm ... whatever.. oh anyway... it's something like.... " when's the last time.. when you did something for the first time... " ... The commercial shows the old lady taking her first helicopter ride... well.. to be honest.. I've even piloted an helicopter before... eerrr... on my computer ( Grand Theft Auto - vice city ) ... hmmm ... oh.. anyway... a young boy who's 22 years old age like me... there seems to be so many things I would like to be doing for the first time... eerrrr ... like... killing some ass on the streets with a gun... ( oh.. I've also did that already in Grand Theft Auto - vice city ) ..oh... errr... or making my first million of dollars? ... ORD for the first time?... Getting married for the first time?...  Bungee Jump off UOB plaza at Raffles Place?... hhhmmmm..... so many things to do huh?... till then... I'll have to deal with my everyday task till Dec'04.. and that's a freaking long time... oh well ...

so... " when's the last time.. when you did something for the first time?... " ... seriously.. I have absolutely no ... no idea.. hey.. let me think ... Errrr..... ( after 4 minutes... ) .. " I can't think of any.... suan le... Brain-dead... " ....

If you're coming from a " high class JC ( Junior college )  " or should I say.. a prestige institution of study, that... simply doesn't mean that you are someone of good character.. you could be getting all the "A"s in your report book but you're still... pretty much a piece of shit in my eyes... "if"... I said if... you had a snobbish attitude... Maybe ...that's a very huge flaw in our Singapore's education system...

I am no Mr. education minister nor a member of parliament to comment on Singapore's education system.. so.. these are just my little observation...  there's always been such saying among anxious parents.. . " My dear son/daughter must go to a all boy's / girl's primary school.. she'll be getting much better guidance from the teacher there... You see... prestige schools would breed super smart kids you see in those " Dumex milk powder advertisements" ...  I beg to differ... Yours truly came from a humble neighborhood school... and I must say that humble neighborhood schools are not doing too bad theses days...

In fact.. I feel that they're ( students in neighborhood schools ) far much better than those " high class schools.. " .. for those kids in those schools... I think.. all they learn is...  " .. I must beat that bastard man!... I'm gonna drill hard for my test and prove that I'm the best! ... " and learned a skill in their school of not sharing their knowledge to their less brainy classmates... in fear of them "overtaking " their class ranking ... Ladies and gentleman.. that's " kids in high class schools " for you ..

There's one classic example being told to me today by SP Lim...  He's walking along town and was approached my this guy with a donation tin can. As expected ... this JC wonder kid approached him... as SP had no coins with him and the smallest note he had in his wallet was 10 dollars... He politely told the Wonder JC boy that... he had no money... and you knew what?... that smart JC kid gave SP a snob look on his face and walked away...  see!... JC kids!... and then... SP was approached later by this girl.. which is the Smart JC kid's classmate I believe.. and SP again.. explained that he had no coins with him... and that smart ass JC boy said.. " he won't donate one lah.. he where got money..." and gave him the fu*ked- up look again.... Pissed.. SP bought some freaking snacks and dashed for that JC girl.. and what... he donated a dollar to her.. in front of that fucking JC guy... one dollar... = 10 ten cents coins....

well... If I'm SP.. I might just want to fu*k with that Wonder JC boy's brain...

"Suddenly.. Sergeant Lee .. Shout Loudly .. " 

Living our own separate parallel life... My only comfort is ... having the ghost of you with me..  I've been sleeping too long in the Crime of Breen street... just to find myself naked out in the cold... and Yesterday's seems to be another queer word in my dictionary... Please..  let me paint the skies grey once again .. and let me fall ... slowly..  warm tears rolled carefully down my cheeks.. as merciless time left it's lines across my face.. Would I be allowed to dream?.. to dream of the ever-free..  Underneath the crashing waves of reality ... I had yearn so much for love to arrive... Time isn't really the best medicine as you had always claimed.. but.. it's so hard to see through the angry waves of pain...

had I've been too naive towards the moon... or maybe " realizing how to feel ".. seems like a long lost skill of mine... but when I stood there all alone in silence... did I... really felt that the wind who blew her kisses on my face?... till the flowers learn to bloom once again... and till the sun sets again.. should I call it my very own bitter-sweet symphony.. I had leant to die once again... losing you forever in my dreams .. is like another one way ticket.. and.. now you're really gone ... without even telling me...

I've tried and I've tried.. to reach your fading heart... but I've always ended up stabbed .. reluctantly ..I fell from grace.. again ... Whenever I searched for the truth in those teary eyes of yours... I had longed for your touch ... losing you is perhaps...  the harshest lesson I have to learn...

Today might be another brand new chapter.. which I've declared just too many times.. I've tried to stand up tall and proud but... my aging legs are failing me... whole lot of beautiful illusions staring at me...  I've been blinded by the mist of lies... maybe I just don't want to try... Can we pretend to be strangers once again.. just like in the past... I should have learnt not to see myself in the distorted mirror.. just to hear your beautiful lies... and slowly.. plain loneliness slowly embraced me..

Slowly and surely..  the morning comes.. I knew I had to go on.. they told me that life had to be celebrated... and when the warn rays of sunlight hit my tired face, I knew I had to go on.. Our memories made me cry.. I couldn’t walk on any more… You could have appeared before me.. you could have…. Soon… when all my tears had over flow… I could have seen the light.. Would you ever teach me to numb the pain?.. would you even teach me not to feel..? I should have knew the ending before the fairy tale ends...  what I fool I've been ... what I fool I've been ...

Welcome to my life at the crime of Breen street.. another  psychommunity .. another lie... another lie..

anyway... Thursday  or rather Friday .... would be my final act ... it's a do it or break it thingy... hee...had to take that gamble..  wish me luck man...

I woke up at 9am.. I felt a little lousy.. Maybe it's because of the weather... just another grey sky morning... not my expected cheerful Sunday birthday morning... Listened to my David Tao Ultrasound CD.. and I've decided to listen to something sad... I played Tears by X Japan.. and decided that ... I'll use that as my funeral song... the song's still playing now.... so are my memories... A forced marriage was never meant to be a smooth sailing one... I should had understood what it meant ages ago ...

. I'll see you in the spring again .

oh .. anyway... my wish for the coming year is..... ... ... 

ice cream that Kelly " made " for me

the second serving that's full of peanuts!

After our dinner.. we just walked around aimlessly... Initially wanted to  catch a movie but.. it'll be too late as she needs to reach home by midnight... so.. we walked aimlessly around for a coffee joint.. Walked past Mos Burger and Mr Tanner Koh ambushed me!... mmuahahaaa... I'm still feeling sleepy that moment...

Kelly

sigh... did I mentioned that I would very much want to spend my birthday like last year's where we walked the beaches of East Coast... but.. she.. deprived me of my happiness when she disallow me to enjoy the sounds of the waves this year.... I'm really disappointed as she could not spend the entire night till dawn with me like last year...

And.. so.. she went home at the stroke of midnight.. after her endless apologies and we bid farewell.. I headed for the sea side ..to enjoy the waves again... well ... next year I'm gonna force her to listen to the waves with me.. mmauahha .... anyway...  I wasn't really sad being left all alone to enjoy the sea just now.... cuz.. I know that I have things more excited things to look forward to! ....  * yeah* !

