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17th March 2004
Listening To : SENS - Peace Of Mind Time On Planet Fake? - 22.45
today.. was a pretty good day @ work.. not that I've woken up and start to enjoy my daily work but.. @ last I've managed to clear up the mess in my documentation room.. tidy up my workplace.. filed the documents in place...
went for my run.. and tried SpongeBob's product from Malaysia... " Oh Man.. " .. so deadly that I can just do with one single Fag to last the whole day ...
Asked Quek and SP Lim to accompany me to Jurong Point to buy Observatory's CD... but.. it happened to be a trip too costly for me.. accident buyer for 3 CDs when I planned for only one... oh well.... no more CDs for next month ....
CDs CDs CDs... They're all burning holes in my pocket... I've bought 4 CDs this month... 1. FAKE? 's New Skin Mini Album... 2. Observatory's Time Of Rebirth CD .. oh by the way.. Observatory is a local band.. 3. SENS's Songs For The Heart CD.. it's a best of compilation CD.. and 4. Jazz Queen Astrud Gilberto 's CD.. it's sort of like a compilation too ... and I did not dare.. to find out how much the 4 of them cost in total.. I'll kill myself...
Actually.. I've not even got my hands on FAKE? 's New Skin.. but EvOn was kind enough to burn them and transfer the mp3 to me all the way from Chiba... 4 new songs to satisfy my FAKE? addiction ... the tracks seems ok.. but.. needed more time to get used to it...
I got to know the band Observatory through the press... and after reading some rave reviews about our home grown band.. I've decide to buy their debut album... the packaging uncannily resembles Pearl Jam's 1994 Vitalogy LP..
It's sort of like a diary form with hand writing scribbles... what it surprised me was this..
The torn pages ... ! got a shock from it... * Heh * .... and what I really like was that... the CD package kind of ... felt personal.. in the sense that... ..
... with hand scribbled lyrics... drawings and even paper clipped mini photos.. it makes me feel that... the CD seems to be like their demo CD.. raw... but still... it reminds me a lot of Pearl Jam's Vitalogy ... ok.. enough of CDs... NO more CDs for me !..
Tomorrow I'm taking 1/2 day... to be honest.. I'm taking it as not to jeopardize my normal fall out time.. and secondly.. I had things to settle.. should be meeting Yaohui .. to accompany me to the Loan centers, HSBC and the May bank.. to find out about the bank loan... I'm also making a trip down to SP too.. If I can squeeze some time... need to find my lecturer... needed his help...
and coming Saturday... should be going down to Music Underground instead of Centro... cause Vincent asked me if I'll be free to go Chiong... but.. already promised my poly mates liao.. so.. hope to persuade them to go M.U instead... hahah.. two birds with one stone ..
Lookin' forward to my weekends ....
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
15th March 2004
Listening To : FAKE? - He (a) dFuc (k) Time On Planet Nostaglia - 22.02
Actually... there's really nothing special about today to write down anything but.. I'm surfing around the Newcastle University's website.. and took a look @ what facilities and services they offered.. so ah.. hairdressers... second hand book stores... and wait .... just under the section " sexual health " ...
" Condoms and dental dams are readily available from Campus Central. This is a free service we provide for our members and trust that you will use this service wisely. We have also installed condom vending machines in both the male and female toilets adjacent to the Lake Cafe Complex for your convenience. "
s Oh My Lordy ! ... safe sex for all ! ... oh well ... I'm smiling right now in disbelieve.. and.. of course.. I'm happy to be aware of that service.. ! so ah ~.. ... .... ... it'll definitely be ahhhemmm... useful ...
Now.. I'm feeling the signs of getting older... cause.. I'm now.. err... looking through a list of contact.. courtesy of Mr. Zhiming.. I know you're looking @ this.. Thanks! for doing these shits !... I mean.. I'm sure that we're appreciate your efforts ! .. oh anyway...
We chatted about some of our Primary school mates.. and some retro names sprung into my dusty mind... Shu Juan, Xiao Fing, Yuan Yuan, Hanwei, ZhiXing, Rong Zhou.. bla bla bla... and... Oh Man ... Retro !
and.. I missed that last outing cuz.. * Sigh * ... well.. I'll be present for my next one ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
13th March 2004
Listening To : Aerosmith - Back In The Saddle Time On Planet - 20.25
Just yesterday... my Mum was forcing me to take up driving lessons.. which I'm totally not interested ! .... although it'll be fully sponsored by her.. but.. I'll rather she put those money to good use..
such as using them for my living expenses overseas.. Driving seems to be one of the last things on mind mind to accomplish now.. but.. I'll go for the basic theory now.. just to keep her happy for a while and hope that she'll forget about the whole thing altogether ...
One thing I won't deny is that... a Driving license is essential .. but.. I just don't see myself getting one.. not in the near future.. ..I know I sound like a loser but.. knowing how to drive isn't in my priority list now.. the first on my shitty list.. is.. study.... What I felt is that.. my education is far more important than another skill like driving..
Yes yes.. you might say that I'll need that plastic card for my working needs or how much of a loser I am.. but... yeah... till I get a degree first.. others.. can fu*king wait ... cause I did not say that I'm not getting one... I'll learn how to drive.. someday ...
Performing guard duties are one of the things I hate.. Being trapped in the Army is also.. something I detest.. negotiating stuffs with someone who's stubborn and un-compromising... waking up too early in the morning and off to work...
and... fake plastic trees ... Yes.. I hate them too .. I also hate people who seems to be like a radio without the power-off switch.. ( I appreciate quietness and peacefulness ) ...
I hated people who gives me " empty promises " ... just like someone did to me today.. well actually.. both of us were @ fault.. I must admit.. .. here's me.. guilty of changing plans... and she.. being so ... stubborn and un-compromising ... oh well ... I guess.. we're both hot tempered and stubborn ...
oh well ...
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
12th March 2004
Listening To : Eminem - Stan Time On Planet Kill Me - 19.47
... lucky... Yours truly wasn't being activated for guard duty.. feels so good to be @ home ! but... would be better w/o that migraine... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
11th March 2004
Listening To : Suede - The Wild Ones Time On Planet Guard Duty - 21.15
Yesterday.. I did my duty with.... Ta Ta... Marc Pereira.. not that brainy Royston.. oh well.. I knew I'm gonna to be in the first detail and that Marc Pund*h offered to stand with me.. and so... anyway.. talked to him a bit.. about proper pronunciation .. argued with him a bit about religion and stuffs...
and suddenly.. yesterday.. I felt like an old bird.. in the sense that I get certain privileges.. such as getting the other detail to take over the sentry.. earlier.. * haha * all thanks to Mr.. Tanny Boy ! for waking them up @ 3.30am.. ! ... and that Shiva fellow... * sigh * ... " Mei Ta Mei Xiao " .. whatever..
and Royston was a total cock... brought 2 Econs textbooks to sentry that made my thin 8 Days magazines looked stupid... and his packing and unpacking of his luggage inside the guard rest this morning.. simply pisses me off !.. he made so much little noise.. that I couldn't fall asleep ! ... so.. I went to my office to work instead...
anyway.. my 1/2 day became .. like.. sigh.. left camp @ 1.45pm ? ...
pause for a latest update * Pte Ngan said if his fever did not sibside... I'll be activated tomorrow... *.. and I said.. whatever... Nah Beh.. God damn motherfucker ! fucking hell ..want to activate me.. fuck you.. motherfucker.. fucking faggot.. get a life fucking asshole ! .. don't you one day become my fucking reserve.. I'll make sure I'll fucking activate you regardless if I'm sick or not.. god damn fucking lame ass.. fuck you.. fuck your own fucking dick ass boy.. fuck head ! ... FUCK YOU ! god damn motherfucker ! IF I'm activated tomorrow.. I'll fucking kill you ! ...
oh well... I'm sorry there.. got a little too excited there... sorry... oh.. Quek and I left in Tanny's dad's car.. It's always so kind of Tanner always... to give me a lift out.. thanks man ! ...
reached home.. took a quick bath.. and head off to town.. and.. I'm late.. by 45 minutes... and lao mei ( Kitty ) was ...well.. she might be cursing and swearing.. * Muahahaaa * ... We got ourselves a drink and a pizza @ Breeks Ngee Ann City...
Damn.. my hair sucks !
Our Hawaiian Pizza !
My fav. Hazelnut Latte ! nice layers !
I missed talking to Kitty a lot.. it's been so so long.. since we've sat down and have a nice heart to heart chat.. oh man.. missed the good old days... when we'll hang out after lessons... confide my thoughts to her about my current sh*ts.. .. * sigh * ... and hear her sh*ts @ work... * haha * ...
gave some goody advice to my on Langkawi.. and some other beach destinations... * Oh well * .. Bintan anyone... ? * Booooo * ..... and she commented about my a little sissy bag.. * muahahaa *..
Got my second installments of my precious from EvOn.. It's just 2 hide posters.. one hide Museum one.. and a hide album poster.. and.. it's so so sweet of her.. to bring me back some pamphlets of the upcoming hide film gig event.. 3 pieces in fact ! ... * wowo hooo * .. so nice of her .... thanx EvOn !
Actually.. should be meeting Kelly @ 6pm... but.. she's feeling lazy cause it's been raining and she finds it pointless to come out just for dinner... so... * Bo Liao Loh * ... ( No More ) ... ( tanner Must be echoing these 3 words now ) * hee hee * ...
oh well... I think coming Saturday... ops... should talk about that... with regards to Murphy's law... so.. * ssshhhhiiiiiiii * ... anyway.. hope Saturday doesn't rain lah ... * Muahahaha * ..
then... Lao Mei and I took the train back.. and we're both.. sleepy... met Wonder Candle on the way... as we laughed @ our good old days.. or rather.. that cycling event with Vincent, Wonder Dog ( Ian ) , Wonder Cat ( Kitty ), Wonder Candle and myself...
wowo.. nostalgia.. it's so fun.. as we recalled where we cycled to in the middle of the night.. and Wonder Candle's bicycle's chain always went off... and how Wonder Dog's toilet roll came to good use... Missed them so much ... another trip soon ?... * Muahahhahaa *
Took 99 back.. Walking along Clementi Interchange certainly brings me tons of memories.. cause Aries always took the bus home with me... it's always that particular stretch.. that makes me.. thinks so much... oh well... * Bo Liao Loh *... enjoyed my bus ride home.. cause it's been quite some time I've taken one home..
Yeah.. although I might have nothing... but @ least I still have fond memories with me...
On the Bus...
Bright Lights...
Point Block where that girl used to stay ....
So... Would I be activate for another dose of guard duty tomorrow ?... who cares.... * foul words in my mind *... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
9th March 2004
Listening To : Oblivion Dust - Trust Time On Planet - 21.45
Hey pals.. the photos of the Feb 14th BBQ are out.. please go to the photographs section and access them by the drop down bar @ the top left hand corner..
Nice day ! . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
9th March 2004
Listening To : FAKE? - Something About You Time On Planet Itchy - 19.11
Yester night was extremely cooling.. " Man ~ .. I felt as if I'm in Tokyo... the weather's so cool ! ".. my sister said that to me.. and I was like... " yeah "... I wish I'm smack in the middle of Shinjuku right now as I type.. Missed the hospitality of the locals there.. and of course.. my beloved Japanese Curry Rice and the Ramen ! ...
There has always been talks of me and my sister returning to Tokyo coming May / June... and I hasn't really spoken to her about our homecoming... besides..
... I just thought that it would be unwise to save up for the Tokyo trip ... in view of getting ready for a possibility of an overseas education... well.. we'll see about that ..
and.. yester night.. I've caught " Lost In Translation ".. It wasn't a good show as That Girl kind of refused to catch it.. saying that the ratings aren't too good.. and I thought.. a Bill Murray movie can't be wrong. ...
and thing that attracts me about that show is... It's entirely shot in Kyoto and Tokyo ! ... oh man !... as I'm mesmerized by the breathtaking aerial views of Tokyo... and realized how much I missed Tokyo.. The bright lights... the street side eating houses... road markings.. the ever crowded markets ...
and anyway... My sister got a copy for me... and man... it's ... not up to my expectations.. it's just another.. semi plot-less movie.. * heh * ... I want to know the ending .. I want to know the ending ! ...
Sad to say.. I'm on M.C today.. not that I wanted to.. but.. I'd no choice.. I was waken up @ 6am.. just to find my whole body itchy .. and had.. to see the doc... so.. went to my GP.. but.. he's not on shift..
went back home.. popped in 2 Atarax 10mg pills.. and it instantly knocked me straight into my dreams.. when I woke up.. the rashes are gone.. so are the itchiness... some are left but.. well.. it's no longer itchy.. and the 2 pills made me sleepy for the whole damn day ! ...
Tomorrow... Royston and I duty... * Hurray *.. and I'm so happy... so.... happy... yes.. I am indeed.. very very happy... can you sense my excitement?.. damn ! ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
8th March 2004
Listening To : Sammi Cheung - Kuai Le Bu Kuai Le Time On Planet - 17.44
Together forever again ?
a few years ago.. this very date .... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
6th March 2004
Listening To : Yngwie Malmsteen Time On Planet Shitty - 23.57
16.00 - What a Saturday... went off to work.. help SP Lim and Colonel Quek do a bit of the ah.. RAG shits... oh boy.. there's a lot.. beyond my expectations... so.. anyway... help them for around 45 minutes.. anyway.. it's a good form of exercising..
and.. went back to the admin area and went for my run. and.. I'm delighted with myself.. it's my first step today of keeping myself fit.. oh well .. just don't want to waste any time sitting around in the office staring at the blank air..
Sat @ Boon Lay MRT
while waiting for that
... while waiting for her.. I was approached my this girl who wanted to sell me her discount coupons for the Danish Ice cream.. and 30% of the earnings would be donated to charity. and.. why not.. 5 dollars.. in the name of charity ..
Recorded her songs on MD.. and she's lying on my bed reading magazines... *heh* ... so.. I'm bored.. So.. just writing these down.. * heh * ... damn.. my Migraine's back to visit me again.. wondered when would be the day.. that I could break free from it.. bored.. tomorrow's my guard duty again... if only I could be excused.. but... no point... oh well ..... that's a beautiful lie my friend.. fuck the sentry ! ...
23.34 - just finish my bath..
( afternoon ) so.. so she still continued to read my magazine and that big head Ella called me... saying that he's approaching my block inside Charles's car... and so.. while Kelly went for her second serving of fag.. I went down to have a short chat with them.. Ok.. " I wasn't doing anything okay.... " : )
and we went off to Causeway Point to catch " Big Fish " ... Kelly enjoyed the show very much... while I suffered throughout.. We were just 4 rows ahead of the giant screen ... and with my Migraine.. I almost couldn't make it...
After the show.. We sat down and have a chat.. It was then I realized her pain.. her burden... her problems.. and I realized that.. It's totally impossible to lead parallel lives with her.. the obligation of me caring for her is too great ...
almost an impossible task of putting her aside and lead my own life.. and even as I write.. I still smell her presence.. * gee * .. no lah .. I'm wearing the t shirt and shorts she wore just now.. * heh * ..
and It seems that.. we're forever confused on where should we go from here... it's always an endless question without any logical answers...
And I'm really glad that she confide in me so many of her worries and thoughts... and she should feel slightly better after pouring out her misery ... I'll pray for her... I'm fucking worried about her... sigh~.. ...
So.. it's getting late.. and I'm tired... tomorrow's my guard duty.. sigh... fuck the sentry ! ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
5th March 2004
Listening To : Hanoi Rocks - A Day Late, A Dollar Short Time On Planet Euphoria - 21.45
She makes me pain.. whenever she crosses my desert of thoughts.. any explanation would be futile as my broken heart couldn't contain all the endless sorrows she'd left behind with me.. Inhaling all the fond memories, I had yet.. found a place to rest my body...
