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CATS
If you throw a cat out of a car window do you have kitty litter?
I had a cat once. it tasted like chicken.
Little Boy talking to priest:
L.B. "Father, what's that?"
Priest: "Why it's Holy Water son, and if you put it on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a baby boy."
L.B. "Aaawwww, that's nothin if you put turpentine on a cat's butt, he'll pass a motorcycle!"
A woman took her dog to the vet. "Doctor," she said, "I think my dog is dead".
The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all the way over the dog from head to toe, and the dog didn't move.
Then the cat walked all the way over the dog again, this time from toe to head. Still the dog didn't move.
"I regret to inform you maam, but yes, your dog is dead,"
"How much do I owe you?" the grief-stricken lady asks.
"$345," says the doctor.
"$345!!?" the lady screams.
"Yes," replies the doctor calmly. "It cost $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
Cats are God's way of telling us we're being watched.
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Dogs come when called.
Cats take a message and get back to you later. |