* thanks Lao Mei and all my friends for remembering my birthday!.. and Mr.. Antonio and SP for chatting on ICQ to keep me company... 

02.31

Initially after our JP trip.. we've decided earlier on that we shall do some window shopping around town but... sigh.. I was just too sick to shop..  " life... no life.. no~ life.... "

some fine day.. I shall make a trip to Malaysia.. Maybe with my significant other... ( should there be one.. mmuahaha... ).. and just lie on the less tourist invaded beach... enjoying the sun and the sound of the waves... now.. that's life... 

On another note... Candy... or rather Ken-dy was kind enough to translate parts of a hide magazine for me.. and somehow got into a topic of how hide's death caused an enormous impact on Japan...  He said that ... " One day... If Ayumi Hamasaki ( Pop Queen of Japan ) had died.. I'm sure that the whole of Japan would be as upset as hide's death... ".. I totally agree... but.. as earlier on.. I mentioned that good boys always lie... I felt that she's too commercialized.. she even had her own line of clothing... and every month there's a lame remix of her songs out on singles.... which the particular song is like... remixed 50 times already? or rather.. 51 times.. ... well anyway... I don't think she's as influential as hide.. hide cared about his music... his determination to find a breakthrough in music... always writing songs about his life... his friends... for lovers... and for those who're broken hearted... for his fans... for the love of music.... and Ayumi Hamasaki ?????... for Money ?...  you bet ....

" like a merry go round and round ... "

I was dying to watch something.. wanted to watch my Pulp Fiction DVD but mum wanted to catch the 1830 news.. I ended up watching the 8 " hide history clips " that Shiyun burned for me..

heh... guess what? sister came home from Johor and bought me my City Of God and Gangs of New York DVD! ... Yeah! ... Just when I really felt the urge to watch some shows!... Later on.. I'm gonna to watch City Of God.. for the..err.... 4th time?.. I'm serious.. I'm mad about that film.. First time catching it was with Shiyun.. Second time was with Mah.. Third time was with Charles and SP Lim.. and.. yeah.. Tonight's gonna be my fourth time...! oh well.. just because I've got the lure from the DVDs... I had... to postpone my trip to Jurong Point to tomorrow... heh.. so that'll be.. tomorrow...  then.. Wednesday afternoon...  call on sometime next week , 13th.. ? .. hmmmm... my " Final Act " .. coming up ..  heh..

I'm really excited about events coming up this month of October... My friends and I are going up to Genting Highlands / Shopping at K. L .. 2 more Spectacle bending sessions and " California Sushi " sessions... meeting up with Kelly after so long...  Chatting sessions with Kitty..  and I'm left with 3 more sentry duties... 

" Speed freaks oh baby rocket dive ... "

And that song.. really held a significant meaning for the both of us...  of course.. ( with no reference from the title of the song nor the lyrics.. It's just that I heard the song during a memorable event happened ages ago ) ...  I was really glad that Kelly even remembered cuz she had a very short term memory.. even worse than me... hmmm.. it's like around.. err... 11 - 2 = 9 days... hmmm... It's just good... to see her again... the sad thing is that... Even though deep inside we truly loved each other... they're still... factors that'll separate us... we've tried too many times... but still .... we gave up ...

X - JAPAN - Forever love

I can no longer walk alone 
The winds of time are too strong 
Ah, I should have gotten used 
To hurting, but now
Ah, please hold 
My weeping heart 
In this time when everything keeps changing 
If we have our unchanging love 
Will you hold my heart? 
Please catch my tears 
It seems as if it will break, all my heart 
Forever love, forever dream 
Only my overflowing memories 
Passionately, painfully fill the time 
Oh, tell me why 
All I see is blue in my heart 
Will you stay with me? 
Until the wind passes away 
Once again they overflow, all my tears 
Forever love, forever dream 
Please stay by my side 
In the dawn, hold my trembling heart 
Oh, stay with me 
Ah, if only it would all end 
In this endless night 
Ah, there is nothing 
That I would lost, except you 
Forever love, forever dream 
Please stay by my side 
In the dawn, hold my trembling heart 
Ah, will you stay with me? 
Until the wind passes away 
More than anyone, I want you with me 
Forever love, forever dream 
I can't walk any further than this 
Oh, tell me why; oh, tell me true 
Tell me the meaning of life 
Forever love, forever dream 
In the midst of my overflowing tears 
Until that shining season becomes eternity 
Forever love

I was feeling terribly bad after dismissed from my camp... just pure lousy... which pretty much deterred me from accompanying Charles to the specs shop.. just not in the mood for anything... just went home to play my guitar... write all these shit down... and.. chat on ICQ... no life...

I wouldn't care if I was washed up tomorrow you see
Reading novels is banned by the Marquis De Sade
All your relationships are emptying and temporary
Life is wearing me thin
I feel so drained, my legacy
A sea of faces just like me
 

Mansun " legacy "

I think I'm in love... with her eyes...

" his display of shit-ness and his " hypocrite-ness " .. really makes me stand tall and proud...  because I am true to everyone and myself.. "

Prawn Noodles

We had lunch in the Food Center at Beach Road... We had.. YEAH!! ... Prawn Mee!! ... assuming that Mah wanted a "Dry" one.. ( W/O soup ) ... I ordered them... and what... he wanted a "soup" one.. and what... acting smart... he poured the bowl of soup and said.. " see... can liao lor... I've got the soup one.. " and what... both of us forgot that there are Ketchup underneath the noodle ( picture on the right )... see.... act smart.. in the end... backfired..  lame right ?

As we did not expect that the fee would increase.. We had no extra money .... but... our dear Mah had sudden thought of the idea of " someone transferring money to my account so that we would be able to pay for the trip "... Yeah... that definitely earn him the title of  " Singapore Brainiest Horse " .. hmm.. a very prestige title ...

We loitered around the block of flats across Golden Mile Complex ( While we're waiting for Quek to transfer money to my account ) we..saw this sign on the wall... IN THAI! .. " no sitting and loitering.. " OK.... " please keep the place clean... " .... Ok I can do that ...  " Do not litter.. " OK~.... " Do not urinate... " .... hmmmmm....... who on earth in his right frame of mind would want to do that in the cluster of highly populated apartment flats... hmmmm....

at last... the trip was finally confirmed and booked... much to our relieve... We would not want to make it another wasted trip.. I was thinking of making a trip down to K.L on pour second day.. to do what?... my favourate.. shopping!!! heee....

Later on ..went to Bugis Junction to get my " Replay - hits if the 80's " ... a very good compilation ... and took some photographs of the worry free kids having fun with the water jets ... how fun... I wish I could get go back to the times when I was young... No Headache.. no need to deal with back stabbing minds... no need to worry about anything... no need to ... .... ....