She won't take me to the place I want to be.. where she used to bring me to nurse my wounds.. So many times I tried to break the concrete walls of illusions... and So many times I've fallen from grace... would there ever be a day .. when I've forgotten how to breathe .. forgotten my life... forgotten about...
Staring at the scars of time you've given me... such a sight.. such a treasure.. that would follow me wherever I go.. As I put our dead love to rest... another chapter of my life slowly embraces me... as I broke into another burst of hysterical laughter filled with sadness..
Sitting in the evening sunlight.. serene and beautiful... as I tried to shake off the haunting illusions of everlasting love... too many dreams were broken.. Won't you still want to chase the rainbows with me? ... please abuse my distorted mind...
I should had noticed it.. I had longed so much for your smile.. for a moment there... I felt you crawling underneath my wrinkled skin... My wound had inevitably started to open up once again.. and everything had frozen..
Fade away... Fade away... Dream away .. . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
5th March 2004
Listening To : UFO - I'm A Loser Time On Planet " Cheer Up " - 18.40
As every single minute passed me by.. I'm getting older.. well.. I hate to grow up.. that's just too much for me to take.. wondered why.. Do we really have to grow old.. ?
Every time I meet up with my Primary, Secondary and Poly friends.. I would some how let my thoughts run wild and visualize what would we become in 10 years down the road.. Yuppies ? ... Job-less ?... always in a buoyant mood every time we meet?.. or just depressed about our endless problems?.. Struggling to pay off the bank Loan ? .. Married to the wrong wife?... Endless possibilities ...
And the funny thing is that.. Time.. in fact.. travels @ different speed. .. When you'\re having fun.. time files... and.. when you're in shits... time crawls.. and I remember just yesterday.. I began life in DCC... and now.. almost one freaking year had passed... and I'm ..still in a dazed..
but that doesn't implies that I love being in the army.. .. Damn.. and In.. 10 long months.. ( or a rather short period you might say.. ) .. I'll be a free man... But Wait...
I still have not even secured the finance for my studies.. and man.. I should be a little worried.. or rather.. Very worried now.. I better start doing my home work.. and my portfolio for the URA is ... in a mess... haven't consulted my lecturer about that ... * damn * ..
What if when I ORDed and I'm still ... direction - less ... No Money... no Job.. nothing in my pocket .. maybe I should consider what Isabella told me... Be A Hermit ... no no no .. My parents were not the CEO of DBS Bank...
The real world is often cruel.. do we really meet someone as true as your friends you've made in your secondary schools out there?... oh well ... maybe the 5 letter word trust isn't the same word used in the past ... and now.. it's the 5 words that matters.. " Welcome To The Real World " . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
4th March 2004
Listening To : Beyond - Love Time On Planet Resort - 16.49
Dear fellow members of our Genting Jinx Gang... Inc some invited new members... As discussed, there would be an up-coming outing again ! .. Some of the exotic locations suggested are being filtered out , such as The Bali Bombing site... Meeting Indonesia's Megawati.. experiencing Jakarta's riots.. and even Colonel Quek's live firing of the AK-47 @ some woooo loooo Island..
So... here're some references..
Langkawi - http://www.oocities.org/sg/headonsticks/travel.htm
Miri Island ? Phuket? or Langkawi?
AirAsia - http://www.airasia.com/general.php?p=pmain&l=en
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
4th March 2004
Listening To : FAKE? - Cut Time On Planet Storm - 12.05
For the past few days.. I've been messaging my dear old friend, Isabella.. and I'm a little worried about her. Her Boss has been giving her tons of problems and.. she's just plain jaded now.. hope I've managed to cheer her up a little ... * heh * ... Poor soul ..
Yesterdays' was Xiao Ting Tang's last Duty Celebration.. which turns out to be a mini reunion of the ORDed personals.. so happy to see Thomas, Charles and the same airy Alan ... had lotta fun but.. could have been better if there's a four-some show.. * heh *.. lots of water activities .. haven't had such fun for ages ! ...
And... sadly I wasn't spared from being poured even though I was on my guard duty... but still.. my pants managed to dry before my next shift .. * Phew * ... Now.. I'm afraid of accumulating some bad karma *ahahahha *.. so.. dudes.. No Last duty / ORD celebrations for me ah... anyway.. all of you guys would have left loh .... * Muahhahaha *
My duty yesterday seems to be pretty long.. very tired... and was totally drained @ 0410 hrs .. courtesy of Mr. Du... " Don't be a Du Lah ! " ... haven't ran this much for ages ...
Damn.. can't seem to shake off my headache since yesterday... and for today.. I'll refrain myself from taking another dose of Paracetamol .. hmmmm ... well.. I guess eating too much of that stuffs isn't too good for my liver... Oh Well ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
1st March 2004
Listening To : FAKE? - Larva Time On Planet - 20.47
Indian Demo Team !
In fact... I realized that people.. are still very much fascinated by those mean flying machines.. State of the Art war birds.. Those colourful flying displays brings so much joy to the audience..
F - 111 In Action ! . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
" Life's
like a dream
29th February 2004
Listening To : FAKE? - Lemon Tune Time On Planet Fake - 20.50
Woke up @ 7.45.. Damn.. I set my alarm to 8.15. and.. *Duh*.. Called Vincent to see if he's awake.. packed my shits.. in my NEW bag.. and damn.. I seems to had a fetish for bags these days.. got dressed and left home.. I was very lucky indeed... not to get any hangover shits...
Reached Vin's void deck.. and walked towards the bus stop and.. and.. I realized that I had forgotten to bring something important.. the tickets to the Air Show.. * feeling dumb * .. so.. had to waste time to get it..
and we.. were pretty late.. reached there about 11.45.. after all the long jams due to security checks.. and we watched the first flying display of the 3 helicopters on the bus.. the minute we alighted from the bus.. we crossed the road to the bay of the SAF ferry terminal.. to catch the flying display..
It's the same old moves.. same old planes.. except for the F-111 which is here for the first time .. * ahhh * .. I'm only looking forward to that one.. as I've seen all of the rest of the planes a few years back.. but.. they're flying too far from the crowd.. so..
.. and anyway.. I loved this picture the most.. anticipated them to do this move so I got my cam ready and half pressed my shuttle... and ladies and gentleman.. the India Demo Team .. but.. I thought that the Read Arrows from the Brit were better.. and Even our very own Black Knights might.. also.. be better ...
Me with an F-15E crew...
Overall.. Aerospace 2004 is a waste of time.. same old exhibits.. same old layout.. same old planes.. Dejavu?.. Definitely.. well.. my 5th show in ten years.. and the notable difference is the absent of naval aircrafts from the aircraft carries... like the E2C and the F/A -18.. all missing... and my beloved F-14 had gone missing since the 1994 show * BOOoo *
After the show.. Met EvOn to collect my precious and to treat her the long overdue Fish N' Co. meal..
My Precious - 1/ 6 hide guitar Model, Lemoned file. X Japan's last Live DVD .. 4 hide guitar picks.. and FAKE?'s CD... Yeah.. and I still have 2 posters with her... now.. as I'm reflecting upon EvOn's words.. I think.. I would stop.. or rather.. I MUST stop collecting hide's stuffs... cause.. It's pretty pointless to increase my collections.. one day I might just put them up @ Ebay...
Inoran's Fan Club Card and.. INORAN's PICK !!!!!!
and I'm fucking broke.. spend too much this month.. and so.. coming March.. I'll be restricting myself a lot... no more unnecessary spending... ! Donations anyone ?
and so... My happening weekend had officially ended.. Wait.. 3 more hours... * heh.. does it really matters ? * ... back to work tomorrow... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
28th February 2004
Listening To : - Time On Planet - Written on 29/2/4
" Angel... Don't be sorry... Don't worry ... This would happen anyway.. I Guess ... " Inoran - Monsoon Baby
Oh well... Had a pretty lovely weekend... Went out with my poly gang on Saturday.. but I met Nicole first @ Wisma 7pm... and I knew that she'll be.. late... and so.. playing smart.. me too.. left home around 15 - 20 minutes late.. and when I'm on the bus.. she messaged me and said .. " Ops.. I'll be late "...
It's ok.. then she said she'll be there @ 7.30.. so.. 7.30.. after 2 fags and endless counts of washroom trips.. she's still nowhere... and she called to let me know that she's on a cab and would reach in 15 minutes.. but.. till around 7.58.. then the queen arrives... so.. I loitered for a whole 45 minutes.. * gee. thought I was smart enough * but.. could had been smarter ...
So.. our dinner was up in smoke cause we'll have to meet up with the rest of them.. Benny, MingHui, FongMing, ZhiCang... It's been ages since we've met up.. so.. got my project shop bag and had a quick bite @ the McDonalds.. and headed off to Clarke Quay..
And.. I thought that the N.E line was pretty cool.. and Yesterday's my first ride.. hee hee.. As expected.. the rest of them were already there waiting for Nicole and myself.. late again.. Sat down and have a couple of drinks @ the Crazy Elephant Bar.. but.. it's so so diluted.. felt like drinking lime juice... * sucks *..
and so.. we move on for Boat Quay.. and I can't remember that name of the bar... Was it Chocolate Bar.?.... hmmm... I don't know what we drank but... I tell you.. It just taste so good!.. must find out more about that drink from M.H. .. played some dice games.. and Dennis later joined us but.. Zhicang and I had to leave early.. so.. * sob sob * .. I have to wake up early for the air show.. so.. March 27th?.. next outing.. or rather.. drinking... again ... * YeaH ! * ...
* Back To My Drinking Days ! *
.. On the windows on the bus 179... * Yeah * .. wonder if I'm in his list . ... .. .. . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
27th February 2004
Listening To : The Cure - Friday I'm in Love Time On Planet Ache - 20.29
Finally brought back Izabella back from Swee Lee two days ago.. that cool Malay dude helped me a lot by explaining the chim-mi-logy ( Profound ) terms.. and now .. it sounded so much better ! ... played on the 2003/4 Les Paul ( S$ 3500 ) and The Fender Jaguar as well ...
My comp was recently infected with a worm spread via ICQ.. * damn * ... the feeling of the whole shit was just like the victim of that Japanese movie.. The Ring... Been directed to a website.. and... got the worm... Luckily.. there wasn't any phone calls the minute I entered the worm site ... * Since got it out of my system via the McAfee Scan ... *
* My apologies to all those who had received the worm link from my ICQ.. *
Took 1/2 day as usual after my duty... was much exhausted... The camp seems to be falling apart ... had an unshakeable jinx... just couldn't shake it off.. it's been close to 5 months of curse.. and.. it's getting nowhere better ... and today.. there's still some shi*ts happening.. well .. felt a little guilty for not staying back to help out a bit... but .. ... but ... ..
It's always so kind of NiCoLas to call @ home to let me know my duty dates.. and so * Ha Ha * got to know that I'll be doing on the 3rd March.. and that's Doremon's last duty.. * Pre-planned with Sgt Lee? * .. don't know.. and I'm gonna pour water on Doremon ! ... * Muahhaha * ... Xiao Ting Tang ! ...
It's a Friday once again... and my weekends should be pretty fun ! ...
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
22nd February 2004
Listening To : Jimi Hendrix - Izabella Time On Planet Betrayal - 18.30
Woke up @ 9 plus.. a little too early ?... ya.. maybe.. logged on line to find yahoo's geocities lagging again.. since yesterday .. * damn * ... early afternoon.. went downstairs to buy myself fags and a copy of New Paper. On the cover.. It's about underage smoking.. - SheeSha ! ... * ahhahaha * ... " Teens find new way to puff "...
Personally .. I find no " Hoo - Ha " about SheeSha.. It's nothing special except it's flavours... and I had never expected SheeSha to make it to the front page... and the owner of Cafe Le Caire ( the one I think I went there the last time ) said ...
" They've got to be pretty dumb if they don't think it's smoking. Singaporeans are well-traveled and many have tried smoking sheesha overseas.. They know what it is. "
Cock... does those under 18 years of age had the chance to go that far overseas to try / discover seesha?.. Here I am.. ripe old 22 years old.. and just got to know what the F is sheesha months ago.. Maybe I'm just not knowledgeable enough.. as compared to those brainy 18 year old kids of today.. our Nintendo Generation..
And Dr.Loo from SGH quoted that youngsters are deluding themselves if they think that Sheesha is safe to smoke.. and there you go ... SheeSha... but.. I'll rather stick to my usual fag ... just feels better ...
Next.. Cheating Spouse ... Hot hot topic ( attn LimSP ).. I read this ' a Women's story ' and holy cow.. this women in her 30's had 3 boyfriends and a husband ! .. and she is just fucking tactical.. which I won't go into it ... but.. for the top 10 cheating signs * drum roll please ... *
For the Man :
1) He talks w/ his wife about their future together as a family.
2) He pays closer attention to his wife.
3) He keeps constant eye contact on his wife in public situations.
4) He has deep, emotional talks w/ his wife.
5) He gets his wife pregnant.
6) He spends more ' quality time ' with his wife.
7) He pretend he is happy with his wife.
8) He spends less time away from his wife.
9) He tells his wife that he is satisfied with their relationship .
10) He does not discuss his mistress with anyone.
and.... For the ladies :
1) She maintains her daily routine..
2) She doesn't change her physical look.
3) She always return home @ the same time each day.
4) She wears that ' relationship ring ' all the time.
5) She does not discuss the new partner all the time .
6) She becomes more romantic with her husband.
7) She attends fewer parties as to be seen less.
8) She has more often with her husband.
9) She rekindles romance with her husband.
10) She doesn't act like anything ' different ' ...
and fuck.. I felt Dr Bradley and Dr Todd 's studies and research are nothing but a piece of shit.. What the FUCK they're talking about.. I mean.. I felt that all of the top ten signs mentioned above seem.. ( isn't some of this what normal loving couples do?.. ) ..
I mean.. I won't suspect if my wife's having an affair when she maintains her daily routine.. has more often with her husband... or becomes more romantic with her husband.. so.. I should be suspecting when she wanted to make out with me more often ?... * Gosh * ...
and.. for my wife... When I got my wife pregnant.. should she be suspecting that I'm having some extra activates outside.. if so.. The Private investigators must be making BIG money.. and I should just ditch my plans for architecture and be a P.I instead... and I suggest that you might also as well join me ... you see... just make a trip down KK hospital and you should be able to clinch lotta deals..
.. maintain eye contact might be suspicious too.. so .I should be making less eye contact with her and she ended up saying that I'm being non attentive to her talks...
ok ... picture this.. one day.. after a long day's work.. you go home to your wife.. stared into her starry eyes.. " dear I loved you so much .. ".. and she slaps you in the face... " you' must be having an affair.. ! " ...
and If I showed less attention to my wife and she'll say I'm not sensitive enough to her needs... and If one day I've made enough money and decides that I should shower her with a romantic getaway @ Barcelona.. and there ... would she accuse me of fooling around?...
and relationship isn't that simple anymore ( as compared to the older generation's concept of love ) ... tactical methods of cheating.. having an friend as a 24 hr alibi ... is love nowadays all about cheating behind one another's back ?.. where's the love where everything seems so pure?... gone ... with the wind...
and ... gone were that days where man are usually the one who cheats.. Welcome to 2004..and the ladies are catching up ... should I be paranoid ?.. beats me ...
In conclusion... Don't get married.. * Muahahha * .. kidding.. in fact.. If you don't trust your significant other.. simply get a fucking divorce .. get separated !.. what's love w/ trust ?
and I believe that Dr Bradley and Dr Todd are 2 losers... who might be still single @ the age of 68 and a half ... * damn * .. demoralizing articles everyday ...
