~ DOG'S LAW ~
If I like it, it's mine. If it's in my mouth, it's mine. If I can take it from you, it's mine. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. If it's broken, it's yours.
DOGS VS. MEN
Both take up too much
space on the bed. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning. Both mark their territory. Neither one tells you what's bothering them. Neither does any dishes. Both fart shamelessly. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut. Both are suspicious of the postman. Neither understands what you see in cats.
DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public. Dogs miss you when you're gone. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong. Dogs admit when they're jealous. You can train a dog. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. OK, the really worst disease you can get from them is Rabies, But there's a vaccine for it, and you can kill the one that gives it to you. Dogs understand what "no" means. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
A DOG IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN
A dog's parents will never visit you. A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor. A dog limits its time in the bathroom
to a quick drink. A dog never expects you to telephone. A dog will not get mad at you if you
forget its birthday. A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life. A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog. A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day. The later you are, the happier a dog
is to see you.
LIFE LESSONS LEARNED FROM
A DOG.
If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want. Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes. Always give people a friendly greeting. A cold nose in the crotch is most effective. When you do something wrong, always take responsibility as soon as you're dragged shamefully out from under the bed. If it's not wet and sloppy, it's not a real kiss.
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