While having my snack at Mcdonalds... I spoke to Mah about my theory - < For guys.. you need not have that very handsome face.. to get yourself a Very Very beautiful girlfriend... > .. Mah said true... but he added... " but you need to have a face of Yuosf Ishak ... " ... ( for the benefit of readers who are not living in this same miserable island as me.. Yuosf Ishak's face... was printed on our Singapore currency notes i.e. Money!!! I think he's one of our president in the past ...  ) ..  Ya ... he added that Singapore girls are practical.. as long as you have many " Yuosf Ishak's face" in your wallet... you'll have all the beautiful girls... he might be true afterall ! ...

leaving for Jurong Point at the afternoon... went to find CaiYing to " bend" my specs again... when I walked in with my specs.. she smiled.. or rather laughed ...  and give me that ..  " ah?.. I just bend your specs few days ago and now you want to bend it again.. what's wrong?... " look ...  ... I smile back... hee hee... she's busy as she's entertain some Indian customers.. who's like.. asking... a dictionary thick of question again... and she told me to sit down and wait as she'll attend to me later... * smiles + Yeah! *  .. then.. I was looking at the specs in the shop and maybe it gave her a feeling that I was rushing for time as I did not take a sit and looking around... She asked her colleague to assist me instead.. see... I should had listened to instructions and took a seat.. or maybe..... Lesson learnt... " always listen to Instructions... failure to comply.. would leave you backfired ... " ....

I believe in the madness called "Now"
time goes flowing breaking my heart
wanna live
can't let my heart kill myself
still I havent found what I'm looking for

Art of life
I try to stop myself
but my heart goes to destroying the truth
tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
do I try to live, do I try to love

Art of life
an Eternal Bleeding Heart
you never wanna breath you last
wanna live
can't let my heart kill myself
still I'm feeling for
a rose is breathing love
in my life

X Japan

The very first word in my dictionary is "A". And It's definition is  " the first letter of the English Alphabet. " and... the last word is " Zygote " which means " a cell that is formed when an egg is fertilized. " and Hey.. why am I saying all these? ... nah... I don't know...

Just read today's Straits Times : the article " Innovative structures here? Not so soon " ... Mr. Tang Guan Bee mentioned that " Everybody is likely to play safe, so their plans ( Drawings ) are most likely to be approved ( by the relevant authorities ) faster. Most architects here are put to make money. I'd say only about 3 out of 100 are design - oriented. " What a sad comment..

Maybe I'm still feeling a little dreamy about the working world.. I mean.. the architectural practice. In school.. we're trained to be design - orientated  .. and maybe in the real practice.. due to time or budget constrains.. or maybe pressure from the client... we might have... to be ... " time saving - oriented" ..  thus ..  design would inevitably be compromised. sad .. Welcome to the real world ...

but one thing I would argue about his comments are that "Most architects here are put to make money. I'd say only about 3 out of 100 are design - oriented. "... That's absolutely NOT true... only 3? .. I think the actual figure should be 5 out of 100 are design - oriented ... mmuahahha.... just kidding.. I feel the figure should be around.. let's say.. maybe 40-60 .. I mean.. things shouldn't be that bad... If the under graduate had absolutely no passion for Architecture.. I doubt he / she would be able to survive the intensive 5 years of training at their university... hmmm .... or maybe .... ( I'm thinking too much...  I bet no architect would be reading this argument anyway.. )

Oh ... Happy Birthday CaiYing... Even though you don't really know who the hell am I.. but.. It's okay.. hee..

and to Tanny boy.. " Buck Up.. and Don't give up...! Fight for your happiness!   "

" Try licking your elbow with your tongue and I'll give you ten days off "  Sergeant Lee

Without You I'm Nothing

 " Strange infatuation seems to grace the evening tide
I'll take it by your side
Such imagination seems to help the feeling slide
I'll take it by your side
Instant correlation sucks and breeds a pack of lies
I'll take it by your side
Over saturation curls the skin and tans the hide
I'll take it by your side "

It seems that these days... I'm always losing my cool... sometimes over trivial matter.. and I'm really upset with myself for behaving like that... I seems to be losing it... September had been... a very bad and busy month... 6 more days.. just.. 6 more days... one more guard duty on 29th... two more trips of ammo turn-over... 2 days of audit check.. all in 6 days... " exciting " .. I really hope that... October would be a much better... much better month... we shall keep our toes crossed...

obsolete boy

here.. I'm back at home : 2052 and guess what?... we had only spoken two lines " hi good evening!... " ... " huh?.. forget me liaoz ah?.. " ... " I remember ah... You're Antonio 's friend... " ... " My specs are a bit too tight.. " .. " Which Part?.. " .. " At the sides ... " ....  and and and... after she fixed my specs... and... I tried to talked to her... and guess what?.. some fatso lady interrupted and asked almost a dictionary thick of question... and... I'm like sitting there staring into the blank air... and then... I said.. " ok.. bye bye.. ." .. and she replied.. " bye bye... " .... and I walked out... sad right ?... that's life... some fatso bitch just like to get in my way ....

Maybe.. the next time I carry out my plan...I should choose an Very very...off peak hour... heh...well... next time?

hmmm... seems like a bad day... my friend just told me that someone just committed suicide in his camp...

ohh.. thanks Antonio for giving me a Wonderful Plan...it's a very cute one.. hope that things would work out... 

wwoohhoooooooooooo !!!!

One huge difference between a 26 dollars hair cut and a normal 10 dollars hair cut... is.. of course.. the service.. If you were to go for the 10 dollars one.. I think.. All they do is... to cut your hair.. after telling them which style you have in mind.. they just proceed... and most of the time... it just turns out.. ugly! and.. before they start to cut a certain portion.. they just carried on without consulting you.. : for example.. that lady today just shaved off my side burn without asking me if I only wanted a trim... see!... .. now.. that's sad... and at Shunji Matsuo ... It's so different... they cared about which style you really want... and it's all about customer satisfaction! ... they would consult and advice on what's the best for you... gee.. enough of hairstyles.. I'm sad enough .... :p

It's really not a bad day after all... It's just that I did not have sufficient sleeping hours.. I've had only like... 4 hours of sleep... oh man... no choice.. there are tasks for me to finish... I was really really surprised that Colonel Quek had been posted to my dept.. DCC... heh... It's real weird! A very very very .. big thank you to mr. Geng Qin! without his help... I would have been very very lost at those " out of this world " programs!.. 

As usual... rushed to NUH. to visit mum...  and I'm very glad that she's been doing extremely well after her operation... and will be discharged tomorrow morning...

" .. I say... baby, baby, baby... baby.. you're out of time " 

@ last... had my hair cut at Shunji Matsuo ... at 26 dollars... this might just be the most expensive haircut in the past few years! my hair was done by a lady called Maggie. .. she was pretty helpful in assisting me to make up my mind on what I really wanted... well.. actually I had the " sort of " idea on what my hair should be .. oh well ...  anyway... I'm happy with my new look!!! anyway.. in the middle of my session... I thought... " man.. I do know how to enjoy life... Life is the great indulgence ... " I was just sitting next to the escalator ( the inner seat ) ... not bad.. a pretty concealed view from the public eye.

I was thinking about a plan.... but.. wondered if it'll work .. ( courtesy of the lukewarm response from Mr.. Antonio ! )

anyway.. check this out...

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is

taht the frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.

Oh my god!! I can really read the passage effortlessly!!!!   P.S thanx cloud for this one !
 

