Part 2
This section is dedicated to all anti-King Jonathon pple
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Sparrow glared at Numair and said, “Okay, so
not a 100% MCP, as after all, you did support Alanna. Sorry, got a bit carried
away. However, I find you a selfish person. A parent that do not care for his
children, his children’s happiness. You happily arrange marriages in hope to
strengthen alliances. You, yourself should know how lonely it is at the top. You
had the fortune of parents who let you exercise your will, your right, to choose
a mate. I don’t think you love Thayet, who I think is rebound woman, you are
just in lust with her. If you did, you would want your children to find the love
that you have. After all, you have 5 children already, not one. Anyway, I think
you don’t love your children enough to let them seek what you do not have.
Hello, there is virtually no such thing as divorce in this world. You are
selfish in securing alliances that might not work by the way, when you persuaded
Kalasim to give up her dream to be a knight. She can only live once and you
refused her something, which you let her brothers have. In that act, you are a
MCP or a stupid idiot.” Sparrow rambled. “And I guess you do not understand
what I am talking about, right?”
Everyone just stared at her. I do not think that King J could comprehend what
Sparrow was saying because it was either that he was unused to a tirade of such
unflinching frankness or he was just too thick headed.
Sparrow huffed. “Since you love arranged marriages so much, you can have a
taste of it,” Sparrow paused and said in a sing-song voice. “Imagine this,
when your parents were alive, they decreed that they would love to strengthen an
alliance. Thus, you were wed. To the worst princess wife anyone could ever think
of. Meet your new, ‘improved’ wife!”
Poof! A hideous woman appeared, her diameter and proportion could rival an
elephant. “JONATHON!” She bellowed. “YOU PROMISED ME A TOWER BY
SUMMER! WHERE IS IT?!”
“Of course, dear kingy,” Sparrow said. “Some kingdoms may have strange
customs that calls for a king to have more than one wife.”
“Husband!” screeched a voice that sounded like nails scraping a black board.
Everyone winced.
“How many wives does he have?” Numair gaped in amazement.
Sparrow pretended to cough and covered her mouth. She quickly said, “50.” as
a number of voices shrieked and yelled and called and whined for their “Jonny”.
“WHAT?!” King Jonathon yelped.
“Now, now,” Sparrow said, waving her hands. “It’s not that bad. Thayet
is one of them, to provide as contrast. I would now like to see Lindhall.”
Looking at Daine’s and Numair’s faces, she added, “He’s nice, so don’t
worry.”
“This way my lady,” Numair said extravagantly and bowed.
“Horse Lords,” Daine breathed at the sight of King J’s wives.
“Come on,” Sparrow said and yanked Daine after Numair.
Lindhall opened his door and was greeted by the sight of a teenager. “Please
sign my autograph book please! Can I see Bonedancer?” Sparrow said in a rush
and charged into the room.
“Erm, alright,” Lindhall replied, blinking. “Arr, I mean, Numair, what
is…”
“Just sign the book,” Numair advised. “I will explain in due time.
Bonedancer flew to Sparrow’s outstretched arm. Whether by Sparrow’s will or
its own, she didn’t care, she was too enthralled.
“Bonedancer is simply incredible!” Sparrow exclaimed. “Better than the
dinosaurs on BBC’s ‘Walking With Dinosaurs’! Oh wait. Picture, picture!”
A camera appeared on a tripod stand and Numair, Daine, Lindhall, Sparrow and
Bonesdancer were standing together.
“Say Tortall!” Sparrow said happily.
“Tortall!” they chorused helpfully.
“Hmmm…” Sparrow mused thoughtfully.
Numair got a tad worried by her silence. “Where would you like to go to
now?”
“I would really like to go and see your tower, Pirate’s Swoop. However, the
ride takes a week,” Sparrow contemplated.
“If you can conjure people from place to place, why not yourself?” Numair
replied.
“Oh ya hor,” Sparrow responded, snapping her fingers. “Well then, er hum,
let us be at Numair’s Tower!”
Numair, Daine and Sparrow appeared at the foot of Numair’s Tower. Sparrow
looked around.
“Wow, less creepy than I thought,” Sparrow mused aloud. “I always thought
it might look like those vampire infested edifices.”
“Excuse me,” Numair said in a very haughty voice.
Daine laughed.
Sparrow turned around slowly and said excitedly, “Let’s go in!”
“Welcome to my humble abode,” Numair announced exaggeratedly.
“Thank you my good man,” Sparrow replied heartily. Daine just giggled.
The tower was bigger than Sparrow expected. She had thought it would be a narrow
thing, something like Balor’s Needle. Hey, Sparrow has very little experiences
in seeing medival structures. She lives in SEA, you know. (For the pple who do
not know what SEA stands for, tsk tsk!)