* damn.. how come these day's I'm getting more long-winded?.. * . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
21st February 2004
Listening To : nothing Time On Planet - 23.55
Went to work on a fine Saturday... or rather.. a LAZY one.. and boss was also not around... only left Ah Hoong and myself.. " Mah Dun Go " took urgent leave... * yeah * ... It's been so so many Saturdays that I've either on Off or duty off... * heh * ... Late morning.. Lee Ec came in and... styled SP Lim and Meow's hair using the Wax.. tried a little and it seems not bad.. smells great too ! ...
Mr. Tea a.k.a Ah Wu Drew this on my wrist.. and it's still on my hand now !
Took a short nap.. before heading down to city hall to get my guitar's parts.. I had to go to Davis Guitar shop to get my pots and that chio daughter spoke to me with a HEAVY accent.. which makes my proper English sounds like some ah beng singish.. damn.. anyway.. bought the pots and walked all the away to Bras Brasah...
Passed the tone pots to that dude and I examined my Izabella.. the knobs were out.. re-wired... the plastic covers were also out.. string- less.. seldom get to see her clean look... touched her neck before I dashed off to meet Antonio ...
I tell you.. I might just had my best dinner just now.. It's @ the cafe on the fifth floor of Herren... ok.. there's this set meal promotion.. 17.90 dollars... so.. it consist of a main course.. soup.. a drink.. and a scoop of ice cream..
so.. glancing through the menu.. I saw the main course of different.. the cheapest was around 8 ++ and the most expensive was like 14 ++ .. and ... who in the right frame of mind would choose the cheapest one knowing that he'll be paying a flat rate for a set dinner.. and so.. We ordered that steak.. ( the most expensive one ).. plus.. the most expensive soup.. ( 5++ ).. and a drink..
and mine was steak - 14 - 15 ++ , Cafe Latte - 4 ++ , and the seafood soup 5 ++ plus ice cream .. total up... 15+4+5 = 24 dollars.. which was ... * you know... * paying 17.90 for a 24 dollars worth of food... I giggled uncontrollably while ordering.. which pretty much affected the waitress taking our order..
* ai Yah * .... I think.. the set meal's serving was less than the full blast one lah ... lame... but.. the meal was great anyway ...
As usual.. aimless walking.. I hate to shop during weekends.. damn.. and around evening... he did something that.. made me ashamed of myself..
There's this old man... who had difficulties walking to the washroom @ MacDonald Clementi.. he's carrying tons of load.. and he approached the lady sitting .. asked her to keep an eye on his stuffs while he's away in the Gents... and that lady just mumbled a bit and walked off to get her food...
and.. Antonio offered to help.. walked a few steps and carried his two red plastic bags and put them next to me.. I was laughing silently.. laughing of what?.. I'm clueless... I thought he's so brave as he offered his help.. and he asked me.. " You'll do the same right ?... " ... and I gave him an un convincing " yes "... I'm too " pai seh " ( embarrassed ) to do that... and fuck myself... I should be so ashamed of myself... fuck me ! ... I'm such an ass. .. . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
20th February 2004
Listening To : Depeche Mode -Somebody Time On Planet Rest - 19.55
Just an ordinary day.. got pretty high on fag early this morning @ camp... * Wonder Why *... hasn't got so good for ages.. plus the Grass Jelly drink ... wowo.. walked into r2 as I enjoyed the breeze... did a fast one and... * Thanks for the ride man * ... super busy @ work.. . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
19th February 2004
Listening To : Culture Club - time Time On Planet Love - 21.45
Falling in Love... swallowed by sadness... Do We truly feel what our heart tells us to feel .. or .. it's just our brain who's the true devil?.. beats me... Love could easily lift us up.. and could destroy us in a flash ... It seems pretty obvious that someone's " Wei Qin Shou Kun " ... ( troubled by the matters of the heart ) ...
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
18th February 2004
Listening To : Portishead - Numb Time On Earth - 20.43
I was really reflecting what Mah had told me yesterday... that I was one of the weird species... not in a way that I stinks too much nor having a skill of GPMG. ... I think he's very true ... I'm a freaking depressed person.. always being tortured by my fabricated worries ( as Mah Claims ) ...
Maybe I'm born with it or maybe not... but I'm truly sick of myself.. but.. I've always thought that when I left the army... My mood won't be as distorted as now.. I don't know...
He says my life right now... doesn't seems have any major concerns for me to worry about... I have my own room.. decent level of education.. 3 meals a day... decent guitar... internet.. bla bla bla...
And I'm not trying to say I'm discontent with that level of luxury .. but .... ... how about my finances for my studies?... relationship woe about Kelly?... but I think I'll have to give it all up about the latter... and I totally felt kind of frustrated and a little lost...
I've already been worn down by Kelly for the past 2 months.. and today.. is the day I should give it all up... I've said this too many times over the years... but.. it all happens to be recurring... It's really affecting me a lot these days...
well... when the shit hit the fan ... I guess I really needed some form of soul searching... What do I really want in life?.. to be the shit that hits the fan?... not really ... What.. can really give me a shot in the arm?...
and today I'm not going to say ... " Life Sucks ! " - although it really IS ! ... and I really needed some time.. to get myself back again.. How?.. I Don't know.. oh well ....
Mah asked me this question... " If You were being able to choose who you'll be reborn as? " ... Initially.. I mentioned someone like slash.. but on second thought... My answer would be the same as his... I.e " To be an improved version of oneself " ... I would not want to be the same fucked up Zhengping as I am today...
I want to be the improved version of myself.. " right here.. right now " Attitude?...
And In fact.. I had so many things to do on my list.. but... I never seems to get it started.. Fuck Myself ! Muahahahaa !
"And when I start
my new life I won't touch the ground, On another different note altogether. ..
Going for the free education @ Germany seems to be distant once again.. and after today's report.. it's even .. more distant.. I think.. the one and only road to my studies is... to get a loan.. and be a slave to the wage in future ( to re pay the loan ) ... Get a decent job... chill out after work ... life of a yuppie ... cool ! get married and maybe a child or two.. but HEY ... Isn't that most of us wanted ?
I think... I've spoken too much ...
Suddenly.. I felt so fucking enlighten ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
18th February 2004
Listening To : Rage Against The Machines - Ppl of the Sun Time On Planet Sleep - 13.41
Check this out..
Robbie Williams Dying age @ 71 .. wanna test yours ? Check out this ( Click Me ) .. and I'll be gone @ 70 ... * heh * . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
17th February 2004
Listening To : Rage Against The Machines - testify Time On Earth - nil
took 1/2 day off from work .. yeah.. just felt that I needed some kind of break from work.. although I still had some sh*ts @ work to clear.. damn ! .. Met Mah to send in my guitar for service... my gui's aged a little.. it's a '96 piece.. the neck's a little out of shape.. the tone pots rusted ... it's about time..
I was amazed.. cause that shop assistant could even tell me .. the exact day and year my guitar was made.. and.. wow... and asked me a few questions like.. " Do you play guitar everyday... ".. no... and that stupid Mah suan me.. KNN ... and the funny thing is that dude even attempt to buy this guitar from me... what for?.. He's like working in a shop full of gibby Les Paul lor. . * ?? *
walked around.. fag fag fag ... ate Burger King.. AGaiN ! * W.T.S * ... all because there's this Burger King Staff giving out these discount coupons.. Mah : It's a Gift ! ... and pretty much decides my dinner.. That girl that served me.. kind of gave me a very warm feeling.. it's like.. some how felt like a long lost friend kind of feel.. but anyway...
the counter girls are .. putting up a " slave for the wage " face.. leading a mono life... talked sh*ts about guitar gear and playing on the train and Mr.. Cheong smsed me if I wanted to meet @ the park underneath my block to chat with my Primary school friends..
and " why not.. " it's been 1-2 months since I've last met them.. chatted about planes and their engines and stuffs and the upcoming AA'04 ...
Now.. I missed Izabella ( my guitar ) ... so much ! * aarrggg * ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
15th February 2004
Listening To : James Brown - Funky Good Time Time On Planet Restart - 19.44
Mondays always come too soon... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
15th February 2004
Listening To : David Tao - Fei Ji Chang De 10.30 Time On planet sadness - 8.51 am
After sending the girl off @ the MRT station @ 6 plus.. I went home to catch another 1.5 hours of nap. When I reached the BBQ site.. all of the folks were.. already there... I'm the last one...
overall... the BBQ sh*t's quite fun.. but.. I don't know but till the end.. 4-5 dudes were sitting in a row along the parapet wall and sang their hearts out.. and I felt a little sad for a while.. just kind of bought my morale down.. It seems that we're just a bunch of losers who had no where to go on Valentine's Day .. and.. ended up having a BBQ...
The 3/4 of the BBQ gang
Tasty !
eavesdropping on SP Lim's Private conversation...
In Action !
This can of coke exploded ... kept in the freezer compartment for too long.. . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
14th February 2004
Listening To : Gn'R - Don't Cry Time On Planet sadness - 19.31
February is always associated with the season of love.. and for those who're not attached.. it's always the season of shitty loneliness.. and for yours truly; me.. ... I'm in the middle..
Woke up by the unusual early sms by that fat boy.. asking me the 351st time if I'm coming down to the BBQ later on.. and I said yes 352 times... went to central to send my stuffs to Evon.. got the 2 packets of chocolates .. had a fag.. and went home to pack the girl's present..
Met up with the girl @ 1.30 JP after her work before she came over.. shopped around .. bought some tidbits.. planned to catch Finding Nemo.. but in the end.. we didn't.. but.. watched Gareth Gate's VCD instead.. and helped her transfer her songs to her MD.
Today.. I kind of felt a wall between the girl and myself.. don't know why... not meant to be ... so near yet so far ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
13th February 2004
Listening To : FAKE? - Someday Time On Earth - 22.04
The girl called and ask if I'm free to accompany her to catch the singer's showcase down town yesterday evening.. but.. I had guard duty.. It's been so long since I've heard her voice that was filled with enthusiasm and happiness... but.. still.. I'll be stuck in camp for duty...
Her request was absurd and sigh... * Muahhaha * .. But.. she's feeling disappointed as the shots she took with my camera did not turn out well.. I'm surprised.. she used to own a Canon V2 last time.. maybe tomorrow...
time passed like lightning yesterday.. and today... It was almost supersonic.. that Navy dude came and did his voucher sh*ts early in the morning and I couldn't even squeeze time to send in my riffle... and while entertaining that Navy fellow.. I had to print Millions of sealing certs... well.. not really millions... maybe thousands?... well...
Once I started printing... I knew that my 1/2 day was instantly gone.. while the gang were all stuck inside the explosive area.. I and ah Hoong stayed behind.. and.. I print my labels non stop... Lunch was lousy... skipped it.. ate noodles instead...
Around evening Chee came into DCC inviting me for a fag which I just took minutes ago.. and talked about how he made that coca colo loving alien do a " water parade " ... After drinking his can of... coke...
and while I was fagging outside DCC .. sitting on that cheap plastic chair facing the parade square.. and Finally I felt tranquility for the first time in 9 - 10 hours.. the view.. was almost lovely.. the clouds sliding across the dim skies.. birds chipping... enjoying my one and only fag courtesy of the SP Lim.. peace...
printed a few more hundred plus for the duty team.. and packed my sh*ts and call it a day... almost dead... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
11th February 2004
Listening To : Nil Time On Earth - Nil
took 1/2 day.. but left camp pretty late.. met up with Mah and I've had some sh*ts to do in town.. Got my hair cut @ my favourite salon but.. I was exactly happy about the result.. I preferred a comb down.. but apparently... my hair these days could... not stay down.. and.. Couldn't dye my hair and so.. the layers looked... flat... damn !
but.. when I was styling my hair @ the gents.. and thought... " ya.. pretty alright ... not too bad.. "... and I told Mah that... " Ken Lloyd's Hair Style.. "... and he said that he was more Ken Lloyd than me.. the hip shoes and that dropping below waist line jeans that could just... drop any second...
Changed some Japanese Yen for EvOn for the stuffs.. and shocked to know that... 1000 yen = 16 Sing.. and... 1.5 years ago.. it's like 1000 Yen = 14 Sing.. sigh... shopped around and bought the Rage Against The Machine's CD. Shopped around.. got myself 2 books.. @ Times Suntec... and got her gift @ Top Shop too... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
10th February 2004
Listening To : FAKE? - Cut
Was it today?... Ya.. I think it's today that Mah, SP Lim and Quek tagged team and laugh at me about the plan of " Putting my face into hide's body "... hahaha.. very funny.. yeah.. maybe to satisfy you all.. I might do one that's making a fool of myself tomorrow.. * laugh @ myself * ... well.. if it turns you on * Muhahahah * ... but for now..
It's our Mah ! Yeah.. horsie horsie horse horse... * Meeahheeaahhaa.... * so.. who's my next victim ?.. Quek Quek ?...
" Sorry Mah Mah.. I never meant to hurt you ... I never meant to make you cry but tonight.. I'm cleaning up my closet.. "
Your ORD gift from me... You won't get offended right ?... In the name of fun... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
9th February 2004
Listening To : FAKE? - Static
Maybe... One day @ our very own Singapore Idol... ? Sp Lim would make it to the world stage ... * Go Sp Go * .. !
* Muahahaa... * No offense to anyone... but.. SP LIm should represent PLAD or maybe Singapore.... ! Yeah !
Yeah... and my stupid ulcer's still under my tongue.. and.. having a headache too ! ... sucks ! . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
7th February 2004
Listening To : KISS - Hard Luck Women
Arrgg ! ! !... had a terrible ulcer since yesterday morning... and today.. it's nowhere better.. damn !
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
6th February 2004
a holiday... Yes.. a holiday is exactly what I needed the most ... I needed to get out of this mess.. and put my soul to rest.. and I'm thinking of having a short getaway via the newly established budget airlines... $ 70++ dollars to Bangkok.. ?... why not?.. but.. maybe not Bangkok... had been there twice...
and... yesterday.. while I'm surfing around... I found.. Inoran's Live Journal... and.. I thought I was a prank... or some punk trying to fake his identity.. but as I read on.. I think that... it might be his after all...
well.. I saw.. ken Lloyd's.. Sugizo's.. Shinya's.. J's... and what they wrote down and their content... pretty much convinced me that... they're themselves... their first entry was like around 2002 June.. and they had not updated their journal for a while... Inoran's latest was in December.. so.. are they real ?... anyone?...
http://www.livejournal.com/users/inoran/
http://www.livejournal.com/users/sugizo/
http://www.livejournal.com/users/j_onose/
http://www.livejournal.com/users/kenlloyd/
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
5th February 2004
Today.. I thought I heard someone mentioned that American Idols audition.. yes.. that dude who did that Ricky Martin She Bangs. Personally.. I think Ricky Martin is a gay.. oh.. back to topic.. anyway.. read from the papers that .. that dude's called William Hung.. and he's got fan site ( Click Me ) ! ... gotta have a look ..
" She Bangs... she bangs.. ".. and.. he banged out of American Idols Audition ...
have u seen his vid yet?... well.. It's quite funny as that chap's hopeless.. BUT... he took criticism so well... If I'm the one who'd been told off by the forgotten and failed female singer.. and one fat ass who badly needed liposuction.. and a foul mouthed shithead.. I would surely lose my cool and curse them all to eternal hell ...
and I also thought that William Hung's very ... very brave.. I'm not sure if he's a distant relative of Ivan Chan but.. what he did during the auditions was... very.. brave.. I won't do that for sure... and what he said what ... truly commendable..