My weekly Horoscope " You begin a period which is devoted entirely to yourself. You may not like yourself for your " selfishness" . But do not waste the opportunity for going after what and who you want, whether it is ambition, romance or money. "  hhmmmmmmm

bought one CD at the HMV. I bought the " Ramones " cd.. which I was aiming for that for the last few months now... It was too expensive at 20 plus dollars for an experimental CD. but but... the price was slashed down to 9 plus plus dollars! ..wow! what a buy! then...when I was paying for that.. I heard a very very very .... beautiful tune... I look up to the screen .. It says " Out of Time by the Manic Street Preachers " ... 

It's been so long since I've be mesmerized by such a tune...  after taking a trial listen at the double CD " Lipstick Tracks - a secret history of manic street preachers " ... I thought they sounded pretty cool. and moments ago.. I played my " Ramones" Cd and guess what.... I heard them singing the very same  " Out of Time " ... oh man.. such a coincidence !! ... and I checked out the CD sleeve of the manic street  preacher to check out which of the two band was the original composer... and... heh... It was none of them... It's the Rolling Stones!!!! Mr. Jagger and Richards! ... wowo...!

sometimes I really feel that the whole army stint ...was... making me deprive of simply happiness of my life. something like.. meeting up with my old friends... especially Lao Mei. It's been  so so long.. since we've both sat down and have a heart to heart chat...

While reading her Online Diary just now.. I was stunned hat she mentioned that Jon had been surfing her diary ... and even met on the ICQ that day! .. I was so happy for her...! I think she might have been waiting for this day for so long now.. wondered if it was a good or a bad thing...

Yesterday.. was my guard duty.. anyway... just reached home... took a bath.. and sit down.. to down all these shit now.. ( just in case I forgot what I want to say )  Yesterdays' duty was with NiCoLa. We had smsed each other the night before to bring some lanterns and candles over to the sentry post... well.. just for fun. We lit up 2 lanterns and.. both of them " self destructed " anyway~... burned some candles on the counter and... was pretty amazed of the "mixed" colours of harden wax when cooled... beautiful!

SMSed and called Kelly and glad that she's doing fine... out of a sudden... all thoughts of her came into my mind.. the times we've had.. the quarrels we had.. bla bla bla.... I still miss her a lot... 

Happy Birthday Mum!

oh.. anyway... I might want to get my hair cut tomorrow... I think it's getting long and.. the slight discomfort comes along...  It's funny why I could torlerate the discomfort of having long hair one year ago.... hmmmm ....

As I type... I'm pretty sure right now... the whole world is moaning for the loss of lifes in the Sept 11 incident which... really really ..changes every single one of our lives... If only the tradegy was stopped in time... well.. " if Only ". ... if only...

            " the wind gave me it's kiss of life

              I felt nowhere like before..

              watching the leaves danced across the streets

              the wind gave me it's kiss of strength "

What a fine morning... in my bed.. trying to get a few more hours of sleep.. I'm so glad that today's my day off at work... so happy until I began to receive calls from the office regarding my work... Well.. I was fine with a few seconds of call... but... the total duration of the calls made to me exceeds like... 6-7 minutes?!!! why?... seriously speaking... I thought Yap was extremely tactical ! he claims that he does not own a handphone but hey... year 2003...  and someone of my age who says that he does not even own a handphone... can be..

Unbelievable... look... even Ivan chan used to have one.. and Yap.. but.. I feel that he's quite wise... by not declaring that he has one... we would not be able to contact him when he's on offs.. and thus.. he had a really good day of rest without anything to do with work... heh... speaking of tactical.... I thought he's great at it man!

Slept again at noon... just feeling lazy ... and woke up by Yaohui's call.. Asking me to go Jurong Point.. at last.. found some time off to get myself a brand new pair of specs! .. served by CaiYing ( which I later knew her name ) at the counter.. she seems a little impatience as I was... pretty choosy about the frame ... well.. I can be choosy over things... hee hee... but.. she's very very helpful I must say... heee... oh.. did I mention that she had this pair of.. very very beautiful eyes...

Oh... today when I board the bus to the shopping complex... on the bus.. I saw a pretty small gang of Malay with a mix of boys and girls.. I don't know but... I thought they did a lousy job of dressing up like those freakin rappers.. or is it hip hop shit?... whatever... I just felt that they looked totally ... shitty... I mean... duh! you know what I mean... and mind you... those kids very like.. only 13-14 years of age.. whose height barely exceeds 1.2 meters .. and... oh my god..

When I alighted from the bus... I saw another identical gang of kid with the very same dress style.. oh my!... what's the world coming to?.. hip hop?.. fucking rappers?... oh for fuck's sake.... whatever... It's their own life anyway~...

walked past the amusement centre.. or rather... those arcade gamming centers... and.. I heard...  hide's Rocket Dive... and hey! ... hide's song! ... It was in the drumming game where the player had to hit those plastic pads in tune with the rhythm. oh... Rocket Dive! hide... we miss you! 

Damn... Have you read about it?... Sars are making a comeback... oh man... gone were the days when I could just enter certain public buildings freely without having my temperature taken... all gone...

On another note... There's this person in my camp which... I thought is really strong... and I do look up to him... He's of the same batch as me and he's lost his mum a few months back... I was really surprised of .. his speed of getting back to his usual life... If that mis fortune even fell on me... I would definitely be devastated! I would then...suffer from depression and would might really take me months and months for me.. to recover ...

but I really thought that Koon-Ster handled it real well.. maybe.. The harsh reality forced him to wake up.... I really thought that he had that strong character... He's always cheerful ... What really amazes me is his energy... After his working hours... He would give tuition to kids that'll earn him extra income... If I was in his shoes.. I would feel.. a little depressed... cause everyday after my work.. I would feel tired... and when I'm tired.. I can't do any work.. but.. Look at Him... oh man.. How lame I am!  I asked him today... " how come I was so tired everyday... regardless of my early sleeping timing and the slack nature of my job which require little energy... just why am I so tired?.. " .. Lack of exercises?... maybe~....

sometimes... I just wish I could get lost in some outer space kinda shit... where I can lay my worries and burden down... or rather... throw it away.. just for a while.. life is wearing me thin... Sometimes I felt so drained .. and.. I really need a short vacation to " recharge " myself... In the past... I would always " force " hee hee.. my significant other to the beach with me.. just listening to the waves... and with her next to me.. I could easily recharge my batteries and get ready for the harsh world... We need not talk all the time at the beach... having her next to me just listening to the waves... was just pure heaven....but.. not now anymore... It's been so long.. since I visited a beach.... with .....

I would always lose my cool.. when someone keeps repeating the same old things to my ears.. . when he / she already knows that I've already got his / her point taken and recorded in my calendar of events... bad point of me?... heh... I just hated it!

heh... did not really had a busy day.. but..rather a .. "nothing to do " day... It was a pure morning when I decided to SMS " clmib mountain " .. and then... thought of my long lost friends... oh.. sad to say that my hectic lifestyle would not permits to remain contact with all these pals but... ohh.. anyway.... I " Mass SMSed" them a simple morning msg to all of them... Yes... Almost Every Single one of them in my Phone Book... Yeah... Oh~... some replied and was rather surprised that Isabella replied... mmuahhaa.... I think I would be striking lottery pretty soon I guess...