“Okay, thanx for the tour,” Sparrow chirped happily. Happily, why? When they
passed Numair’s bedroom, (which was big by the way) she saw some of Daine’s
stuff inside and felt unusually hyper to discover that Daine resided with Numair
in the tower at times. How did she know it was Daine’s stuff? Well, the stuff
were feminine and since Daine was the only female Numair was presently involved
in, (and Daine didn’t go wonky when she saw the stuff and bonk Numair on the
head) it was safe to presume that the stuff belonged to Daine.
Okay, okay, Sparrow, you deserve a pat on the head for such an excellent
deduction. *Author pats Sparrow on head. Pat, pat, pat*
The tour ended in the kitchen and the housekeeper bustled up to them. “Ah,
visitors,” the housekeeper said. “Have an apple, it is not good for a
youngling to be so scrawny.”
Sparrow experienced a weird sense of deja vu. Sparrow inspected the housekeeper
closely. “Pardon?” Sparrow asked politely.
“I said, have an apple, it is not good for a youngling to be so scrawny,”
the housekeeper said pleasantly.
Sparrow had a prickling sensation at the back of her neck. “Think Sparrow, why
does that sound so familiar?” Sparrow muttered to herself. “AH HA!”
Sparrow yelled.
Everyone jumped and stared at her.
“I remember you now, you were in my fic, but how can that be possible? I mean,
it is a fan fiction, not by the, all hail the almighty Tamora Pierce!” Sparrow
yelped. “Wait,” Sparrow’s mind scrambled to try and remember her fics.
“Daine, do you know someone called Michean?”
Daine looked surprised, “Why yes, he works at the kennels.”
“And you met a deer called Soft Streak and Bold and Coyolie,” Sparrow went
on.
Daine nodded. “How did you…”
“Know?” Sparrow shook her head. “You might not believe me, but back in my
world. I wrote fan fiction and I introduced some new characters in. Like Michean,
Regina, Jassia.”
Daine’s eyebrow rose at the last two names, “I could do without the latter,
you know.”
“Yes, I know,” Sparrow said. “She is going to do something dastardly in my
sequel fic that I have yet to write.”
“Dastardly? She…” Daine retorted.
“No, shush, shush!” Sparrow commanded. “I haven’t started to write the
fic yet and I don’t want to know what happens.” Numair looked strangely
uncomfortable. “Numair,” Sparrow remarked, deliberately changing the
subject. “Are you embarrassed that we are talking about your ex-paramour?”
“When you put it that way, yes, naturally,” A red-faced Numair muttered,
then in a louder voice. “So you created the new characters out of your
mind?”
“Yes, I did. Do you know anybody by the name of Princess Roxy? Um… Clio? Erm,
Sephti?” Sparrow said, her mind trying to recall the past fan fics she had
read. “How about Pixie Light? Alleria?” Numair and Daine shook their heads.
“How about Ryan? Bruna?”
Sparrow scratched her head, “I can perhaps, understand in a weird sense that
my characters could exist. However, I don’t understand why only my characters
are here.”
“No use wasting time to think about it,” Daine advised. “Save it for
later, you have little time left.”
Sparrow glanced at her watch, “By golly, you’re right. I have only 27
minutes left. We have to figure out this mystery later. Now let us commence to
Pirate’s Swoop!”
They were transported to the middle of a busy courtyard. The people gasped and
gawked at their sudden entrance.
“It’s alright!” Numair boomed. “We are just dropping by!” The people
apparently recognised Numair and were accustomed to his eccentricities as they
continued their work as usual.
“Numair! What are you doing here? I thought you were at Corus,” a red hair
woman said, walking towards them.
“Where’s your hospitality, love? Welcome, welcome!” a brown hair man
followed close at her heels.
“OH MY GOSH! IT’S ALANNA AND GEORGE!!!!” Sparrow screeched and started
jumping.
“Erm,” Numair winced. “Who else were you expecting at Pirate’s Swoop
other than the Baron and Baroness?”
“Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,” Sparrow said.
Sorry Readers, Sparrow has seemed to be temporarily overwhelmed with excitement
that has tampered with her speaking abilities and exaggerated her brain
deficiencies. Let me amend that. *Author takes a rolled up newspaper and whacks
Sparrow on head* Let’s continue.
“This is…” Numair introduced and paused. “Come to think of it, we never
did get your name.”
“Sparrow, the name’s Sparrow,” Sparrow responded. In a burst of
friendliness, she stuck out her hand, “Hi! I’m Sparrow, could you sign up
autograph book please?”
George gallantly kissed her hand instead of shaking it as Sparrow expected and
remarked, “Pleasure to see a new face in these parts.”
Sparrow blushed and smiled, “Flatterer!”
Alanna solemnly shook her hand. Sparrow received a good impression from the
handshake. It was a firm handshake. Sparrow handed them the autograph book.
Alanna looked at Numair in askance. “Just sign the book,” Numair advised.
“I’ll explain later.”
“Hey, hey, where’s Maude and Coram?” Sparrow asked. They magically
appeared, albeit surprised, in the courtyard. “Yay! Group picture!”