"I already gave my
best. I have no regrets at all." wow.. what a dude.. ! .. but but but... he still... resembles Ivan Chan ... what a dude... ... ! . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
4th February 2004
Yes... Finally... the occupation is ( soon to be ) over.. finally... I can look forward to better days... days of living in fear can now be written in the history books... I need not fear of those weird shitty forecast now... just keeping my fingers crossed that ... the news would be concrete soon ... I thought that this victorious day might never come... the world.. might just be a little better now... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
3rd February 2004
Do you still remember those walks we took?... Do you still remember how the waves of the oceans whispers their secrets to us?.. Do you still remember how we cheated ourselves into believing love?... Do you still remember how we pushed back the hands of the rusty clocks in my room?... Do you still remember the day we watched the sun climb up the milky orange skies?.. Do you still remember the moment we vowed never to lose our faith?... Do you still remember the day?... Do you still remember the day when I first held your hand?.. Do you still remember the day the flowers died?.. come and ... join the massacre.... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
1st February 2004
Well.. Just hope that the things she said would come true... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
31st January 2004
last day of the month.. and I was bored to tears on a typical Saturday Afternoon... and the gathering of my friends was cancelled ... so.. called up Antonio and asked if he'd any program.. so ..caught Scary Movie 3 on VCD and left home to meet him @ Holland Village...
Walked around and settled on the famous Katong Laksa... Delicious.. even for someone like me who don't take hot food... and ate two very very ordinary Roti Prata.. was was pretty much of a disappointment...
Had a fag session with Yaohui later on and talked about some of our classmates... some Married.. and some.. bla bla bla... It's weird that friends around my age got married... and in fact... most of them kind of regret it...
Husband who're too stoned or stingy... not enough communication between them... Husbands who got married and had a child.. who had no sense of responsibility.. who could even go missing for several nights without any shit...
and.. it's weird.. how did the girl agreed to get married while the couple was so un-compatible in the 1st place?... Love's Blind... and now.. regrets...
Look @ the Stars... Look how they shine for you ...
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
30th January 2004
As I'm listening to David Tao's " Fei Ji Chang de 10.30 ".. I'm also overwhelmed by David Tao's kind of approach in his musical styles... very... sincere in his lyrics... I wasn't even sure if the word sincere was appropriate.. it's just.. almost magical ..
I could almost very well being able relate this particular song to myself.. and while listening... those endless bittersweet memories virtually swallowed me ... It takes someone to be happy.. to write a cheerful song.. and It also.. takes someone to feel heartbroken ... to have written a song like " Fei Ji Chang de 10.30 "... I wondered.. how does David Tao had felt @ that time ...
I've seen the MTV a million times and the mood was there... showed a couple in their happier times.. and towards the ending.. the lady walked in one direction.. with a piece of chalk drawing a straight line across the wall.. while the man.. walked in her direction.. with a white chalk.. also.. drawing a line across the wall..
and although they're both walking in the same path... but.. the lines they drew.. ( the parallel lines or rather... parallel lives... ) would never ever be attached to one another... Maybe that's just a beautiful illustration of ... " You Yuan Wu Fen " ... - Not Fated. some things.. are not just meant to be...
and surrendering to fate.. isn't as simply as ABCs ... and if was as simple as that.. I won't be in the shitty state I'm in now. .. and as discussed earlier on with Tann... a lady's mind.. are far more complicated than men's...
It seems that.. understanding them.. could be almost... impossible .. or it's just " it isn't easy.. but It wasn't meant to be hard "... but to understand what's going on in her mind... ... ... it seems to be like an experiment of stealing the bird's wing and attach them onto the pigs... sounds illogical.. but.. it might just happen one day ..
and just today.. I was a little frustrated with her.. and I just don't know what had went wrong... totally clue-less... and the first thing on my mind was getting anesthetized ... just.. the next best thing ...
" Maybe baby baby oh baby baby oh baby ... Is it that.. When we start to possess ( our Love )... and we're going to start losing them soon ? ... The more I wanted to give you ( Love ) .. The more you wanted to hide... Even true Love.. couldn't answer all the questions and all the doubt... " " Fei Ji Chang de 10.30 ". . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
30th January 2004
Yesterday did my last guard duty of the month.. *gee*.. I wish I could say my last duty of my National Service.. oh.. It rained the whole afternoon and luckily the rain stopped when my shift started..
And I knew that my duty would be extraordinary .. * heh * .. was super busy entertaining units all over Singapore and many other dudes stayed back as well.. and Brok - ko lost it again .. came as no surprise ...
and how funny his comments were when Spiderman, Brok - ko and Col. Quek and myself was discussing the arrangements and the plans with OC. He's just making un constructive suggestions... sigh.. " B.B.S.B " ... * huh * ?? ... = Big Body Small Brain ...
and I wouldn't even survive my first shift w/o YingLin.. * gee * RPs are the King of Sentry ... and the units came rushing ( like a typical ORCs rushing scene of L.O.T.R. ) ... and those units were always scolding us..
till OC came to " defend " us... In the army ... rank shouts... silently... anyway.. during my second shift.. had a mini discussion with OC.. it's just some shit issues that I couldn't stomach it.. so ah .....
Morning was bad.. had to rush back home despite 2 person 'd ( in my dept ) reported sick in the morning.. I couldn't stay to help the lads.. as I had to meet LiZhi And Jeff.. LiZhi was here for a day's stopover to NanJing.. and Jeff had specially traveled back to Singapore from Johore. It's a rare meeting for all of us....
Had our lunch @ the Japanese restaurant @ CityLink ( the waitress was Fucked Up ... lousy service ! ) ... and later on.. sat @ the Coffee Express @ Wisma...
and that cafe was just footsteps away from my dear Shinji Matsuo salon.. quite tempted to go.. moreover I was in a pretty upset and foul mood.. so a haircut might do me good.. and and and... my cock hair was out of shape already... but.. I've decided to cut my hair the week after next ...
Asked a lot about studying in Australia from LiZhi.. kind of got myself prepared a little bit there...
and our next meeting.. should be around ah .... November 2004 ?.. by that time.... * hee hee hee * ... and by 01.30 tomorrow.. LiZhi would be on a plane home ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
27th January 2004
I was Jenson's V-Com early on and... he's taking the detail one guards over to the sentry... Tanner and GPMG.. and mid way into the journey... GPMG was firing his unlimited rounds... which really... sort of irritated me a little... and.. yeah.. certainly hope that Tanner would enjoy his day with the GPMG ... * Muahahhaaa * ..
Got this from Kel's mail ..
" Ya... Oh Shit ! " . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
26th January 2004
I hate raining days... Only when I'm performing my guard duties... When It rains.. Mosquitoes will come... temperature will drop... so does my morale... and yesterday... I killed like.. twenty something mosquitoes within .. err... 4 hours... and I dare not close my eyes to snatch a rest... and I kept my eyes on the " Master Q " comic.. and feast my eyes on the absolutely beautiful Step Song.. both publications are borrowed from Eric...
and... CNY was a very much ordinary affair for me... nothing special... My soul's still feeling empty.. except for the paranoid-ness of unable to finish the work @ PL... and that.. really freaked me out a little... I've been slacking for far too long... too long ...
oh.. When you're free... check out this page www.windnwater88.com and on the left.. there's this KUA calculator for this Ba Zhai Feng Shui Reading.. It tell you the direction that I should be facing.. and some general tips... ( Atten - Charles ) and the Favorable Colours they calculated for me was.. pretty accurate.. as those were my favourate colours ... * Gee * ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
24th January 2004
Yester night was a little tough.. kept on having.. not really nightmares... but.. kept on having dreams.. bad ones.. I think my dreams are kind of related to her.. I'm not too sure.. some things are just hard to let go.. especially recurring dreams.. not as easy as one think ... and when I put on my black " Twenty - Five " T-shirt when I'm off to work today.. smelled my shirt for a while.. and.. the smell .. kind of reminds me of her again ... ( yes.. haven't washed my shirt for errr.... 2 weeks? - Last time I've met her.. ) * Muhahahhaaa * ... well... male species.... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
22nd January 2004
Yeah ! ... Chinese New Year ! ... Wonder what's in store for me ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
21st January 2004
SHITS....
well.. kidding there...
Ok.. re write.. Life's just like the 3 stuffs above... One hot.. one sour .. one bla bla bla.. and.. I don't know which one to take.. as simple as that .. muahhahaha... * thanx Evon , Chris ... *
And.. I sometimes.. just couldn't really figure which choice I should be making.. and I blame it on my horoscope... Libra. I believe... Librans are famous for their indecisiveness.. and.. I am a terrible victim of it.. and I wish I could just make a decision and get on with life... but... easier said than done... Oh well...
Chinese New Year's Eve... Gonna sleep late.. " Shou Shui " tonight.. Really hope that the coming year would be better.. My " chapter " back to normal W/ problems resolved.. . Finances for studies... No more shits @ PL.
" Happy Chinese New Year " . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
19th January 2004
Went down to orchard to get my Project Shop bag with Mah and some other stuffs... Talked crap a lot.. mostly about the tension between Chee Xiang, Jeremy and himself.. and.. I was thinking about it.. It already very hard.. just to find that special someone with the common attitude.. common dreams.. and a common perspective of life and how things should be done..
Pretty tough isn't it?... let alone finding another 4-5 such identical persons to play in a band.. It\s very hard maintain a rock band.. each and each with different commitments.. it's very hard.. and wondered how bands in the states did just that ... the only reason I could think of is... they're pretty rich.. just get themselves a house by the sea and stay together.. get their girlfriends to stay in... a completely Full Time Job.. and TA TA... and look at us?
Jeremy, always with his girlfriend.. Chee Xiang, Always thinking about the extremes and spending time with girlfriend.. and ME?.. always not available to jam... I'm just the passive part time player there.. if I were to jam in the near future.. I also don't know what songs to play.. hmmm... a bit guilty... and the stupid drum set ,.. I also did not fork out a single cent.. heh...
and the only good thing that happened to me in the wake of all those shitty shits ... is coincidently meeting Isabella. Mah and I was walking @ the second level of Ngee Anm city.. and I seldom go the the second floor.. We're like walking in one direction and mail was pretty empty @ that time..
So.. wasn't really hard to miss each other.. and gee.. she looked so mature with her office clothes... and me?.. some stupid kid with a stupid t shirt hanging around the shopping complex looking for food.. had a minute's worth of catching up and promised to meet up in the near future.. Mah's shocked that Isabella's 1 year my junior.. so ah~....
Gee.. I've been talking so much today... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
19th January 2004
Just that day...16th Jan. Mah and I took the train back home.. and We're @ City Hall Station.. We walked past this young lady.. It seems that she's just went shopping after her work. Think she's about 25 plus ?. I accidentally overheard.. " please don't do this to me " . and I instinctively knew that... something's wrong with her relationship .. and tears rolled down ....
While the both of us were standing @ the middle of the train cabin, I noticed that she's sitting down there... the corner seat.. trying her best to hide her tears but it's her red and teary eyes gave her away..
It kind of started me thinking... poor girl she was.. and the same thing.. almost happened to me last Sunday.. and just how many millions of hearts are broken everyday?... and maybe right now... someone's hearts is already shattered... so.. " why start when you know it's going to end "... is in fact ... a stupid question... and one sentence I believe is.. " Love is blind "... there's no reason for anything... and in the end.. we ended up hurt. Despite all the stupid outcome it all might end... we would still give it our best shot... just why ? ...
so.. What's is Love? . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
18th January 2004
Beautiful hor ?... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
16th January 2004
1/2 day work. Last Minute Arrow. Damn.. left camp without me. Took my lunch. Took Tanner's dad's ride out. Cab. Home. Rest. Slept. Train. Bugis. Walk. Fag. Talk. Walked. Melvin. Walked. Arab Street. Ate. Mutabak. Full. Tired. Walked. Cross Road. See Sha Cafe. Smoked. Drank. Smoke. Drank. Gossiped. Laughed. Talked. Day dream. Tired. Smoked. Laugh. 2IC. Motorbike. Laugh. Smoked. Gossiped. " ha ha ". Photographs. Hesitating. Confusion. Tired. Taxi - Less. Walked. Walked. Tired. Ran. Bus-stop. Sat. Seats. Alighted. Fast Walk. Walk. Endless Walking. Crossed road. Reached. Walked up the stairs. Shouts. Smoky Room. Songs. TV. Egg White. Smoked. Songs. Red Eyes. SMS. French Fries. Ate. Drank. " Bye Bye.. Happy Birthday ! " . Walked down the stairs. Tired. " Lu Lu " sat. Next to road. Taxi - Less. Decided. Took Bus. Tired. FAKE?. Alighted. Stopped. Cab. Home. Walked. Photograph. Stars. Elevator. Bath. Good Night.
A Happy Man. Full Of Drinks.
Cute Cat.
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
15th January 2004
Stuck in that certain frame of time.. as her smoke slowly dances across the thin air above me. Shivering in the cold as endless emotions overwhelmed me.. and I realized that... this might just be the end. In fact.. the end had came too late.. too late ... warm tears carefully rolled down my cheeks whenever I tried to swallow my grey past down my throat...
I played down on optimism when the slightest ray of light shone through the holes in the walls of hope.. I should have known better.. Things are just... not meant to be.. I've broken my heart shaped box once too many till there's no room for any more cracks.. just another dose of heartache ... I wish... I wished ... I wished for...
I've still got the blues... so long.. for so long.. When would I ever find peace within my soul...Still running away from the distorted truth.. ... Insecurity.. she never fail to find a friend in me as she accompanied me through all those lonely nights without you by my side... it just seems to be endless...
As I lay in the arms of the deepest night... I could almost feel you once again.. but It seems that.. everything surrounding me seems to be so bleak.. I'm so scared... I had to lie to myself all over again.. just .. to make me .. feel better... Maybe.. it's just time to say good bye...
I had to chose the path full of uncertainties.. hoping to find another me in left in me ... The image of hope hanging loosely by the spider's web started to appear.. almost vivid.. almost un-real.. Maybe.. it's just the illusions making fun of me... or maybe.. I'm just lying to myself again.. until the truth finally dawn...
I'm all broken into pieces... stab right into my heart and free my misery for once... losing my sanity to the beautiful darkness... drenched in my very own salty tears... will you still love me days before ... I had to live with the ghost our our buried love...
and It would be so so wonderful for me to runaway for my dreams ... but.. without you... I'm nothing .. Just why can't you be me just for a minute and you'll know that ... I've never wanted the stars.. and all I've wanted is ....
I guessed... nothing would be able to repair my jaded faith .. It all seems to be a joke too hard for me to take.. I cry silently all alone.. whispering all my secret prayers to the angels above... maybe hoping for an answer or two... It's just the way... Just the way we are... queer . ... For a day.. just hold my hand and take me to the world of dreams...
...and dear life... show me what I could have experienced... and maybe tomorrow... we'll find our way back home ... but now... I feel like a bug.. No time machine could ever bring me close to your heart... I'm twisted.. I'm broken... any Sunday morning aren't gonna make me feel better... not any better...
Please sing me lullaby like you used to sing me... Whisper all the fantasies that you've been hiding from the view of the world.. and for a while.. I thought that love might be a burden too heavy for me.. fighting against all those lukewarm responds from you... I might be right... I had to lose... you again ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
14th January 2004
"
Say you'll be my own
Shining out and
make me break apart . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
11th January 2004
Falling asleep seems to be an uphill task.. drenched by my very own tears.. soon.. all my hopes will fade together with the dusk .. sometimes... I just felt that it's all an illusion.. " This thing called love can't be trusted. " ... you've left me.. high and dry yet again ..
I wanted to lost in my dreams.. just to escape from reality for a while.. but I can't.. I wish I could fall into the eternal sleep ... and I could never worry about a thing again...