I Don't really know how I actually spend my lazy afternoon... but... almost the entire camp went for their usual dose of EFO... god damn... Can you believe that only some 10 plus of us were left in our freaking camp... oh well... Life had never been fair anyway.... "whatever " ... And the worst thing is that Our dear Colonel did not inc. my name in the EFO form... damn...some kind of friend he is! After work... I went over to the Post Office to collect my Lavender Drama VCD! .. hee hee.. I've been following that drama serial and got myself hooked ever since... well... thats... eerrrr... A Little unlike myself... Like "chasing" those idol Taiwan drama serials...well... It Was... really really a touching and excellent story.... Does true love... really really exist....? .... Or rather... Does "fairy tales" really exist... Would It even happen to me one day??...

These few days... I've been in and out of NUH. It's my dear mum whos' having trouble with her health... Going to the hospital really made me ..... seems ..err.... a rather sad ... It's like... you'll get to see the sad side of lie... " have u ever seen someone who vomits every single step she took... and couldn't ever walk by herself ?... " ... " Or.. have u really seen the family members crying for their loved ones... near the "intensive ward" "  .... I was really really sadden by all these sights.... ohh... by the way.. Mum should be A - Okay after next Tues' operation....

I could still remember the night mum was admitted to NUH.. Dad and I went home that night without mum whos' still .. under observation... I somehow...felt a void in my life... the atmosphere that day was heavy and intense... boy... although mum and I never had an habit to sit down and really have a nice chat.... but... she's still so ever important to my life... sometimes... I think we need not use words to tell someone that you actually cared for someone... for me... I would just stand by mum.. when ever she needed me...

Oh.. you know what... Chee Xiang called me today... and I was...indeed surprised! ... He called all the way from Thailand where he was having his overseas military exercise... and you know what.. I was waiting for him to come back from his trip as I need to discuss with him... issues about the band.. the directions... and ultimately... if we're going for the competition.... oh well... all along.. I was like... kind of " graduated " from the old Guns school... or.. rather... Guns N roses dual guitar system... to me.. that's the direction I've always wanted to play... the situation now..was just like a forced marriage between " guns n roses "  and " Green day " .... 2 different band of a totally different league... and now... maybe it'll be good for me to leave the current project... cuz...the 3 of them can just do well with an additional guitar which is ... yours truly... mmauhaha... oh well.. If I'll join them again for session... I'll unintentionally bring in " negative energy " to them again... I think my expectations of us playing... was.. maybe a little too high ... and maybe... I should concentrate on my own stuffs... of a higher priorities to my life.... Music or... playing music was equally as important but.. unfortunately.. things didn't work out.. and ... I might as well put in all my time and energy in doing things might... be more of a beneficial shits to me... oh well... " In the shapes of things to come... to much poison come undone... cause there's nothing else to lose... every me and every you... "

Yesterday... It was a lazy Sunday... and I came back from my camp in the morning... I took a little nap and chatted a while with my mum.. and carried on with my URA project... I was doing some research on the form and the functions of the un - realized project ... and hey... It's been so so long.. since I've attempted to do and architectural piece... so long... and I really enjoyed it... and also... I really enjoyed time... spending with myself... In some sense ..I was really taking a well deserved break from all these shits I've been getting all day...

Oh man.. Today might just be the worst day... of this year.. why?.. cause I' ve been real pissed..

I went over to the stupid  " Diploma to Degree " shit over at Hilton... and.. god damn... I was pretty pissed by the some of those stuck-up staffs over at the study fair... god damn.. they gave me those " hey.. Your result's shit.. I suggest you might as well commit suicide and end your fucking life... your results are just too fucking lousy to enter our prestige university !! go away NOW don't waste my fucking time " ...

 well... fuck you! I don't need your fucking uni. to accept me.. that's not all... one particular uni. simply pissed me down that toilet bowl... well.. I specially went for that " design interview and portfolio workshop " organized by the fucking RM*T uni. and god damn... I let of of the freaking professor to let him have an assessment of my portfolio and..  from his expression.. I thought that he's pretty impressed.. That fucking punk walked over to his colleague and had a mini discussion regarding how much or rather how long of the " advance standing " I would get if I were to enter RM*T. .. he then asked.. " hey... this is almost what we're looking for.. " " It's up to standard for RM*T " ... as I was expecting a 1 and a half year of " advance standing " as the lady student before me got... and.. he did made me an offer of 1.5 years... I was like.. " hhmmmm... ok.. not too bad... " ... and when I presented my result slip to that motherfucker... he took an glance and said.. " we'll now offer you only one year of exemption of this 5 years course... " ..

what the Fuck? I mean... Architecturally speaking... I truly feel that the grades I' ve got... Is definitely not a 100% reflection of my design capabilities.. and this was reflected my his initial offer of 1.5 years he offered.. I mean... design is a very personal subject... there's no right or wrong answer.. " you might find this building a masterpiece ... but I thought it was nothing more than a piece of shit ! ... " ... oh well.. what can I say... Fuck them! 2 fucking bastards! ... Do I sound like a loser there?..... heh... whatever! I'm just fucking pissed!

does Aussies look down on Asian s*ckers like me?... damn..

On another note... Somehow I found that the staffs at Newcastle were the most helpful and not discriminating at all! hhhmmm... actually I've already taken up their offer but.. decided to have another round of "chat" with the staffs. I just don't understand... but It seems that those staffs at Newcastle were the friendliest! ... heh... and they told me something I was aware of... the campus was very very.. near the beach! ... Yeah! .. If I managed to study there... I'll be hanging around the beach during my spare time! ... beach boys!!.. get a nice tan!... yeah!!! that is... IF .. I'm able to study there.... sigh...

Mum fell terribly ill... within these 2-3 days.. she had visited the doctor so many times that I couldn't even remember... what's going on theses days.... damn... 

Spend the entire afternoon at home... recording the MD cassette that NickOlaS helped me to buy... 80 minutes.. times 4 = 320 minutes of raw music to be recorded!! wwoohoohoho...

actually... every now and then... I don't seems to see that I would be studying in university ... Maybe my drive or Architecture had already faded after losing touch at it for the past year... Or just Maybe I felt that My education should not add to the burden to my aging parents.. and.. the fees are not going to be a small sum of money... I think I'm just too naive in the past... thinking that " I would definitely going to the university... maybe it's just the orthodox way... that people like me in Singapore think... well.... or rather most of us? ...

Maybe ... It's the way our government had " spoon Fed " us... like... stages to stages.... would always... always be so smooth sailing... everything's so well planned for us.. and now... I seems to be stuck in the middle of.. no where.... No cash.. no cash no cash... just.. no cash .. Although my family members had already assured me that... They'll send me to an Uni. but... I.. I seems to be so selfish.. I just think It would be so selfish of me to do that... My siblings had their own family and children to take care of... and I should be not part of their " package " I think.. I might as well drop that idea of mine... I'm just not one of the blessed ones...

Sometime.. I just feel that.. how good would I be.. leading a carefree life... without having any single problems and worry.. without any haunting past... Nowadays.. I am going on with my " heck care " attitude... cuz.. I realized that... " something's are just not within my control.. just like today.. I've flagged down that bloody bus.. and I bet that fucking bus driver saw mw.. and what... he just sped away... see?.. there's nothing I can do... Look ..  I've did my part and look... Thinking that It would be a waste of time.. I've decide to walk the distance of 2 bus stops to reach my home.. but... as I reached that stop where I would have alighted... another bus came from behind.. and.. the time was around the same.. and what does that imply? ... I'm a SUCKER...

