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History Written by the Pitboss Shifty McIntosh

 The SGHA 2000-2001 Off Season History

 

    After the SGHA's historic inagural season ended, a period of uncertainty began. Both the Gamblers and the Crazy Train had captured one of the jewels in the Quadruple Qrown, but now, each team would go its own way until the next millennium showed its ugly head. To some, this was a surprise, to others, it was expected. Every player knew that the new season would indeed roll around, but killing the time in between proved more difficult than expected for some. Those stories, plus many others, are as follows...

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    - The moronic incompetance of the ice crews shined brighter than ever. Not that fans or players expected any ice, but the way the town of Caledon dropped the ball...completely classless. It really pissed a lot of people off. People in high places, to say the least. All the lies fed to the SGHA Executive Board were enough to make someone go postal. The Arctic Frozen Tundra Bowl never took place the way it should have, i.e. on ice. As a small gesture of revenge, Captain Garrick McIntosh did manage to steal Caledon's coveted Fire Hose. Useless? Yes. Funny? Indeed. As a side note to anybody working for the town of Caledon..DO NOT TURN YOUR BACK ON US. DO NOT FUCK WITH US.

 - The Conductor and Steampower managed to co-exist in a relatively normal existance. To pass the time, they both took the popular passtime of cult steakouts and drive-by snowballing, respectively. Some critics argue that those activities weren't really off-season training at all, but then again, the CT never had been an orthodox outfit...They come into the new season as unpredictable as ever. Along with their unpredictability M.R. had earned the nickname "Catapault" with respect for his late season accomplishments for the CT in 2000.


- The A-Train had a tumultuous off-season at best. Short Feuds with unnamed Crazy Train players led to speculation around the league that the CT was about to be reformated, not unlike Megatron into Galvatron, and take on another name and attitude. As of February 2001, this had been avoided. However, The Equipment Tzar hadn't been seen for months by Gamblers staff. Teammates did not know what exactly he was doing over X-mas 2000, or where exactly he was. Theories were put worth by unidentified parties about his mysterious lifestyle.

- The SGHA's webmaster and public relations officer (aka The Development Dictator) staged a one man holdout for several months. The site was torn down, and G.R.M. wasn't happy. Luckily, he ended the merciless holdout a month prior to the regular season commencing. Fans rejoiced.

- The Conductor being the first to attempt & invent his signature Around the back stick-deke, G.M. had thourougly earned the right to name it. With many hours in the off-season at hand and It being the most original move in the history of hockey, G.M. named it after the first man-made device to orbit the earth, The Sputnik.

- Captain Shifty and The Big Hurt: Core of the Gamblers. The Gamblers one-two punch took on a vigorous trainning regime in the off-season. They played in countless games, practices and charity events, taking on all and any challengers around the GTA. These games greatly improved Gambler odds for the upcoming season. Vegas oddsmakers have the 'Bruno Ridge Bullies', as they are affectionately called by the fans, as clearly pegged favorites to win all upcoming championships. The Gamblers also have taken on a new identity. The carefree fun-loving crew of yesteryear is gone, and now, in it's place, a meaner, more aggressive team stands. Shifty became The Pit Boss, complete with a new signature move: The Nuclear Reprisal Inbound From Outer Space, or NRIFOS for short. The Big Hurt became J-MAC, and Young Nick is now Future Look Defrancesco.

- The biggest news of all came in February of 2001. Gamblers GM Garrick McIntosh was on a scouting mission out west, when by chance alone, he crossed paths with an old nemesis from wars gone by...The Outsider. Legend has it that The Outsider, or "King of the West" and CBHL Fall-of-Famer Will Bercha expressed interest in joining the SGHA. He wanted to stand among the giants once again. Bercha knew that only the most cunning, strongest, swiftest, most skilled players are able to survive in the SGHA. McIntosh questioned his desires, seeing as though popular opinion stated that Bercha was retired for good, following the end of the CBHL. McIntosh was wrong, and Bercha wanted back into the limelight that made him what he was. A press conference later revealed that the unaffiliated Bercha planned a re-debut right around May 2001....

- And so, like all great powers in the world, the SGHA is a facinating story. Such a raw hockey force is unparalleled. Where is Future Look? Will he get skates in time? Why the personality switch from A-Train? What is to become of free-agent Ron the Water Buffalo? Will a great trade ever pan out? Is an expansion team in the works? The answers to these mind expanding questions unfold in the SGHA's...

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