" This thing called love can't be trusted. " ... " This thing called love can't be trusted. " ..." This thing called love can't be trusted. " ..." This thing called love can't be trusted. " ..." This thing called love can't be trusted. " ..." This thing called love can't be trusted. " ..." This thing called love can't be trusted. " .." This thing called love can't be trusted. " ..." This thing called love can't be trusted. " ...... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
8th January 2004
and... Good Boy ... might just be the worst films I've ever seen.. What's it about? .. okay.. There's this alien dog.. yes.. alien dog .. he's sent to earth on a mission... that's to see how earth dogs are being treated and had to report them to the queen of planet dogs... so... the rest... you could just imagine... after all... * heh *.. It makes me wonder how many stars would those people @ 8 Days would give for the show?.. 2 / 5 stars?... for me?... I'll give -1 / 5 stars.. they owned me a star ... but.. if you're a dog lover... it should be a 3 stars for you ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
7th January 2004
Received a heart warming call form Li Zhi who is in Brisbane right now... life's not too good for him too.. he told me the big jump from Polytechnic to University ... sigh.. and was pretty much a " culture shock " for him ... really glad that I'll be able to see him soon for his stop-over in Singapore...
and my Shinji Matsuo hair was officially gone...
anyway.. Yaohui came and used my comp for a while before that chap gave up and we went down to do lung exercise instead.. and we started to instruct each other what to do.. upon our deaths.. who to call.. what music to play ... bla bla bla... imminent .. Sometimes.. I just couldn't help it but to think that death might just be the best option to free my misery ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
6th January 2004
My days in camp are not getting anywhere better.. with pals like Doremon and Mah ORD-ing.. My respected Sgt Roberts ending his tour of duty.. and TSM leaving soon too and I'll be even more insecure when TSM leaves.. ... plus.. a mad man in camp.. life's definitely not anywhere good.... I hate changes.. especially.. into Uncertainties ... into the dark ...
Did my Sentry Duty with Mr. Eric.. he's one cool dude... When I was sleeping at the guard rest room this morning.. and Meow told me.. " Eh.. long time never see you duty rest liaoz.. "... and.. ya.. it's about time I take a decent break from work ...
Actually I should be meeting up with her now.. but.. she's had a bad bad sore throat.. and changed it to tomorrow...which is not a bad thing after all... When I reached home.. did my usual stuffs... played guitar... and then... " Ring ring... "..
No.. Not the L.O.T. Ring.. it's my hand phone.. and she's sitting in the middle of the fence on whether if she should meet me after her work.. but firstly.. since I've already bathed and settled down to enjoy my evening and secondly.. she's feeling sick.. and politely suggested that we should go only tomorrow...
and now.. I'm enjoying my time all alone.. ( my parents are out ).. so.. my speakers are blasting FAKE? 's Everglow ! .. real LOUD ! .. * Yeah * ...
And Yes ! .. I think I had the Shinji Matsuo haircut jinx.. whenever I go for my cut.. and two - three weeks later... Kanna caught... makes no sense @ all.. but.. I still love my hair cut.. * muahahha * .. today just pure unlucky that I met into him... sigh... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
4th January 2004
Yesterday.. Mah and Chee Xiang accompanied me to the guitar shop @ Peninsula Malaysia shopping complex... I've hated the shop owner from the very first time I entered the shop.. a very.. Fucked up owner.. he just thought that he's the King.. but whatever...
And finally.. my dream set up is finally completed.. Gibby Les Paul W/ Seymour Duncan Alnico pro 2 pickups - Jim Dunlop 95q Wah Pedal - Marshall Drive Master Pedal - and lastly.. my latest gear.. the 15 Watts Marshall Amp. and.. this dream set up took me... 8 years ? ... and this little 15 Watts 's sound.. totally blew me away ! ...
And here I predict.. that this week won't be a smooth flowing one.. although I do not foresee addition " arrows " but my own Documentation side is in a total mess... I'm just too occupied with doping those additional arrows and... left with no time to do mine... Doomed....
and.. my expenses had shot up this month.. starting with my all time high Taxi fare of $39.10 ( something which I still can't stomach ).. and my Amp @ $199.. and cab fare at $13.. cab fare from camp to my house today $3 ... and.. those hide stuffs EvOn bought for me... hide Museum poster... Mini guitar model.. and.. the last live DVD... and if only I had additional funds... I would had bought that FAKE? 's CD ... it's cheap !
All I hope for... is for the coming week to be as fast as lightning... so that I could enjoy my precious weekend again.. and have to get past 2 guard duties again... so meaningless... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
2nd January 2004
Long Way To Go ... ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
31/1st
Dec/Jan
2003/4
31st Dec ... New Year's Eve.. Well.. actually I could had gone for work today... cause .. hmmm... I thought that.. I'm wasting my 1/2 day's OFF for this morning.. cause.. I've did nothing actually.. slept till 11am.. downloaded MORE songs... Played my one and only X-Box game.. read the papers... and downloaded more... songs... and waited for Kelly's call...
And today.. I've downloaded more FAKE? 's song.. and I thought that... they rocks ! ... especially on their someday PV. and oh my... Inoran's still looking so cool... He's the Japanese Version of Izzy Stradlin' of Gn'R... same attitude.. same... class ...
It's like.. If.. there's a day when the sky came falling upon them.. and.. They.. still won't give the slightest damn... and... I thought that's really cool ... real cool ..
FAKE? - Inoran and Ken Lloyd
My precious time was elegantly wasted till around.. hmm... 5? and I took the train down to Toa Payoh.. I don't know why.. walking along the streets of Toa Payoh.. saddens me.. It's just full of memories there.. and It's been a year since I've been there...
Kelly ordered some kind of Icy thingy... Mango flavored.. and it tastes pretty good... $2.80 per bowl.. and actually while the lady was preparing for this thing... I was only expecting a cup.. and when she place the bowl @ the counter.. I was a ... little shocked.. *heh*
" Yellow Man Beside The Yellow Tiles "
Later on.. we went over to City Hall.. just to do some shopping cause she said that she would like to get some new clothes.. and went to Suntec... and I was actually quite shock.. not to find any hide / X-Japan CDs... inside Tower Records.. how can that be ! ... but @ least .. I've found Inoran's and Sugizo's CD... but.. how can they miss out hide's CD ?...
we did not really stayed @ Suntec for long cause we had to rush to East Coast... Kelly's company had a small chalet over.. well .. felt a little awkward.. cause.. 1) I don't know anyone of them 2) we were late and they had already finished eating.. 3) I felt like a small kid over there.. cause most of them are working adults... and me? .. just some late comer who's Very Hungry and started... BBQ-ing...
Lucky shot of the kids throwing those sparkling sticks into the sea..
Oh man.. they were a wild bunch !.. kept blowing the whistle and what so ever stuffs... so loud.. that I almost went deaf... and I spend the very first minute of 2004 biting on my 3/4 done beef steak ... and.. * Smile * ... " Happy New Year to you too ! " ... but I'm totally grateful for her manager's hospitality.. she's a really nice person ... and she asked Kelly .. " Your Boyfriend ah ? " ....
Towards the end... as they're playing ..well.. not exactly playing lah.. just everyone take turns to say their N.Y wishes and thoughts.. and.. it's totally eerr.... boring... and I said.. " I wish everyone to be happy ... " and that's .. ... .... ..
And in a moment of pure stupidity... I suggested to Play " Zhong Ji Mee Mah.. ".. and I thought the punishment was only drinking liquor... but.. someone suggest something like.. kissing on someone's cheek... and.. I smell a conspiracy... but.. lucky... I .. did not kanna.. and after they played 2 - 3 rounds.. we had to leave... * the great escape * .. one of the punishment I saw was... to dance on the chair for 5 seconds.. and Hell.. No way I'm going to do that in front of a crowd...
and we took an endless stroll along East Coast and...walked some distance before reaching the main road.. sat down for a while and took a cab to her place.. and back to mine...
East Coast area - Tampines - Jurong West ... totally cost + midnight charge ... $39.10 .. I could have brought myself 2 CDS ... well ... well ..... Well. ... ... .. . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
31st December 2003
Curtain Call Oh man ! .. how time files.. and just to contradict myself a little bit.. and.. here's another Flashback from a copy of 8 Days Magazine.. again...
Come this time of the year, a common refrain you'll hear us, " Ahhh.. how time files... " Well, Whoever said that is an idiot. Birds fly, Superman flies. Some white guy's pretty fly. But Time - like pigs - does not fly. Time is Time. It's here all the time. It's not going anywhere.. " ...
Fragments Of My Past so.. what does that imply.. I'm a 50% idiot.. anyway... this has been a pretty bad year.. There's the sinking our our Navy Ship, Sars, Another war against Iraq, endless jinx @ work, Maids being abused, fellow citizens arguing about if that milk powder increases their kid's IQ, increasing employment, endless terrorism threats, my Mum's fallen sick... ..
Into a Car crash, ... I've been looking back @ my past year's entries for a while and then.. stopped .. maybe some things are just too painful for me to recall.. in a nutshell.. It's been a rollercoaster ride this year... so & so... what's good in store for me next year ?...
Simple... my ORD ! and that's when I'll be a free man once again.. Oh ya right... that'll be when I've seen all of my friends ORD... before I do.. *heh* .. so ah.. Long way still ..
This year, 2003, I went on my first trip with my friends.. 8 of them ! .. actually.. the first trip I went without a family member was to Bangkok with Yaohui...one year ago.. * Hee * .. suffered during those endless guard duties with various personals.. had my first ever expensive haircut.. bought a brand new specs * specs * ... hee hee...
Having to assemble @ the parade square with those thermometer sticking out of our mouths... re-united with Chee Xiang for those jamming sessions... catching the movie " city of god " with Shiyun.. A new Handphone from Dad.. Bid farewell to LiZhi who's since left for Australia for his studies.. Being posted into another department... bought my first digital camera.. and some stuffs that I would never want to remember again...
Blue Skies Ahead? ( Not Really ) So.. what's my new year's resolution ?... well .. hope I'm not too greedy.. just the 7 wishes above... yeah... I'll be a happy man ... and well.. thinking back.. I've realized that.. I've spend a lot of money this year.. hmmm.. not something good actually... I should be saving up for my studies... sigh.. well.. there's always next year ... I guess ...
so.. how long must all this shits continue.. I'm already sick of getting disillusioned... I'm starting .. no.. correction.. I should be saying " I'm hating the Army since Day one " .. and...
it seems that there's nothing else left to be complained about.. it's simply meaning-less now... Oh Well.... life goes on... with or without serving National Service.. so .. I shall just resign to the hands of reality... Suffer In Silence... I still remember what Warrent Seah told us.. ." In the Army... No one can make you happy.. " .. how true that is... ..
Silent Prayers Next year.. I planned to sell my soul to Rock And Roll.. Indulge in Music.. and hopefully.. I'm able to play in next year's Yamaha Band Alert junk with Chee Xiangz , Jerm and Mah.. and they're going to ORD soon.. and would have more time experimenting different music arrangements.. and me.. would have to force myself " to feel contented to listen to my music on my way to work everyday " ... sounds sad?... you bet ...
and next year.. I hope I'll be able to settle my finances for my studies as well.. and I'm.. actually prepared to stay in Singapore and be a slave to the wage if.. I say IF.. my finances couldn't make it.. sounds sad?...
you bet... so.. it's really make it or break it.. simple... and I .. don't really believing leaving for Australia @ an ripe old age of 29 1/4 to study after saving those tuition fees.. I'll be too old when I come back to Singapore.. .. and till then.. Pigs might be able to fly loh... Let me think.. So.. what's in for me next year... my ORD date.. Ok ok.. I'm stopping it... Ok.. Japan Trip.. I'm keeping my fingers... and Toes ! crossed that Sis would be making a trip to Japan again.. and I could just tag along.. and the estimated month for that wish to happen ? ... April - May.. that's when the flowers bloom... and so many hide fans out there would be wishing that they're able to visit hide Museum... hee hee... all the best ! Stolen Colours I think.. I've.. like.. lost the colours in my life.. couldn't really help it.. WAIT... it's a new year ahead.. I must be feeling very happy... Yes.. I'm brainwashing myself now... yes.. Mr. LZP is freaking happy now.. just like the way Gollum dances at the edge after biting Frodo's Finger.. * Yeah *.. * yeah *... and that's going to be my last lie I've told for this year... 2003 ... And maybe I'll let you know when I've made my first lie for 2004 ... Peace Feeling Numb Won't it be absolutely wonderful to be numb.. indifference to the surroundings.. You won't even feel the joy... the sorrow.. everything.. and yes.. pain.. disappointment.. all.. would be gone... all gone ...
BUT WAIT... it's a new year ahead.. I must be feeling very happy... Yes.. I'm brainwashing myself again now... yes.. Mr. LZP is freaking happy now.. * my preciouszzzzzzzzz *... * Waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! *... One % more one percent more... Goods and Service tax.. one percent.. and I was getting myself an Guitar amp.. well.. next year.. hmm... actually.. a few days away.. and it'll cost me another one percent... maybe I'm influenced by Kelly.. cause she's getting her contact lenses before the year ends..
and I actually kind of persuaded her to get them next year because of some reasons... and now.. I'm thinking.. about my amp.. so... one percent of a 150 ++ = $1.50 ? ... so.. is 5% considered to be a lot ... or it's just a small percentage.. ? hmmm.... well.. let's consider.. one percent... is also money... so ah ... ... ..
Akan Datang ( Coming soon ) So ah.. New Year Day.. once again.. What would you be doing later?.. once again in the arms of your loved ones.. or just prefer a chat and coffee session with your close buddies?.. party for the whole night @ the Centro party?... Performing guard duty ? ... Chill out and get high ?... or.. stuck in front of your monitor.. surfing around... whatever may be... Merry New Year to anyone reading all my junk... so.. what would I be doing later ?.... .... * Wwwhhheeeeeee * .. make a guess... .... .... ...... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
29th December 2003
Suddenly... I realized that my Mojo for guitar playing is... suddenly back again... I haven't been touching Izabella ( the beauty below ) .. for around.. 1 month plus ?... and gee... I think it's really because my guitar amp's screwed up now.. gotta get a new one ! ....
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
28th December 2003
Hmm.. tomorrow would be ... the last week of this year and the first week of next.. woke up super late this morning.. and.. played games and downloaded songs.. It's been so wonderful having an faster Internet connection ( my StarHub / SCV ) .. and better still .. a brand new X- Box that comes with the promotion.. and *wowoooo *... that's life...
A faster Internet connection means that I would be able to sample songs that I would have never want to buy their CDs.. band like.. Velvet Underground, The Strokes.. Primal Scream... bla bla bla.. and more sings from Inoran and Sugizo.. and more Placebo's vidz !.. and *wowoooo *... that's life...
Now.. I just hope that my X Box would be " modified " to play those cheaper game titles.. so that I could play the LOTR - R.O.T.K game..
Just yesterday night.. Kelly rang me up and told me that her specs was .. Still over @ Nanyang .. and.. I've decided to ring the shop up.. and I ask ... " did anyone there seen my friends' brown coloured rectangle specs?.. "... and she replied yes.. and I said.. " Can you pass that pair of specs over to CaiYing.. If she's still working there... "...
"..Ya she's still working there and ... I'm CaiYing... " she replied.. .... * ahahaa *... and I broke into laughter.. she must be puzzled..
That day @ work.. MSG George walked into DCC and asked.. " whose cars are that? ".. and I do not have the slightest clue... and he was definitely not pleased with my answer obviously.. and he said.. " don't know.. don't know.. I think one day if the aliens come.. you all also don't know... ".. how right he was..
There's one hiding in his department and.. he's still in the dark..
And yes.. you were right.. Ken was also featured in the Movie poster... see him?.. Yes?.. no?... just look closer...
See.... * heh *... wondered how much he got for that copyright thingy ... He's.. EVERYWHERE ! .... aarrggg .... !
Hey.. look what I've found ! ... That's a shot taken from Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill Volume 2.. and that's someone by the name of Gordon Liu ... some kong fu star?... can't wait for Volume 2 ! ... and next week should be pretty enjoyable for me.. * woohhhhooo..... * ... ! . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
27th December 2003
and and And.. I still have not recovered from the " hang-over " from X'Mas eve's partying and yesterday's guard duty.. and I.. am indeed.. totally exhausted.. My eyes are feeling sore.. and tired legs.. and.. I actually took cab home from my camp.. and my sentry partner also " cannot take it " already.. * muhahhaa * .. so .. we just shared cab home..