I'm starting to get disillusioned  at every single shit ... I never understood what's the meaning of life... I never understood why I'm here... suffering... so many shits to take care of.. Although I'm very much aware that I am fucking fortunate to be living well in Singapore... no war.. No violence... I still get my 3 meals everyday... but....  (  I think I ought to be shot ) ...

and my mum's health is getting no better... and I.. really don't know how I should really improve the situation...  and because of this... I think that she should save up money to "save guard" her health instead of wasting money on my education... sigh... see... Humans are born to suffer... We grow old and fall sick.... very sick... more sick.. and then... die... what's the point??

Fuck... Fuck me.. I ought to be shot... just fucking kill me... for fuck's sake...   good night!

" I.... wanna rock and roll all night... and party everyday... "

Before catching that show... We went to the URA center... to catch a glimpse of an exhibition by a renowned Japanese architect... and... heh... I couldn't even remember his name.. oh,.. anyway~... saw Cheah KM.. he's my Poly lecturer.. what a small world ... he's also there to catch the exhibition... Walked past ADDP architects.. and.. felt nostalgia as usual~.. and ate that KUN famous bread... ohhh.. did I mentioned that I've met Caley on the streets... ?.. heh~... My friends mentioned that Caley was as " Lame" as I am.. cuz throughout our conversation.. they noticed that her head was tilted to an angel throughout.. heee.. maybe she's also got that lazy look as I had... mmuahahaha...

I'm still surviving on my mono job... and I'm still very single.. but... not very available... hmm... maybe it's just that after watching the show just now... which briefly says that a girl had a sudden chance of heart and left for someone who's filthy rich... yes... just because that ass's rich... 8 years of romance could be easily erased by money.... and... that really kind of left me disillusioned me for a while... well.. who know... that might just happen to me... I think I might not be able to make it big in future... not that I have absolute no confidence in my future but.. I don't think I'll be that " rich " to throw all those 100 dollar bill to anyone I met on the streets... oh well .... ohhh... that doesn't mean that I've lost faith on relationships... hehe... I'm still waiting...

A few days back... our camp had a chalet at east coast.. well.. It's east coast park.. and.. that place really holds some really .... bittersweet memories for me... we stayed in the double storey units which really really remind me of the time I had together with Aries.. I believe It's the very same block ( Block F ) that we stayed there a few years back... how sweet... I've especially took photography of the empty chalet ... just as an remembrance.. of our time spend together..

I had really enjoyed myself at the chalet and ate to my fullest... so full.. that I almost puked.. hahaha ... played some lame games that... were pretty stupid.. Oh.. correction.. only one particular game was stupid... and.. that's all it takes to make sneak away... heh.. later on.. I was caught at the chalet.. " hiding" ... In fact.. I was helping out with the BBQ thingy... oh.. anyway.. U'rs truly was being escorted to the beach area... where I was being thrown into the sea... oh man.... and realized that.. EVERYONE... yes ..every 65 of us.. had already been thrown into the sea... heeeeeee.....

" Dry your tears with love "

If I were to give you my world, Would you even want it?... If I were to live again... Would you still be here with me? ... If I were to die right now... Would you even shed a tear... If I couldn't get to sleep... Would you tell me a bed time story... If I'm just a step from heaven... Would I even recall your name... I'm exhausted.. I'm exhausted.. just exhausted... I'm ... ...

In the afternoon.. I met up with LiZhi.. before his early morning flight to his hometown and then off to down under Queensland for his education... We won't be meeting each other for some time.. hhhmmm... to be precise.. would be 1.5 years later before he returns to Singapore again~.. by that time, I would be released from the Army. To tell you the truth.. I'm very sad about the parting.. LiZhi was a very very close friend of mine.. he stood my me during those uncertain days in my poly year 2.. and right now still... I'm still grateful to him... without his encouragement.. I think won't be able to make it through those very tough times... I treat him to Japanese food today.. which worked out to be around 50 bucks.. It's worth it.. We did not really talked much.. I'm just not in the right frame of mind to hold a decent conversation with him.. maybe I'm too tired after my duty.. or I'm just a little too upset about his departure... we parted at the somerset MRT station.. so long my friend.. see you soon.... He's the one who spotted my short comings... that ... always stocked in the past.. just a little overdose of Nostalgia ... ... ...

caught up with Mr.. Liew YaoHui .. went to Jurong Point .. He wanted to trade in his ancient phone for the Nokia 6610... hmmmm ... not a bad deal after all ... it only cost him some $144 bucks ... bought the latest edition of Architectural Records... ... feeling jaded feeling tired... tomorrow would be a better day ahead.. going shopping with Antonio.. going to Zara..

the world is a vampire

we don't need a bastard like you so please go away! ...

Do you remember the time

I knew a Girl From Mars?

I don't know if you knew that

Oh we'd stay up late playing cards

Henri Winterman Cigars

And I still dream of you

I still love you Girl From Mars

Damn.. feeling extremely lazy these days... just not in the mood for anything... It's just one of these days .. one of these days .... 2056

Sometimes.. I wish I can leave everything all behind... like going for a brain wash or something... Are we allowed to be sad?.. are we allowed to be depressed?.... are we allowed to feel nostalgic about our past?.. are we even allowed to express ourselves ... sometimes.. I just kinda feel that there's no one out there I can really trust ... are all these part of the growing up package?... so.. what do I really want in my life?... and how am I able to achieve it?.. Our education system had taught us to take the shortest possible route to your goals... but in my case.. the first step to my goal could only commence after my national service commitments... so.. I'll just have to stare into the empty air for quite some time now...

Ah..~.. something just crossed my mind... Singapore had just held an island wide Campaign .. " Romancing Singapore "  ... this inevitably leads me to one question.. " are Singaporeans really so hopeless in their "love" department or we are just too busy in our daily life and neglected the art of socializing?.. or we are getting more reserved than before?... or maybe our dear old cupid got retrenched in the bad times? ... or are modern man just too proud to stop and say hi to someone passing by? ... This leads to another theory of mine... " As one grows older and step into the working society, he would thus.. definitely feel more isolated from the world. With so many task to complete each day.. So many dead lines to meet... He would only feel obligated to contact some of his old friends which are probably his Soul Mates. Suddenly he feels that friends he had made are just like passing clouds... although he really miss those good old days while he's in school and always surrounded by his friends... but.. that was years ago... Would his old classmates be free for a chat or coffee when he calls him?... Doubt so ... So .. back to the topic.. This campaign might be good for people like him ... Remind people to take a break from the hectic lifestyle and search for a decent soul mate.. but .. obviously that's easier said than done...

To be honest.. I seems to be in that stinky shoes of that typical person that we've discussed earlier on... I am not alone... So many of my peers are also feeling the same... so.. what's the solution?... I have none... Nowadays... I seems to feel the strain of being single.. Not that I am desperate or something... sometimes.. I just feel that It'll be great if there's someone to share my life with.. Someone to rely on when I'm in doubt... maybe.. I'm just serving my punishments for the failure of my past relationships. Just what's wrong with me?... Why can't people just read me just like an open book... I'm just too too reserved. Don't ask me why.. Would it be so nice just to feel numb for a little while...

