The Asylum

WELCOME

You Have Reached
The Mental Hotline. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Are
Obsessive-Compulsive

Press 1 repeatedly. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Are Co-Dependent,
Please Ask Someone

To Press 2 For You. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Have
Multiple Personalities,

Press 3, 4, 5 And 6. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Are Paranoid,
We Know Who You Are
And What You Want.

Stay On The Line So
We Can Trace Your Call. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Are Delusional,

Press 7 And Your Call
Will Be Transferred
To The Mother Ship.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Are Schizophrenic,
Listen Carefully And A
Small Voice Will Tell You

Which Number To Press. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Are Manic-Depressive,
It Doesn't Matter Which
Number You Press

No-One Will Answer. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Are Dyslexic,

Press 9696969696969. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Have A
Nervous Disorder,
Please Fidget With
The Pound Key Until

A Representative Answers. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Have Amnesia

Press 8 And State
Your Name,

Your Address,

Your Phone Number,

Your Date Of Birth,

Your Social Security Number

And Your Mother's

Maiden Name. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Have
Post-Traumatic Stress
Slowly And Carefully

Press 000. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Have A
Bi-Polar Disorder,

Please Leave Message
After The Beep
Or Before The Beep.
Or After The Beep.

Please Wait For The Beep. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Have Short
Term Memory Loss,

Press 9. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Have Short
Term Memory Loss,

Press 9. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Have Short
Term Memory Loss,

Press 9. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Have Short
Term Memory Loss,

Press 9. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

If You Have A
Low Self Esteem,

Please Hang Up.

All Our Operators
Are Too Busy
To Talk To You.

If You Have Short
Term Memory Loss,

Press 9. ~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

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Read Our GuestBook

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