So..I reached home around 10 plus. Met Kelly @ JP. 1.30.. and when we reached there for lunch.. we had to walk past Nanyang Optics.. and Kelly was stopped by the contact lens promoter.. and listen to the lady promoting the contact lens.. and.. just in case you're wondering.. it's not CaiYing.. and I've got a feeling she's no longer working @ that outlet any more.. cause I've seen more new faces..
Shopped around.. well actually.. there's nothing much at JP. hee hee.. bought her drink and her Spring Roll... and.. actually we planned to catch a show @ town area.. but.. those title playing isn't that... interesting... so we headed home instead...
This was what she did to my Lego Figure which was originally just sitting on top of my guitar Amp. So we just downloaded a few songs or... actually a lot.. some 40 odd songs ?!.. and then chilled out a bit.. talked about some stuffs... and... and .....
Yes.. and that's Kelly's unfinished Spring Roll.. hahaha.. actually.. wanted to send her back till JP.. but.. I had that migraine attack again... sigh ... so.. she insist that the furthest I could go.. is the bus stop downstairs.. so.. my day had pretty much ended.. not a bad day in fact.. just that I'm too tired.... ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
25th December 2003
Yes.. It's finally X'mas again.. and.. Yes Yes.. one more year and my Army stint would be over.. * yeah... * .... just woke up.. well not really.. Slept and woke up.. and slept just now..
Yesterday.. Scheduled to meet the boys @ 6pm.. and I met Mr. Charles @ 5.30 Jurong East. I left home pretty late.. anticipating that.. Mr. Charles.. would also be late.. ( he's really late.. ) ... When I reached JP, - as my transit - Link Card is with SP Lim- I had to get myself a Single Trip Ticket .. and what.. I gave up after 2 attempts.. and I felt stupid.. so ... had to spend $6 plus to take a cab to J.E. ...
The Freaking tix Machine
Figuring how to buy that ticket with Charles.. and we moved on.. and.. Saw Ka Wai Ge ! ... * Muhahaha * .. he's also late ah ... So.. We.. the trio late comers reached Town @ 6.45.. Dining @ Hans was something - Ordinary... so.. I suggest.. yes.. suggest... that we should dine @ N.Y.D.C ... and the sissy waiter was pretty pissed at us.. cause we wanted to sit together ( 7 of us ).. and ... hmm... anyway.. we " surrendered " and hunt for food else where.. It's not as easy as it sounds.. There were people everywhere.. sickening !
So.. the jinx gang ended up @ the Japanese Restaurant.. So.. Mah and I got our silent wish granted.. we got to eat .. Japaness Curry rice.. It was my first time drinking Sake too.. it's... not too good actually... * hee hee * .
I've tried the Japanese Curry rice with Shiyun before and thought wasn't that up to standard.. so.. I prepared myself for the.. worse... but.. when the food came.. Took a little .. and ... WOWOW.. it's tasty.. hmmm... maybe ... ( when you're hungry... the worst food would be super tasty... )
Marcus later joined us. loitered around for a few minutes and we.. already at Orchard Train station.. or rather.. within a few steps.. chose to walk down one stop.. the Sommerset Station.. and.. I question his logic.. cause.. there's really.. a sea of crowd..
Walking to the next station.. was practically a.. torture.. so.. we ended being " pushed " to our destination.. Took a train down to City Hall.. and collected our ticket for the show.. " The Lord Of The Ring - Return Of the King ".. Great... Finally.. It's going to be over.. The Ring can finally be destroyed .. so.. I've been waited 3 years.. Our show time was 23.40.. so.. the Show started exactly @ 12 midnight.. and some twits shouted in the theater... " Merry Christmas ! "... Class A twit ..
So.. " Merry Christmas.. The War is over.. ".. The war is finally ending tonight .. Yeah ! It.. was.. really really a very good show !.. loved every minute of it !
And and ... Marcus was.. Still around after the show.. ( he did not join us - he'd caught the R.O.T.K before.. ).. took the cab down to Lau Pa Sat.. ate a little.. Chicken Rice and Satay..
and.. walked down to the water sculpture area underneath Capital Tower.. Finally found peace as there's no one there except a security guard who chatted with us... talked about shits.. and.. it's about him.. again.. the talk of PLAD.. as always..
It was there.. when I finally got a chance to discover the " shutter Speed " on my camera.. a year after I've bought my camera.. * muahahah * .. I'm pleased of my camera's new found capability.. Sitting under the giant skyscrapers.. ( well.. not exactly tall to be called a skyscraper anyway... ).. was.. just like hobbits.. under those giant mutant-ed elephants.. Ops.. The R.O.T.K syndrome..
" Let it snow.. Let it snow... Let it snow.. ."
Oh.. It's snowing outside... Okay.. it's raining.. hmm... Guard Duty again.. tomorrow.. sigh... I'm so tired ! tomorrow.. . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
24th December 2003
11.33 Am
Had a very very good sleep yesterday.. cause the headache pills made me sleepy a little... and .. Welcome to 2003 X Mas eve !.. Normally.. When I've woke up, I would have erased all my dreams naturally...
but today.. or rather just now.. I've dreamt of Aries.. It was so vivid and ... so freaking real. I could almost feel her touch. She came to my house.. gave me something and spoke a little.. but.. I fell asleep when she left.. and couldn't manage to get her contacts.. Take care Aries.. May the best of all the things come your way ...
Meeting the dudes later.. watching the R.O.T.K later.. I hope to chill out @ Centro 360.. but.. I think they're not into the idea... sigh.. I wanted to dine @ N.Y.D.C .. and... they're not.. into the idea also.. hmmm... but first.. would be meeting Vincent later @ 2 .. going to JP for his Bday ...
Anyway.. had Some choco cake from McCafe... and saw CaiYing while walking past... and just gave her a smile... oh.. The choco cake was not that bad.. but for the latte.. hmmm... not very good lah ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
22nd December 2003
Oh my god.. I'm going to work tomorrow !.. felt so so good after that long break.. and tomorrow.. It's all going back to square one ... again.. but but but.. it's ok.. let's see... 23 - back to work.. 24 - Xmas eve.. so.. would be taking 1/2 day... and and.. 26.. guard duty ! ... aaarrrggg !
Woke up late morning.. and Colonel Quek messaged me.. " I'm discharging today.. " .. and.. wow... that was close... I almost made an fruit-less trip to the NUH ... so.. I stayed @ home playing games.. and updating my hide Museum Web page...
Late afternoon.. went to JP with Yaohui.. Almost bought another red loop.. heh.. but I think it's only a matter of time ... cause I really liked that.. I've forgotten to get Kelly's Xmas gift.. sigh... Walked past the new McCafe.. hmm... I did not even notice it.. it seems like another Delifrance.. .. CaiYing was not there today... I think we both De-synchronize to each other.. * muahahah *. ... I bought the Kill Bill Soundtrack and David Tao's live... I tell you.. The soundtrack ROCKS !
Later on.. Yaohui went to pick up his cousin.. He's only 4 - 5 years old.. I think he's so pitiful .. staying at the childcare centre.. When I walked in the Child Care center.. There's so many other young toddlers.. So of them smile @ me and maybe thought I was here to play with them.. * wowow *.. so Cute ! ..
* ZzzZzzZzzzzzzz *
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
21st December 2003
" huh ?... What King Khan? "... You might ask.. well.. Please allow me to explain.. Mr. Shah Rukh Khan... our Bollywood god which recently appeared in our copy of 8 days, ladies and gentlemen...and do..
also allow me do a flash back ... this's something extracted from a copy of 8 days weeks ago ( City Guide section ) it says.. " Shah Rukh Khan Live in Singapore! Be bowled over by the Bollywood extravaganza, Featuring Shah Rukh Khan and other well known celebrities such as Rani Mukerjee, Saif Ali Lhan and Priyanka Chopra ( Miss World ) ... Tix : $ 31 - $ 501. "
ohhh ... let me know if you knew any one of the well known celebrities mentioned above and who's Priyanka Chopra ( Miss World ).. miss world?... year 1946?? ... anyway....
First of all.. my two cents worth of thoughts... I feel that that Bollywood chap must have cast a spell on the organizers. Why?.. look at the ticket price.. $ 501 dollars?...
I would rather get myself a " Rolling Stones " ticket rather than to see some Indian chap dancing around like a monkey like no tomorrow... or.. maybe that's a pretty unfair statement.. I am no Indian.. I'm not into Bollywood !.. I am not into clowns that like to chase one another around the trunks of the tress...
Or Maybe .. Indian exports nowadays are ..doing much better than those in the states.. Look at Duran Duran.. Which I felt that They ( Duran Duran ) certainly had much credibility over that Indian chap.. and the ticket price for the Duran Duran concert is like $ 70 - $151.. $151 and $ 501 ... $151 for Legends... way back from the early 80's... as compared to $ 501 for a clown...
My mum told me that she read in the papers that those Indian nationals workers working in Singapore had threw in all their monthly pay.,. just to catch that clown in action... so.. Mr. Shah Rukh Khan also cast spells on those poor workers?... Or Mr.Shah Rukh Khan remind them of their father back in India?
And If ... You're a fan of Mr. Shah Rukh Khan... Get a life.. I did not mean to be rude or disrespectful there.. but.. after reading that article in the recent issue of 8 days.. certainly makes me want to lose all respect of that Bollywood chap.
Mr.Shah Rukh Khan claims that he wore Tag Heuer watches.. ok. after reading it.. I suspect if Mr. Shah Rukh Khan had bought over the stall of that pasa malam imitation watch stall.. but.. after some thoughts... I think.. no..
I'm sure I'm absolutely WRONG ! ... I am talking about some Bollywood legend.. a " world famous " legend .. who command up to $501 a ticket for his clown tricks ! .. and further more... the 8 days article also reported that he went for that " face to face " interview in that Ngee Ann City Tag heuer boutique.. ( he 's the spokesman for that brand ).. and so... his watch isn't from any stupid imitation pasa malam stall after all...
So now.. I'm sure consumers all over had lost it faith in Tag Heuer.. fancy getting some international well known Bollywood stars to be a spokesman for their label.. where's Tiger Woods?.. Or some famous Formula 1 drivers?.. all quitted Tag Heuer as a spokesman in disbelieved that they'd appointed someone of that calibre ? ...
Next.. I carried on reading the arrogant Bollywood star's interview.. and.. I felt like giving him one tight slap !
8 Days : What do you think of people calling you one of Asia's top 10 sexist man ?
Shah Rukh Khan : There should only be one sexy man in Asia, and that should be me... PUKE !!! ...
8 Days : Who's' the biggest Stud: you, or Tom Cruise ?
Shah Rukh Khan : Honestly, you shouldn't mention my name in the same breath as theirs, They still have a lot to learn. They're very good @ acting, but I'm better looking !
ZP : ... oh god... get a life.. You doesn't make anyone horny ! ... I'm sure you make all the girls puke ! ... maybe you only attracts someone of your own race.. but look at Tom Cruise.. he definitely attracts girls of all race..... heh...
Take a look @ him ! clown ...
8 Days : Indian girls are gorgeous. What do you think of Singaporean Girls?
Shah Rukh Khan : Equally gorgeous. Especially their nose. I love their noses - I think they're very pretty, lovely. I think I look a little Singaporean...
ZP : Well... Mr. Bollywood.. get a life... Indian girls with un flattering waist line ... you call sexy !? duh !.. So what.. You're only here in Singapore for a few days and you look say like a Singaporean?.. more like a Singapore Bangalashi worker..
8 Days : Who's your successor to your throne?
Shah Rukh Khan : Nobody. There's nobody...
ZP : Wait.. you mean you have a throne?! burger king throne ah?..
8 Days : No one can fill your shoes?
Shah Rukh Khan : My 6 year old son can !... but that's 20 years from now..
ZP : .. I pity your son..
And what Shah Rukh Khan's view of moving to Hollywood .. and he said... " better to rule in India than to serve in Hollywood "... and I said..
Finally.. you're getting wise...you won't make it big in Hollywood... maybe the best you can fare in Hollywood is to appear in a 20 seconds cameo... or.. an extra in a porn movie who couldn't even get into any action because of his increasing pot belly ? " please lah deh ! " ....
... and good... good.. stay put in India or rather.. contain in India.. and accompany your leggy beauties there and run around those stupid trees....
hmmm... isn't you the one who spoke bad about Tom Cruise ? ..who's the stud now ?.. ...
one look I can tell that he's faking it with the guitar... with some stupid fire works ... " Pui ! "... Poser ! If you don't know anything about guitar and act as if you're Jimi Hendrix's reborn... I take that as an insult to the instrument....
so... $501 a ticket ... anyone ?... I'll rather pay $50 for the Moscow Circus...
P.S. At the bottom of the 8 days article, there's this note : " Shah Rukh Khan's latest movie Kal Ho Naa is screening at Bedok cinema. " ... so... so ... Bedok cinema... not orchard .. what an international superstar ! ..... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
19th December 2003
I am breaking down again... I've ran out of tears... Let me know the meaning of my life... please... I beg you ... I beg you .. please...
" A Chemist who can extract from his heart's element, compassion, respect, longing, patience, regret, surprise and forgiveness and compound them into one can create that atom which is called love ... " Kablil Gibram. . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
18th December 2003
I missed work today.. caught a slight flu last night I guess.. so.. ended up taking a good rest @ home ... I was SMSing YeowHeng while waiting in the queue to see the doctor.. and.. he'd ORDed now.. and chatted about our paths to take... he's feeling lost .. well.. it's all about the money ..
I don't know what.. that I suddenly thought of Breeks Restaurant @ Wisma.. well.. it's no longer there no more.. the last time when I went with Kelly.. It's already being sealed up for renovations.. and the "old" Breeks are being relocated to Ngee Ann City.. I loved the decor of the old restaurant.. it's hip and cool..
And moreover.. hee hee.. I was a waiter @ Breeks Wisma years ago.. straight after my O Levels.. Xiu Qing and I went for our.. " walk In interview " and.. hee hee.. got the job !.. XiuQing chose to work @ the Marina outlet while I preferred the one @ Wisma.
I missed my 2 managers, Joel mdm and Jenn mdm. They really had patience with me and basically.. there were nice people.. Joel mdm was usually the fierce one.. while Jenn mdm was the kind one.. there's also a mdm Lin, whom guided me through my first day. she still drop me an email some time.. there was also a girl.. I couldn't remember her name.. which .. surprising ended up as my course mate @ SP.. small world ?.. hee..
Breeks Wisma held tons of memories for me.. I would always like to have my meals there now and then... even though my mentors, Joel and Jenn, had long resigned.. Of all of the meals sessions held there.. the most memorable one is.. of course.. my first meal there as a customer and.. not a waiter.. that's when I got my first pay.
It was a dinner.. with YeowHeng, HuiTing, Isabella and myself.. I still have that receipt with me.. ( wait.. I'll check out the date.. ) .. oh... it's oh.. 07/05/99. ages ago.. we were seated @ table B13 which is directly outside the kitchen's window... then the chefs saw me.. they seems kind of surprised... and .. of course... gave me extra servings.. * hee hee * ..
I was surfing the net for a picture of Breeks Wisma but.. it's futile.. sigh ... I should have taken tons of it should I know It would be relocated...
and.. Tokyo is another place I missed a lot.. * Boooooo ! ! ... *.. ok ok.. I know I've said that a million times but.. I was at Jeff's site... it's like a PhotoBlog site and It was fabulous ! He's staying at Yokosuka ( same town as hide Musuem and the town hide was born ) and wowow ! .. he had those very very interesting pictures I'll share just 3 with you...
Oh.. anyway.. just
to share his
quote
first.. " Every life has a story. That is what I love so much about
photography.
Each time I photograph a person I am freezing a moment in time. Each
photo can speak so much to me. The old saying that a picture is worth a
thousand words really is true. Often I end up looking at a photo and many obtuse thoughts can flow through my mind. " ...
and now.. his pictures with his own words..