I'm going to say something real Ironic.. I hate going to work! I hate my camp! I hate the army! .. but.. when I'm working.. I would always give my 101% and work as hard as I can.. I just want to work real hard and time would fly past.. so that there's no time for me to think about my bag - full of worries... Something I've sort of Learnt from our Sebastian.. I think we're pretty much in the same sinking boat ...

There's just one thing I would very much like to clarify... Although " whatever .. life goes on " is always at the edge of my tongue... Deep inside... I know that it's very wrong to say that ..but... I don't have a choice... right now.. I don't have a life .. I mean.. just how exciting my life can be when I'm basically doing the same old things every morning?. .. " groundhog day ?" ... oh...come on! ... every day's just the same.. . just how enthusiastic I can be? so... please don't blame me.... although I truly understood that " in life... there's only one and the only choice... and.. that's NO choice .. " ... I have began to see the light...

Don't know why... Maybe it's because there seems to be an increasing number of worries and some "army" related factors ... Right now I'm am now extremely prone to flu and sore throat!... I'm am just getting sick on a very frequent basics! .. I'm getting frustrated at myself now... I just don't want my colleagues to get the impressions that I am forging my sickness to get myself a day off work... well... like I've always stressed... " I don't have a choice ..."  maybe things would get better some time during Mid-March or early April... by then.. I would have cleared most of my " Army" stuff's requirements...

" Libra - A professional or legal hassle may have burdened you, perhaps because you feel you're not in control of the situation or have not been able to adequately influence events.  When you realize that whatever you do in life comes around, you'll rediscover your resolve and determination. So cheer Up! . "

That's' my horoscope I've got from my weekly magazine " 8 Days " ... hhhmmmm... to some extend.. I thought I sounds pretty true..  Maybe all I need is just spending some quality time for myself and socializing ... then.. maybe I'll find the truth in me...  longing to spend some time on a vacation in Japan.. just to relax a little bit...

Don't you find it funny that I've been getting shopping list from some of my friends whom wanted some stuffs from Japan... hhmm.... I mean.. ( not to give anyone including myself some false hopes )... .. It's just too early to tell me your shopping list... who know.. The war might just begin... anytime now! keeping my fingers crossed as always that the world would remain as peaceful as forever but...

On another different note... I'm ..still...still ..very much looking forward to my ORD date... ( end of army ) ... which you might actually notice... there's a little " script" there below this page counting down the number of days to that holly and sacred date! .. look.. I know my actions would make you label me as a ISO certified Class A moron but... hahahaaa... these are little little things that kept me going...

Am I talking too much ? ... Don't worry.. I'm hitting my bed real soon to begin another installment of the " Groundhog Day " reality show...

" I think it's time.. something should change.. It doesn't have to be that way ... "

" Groundhog Day " is a 1993 movie which tells a story how a sickening man had changed to a loving one after he's being cursed to live the same day... everyday... yes.. the same.. he could even die on today and be fine in the next... hnmmm... you know what I'm trying to say ? ....

good night! 2244

Yesterday... I talked to the sea.. she told me to be brave and more enthusiastic towards life... She even asked me... " where's Aries? " .. I was shocked that she even remembered her.. maybe it's because I stood at the very same spot that we used to sit years ago... I answered back " she's fine with YongDa now... and I'm happy for her.. and I missed her every now and then too... ." Slowly ... the sea started to shed tears... as I stood all alone in silence... the sea told me..." you'll be just fine my dear... time would heal your scars..."

Went to an mini Poly reunion dinner at my favourite place in Singapore.. Marina South. Met many old faces and we ate our steamboat / BBQ dinner... pretty good..  It's been so long since I've seen Weiliang and karen... While we're discussing about who's going to Karen's Birthday party ... I came to know that Aries would be coming.. hhmmm.... It's been 7-8 months since I've last seen her... How should I feel...? I don't know... Dear diary.. I trusted you the most.. But I don't need your advice!... .chilled out at one Fullerton  ... nothing much~...

Ah Mah, Weiliang and lizhi had always advised me.. not to look back and feel nostalgic about my colourful past with my dear Aries... but.. that's easier said than done... maybe I should at least try...I have to brave once more.. and live the life I want to live... I would make it...

" caught a bolt of lighting... cursed the day he let it go... "

oh... I met Cheah Kok Meng... My Poly lecturer over at Holland Village food court... and pretty much updated him about my future plans... and asked my if I'm still reading much about Architecture... Of cause I did! ... looking forward to start my "new" life at Australia ... Sir.. thanks for the inspirations...! see ya soon! 2016

18 - one day MC.. slept till 10 plus in the morning... slacked the whole day~... watched videos.. did my web-page... missed my rifle range test.. nothing better to do... watched VCDs... wondered how's the range today at nee soon... ate noodles... bought my fav. 8 Days Magazine .. ate Pandan bread... day dreaming of studying at Australia ... ate medicine...played my guitar... cleared my messy table.. saw a picture of me and Aries...watch U2 on DVD... watching X Japan's Dahlia tour final DVD now..    2135

" when walking in an open territory, bother no one.. if someone bothers you.. ask him to stop.. if he doesn't .. destroy him  ... " 2057

whatever.. would you even care? I guessed it simply doesn't matters anymore    21:00

* Champion : Someone who's beyond hope till hopeless... simply cannot make it...

Anyway.. still managed to catch my fav. Show.. " Japan Hour " .... tong tong tong.. 1,2,3 .. "bla bla bla" at Suntec Level 3 .. tong tong tong., 1,2,3... whatever~ .. I still have to do guard duty ... tong tong tong... 1,2,3 ....

my condolence to all the family members who had lost their loved ones in e recent RSN incident.. let's keep our fingers crossed... 2003 would definitely be a better year for all of us !    " tong tong tong., 1,2,3...may someone up there please bless us... tong tong tong., 1,2,3... please come the day Osama would be caught~ ... "

" kiss in the dark.. Midnight time.. experience places certain park..  did I tell you .. I love you.. is that what love's suppose to do ? .. "  21:21

* tong tong tong., 1,2,3... ( extracted from a Japanese food restaurant commercial that sounds irritating.. .. )

Went out with Tubby and LiZhi.. for TCS ( Talk CoCk Session.)..it's been so so long..since we've met up.. Mr.Li ..who's going to QUT coming June.. fortunate.. and Tubby's... totally disillusioned about Architectural right now..so as my other classmates ... Architectural =  Tired, Stress.. no life... NO Future... I beg to differ... Bought a book ( Reinventing the Skyscraper ) and a magazine.. total cost a cool 100 bucks at Kino. that's 100 bucks my friend!....how I wish I could "sleep" and stay there at Kino. . Had a super full lunch/dinner at Breeks Wisma ate.. teriyaki Chicken Drumstick, Apple/cheese Sandwich.. complete with Hazelnut Cafe Latte!!  .. TCS at Lips Cafe.. drank Peach Iced Tea!.. Lovely!!  .. eat Beard PaPa...recommend them the Curry Rice @ Taka Basement.. ate our dinner at the open plaza of Taka... and I also saw the trailer for 8 mile playing at Cine Leisure... 8 cats! opening 23 Jan!!! Hurray!!!

