| I don't know why, but for some reason, that was a common theme in many of my episodes. "tempting the bad guy for information and power" I guess I liked it... Geez, already had a sexual fetish at age 10..Maybe younger. Probably younger. I can't believe it. I remember in 4th grade I saw a scrambled porno on tv...But yeah it was scrambled so it was very messed up, but I knew what it was... I think because that year we learned about sex in school. Wtf? 4th graders learning about sex? Yes. IT corrupted me.. Anyway, so I remember watching it on tv and I told my friend about it the next day about how some guy was eating this girl out while she was grabbing herself, and I remember thinking about how disgusting it was, yet at the same time, got a thrill out of it because I knew that it was wrong. But enough about pornos. What exactly makes someone innocent? I think the opposite of innocence is wisdom...actual experienced wisdom. You can be wise in different ways. Wise in the fact you know something is wrong so you will never do it, but you would never know the feeling of doing it, so you don't really have anything to back yourself up with, or the kind of wisdom where you've actually been through it, and you know the ups and downs of it, and know not to do it again, or whatnot. For the most part, I only have the first part, although having the second part could be nice, and yet at the same time, painful. I can't imagine how painful it must be to be the wisest man on earth. Then again, the wisest person on earth is not a man, but a woman. A man cannot go through child birth. When I was a kid, I thought you have to pay to have a job, depending on how "good" of a job it was. Like if you're a "rich" businessman/woman, you'd have to pay a lot of money per month just to keep that title of the job..Stupid, yeah? I used to be a real freaking dork when I was a kid. No wonder so many kids hated me. Just that I LOVED Oldies music, and I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. In fact, I'm listening to some now, but...Just that I'd ONLY listen to Oldies music, and any other music would make me sick. Like I remember I was at this Summer Fun program, where they played a lot of the "hip" music. Music that I would find pretty wimpy today. And I would be covering my ears and moaning and groaning because it "sounded so horrible." At summer fun, I also played Truth or Dare, where I was dared to kiss this really fat and ugly boy on the lips. I didn't want to do it, but everyone was egging me on, so I was going to do it but I dunno, I almost chickend out. I believe I was going to, but then some girl just pushed me onto him, and I heard that squeaky kiss sound. That's THE closest I've ever gotten to a kiss. Pathetic huh? It was about 1 milisecond fast, and I don't remember it at all. I mean, I remember it, but I don't remember it as if I were actually there, but as if I were watching it as a movie... That's how all my memories are... I feel completely helpless, It feels like it never even happened to me... Memories never really evoke any emotions out of me... Not particular memories, anyway... I don't know..it really depends... The other day I almost got teary eyed watching this band play, because I miss performing in band concerts... But that was more than just a memory..That was...well, I don't know.. Childhood innocence is really sweet...Just...annoying...I don't know. I'd hate to talk to someone who is my age but has the innocence of a four year old. Experience is what shapes us, to become who we are in the end. Everything that we go through, helps to shape our character. We can say that we are a certain way, or would do something in a situation, if you were faced with it, but you'd never know until it actually happened to you. More than often you'd do something completely unexpected. That's wisdom right there. |