Cheerleaders - Kurihama - Young friends having a good time. Will they
still be in contact with each other 30 years from now?
Jump in, the water is fine - Kurihama - 50 or 60 years from now, will this guy remember doing this...maybe, maybe not. Will I remember it ?..Yes.
Girl in yukata on beach - Kurihama - What is going through her mind? Is she thinking of a boyfriend, school, friends...?
"Almost like the smell of an old love letter. The perfume has faded. The scent is faint, but all it takes is one with and a flood of memories come rushing back to bury me in an avalanche of nostalgia. " Jeff
I think those pictures and his comments there should be able to boast the sales of digital cameras around.. * Muahahahhaaa * ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
17th December 2003
Tanner
ah... you and Alien got.. "
moa(4) qi(4)
- minds thinking alike " ah?... Can strike the same pose behind us also....
* muahahhahaaaa *... I suddenly saw this picture and I almost instantly
broke into hysteria laughter ! .. maybe... some things really fated
ah... if you notice.. from the left.. Ah nan,
Oh... the Genting Pictures / Plad Chalet Pictures are out on my page now.. click on the small box above to view... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
16th December 2003
Saddam Hussein was finally caught. @ least something to" justify " for the war .. @ least he's caught.. Osama's next... My opinion, Mr. Hussein should NOT be executed.. he should be tortured slowly day by day.. and.. just let him suffer and then.. die in PAIN ! hmmm... why am I saying all these?.. * muahahahaa * ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
13th December 2003
Happy Birthday Hideto Matsumoto. You may had gone to a far away place.. but.. we'll never forget what you've did for us. If only you're still with us... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
13th December 2003
I was really thinking pretty hard just now... and just realized that.. How time files... I've realized that my camp's had been in shit for the last 3 months or so... 3 long months.. day after day.. week after week.. and month after month.. so many things had changed.. heard friends making plans for their future... friends scouting and scouting for a digital camera. People going for BMT re-course. People.. ORD - ing... and me?.. still a twit in DCC.
I know that there're going to be more changes in my camp and I must admit I'm too indifference for any major revolutions. I think I simply don't really want to care much.. sometimes... I think it just doesn't really matter... and I seriously doubt that DCC's gonna change much..
Maybe I'm too depressed after working long hours till late evenings at work ( Wed, Thurs )..and I reach home.. take my bath.. and then... sleep.. next morning... the cycle repeats... Seriously speaking... I wonder what's wrong... either we're not competent enough or... it's plain bad luck... I don't know..
Egg White and Wan had ORDed.. so had Charles, Mito and Thomas.. and soon... Mah, Tanner, Nick, CQ and so and so.. would ORD too.. who's left?.. only a handful of us ... I really felt that the atmosphere in camp.. had became real cold.. Gone were the days where I walked into the guard room and say.. " Eh.. Dan Bai "...
Remember the question I asked so long ago.. " when's the last time you did something for the first time? " ... Well.. I did something for the first time yesterday... I was simply exhausted from my work and I was terribly looking forward very much to my 1/2 day off yesterday fight after my duty and the sad part is that...
only Eric's present. I felt obligated to to cancel my Off to stay back with him. Feeling so so so tired and frustrated.. I asked who's not doing anything and still stayed inside DCC... I chased my colleagues ( who's not doing anything ) out of DCC for the very first time...
Early morning.. and I saw so many people all over the place.. Reading their newspaper, chatting with others.. making a hell of noise... and that really irritated Eric and myself.. here we are.. trying to concentrate on our work and find the missing stuffs and people and crowding around me doing nothing but polluting the fucking office with their noise..
No choice.. had to chase them out.. and within seconds.. there're only 5 person including me in the office as compared to almost 10 - 13 person moments ago.. and suddenly.. I thought of Teo Chee Tat... I am afraid of " becoming " more like him... I felt a little bad as I might have offended Nick.. I don't mean it...
Afternoon.. I overheard that person saying to his new team members.. " Next time.. If you key ( the Smis System ) wrongly.. you all would have to take 2 " ( 2 duty offs burn ).. that made me laugh.. the pot calling the kettle black? ...
heh.. If that's the case.. I would strongly recommend him to burn 10 duty offs next time .. for all the stupid mistakes in keying he'd made. I hated him a lot.. always creates things for me to do.. all due to his own error and all he really need to do is.. say.. " sorry leh.. sorry leh Zp.. " .. and.. " oh.. Thank you thank you.. ".. shake his ass... and all is solved ... and me .. I feel like giving him one tight slap... have to solve all his stuffs while he's scot free. ... that's life?... Maybe..
I've mentioned ages ago that I would refrain from talking anything from my Camp.. but.. maybe I'm too worked up. ... I just can't stomach it..
I'm really wondering if next year would be better... seriously.. I think.. It might just become worse.. as I would foresee much more changes... Sgt Lee yesterday was telling me about the plan he was coming up with that'll change the system in running the camp totally..
He asked for my opinion but my reply to him was totally un - constructive.. and said I was too disillusioned at work.. I think that pissed him off a little and I apologized.. but.. I'm serious... I think it might be futile .. No doubting his Sgt Lee's idea but.. maybe I'm just too pessimistic.. ... okay.. enough of camp.
Actually .. I'm very glad that I took off today... break from all the shits in camp. Slept till 10 am and felt I could have slept more.. felt real relaxed and happy.. watched Kill Bill on DVD for the second time and still find it so interesting.. can't wait for volume 2! and played CM ( Championship Manager ) season 03 - 04 for the whole afternoon and watched Down With Love on VCD. Not a bad show after all.. but I felt that the plot's just too typical... overall.. not a bad show.. and returned to play the CM till late evening...
Now.. I feel like killing anyone with a Katana and see his blood "spraying" out all over the place... with the ' ppphhheeesssssssss " shound.. WOWOOO .... sounds so sadistic and fun! . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
12th December 2003
I'm blind. I'm sad. I'm broken. I'm exhausted. I'm disillusioned. I'm a pig. I'm tired. I'm numb. I'm closing my ears. I feel pain. I'm lame. I'm weak. I bleed. I shed tears. I hate hate. I'm gone. I'm here. I'm a twit. I said " thank you ". I hated him. I adore her. I hated her. I respect him. I'm having an headache. I want to be free. I want to be free. I'm among the broken clouds. I'm the fallen leaf. I'm a broken dream. I do not make sense. I'm lazy. I'm jaded. I'm saying " Good Bye ". I'm full of empty faith. I'm fading away into the dusk. I'm ... dead... I'm... Me ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
6th December 2003
I've lost my interest in everything...
I've been Blog - hopping and I've seen people ( Singaporeans ) studying abroad writing as far as U.S.A. I don't know but... right now... I would want to throw everything away.. and jet off to Down Under.. and study the things I like instead of leading such a regimental life in the army. Maybe one day... You might just see me writing... " hey... It's snowing in Australia... " ... ok... ok... I know Australia don't... snow... or can see me bitching about life in Australia... or how the people are getting more racist ...
Anyway.. saw Caiying @ her shop.. but didn't went in... While taking the train to City Hall... the thought of getting my motorbike license and a second hand Vespa resurfaced again.. Let's see... the lessons would cost me around 300 plus ??.. the the bike itself?.. errr... 3000 plus?... COE?... hmmm....
I think... I'm contradicting myself again... think should just forget about the whole idea... I think... It's just a little too expensive considering that I might leave Singapore January 2005... and ... I'll be only riding the bike for less than a year... so ah ....
It depends... I might delay my departure date for a year... we'll see what happens...
If the thought of getting a motorbike crossed my mind a year ago.. I might be zipping around in my red hot Vespa now.. regrets.. speaking of regrets... I'm totally upset about this regret is that ... I could have joined that URA competition regarding public spaces months ago... now... the results are already out... sigh.. if only I knew about the competition earlier... regrets regrets... .. suan le ... just too bad...
Going to stay up late again today... going online to research on the cost and stuffs about my university and the accommodations and the... study loans...
Going in to J.B tomorrow.. hope to get some DVDs and some decent X Box games.. and maybe get a haircut... * Wwwheeeeeeeeeeeee * ....
" The name of God in vain.. You pushed me I'm insane.. "
X- Japan's Drain . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
5th December 2003
There's this quote by Mah MH that seems to stick inside my head and I really felt that it made tons of sense... " Ai Yah... what she / he say is just like smelly farts ... smell smell a bit and suan le ..(forget about what he / she just said )... " ... meaning ... like an empty promises or someone's talking rubbish again.. and not take it to heart.... cool.. here you go.. words of wisdom again ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
4th December 2003
I've just watched my first episode of Achar , the channel 5 sitcom. I had to gather all my courage to catch it cause I know that sitcoms produced by Media Corp does... sucked most of the time ( Except the early seasons of P.C.K and Under One Roof ) .... and .... as expected Achar was... lame... and totally unfunny !
Personally.. I do not find it funny at all... and I wondered why are those canned laughter being played on and on... must the audience be prompt when they should be laughing?... or they knew that their jokes wasn't even funny that.... they had to do the Canned Laughter thing to make it look funny when it obviously wasn't so..
ok.. picture this.. " son.. I'm getting old... I might just die with out hugging my own grandchildren.... * Canned Laughter * ".... hahahahahhaa...... And Yes... what's so funny?.... go on~ ... go... and die.. so be it ! .. by all means ! ....
Or maybe the next episode might just show Steph walking along the road... * Canned laughter * ... ha ha ha... The audience at home laughs after hearing the canned laughter... ha ha ha... and Ok..." what's so funny? " I Asked.... he might just reply...
" Well.. I thought it's supposed to be funny.. cause they did rolled out those canned laughter ... So I just laughed along.. " And... I would just laugh.. " hahahaha.... you're a twit ... and I think.. You should be acting in Achar too ! ".....
Am I losing my sense of humor or what? ... Watching such sitcoms definitely makes me sick ... and the absolutely beautiful ( Maybe she should just stick to modeling.. ) Steph Song's Stony acting skills made the show no better.... By the way.. I switched off my Television set just 20 minutes into the show.. or rather.. a sitcom if you would call it one... with actors reciting their funny lines...
Just why can't we have show's like Sex and the City ?... I'm sure... that their jokes are far far much more better... hmmm... I think I'm getting myself a copy of season one... Just imagine this... Achar was aired in the States... and just imagine... what would happen?... well... that might probably be the end of the world...
So...what's the best 3 excuses when you're caught watching Achar on TV?...
1) I really loved watching Steph Song On TV.
2) I really loved watching Steph Song On TV.
3) I really loved watching Steph Song On TV.
So.. to conclude... Arhar... is just really about ..... Steph Song.( If You asked me ).. And.. If you're wondering.. I'm not... a Fan of Steph Song.. well ... I just thought she looked great.. that's all ...
Oh well... had a Busy / Slack day in the office... I realized that works often pours in .. during the late afternoon... that seems to be the trend these days... Actually I'm going to the Escape theme park ( I missed the Viking !!! ) tomorrow with Kelly.. but but but.. her colleague had already taken leave for the Hari Raya celebrations.. so... had to postpone to next week ... should be on a week day.. just to avoid the crowd... Then maybe just meet her tomorrow for a dinner or something after my visit to the URA centre ...
Gonna sleep late ! ... cause I plan to wake up late tomorrow... Wwhhheeeeeeeee ! Hope I'll have sweet dreams later.. and in case you're wondering... If I'm hoping for Steph Song to appear in my dreams... Well.. NO ! ... I'll rather dream of someone / something else... hee hee.... Sweet Dreams to you too ! " Huat cai Ah ' ... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
3rd December 2003
Quek flipped thought the pages of the brand new issue of 8 days magazine.. and.. maybe he felt kind of disbelief... Which I pretty much felt the same... Ladies And Gentlemen ... what I'm talking about.. Is this picture... It show our beloved Fiona Xie... during a photo shoot in Australia.
" Sorry Guys, Your dream job's taken by artist Dexter Ng. Who's applying suntan lotion on Fiona... "
If I'm a girl.. I certainly dis-allow some horny man to apply some freaking sun tan lotion near my bosom buddies... I mean.. I could had applied it myself.. my arms aren't that short... Or she's just being lazy?... what if that Dexter fellow lost balance and accidentally shifts his palms down south? god knows.. and I'm totally not interested at all... maybe SP Lim would be interested... ( he's gonna kill me ) ....
Anyway... the Moral of the story... Sex Sells ! ... no doubt. Proven by SP Lim.. As I sought his help to buy a copy of 8 days for me this morning.. and when I reached the bus interchange.. he told me that he's keeping the copy after I've finished reading... And.. why?.. it's because of the cover...
Just like a hormone driven young boy... His desperation drove him to ask Tanner to get a copy for him as I've expressed my intention or keeping it... high sex drive...
If you ask me.. I wasn't a very big fan of Miss Fiona.. In fact.. I feel that she's a pure bitch. Just look at the flunked " My Genie " show.. she.. sucked! .. obvious to the blind that she's trying very hard.. to act cute.. which pretty much made her a pain in the ass... and to all Fiona Xie's Fans out there... : get a life ! ....
ok.. would this advertisement caught your attention if the picture was an old hag instead of this lovely looking girl?... I doubt so... sex sells... If you're good and pretty.. people would come to you.. and what I'm trying to say is... from my point of view.. Fiona's just an empty vase.. full of air inside.. no substance... whatever! .. she earns more than me.. so...ah ...... ...
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
1st December 2003 (2)
Staying up late just to watch the stars of me and you in the dark clear skies at the stroke of the peaceful midnight time together by the sea.. and never would I thought that you would place back the clouds like a jigsaw puzzle... piece by piece... You made me lose my ecstasy. Shivering in the cold.. the merciless clouds stabbed right into my faded heart... . It was not a dream. It was not a fantasy. It's... all over... soon .. I was greeted by the sharp rays of the dawn... You .. were walking away from me... you were.. just gone...
Reality makes me go weak in my knees. I don't feel like a Friday.. Euphoria seemed out of reach again.. and even every seconds felt like eternity .. I had to escape from the devil's rage. Now... I've ran out of illusions. I can't buy them no more.. As I question the silence conversations we've always had... I realized that sadness is something I had to adore.. It's time.. that I should fall from grace.
Anticipating my 99th nervous breakdown.. The silence is breaking me.. My ear can't hear a single whisper from you any more.. but my heart is yearning for one .... Fighting back the army of tears... I know that... Someday... I'll be fine.. Someday.. I'll be free.... and one day.. I'll have to walk the modest winding road... without you... until we meet again... Until... I can forget your love.... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
1st December 2003
@ Jurong Point coffee Bean Joint
Lau Beh's Adopted Part Time Pet
The Legend
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
30th November 2003
@01.36am
Just finished my bath and checked my E-Mails.. and... yesterday.. 291103..was definitely a day .. to remember...
I was totally bored to tears yesterday afternoon... and I called Yaohui and he's sleeping~! ... and he said he'll call back later at night as I asked him if he's free to go out... and so.. he did called around 8.30 plus... and I was really feeling... lazy @ that point of time... cool weather... just feel like rotting @ home... and he said... " hey.. wanna go Changi Airport?... " ... and I was like... " wow.... " ... cause last week... we actually planned to go but there's some time constrains... so ah~... off we go~...
Well... everything was actually okay till.. somewhere near the ah... Payar Lebar road exit on the PIE. there's this traffic jam... quite a long one.. then... Yaohui got an sms... actually I wanted to read for him but.. ai yah... and then...
holy shit... we crashed into the red car ahead of us... holy cow.... holy shit... I was instantly stoned... we're in the middle of the expressway... got off the car and talked some shits... that Malay dude wanted it to be settled by insurance.. err... anyway... after much shock... My Virgin Accident ...