A camera on a tripod stand materialised in front of them. “Say Pirate’s
Swoop!” Sparrow yelled. Everyone complied obligingly.
“What the-” Coram rumbled.
“Ask later,” Numair interrupted.
“Autographs please!” Sparrow said, giving Maude and Coram the autograph
book.
“Can I have a tour please?” Sparrow asked enthusiastically.
“Alright,” George replied charmingly, “This way, my lady.”
The tour ended in the stables where Daine had temporarily resided in in Wild
Magic. Sparrow admired the scenery. George had been very charming and nice.
Alanna, once coaxed out of her shell, was very charismatic and nice as well.
“I can’t imagine living without the sea outside my window,” Sparrow
remarked. “I live near the sea as well. Just a stone’s throw away,
literally.” She consulted her watch. “Four minutes left.”
“Here,” Daine said, handing back the autograph book. Numair and Daine had
just completed it.
“My last lecture,” Sparrow said. Alanna, George, Numair and Daine looked at
her.
“Oh, only concern Daine and Numair,” Sparrow continued pointedly. George and
Alanna looked away. “Forgive my frankness, but because I only have 60 minutes
in Tortall. Hey, I want to say everything I want to say. I can sum up my
frustration on you two in one sentence.”
Sparrow paused, “JUST GET MARRIED, DARN IT!”
Everyone jumped.
“Oh come on, come on, you love him, he loves you,” Sparrow explained to
Daine, pacing about. “What’s the problem? For goodness sake, at least that
is the only big problem you have! Can you just get hitched so you can procreate
and TP can write about your progeny’s adventures? You two are being silly
donkeys! For goodness sake, I bet Kalasim’s future husband might be older than
her by more than Numair is older than you! The stupid thing is that both of you
have the same fears. For goodness sake, if you just make the commitment, you can
work things out! You are not the only one who married a much older guy. Look at
George and Alanna!”
Alanna and George jumped at their names. “I mean, George is older than Alanna
by 7 years and plus, to boot, he is not so reputable, but Alanna didn’t give a
hoot. They managed to work it out! ARGH!” Sparrow said, waving her arms about.
“You know, I am so tempted to ask if you have consummated your relationship. I
am, though you two are sharing a room, it doesn’t mean that you, well, you
know. Wait!” Sparrow ranted before Numair could open his mouth. “Don’t
tell me as it would spoil the surprise. I am crazy, ain’t I? I want to find
out if you two, you know, but want to figure out by myself. It’s like reading
the back of the book before you read the book. You understand?”
Everyone just stared at her and simultaneously shook their heads.
“I didn’t think so,” Sparrow said. “The frustration just came bursting
out, I guess.” Sparrow glanced at her watch, “About two minutes left. Alanna.”
The Lioness looked at her. “I want to say, you have excellent taste in men and
I think you made the right choice with George,” Sparrow continued. “George,
though you might underestimate your own appeal. Let me tell you that a lot of TP
fans think you are a hottie. I remember one TP website had this poll on who was
the sexist man in Tortall and you won. Yes, you did, over King Jonathon.”
Sparrow smiled as she recalled. “This person commented, ‘George is the man,
yeah baby, he’s the man’.” Alanna laughed.
Sparrow looked at her watch. “Okay, one minute left. Let’s give the basic
message. Numair, Daine, for the love of god, GET MARRIED! Alanna and George, I
wish you happiness and health! Camera with Tortallan negatives please appear!”
The camera dropped on her lap.
Sparrow hugged the autograph book and camera and waited. “10 seconds left!”
Sparrow announced.
They waited in silence. They were probably stunned into silence by her blunt and
rapid speech. I sincerely doubt that anyone had the temerity to forcefully
advise Numair and Daine on their relationship. Or told George he was a hottie.
But then again, what could one expect from someone who had foisted 49 wives on
King Jonathon, turned two boys into pigs, one into a girl, another into a
potential eunuch and condemned a group of hapless boys to PE with Mrs Toh.
Sparrow peeked at her watch and shook her wrist. “I should, by right, be back
home by now.”
“Perhaps the spell is lightly delayed,” Daine offered optimistically.
“A possibility. After all, you did have unexpected side effects,” Numair
pondered, tugging his nose. “This spell is a bit new to me though. I hope I
did not make any errors.”
“ERRORS?!” Sparrow screeched. “What do you mean errors? I have my
O’levels coming up and I need the time to prepare!”
“I think it best we wait,” George advised.
“Where’s my cha gui diao?” Sparrow asked Numair.
Numair looked puzzled, “I’m not too sure where I put it.”
“What a waste of food!” Sparrow admonished, wagging a finger at him. A plate
of cha gui diao appeared on her lap and she started to eat.
She polished off the plate and they waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And waited.
I shall not continue to repeat myself again, thank you very much. I think you
readers can get the general idea.
Finally, Sparrow spoke up, breaking the silence, “Since no one is going to say
it, I think I’m stuck here!”