What an enjoyable day!!! but... ... ( tomorrow guard duty ) = anti-climax .. CMI lah!!! See ya soon Tubby and LiZhi... Nitex!

Little girl, The person in France received the payment loh!! .. the...the.. hide Figures are coming !!! HIP HIP ... ... HURRAY!!!!  HIP HIP .... .... "whatever"

It's just the same old cafe.. It's just the different seat .. I still see us sitting right across.. i could even hear your beat.. I could feel something pressing on me... I could feel it coming..                                      22:24

Chan Sze Kim.. a.k.a  Brenda..  ( Lian-ster ) ... u also a cock-ster wor.. always call me to ask me about army stuff... u think I Army Dictionary or encyclopedia ah ?...  mmuauhahaha.... It's Okay one lah hor.. : p hee hee.. i just joking only.. call me up to chat when you free lor.. esp. afternoons! ...mmuahhahaaaa thanks for consoling me today... Dun worry.. I'm fine... thanks! so good to have you around...  : )   thanks for your kind words...

Little Girl, I was only giving you a compliment.. when I told you how I feel towards you .. I do not expect us to " be an item " straight away.. we needed time...I really wasn't really expecting any kind of reply.. I'm sorry.. never thought that would stress you up..  I know what we need now is also time.. to cool down a little bit.. before moving on with our friendship ~ ( transition allowances? ) ... I would never want to lose a friend like you.. so.. I would just lie low for a while... but...feel free to talk to me about your problems.. even I would not be able to solve it.. I would like to give you my listening ear~ ... I'll always be there... when you needed me... please forgive me if I've said anything wrong...

Today was a little tired.... heard someone called me " sleep - god " ... LAN LEH !!! hmmm...how they know I always sleep in the office?... hidden cameras?... whatever..~ Today ... felt quite happy at work... busy though... Mum just watched hide's " A Story " Documentary with me... hahaha... I just can't wait to return to Japan.. hide Museum... Yokosuka.. Shinjuku.. Harajuku... Shibuya... wahahahhaha.a.... I'm getting nuts!

Ah Mah : " ni jiu shi na zhi MAh! "          21:39

Desmond Yeo sunken 3104  .. I know you are reading this... I'm sorry... I've tried to stop it but... I've got too many factors to prevent me from stop.. I know you know what's the best for me... but.. thanks brother! ...   I'll Quit someday...  but.. that's the only thing i do..that can cheer me up a little.... but.. it's hard ... hope you'll quit someday too! 

so funny nowadays... now I seems to be know as " whatever .. life goes on ... " to my camp mates... this phrase had since been made famous... by me..  mmuauahahhaa.....  " e brothers w/o the ans.. full of problems... " ... Can't be bothered about anything .... feeling more jaded! than b4  ..but whatever... life goes on for me and life goes on for you anyway~.... so... what's the big deal~? mmuahahhaaa.....

Lao Mah.. Col. Quek... thanks for cheering me up.. so good to have you guys around!

" Just another cigarette... Staring at the moon yeah~... " 

are you so stressed talking to me? sometimes.. I was I could be more sensitive towards you.. which I'm still learning to be..~ I've realized the grave mistake I've made yesterday ... by going into the topic Un-intentionally again.. Silly me... I really hope that things can be normal ... going out for coffee... eating curry rice... eating Beard Pa Pa... talking Cock...  ...mmuauahahhaa....  my only comfort tonight is to look back at the happier times we've spend together... thanks!... See u Online soon ~    ; )   anyway... have a Great new year ahead and may all of your wishes come true... thanks my dear~....

.  happy new year to all.... happy new year hide! .

Day 5

Sorry Christina.. for not attending your function today...I simply doesn't have the mood to go... so sorry " Lao Poua " ... i'm feeling tired too... you would not want a stoned me to talk to you right ?.hahahaa ... have a nice day !~

LIM S.P = Tekong "S" - School of Ammo - PLAD - Newcastle - URA ??? ( wah....... Bu Shi Bah  ? ???  )

I still remember it's Friday... Colonel Quek and I was disposing some empty boxes.. Its was around 1.2 m by 650 cm long  ... he's carrying on end I'm on the other end.. Out of nowhere.. he started to sing songs ...Funeral Songs ..! and he told me like ... " this thing looks like a coffin.. ( a small -sized one ) ... I Laughed...  and I said... " poor Hobbit " ........ " Fredo" ????

yesterday night... it's the first night that you did not wish me good night... I waited and waited.. Although you are Online in ICQ ... but... I know I shouldn't Disturb you ... so.. all I have to do.. was to wait for some words of "comfort " from you... now I'm not trying to jokin-ly or mushy-ly telling you that I miss you... I'm serious.. I missed you so much now... and...you might not even see this words or even remember me....

Every little SMS I received now... I just wished it was you ...

Spent my late afternoon and evening watching hide's clips.. hahah... i  also missed him a lot.. stupid ?.. a little.. I haven't  even met him in person b4.. but.. hahaha... I remembered my my Final School project.. all my classmates were all rushing their work in the studio.. and I was watching his videos.. it's part of my research for my very own hide museum.. mmauauhahahahaaaa...good life...  what a long entry today... full of thoughts...

tell you guys one secret... I have enough money to go back to JAPAN AGAIN!!! HURRAY.... you would know the first place I'll go when I reached there.... maybe in Feb/March ??

Would you even come in and read this ?...

just why must you do this to me....why must you bring me up just to let me fall... I'm sick of the endless silence.. and why... must it be me... did you ever spare a thought for your close friend here?... why haven't you woke up to your senses ..?... I know I may sound hostile here... but..sorry dear.... you would have to grow up someday...the world don't own you a thing... the world won't whisper sweet things to your ears everyday!..  one had to move on... why stuck in the past and remained stuck there forever... what's the point?... wake up my dear~!  to be honest... the impression you give me is like... giving up our friendship...which I would be real upset if you do that~...  why did you leave me high and dry?

Morning Glory : need a little time to wake up wake up.....  ( Oasis )

I Wondered what had gone wrong.. did I say the wrong things at the wrong time?..Just why must I feel this way again... what's wrong? Perhaps.. Something's are just not meant to be... thanks for every single things you did for me.. for every moments where u stood by my side... for every sms you've sent me.. and for everything...

Thanx for that beautiful present dear ! I love it very much~!!!

sometimes.. I wish to turn back the clock.. to erase the things that I had said... sigh

STOP dreaming.. WAKE UP to reality ... ! one day... I know I'll see a brave little girl standing up... dried up all her tears in her eyes.. and whispers to my ear... " I'm ready to move on ... "  whatever her decision may be.. I would still be so glad and happy for her...

" Oh Para-Paradise ... is it so important?.. is it so far away ? " Beyond

these days.. i seems being cursed.. I've been having headache almost everyday for the past week! the pain just shifts from left to right..and from the right to the left... sigh~....  where are u when i needed you the most ?...

“Keeping the sands of our memories

 Embraced by the tears from your eye…

 Left in the middle of nowhere…

 Leaving all the hurt all behind…

 You saw the me in me …”  to KELLY

xx.xx

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17.50

19.20

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