Yaohui was pretty calm entertaining those Malay dudes.. if I'm in his shoes... I would be in a total loss... Somehow.. I felt that I had my share of blame... if only I pulled the fucking handbrake... things might not be so bad... but the lucky thing is that... no one got hurt... and the damage on both vehicles... were pretty minor.. just some dents... I supposed ?...
We exit via Payar Lebar Road and ended up around Circuit Road... ( I found out from a ma ma shop's certificate on the wall ) .. I was still pretty much in a shock... good thing I had my seatbelt on... although the car wasn't traveling at an high speed when the collision happened... I felt an impact... good thing I'm still alive and kicking recording all this down...
The Cat inspecting the damage...
We sat around the car park and Yaohui started making all the necessary calls... After all these shit happened... we then thought that we should be heading home... but... we're already here.. 3/4 of the journey.. and... pretty lame to turn back.. and... just decided to proceed after all ... and.. I thought that's the most expensive journey to Changi Airport ...
I love Changi Airport... I don't really know why.. Maybe It gives me a feeling of traveling... hee... Stared @ the Departure board... and... TOKYO - NARITA ... ohhhhh.... I really wished that... I could just get one ticket and just fly off to Tokyo... We then went over to the viewing gallery... there's this sculpture ... a globe actually.. made up of coins... I've tried to find Singapore on the globe and realized that... some itchy hands had pulled them out...
"huh?... So easy to pull out meh ?... " ... then I also stared to pull slightly and ... Opps... I really pulled one out... I had became an member of the itchy hand club.... instantly... sigh ...
We drove home around 12 plus midnight... Long way home... when I was walking back ... I saw something on the floor.. " City Harvest Church " Certificate of attendance for the basic sign language course... unwanted?.. muahhahaaaa.......
Next I witnessed something so beautiful... I saw a bunch of kids with their dad... squatting down and I don't know what they're doing ... then... I saw this sparkle sticks.. wow.. it's lovely.. children running around having fun.. not worrying of the slightest problem. I think their concern was only... getting more sparkle sticks.. heehee... they're really having the time of their lives...
@11.33am On Songs : It takes a person to be sad to write a sad song... You must be feeling happy... to write a happy song... and Now.. I wondered.. how Yoshiki felt while writing his masterpiece... tears ... It was actually written for his father who had died at the age of around 30 something.. close to 33 years old... He must had felt devastated.. every single line of his lyrics in tears... held a significant meaning... especially ... " Someday... I'm gonna be older than you.. " .. how true.. someday... Yoshiki would be older.. than his father.... such simple statement held such a heavy meaning... When hide left us, He too... dedicated this song to hide on the radio ... @03.18pm What a small world.. I met the Malay family who's uncle car had been knocked by ours... heh... exchanged some greetings and his wife told me .. " take care " ..and we parted with a smile.... well... I really need to take care now....
Those CHC people are playing games under my block... and they're making noise like no one's business.... I'm not complaining ... I'm in for Peace and Love ... @05.18pm Well.. even Kelly had " put my plane " again.... I'm still feeling happy today... heehee.. also like that... @06.34pm &^%$... I'm still hearing those kids from CHC making Hooo Haaaa noises underneath my block's basketball / soccer court .... it's ok .. it's ok... I'm still in for Peace and Love ....
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
29th November 2003
From an issue of " New Man " Magazine. @12.11am
- Coca Cola... was originally green... - 111,111,111 X 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 - This is the only food that doesn't spoil... What is this? Honey. - A Snail can sleep for three years ! ! - Women blink twice as much as men. - The cigarette lighter was invented before the match. - It's impossible to lick your elbows. - And Finally.99% of people who read this would try to lick their elbows... @10.28am
Early morning... I think I must had caught a cold last night... Had a slight headache too.. Here I am.. All alone in my house all over again.. Went to town central to the ATM machine to transfer the money to Mah but... the queue was just... too long.. worse still... I only had 4 dollars which is insufficient to get myself a pack of fags... hmmm... so... Had to walk back home just to get 10 dollars more... and my lighter... I went to the Ma Ma shop below and... gee... There are still small packs available... With the $14 dollars I had.. I bought 3 packets! ..
This morning... The wind was chilling.. which I thought was pretty rare in Singapore... Fag-ging in the chilling wind was definitely more enjoyable than under the hot afternoon sun... which explains I rarely fag in the afternoon... really felt the boredom now...
@02.37pm
Well.. I guessed I'm just too bored... hee hee... oh.. this actually took my an hour... Oh my....... ....
A- Architecture I wish ... to be an architect...
B- Blue Blue's my favourate colour... unfortunately.. I'm always feeling.... blue...
C- Curry Rice ( Japanese Curry Rice ) My favourate Japanese dish... The curry just taste different from those in Indian ones.. not hot.. but.. the spice made it Oh so good !
D- Dreams I would hope that my simple dream would come true one day... It's not a dream about being the richest.... nor the most famous... it's only about.... being truly happy...
E- Episodes I believe that... One's life is being divided into different chapter or rather episodes... so.. I'm in the most boring episode now... hang on... it's going to be over soon!
F- Female I wished that I was born a female... P.S. I'm not gay!
G- Guitars I Loved playing guitar... but that's in the past now.. but whenever I see my Les Paul... the flame rekindled... but ... not for long... maybe the lack of practice and the diminished passion for playing just died 2 years ago.... there's not much drive in me anymore to play it... but.. I still love my Les Paul..
H- hide Well.. I bet this one comes as no surprise... it's got to be hide-san. His music brings Joy and sometimes Hope to the people... Inspirations..
I- Isabella I think.. I'll always remember her as that cheerful and chatty girl from my secondary school... I still missed her every now and then... I've even got my Les Paul Guitar named after her... Izabella.
J- Japan You should go there someday... It's such a beautiful and polite country ..
K- Kid I always wished to be one right now.... a worry free one... No need to worry about Human Relationships, no need to play mind games..
L- Liow Yap... that's my surname... I pretty much hated it... cause it really sounds like.. " Gone " or an expression of " gone case " in Mandarin.. hmmm... I really really hate people calling me by my surname...
M- Music Music... it's something very important to me... without any music.. I might as well die...
N- Nostalgia
O- Ocean I loved to be by the sea... listening to the waves...
P- Photographs I loved to take photographs... Keeping them as a memory... happy moments... funny moments...
Q- Quitter I can be... a quitter sometimes... it's just that... " Okay Okay.. I'm not going to be in this shit anymore .... "....
R- Rock Stars Sometimes... I would really want to step into the shoes of a rock Star... They got the best job on earth... Write songs.. Booze... well... It's really... about.. Sex, Drugs...and Rock N' Roll... nothing else really matters...
S- Shopping? I loved to shop... only when I had the cash... * LOL*.. well... window shopping is alright but... I'm also tempted to get some stuffs that I don't really need in life ..
T- Time Time was really everything... you can look back @ those pages of memory... You can also think about the route you want to take in your future... My friend once told me something.... Someone told him " why do you keep on thinking about you ( sad ) past?..." You know what he replied?... " Then why do we study History? " ...
U- Unfinished One of my favourate X Japan song.....
V- Vulnerable I think I'm just too Vulnerable right now... wake up... it's time to die...
W- Whatever life... had to go on ....
X- X Japan One of my favourate Japanese band... kicks ass!
Y- Youth Wasted Youth... I wished I could had spend better time during my youth.
Z- Zilch I'm always feeling so empty and...so full of nothing... maybe it's not time yet....
@05.11pm
Very nice right? This is the LEMONed T Shirt.. hide's created brand in another words.. ... How much?... 4500 Yen... and 1000 Yen is around 14 Sing Dollars... so ah~.... not worth it... just too expensive... @07.38pm
My new Home for this WebLoG.. http://www.oocities.org/sg/zpliow/whatzup.html please update your links... . hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
28th November 2003
hide ( 131264 - 020598 )
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
27th November 2003
As I ran faster and faster away from the illusions and lies of a beautiful fabricated love. I had met a lie. Something just seems too beautiful, Something so strange. Soon We'll all have to part. As much am I afraid pf the truth, I'm afraid of you. Holding to the roots of the flower, holding to every bit of the fallen sand... for once... I thought you were so real. Even though I had to follow the directions of my blinded faith.. I had to remember the pages of the distorted broken truth. It's just not meant to be... you had to go ... Until the flowers ever learn to bloom again ...
But when I closed my eyes, the lights of the future was too bright for me to take. I had a vision of you... along with me broken in the gutter. Never can I ... stay with you ...
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
26th November 2003
Yeah... I'm On OFF till .... till...... Monday ! just came from from my duty off @ 12.30 plus.. and It was very very kind of Mark Lee to drive me home. Jenson was also very helpful, helping me to brain storm for my 2 usms.. Life's fair... If you help me before.. I'll remember and would replay you back like those advance clearances I did for tm2 ... but.. hmmm : " When walking in an open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he doesn't stop, Destroy him. "
The Attack of the Alien !
Guards of 251103, Yours truly, Ken, Nick, Tanner... By default... Tanner and I would not stand with Mr. Ken.. so... Nick told me there wasn't any mosquitoes yesterday... and I beg to differ... cannot be... I personally killed 3 to 4 of them... hmmm... Is Nick trying to say that body odour ...is better than those insecticide out there ?.... hmmm .... whatever ....
No More Specs.... No More Specs bending.... No More...
Dear All... I Would Not Be Posting Any More Thoughts Anymore For The Next 4-5 Days... I Am Searching For A New Me... Another Life... Another Life ... No Need To Be.. Hurt anymore ...
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
24th November 2003
Hail The Big Heads ! I'm the normal one ! muahaha!
Today.. was pretty funny... why?... I was looking at my " things to buy " column and I stared hard into my ' X Japan DVD '... @ HMV... It cost 158 plus plus... then.... afternoon.. I settled for the VCD version that I've bought around a year ago... It was pretty clear... I could almost see hide's pimples... Ouch... no lah.. I think hide don't have any pimples ....
heee.... then in the afternoon... Evon left me her message in the Tag Board above.. and I was like... " ... " ... 3 dots again.... * Laughs * ... like this also can ah~?.... Talked to her on ICQ later on... Really envy her a bit... study In Japan... I think I'll only take her less than 3 hours to get to hide Museum which she visited .. errr...... Last Saturday ! ! ..... Envy... envy... Ai Yah... @ least I've been there before liao... so.. .not so bad lah ~... Evon... 80 dollars lah... muahhahaaa...
@ 0026 251103
I was on the phone with Kelly when Yaohui called... " Hey.. come down leh.. .I got car ... "... and... heh... Went to that Taman Jurong food center... and I suddenly realized that... That food center was the one that Kelly and I visited some years back... hmmm.. touch of nostalgia... and when we sit down and took a fag.. My handphone rang... some unfamiliar number... I picked it up... The other party hung up... &*$#@! .... and what... Ben Au walked over... And I was shocked...
I almost couldn't recognize him in his long hair... and gee... he was pretty updated about the happenings in our camp... thanks to GPMG. He's doing fine with his studies... well.. I'm really happy to see him.... hee hee.... and guess what... Ben was actually Yaohui's Neighbour...and they used to play computer games together when they were young... hmmmm.... what a small world.....
.hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
23rd November 2003
Well... If you asked me how am I feeling today... I'll say... It Sucks! I don't know... Maybe it's just like some kind of hang - over shits... Was getting pretty good yesterday but.. today's just plain emptiness and loneliness... I just felt so so empty.. empty house.. empty soul.. just... nothing.. I'm so bored...
It's been so long since I've went down to fag... all alone.. without any rhyme and reason.. I just wanted a fag badly.. good thing that the Ma Ma shop below was still selling those Small Packets. Actually today, I planned to meet up with Kelly.. either town or she's coming over to do her MD stuffs.. but.. She overslept..
I really hated staying at home... all alone.. with nothing to do... Well .. I could actually work on my URA portfolio but... I'm just being lame and lazy... so.. I surfed that horoscope again.. " Librarians... hates loneliness... " How true... sigh ...
And later on... I was just thinking.... I'll transport today's scenario.. Plain boredom and loneliness and sadness and emptiness.... and. .oh so whatever..... yes.. transport today to a typical day in Australia... Down there studying... no family member beside... No nagging from Mum... no nothing ! ... and.. I think I might be more suicidal over there... unless... .. .......
Suddenly.. there's just so many full of nothing thoughts running through my mind.. I think I'm going to explode... What do I want?... what I really want?... why am I feeling like this?...
tomorrow... I'll be on OFF. but... so what ! ? ... I might be rotting at home with nothing... and .... another day wasted... I'm just living life just like those fucking junkies... get high one day and let my life down to rot on another.. I want the meaning of my life ! ... and I bet no one really holds the answer to it except myself... but.. I still can't really unlock all this shits in me ! I'm think I'm just like a fucking junkie !
I couldn't help it but I felt like what hide sang in his Pink Spider... I felt just like a spider.. who longed to fly freely.. .. Borrowed wings from his captured butterfly... and tried to raced towards the sky... but... zilch ! ... I'm also.. trying to break free of my self inflicted misery ... I want to fly ! .... Free My Misery ... ... some day ... some day.. I would see the light ....
I am totally envious of people that always stayed positive.. no matter what shit happens... they're always ready to * Smile *... You know.. I really wondered how they managed to do that.. .genes imparted from their parents... or they simply gave up on all these shits happening and... * smile.... tomorrow would be worse... * heh... I have absolutely no idea... but.. I truly envy those people that are trouble free... does those lucky freaks really exist ? ? .... hmmm.. ...
I know my day would come.... maybe that's that day I leave this world... on the other hand... ( I'm contradicting myself here... ) .... I might also feel say to leave this world... what would happen to my loved ones... I certainly would not be over the moon seeing their tears overflow.... oh bull shit... why am I saying all these shits... you're wasting time reading all my shits ! I'm sorry about that ...
" Tell Me why... I Want The Meaning Of My Life ... "
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE .
22nd November 2003
halleluiah, la miserable, do you wanna show me how low and low? < say halleluiah >
@ 00.52 23.11.03
Yesterday was Spring, to be exact, I was walking along Memory Lane during Spring time... I felt that I was transported back to my Poly school days... Morning... I was in Jurong West (where Kelly used to stay ) for my dental shits... I thought of those days... and in the afternoon... she messaged if I'm free...
We met @ Clementi around 4.30 pm. Took Bus number 105 to Orchard Road... On the bus.... guess who I saw.. Colonel Quek! He's just sitting behind Kelly. Quek tried to get my attention by taking out his camera and attempt to take a picture of me ( I was standing beside Kelly ) ... It's really weird that I did not even notice Quek. As always... I'm the sort of person who walked blindly...
@ Orchard... after 10 - 20 minutes plus of shopping.. we began to shop for food.. the both of us were... very very hungry.. to the extend of getting hallucination from hunger... I wanted to eat Japanese Curry Rice... but.. couldn't find any restaurants offered that.. on and on we walked .. I thought we were in the Army 1/2 Marathon shit.... oh well.. we finally got to Paragon's Basement ... walking among the crowd.. I felt a push in my arms... and I looked back... It's Weiliang ! ... one of my poly school buddy! muahaha... oh anyway... settled on the noodle shop... ( forgot the name ) ... I ate Char Kway Tiao while she ate some Tom Yam noodle...
As we walked towards Takashimaya... I saw Kitty! My dear old lao mei ! she like... walking towards us with that stupid smile of hers... Kelly later told me that... " Why was that girl giving us that kind of smile..... " ... hee hee.... It's been so so long since I've seen Kitty... so long...
We just walked on and on and got to Cineleisure... Wanted to catch Kill Bill but.... sigh.. not showing... and it's getting late... our day shall end...
To sum it all... I really felt like going back to the poly days... taking 105 with her... get down to Orchard Road... walk here... walk there... Met old friends ...
. hIS iNVINCIBLE dULUGE eVIDENCE . |
